The Issue with At the End · 9:09am Dec 19th, 2013
This entry contains spoilers for At the End. Be warned...
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I've heard it often enough. Your first fanfiction will always suck, and that's something I am inclined to believe, or at least that it is the rule and not the exception. Everyone has to start somewhere, and that somewhere just so happens to be in the middle of nowhere with no artistic skills, tricks, techniques, cheats, or criticism to guide their way. Grammar and spelling are uncovered through trial and error or very boring college classes. Not to mention English is one of the most messed up languages out there.
We all have our problems, and the simple act of using a keyboard, a stationary object that never moves or changes outside of the types where the letters become illegible through repeated keystrokes or we need to wipe off the Cheetos crumbs off the board becomes a clever dance of wits and rage as our fingers refuse to listen to our brains and constantly mistype things. Traitorous bastards.
We can start off young or old, but that can never match the benefits of actual writing experiences. Little dabbles in notebooks blotted black with erased thoughts and scratched out revisions, ramblings in blogs or BBSs dotted across the internet, or sitting around with friends with a cold one in hand and the songs of bards and heroes on your lips; stories always have to start somewhere.
I too started off as a child imagining tales of great heroes, monsters, and villains. I was an imaginative lad. I crafted mythical beasts and heroes. I drew rough drafts of monsters and gods. It was how I started storytelling for myself. My stories grew more absurd and sensationalist, but that never mattered. It was typical childish and later teenage escapism. I was an antisocial outcast, mostly because my friends kept moving away and I became emotionally stunted and withdrawn as a result. I was happy in my escapism, which was why I never stopped, no matter how much I was bullied.
Then along came Shaw. I won't identify her beyond that moniker, but she was the one who started it all. She was the one who got me into fanfiction. I recall it quite vividly, in fact, even though the memories I have of that day are fragmented from the whole. Her brother was one of the longest-lived friends I had, but even he moved away. Fortunately, he didn't move as far away as the others. It was a long enough drive so that meant that any interactions boiled down to sleepovers, but we didn't mind. He was showing me episodes of Naruto, the one I remember most being where Orochimaru reveals himself to the shinobi of the Leaf Village for the first time. I am still fairly certain it wasn't a legal copy, but I was too young to know such things.
But then I went downstairs to their computer. We often played Neopets and talked via those accounts, so I wasn't trespassing by an extent. I was a friend of the family, but I stumbled across something I never contemplated until then. I saw Shaw's fanfiction stories.
Just like my own very first story, hers were mostly concerning the Teen Titans animated series, yet hers was infinitely better than mine, mostly because they were self contained and possessed some actual character development. It was those works that gave me the push to start writing on my own, and thus Phantom Shadow came into being.
What does this have to do with At the End you may ask? Everything. Phantom Shadow was the first fanfiction I started. At the End was the second. Do you not see the correlation?
What got me into My Little Pony is for another blog post, but before that time, I had long given up writing fanfiction. Phantom Shadow’s innumerable problems prevented me from working on it, plus I didn't have the time and was in college. I had no real spark or inspiration to write anything. I was an avid reader, but there was nothing inspirational enough to pick up the pen once again. After I saw that first episode and read my first two fanfictions, that provided the spark to begin anew. I had something I was passionate about.
Yet that problem still lingered and carried onto At the End.
Turn back the pendulum once again. I am a child, mind brimming with potential. I was an avid consumer of science fiction and epic fantasy. To me, the best stories were sprawling epics that included many characters and had great and grave stakes. World, civilizations, and the sanctity of goodness were the price of failure.
It was a flaw that carried over to At the End.
When I first started writing about ponies and Minecraft, I had not learned enough about what made a proper story. The most basic writing technique is a three arc structure. My mind already wrote those, even if I did not consciously mean to do so. No, my problem was restraint. Not everything needs to have epic scales and expansive storylines. Length does not equal greatness. When I first started At the End, I was still in a greenhorn's mindset, and I had a very particular set of vices. The worst of which was this story was going to be the first of five.
Yes, I honestly had no restraint starting this. Yes, it was going to expand over five stories, three of them almost guaranteed to be as long as this one.
I simply could not shake that mindset. All the dozens of interconnecting threads that spanned stories didn't need to be there. I could not perceive a story that was self contained. It was beyond me, and thus I included several things that were going to be foreshadowing for later.
In chapter two, the Crafter passes through one of several black structures when passing through the void between worlds. That wasn't just some background mystique to the scene, it was there for a reason. It was a piece of a monster, one bound – “chained” if you will – to the world of Equestria.
Speaking of chains, if you have read my story, you know where this is going.
These five beasts were the pillars of a prison, something which I passively reference in one of my chapters: “The Pillar of Abaddon”. Five black sphere, five potential stories. Geez, this can't be contrived, can it?
