Feb
23rd
2014
Just a quick update · 6:44am Feb 23rd, 2014
just to let all you lovely people know, my editor for Ut Ametur Iris is impossibly busy with work. *Shakes fist* So part 2 of Always and forever will be delayed for a little while. On a somewhat related note, i'm still taking suggestions for ideas and scenarios (or even more guest chapters) for Ut Ametur Iris. Please feel free to shoot some my way, i promise I don't bite.
Also, what is your guys opinions on 'What if' chapters? As in chapters that are in an alternate universe to Ut Ametur, were I can explore various scenarios without mucking up the canon of the fic. They would be optional, and not important to the story, its just a good way to explore 'alternate adventures' without ruining the planned story.
...This better be a reference to that one chapter where our human claimed the ponies supposedly removed one of his kidneys for stuff and reasons. Because that chapter honestly doesn't have a place in the main continuity, man. Unless the human is blatantly lying, then it fits (kind of... not really) even though it still doesn't make sense.
1864920
the 'human' has a name you know.
And how exactly does it not make sense? You haven't even read the chapters that will explain it. It really shits me that people dislike the chapter simply because it had a darker edge to it. I get it's a badly written chapter in a generally happy feely fic but that doesn't mean it needs to be considered 'non-existent'.
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We don't merely dislike it because it's dark, we dislike it because it's needlessly dark and doesn't make sense. It doesn't fit with Andrew's characterization in all the later chapters, so it feels like it was thrown in for cheap shock value to add drama. It doesn't help that it make not a bit of sense for the princess to have done things like removed one of his kidneys, ripped out one of his teeth, or cut chunks out of his flesh. That kind of trauma doesn't just go away, you know.
...That would be your fault, actually—because you haven't written/published them yet. How can you expect us to believe this makes any sense when it remains completely unexplained and even contradicts later chapters, where he doesn't act like he's been tortured and traumatized in the very least?
That's a downside to writing chapters non-linearly, I suppose. Did you plan this ahead of time, or was it a spur of the moment decision? Because it feels like the latter. The development came out of complete nowhere.
INB4 it was all just a bad dream/illusion and/or "I was merely testing you, Andrew—I'm a psycho bitch princess with a messed up sense of ethics, the ends justify the means, here's compensation, cry me a river, I've got the Karma Houdini perk."
Anyways, can you really blame us for reacting the way we do, especially not knowing what you know?
1866604
Okay. Im going to take a step back here. Is the chapter really that awful? Is it such a horrid peice of writing that it needs removal? If that's the case then i'll remove it.
you are my readers. I write these stories for you. I do try and write what you guys wanna see but sometimes that comes out not how i was expecting.
So, I will remove Drinking Problem. However this is going to push other chapters back as I write around the void. If I remove Drinking Problem, will you mind longer breaks between chapters?
to answer your first question: the What If chapters were not created to cover up Drinking Problem. They will be for scenarios like: what if Andrew wasn't dashs first 'time' or what if Andrew was severely injured in the events of Fragile?
stuff like that
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The chapter itself isn't awful (although the date rape shakedown scene didn't make a great lot of sense to me either, I thought this was a matriarchal society and that herding was pretty typical?). The seemingly pointless unresolved torture trauma subplot which doesn't appear to have even the slightest presence in any of the later chapters is the awful part. You need to either resolve or remove that subplot, because right now it's only serving as a glaringly inconsistent plothole in your story.
I apologize if I've been too caustic about this issue—I'm only worked up about it because I really like your story, and really believe that you should fix the only real glaring weakness it has right now, that being the "out-of-nowhere inconsistent torture trauma revelation" in Drinking Problem.