Time to Grab a Thesaurus

This is kinda embarrassing.

I must have been really tired during proofing, because the number of times my little ponies nod in the latest chapter of Blueblood's Ascension Part III is mind-boggling. So many bobble-heads. As example, I give you three instances of nod/nodded in less than two hundred words.

“I’m too nice for my own good,” Redheart muttered. She nodded at the receptionist with a smile filled with cheese. “How long ’til Daisychain gets herself fired?”

“Years, if you keep helping her like this.” The receptionist nodded towards the staircase. “Looks like a quiet night if we don’t get any emergencies. Maybe you can get a nap in during your break.”

“Thanks, Marzipan.” Redheart stretched her back and headed for the stairs. Before she reached them, the hospital doors opened.

“Hay, Redheart, what gives?” Vinyl Scratch trotted in, her sunglasses hanging around her neck. “I thought you were done for the day.”

“You weren’t the only one.” Redheart rolled her shoulders. “I gotta cover for somepony tonight.”

“Well, horseapples.” Vinyl’s eyes flitted around the hospital lobby. “So, do they have places for not-patients to hang? I don’t…” She blew a breath between her lips. “I don’t wanna spend tonight alone.”

Redheart looked at Marzipan, who both smiled and nodded. “Well, it won’t be the only rule broken tonight.” Redheart tilted her head towards the stairs. “I’ll get you a spot in the family waiting room. We’ve got a nice couch in there.”

I'd like to get your opinions. Is "Nod" one of those "invisible" words, such as "said," "and," "or," and "the?" Is my passage an egregious example of poor word-choice? Is two too many blog posts in a single day?

Comments

[Nealend86]

Maybe they were just "nodding off"!
*cue rim-shot*

Best suggestion I have is to look up synonyms for nod if you feel that you're over using it. Or rework the sentence and have them do something else. Like have the receptionist point instead. You can point with a hoof.

[MyHobby]

1930324

Maybe they were just "nodding off"!
*cue rim-shot*

Haw! I think I just snorted my broccoli.

Best suggestion I have is to look up synonyms for nod if you feel that you're over using it. Or rework the sentence and have them do something else. Like have the receptionist point instead. You can point with a hoof.

Thanks for tossing in your two cents! I think that latter suggestion is what I need to do. Just truck on through the chapter with the Scythe of +3 Nope and chop the nod outta the chapter. At least three out of four nods. I know that first "nodded" sentence works perfectly fine if Redheart just smiles cheekily.

Gonna hunt me some nod... doo-be-doo... gonna whip up some nod stew... gum-dooby-doo-dooby-dee...

[Nealend86]

1932208 The Brotherhood of Nod better watch it's back.