Yes, I admit, I was biting off waaaaaaaaay more than I could chew. I was in no way prepared to take on such an ambitious project, especially orchestrated by a reoccurring villain lurking in the shadows.
I really wish I didn't create Brimstone.
I'll just get it out of the way because I have long axed the idea of five stories. Brimstone was Lucifer. No, seriously, Brimstone was the devil. Yes, that devil. Little Horn. Polaris. The son of perdition, the father of lies. Five monsters did not needlessly trap an innocent soul, they ousted Lucifer from his throne, and he was pissed.
I had stories, but I had no sense of restraint, cohesion, storytelling, methodology, or cohesive sense of creative talent. I added things merely because they looked cool or I imagined a great scene in my head. Brimstone came into a being because of a scene later in the story where he is talking to a pony. That's how he was born, and I retroactively added him into the story after I started writing it!
The Endermen. Wonder why he hasn't done that much? Because the same thing happened to him. There is a scene later in the story that at the time justified including an Endermen coming to Equestria along with the Crafter. That scene where I attempted (re: I really sucked at) making readers believe what was stalking Fluttershy was an Endermen when it was actually Era'doth? Same thing. It shouldn't have been there. Again, I crafted stories around a loose continuity of most certainly NOT connected scenes.
That is what this blog post boils down to, my greatest regret of this story: it will never be as good as it should be. I realized the error of my ways at about chapter 18. I realized what an awful mess of exposition chapter 17 had turned out to be and thought to myself, “My God, what have I created?”. It was a waking up that occurred far later than it should have. Ever since then, I have been trying to retroactively clean up my mistakes, systematically destroying everything I could involving those supposed four additional stories. That still left two big problems: Brimstone and the Endermen.
I am reaching my limit on what I can clean up. I am polishing absolutely everything I can about this story, especially considering I breached a thousand favorites. I really want this story to be the best it can be, and I seriously don't know if I will be able to pull through. Long ago, a fellow user on the site expressed shock over the fact I had over a hundred watchers when I had (at the time) only one story. Some people may have just liked my story telling talents, but after chapter 18, I started thinking that person saw something I didn't see. The flaws inherent to At the End are still there, but I didn't notice them.
I just wish to tell everyone this little piece of story history before the events that are about to take place are actually published. I have a lot of watchers and people who have favorited At the End. I feel the pressing need to explain the intrinsic flaw and the possible disappointment to come. Due to me rewriting several portions of the story, Brimstone's backstory included, halfway through the story... that threw several things to chance. In order to correct a rookie mistake, I made another mistake. I changed what I had written, however flawed, into something else.
My feelings relating to At the End are complex and often conflicting. I don't like it because I made such a foolish and stupid mistake during the scripting phases, including not having a completed script before I started writing. I am currently an architect writer, not a gardener writer. My reforged style requires me to have everything planned out ahead of time rather than planning as I go. On the other hand, I like this story because it not only gave me such much-needed practice, I met a bunch of great people that enjoy what I write. People actually look forward to the next update, watching that favorite icon light up with a couple thousand more words spouted from my mind.
I just feel very nervous about this story. I am walking a very fine line, and I do not know on which side I will be when the end finally comes. After the second arc reaches its zenith, the quality of the story is up in the air. I honestly don't know what further changes will be made, or what extent Brimstone and the Endermen will change. Those two are wildcards. If I had to start again, I would remove them entirely, but I cannot do so at this time.
A couple years ago I heard of something called the “Black Hole”. It was a term used by certain artists that go back to earlier strips in webcomics and fix them up a little. However, they get so caught up in fixing things that they cannot focus their eyes on the present. I see that Black Hole in front of me. I do not know if fixing things as I go counts, but I certainly do not wish to rewrite the entire story now. When I am finished, maybe. Not now.
Consider this blog as a warning to you who read this story of mine. It was crafted when a young mind did not know how to write. Yes, it contains problems. Yes, I wish I could fix them, but I cannot as of yet. These problems may even destroy what drew you to it in the first place. I can only sit back on this box that substitutes for my chair, ponder such things in the darkness of my room, and wait.
Problems abound. It's up to you on how you interpret them or appreciate them.
Cheers.
~Journeyman
If you were to go back and make changes to something like Brimstone and the Enderman (although I have liked the Enderman and the Miner's experience with them), or to change the central story so that you wouldn't have loose ends that were meant for them, I wouldn't mind going back to read the story again. This is a story with such length so much stuff going on, with medium-to-long lengths of time between updates, I was considering going back to reread it anyway!
There's one thing that's confused me about the story, specifically something from the Miner's point of view: in one chapter* he mentioned how all of his creations felt shallow in comparison to the comparative amount of effort the ponies had to put forth to make rudimentary things. Then one or two chapters** later, he's wishing for his home world again, and mentioning some of the monuments, fortresses and veritable mountains he's created, so it seems like he's taking pride in what he's made. Does he think his creations and abilities are worthwhile, or not? That's a pretty big deal concerning his character development in Equestria.
*This was either when he was back at camp, or when he was leading the party to his underground compound.
**This was either when he was leading the party to his underground compound, or when they actually got there.
At least it will 8e 8etter starting from /33029/18.
~Vriska Serket
You're disappointed because your story evolved as you wrote it?
That's silly.
You should be more worried if your story doesn't change. It means you're not coming up with new ideas, not learning anything from the experience. The day you write a story, start to finish, without having to take it to the cutting room at least once is the day you stop writing altogether.
Also, Brimstone is one of my favorite characters. He's mysterious and ephemeral, his methods are deceitful and his morals practically non-existent, and yet we can't help be give him some measure of grudging respect. He does despicable things without hesitation or remorse, motivated solely by an all-consuming thirst for final, breaking vengeance.
But even now, when most beings would be blinded by their bloody quest, he gives credit where it's due. He's willing to acknowledge the strengths and accomplishments of mortals even while spitting down on them for their perceived weaknesses. He is able (if not willing) to admit that he has no place in a world without his hated foe. Whether you meant to or not, you've made him into one of the most well-executed Anti-Heroes I've ever seen; one who doesn't blur the line between good and evil, but stands firmly on the Dark side while still occasionally leaning over to the heroes and going "I'm not touching you!"
And all this with nothing to pin it to beyond goosebumps and hallucinations.
Personally, I'm glad you made this "mistake." A character of this caliber can't be made all at once, and At the End would definitely be lesser without him.
Great did you change some chapters again •_• welp I better get to reading it again.
I personally love this story, flaws and all. I've always wanted long, epic stories. Many of my favorites on fanficiton.net have slowed, died or worse, been deleted.
As long as you continue the story, even as you fix flaws, I'm happy with everything you've written.
Seriously, don't let Brimestone convince you into stopping, or altogether, redoing this story, because its just as good as it is now (In my opinion).
Oh, and Merry Christmas, and have a happy new year.
I see what you did there. xD
But yea. You make some valid points. Brimstone is a very interesting character, even if he feel out of place.
The enderman (endermen?) gives Steve something to initially "talk" to the ponies about, but endermen would live a piss poor existance in a world like ours, or Equestria. Endermen is damaged by water, and water is basically everywhere. And that is even without mentioning air humidity. So slow death by constantly being burned by (acid like) water seem a bit excessive, but that is what an enderman got to expect in a physics based world with 50%+ surface water.
They are indeed cool (but unnecessary) elements, but what really drives me to read this is Steve's interactions and experiences with the world and its people. It is these scenes that are memorable. I remember feeling curious when I first saw Steve waking up somewhere in Ponyville. I recall how he panicked when his groggy eyes noticed Lyra and mistaking her for a creeper. I got exited when he ran from the guard and then I could feel his serenity when he met the sovereign (Luna). I remember the gratitude I felt when he escaped the guard with the ender pearl. I smile when I recall of when he found the waterfall, of how it mesmerized him and how he experenced the gentle flow of water, the steady breeze moving tree branches and bringing familiar yet unknown scents. But I also remember how that scene took a darker turn, and I felt his dread when he was fighting a loosing battle against that genius pony (that I forgotten the name of) and the relief and gratitude when he manage to win the fight and escape. I remember the feelings how he took shelter in a tiny hiding hole for the night, and the next morning he found out about physics kinda like Isac Newton did. And how he ran/fought against Everfree monsters with the help this new knowledge, how he found his way underground and found out how common diamonds were, but how rare coal and iron were, his "expertly" executed plan to grab some seeds for his farm, and his heavy fight against Barricade. These are some of the moments that I remember even several to many months after reading them. The feeling of how the miner experience world so different, yet similar to his own is what this story is all about. This is the reason why I grab my phone every night hoping there is a new update. I would have read this even without its main villain. Heck I would have prefered if the conflict were only miner vs ponies and the obvious mental one that comes with being in this unknown world.
The miner is one of if not the most memorable characters I have ever had the pleasure of encountering.
1623774
As much as he likes the Equestrians, the Overworld has always been his home. I'm living in a basement and sitting on a box. It's my home, but it doesn't feel home. His routines, quirks, and mannerisms that he's picked up in the Overworld were developed over a very long period of time. It's just our nature to miss home. I miss home.
What's different between his creations and the creations of the Equestrians is the heart put into them. He builds because he is good at it. He likes doing it, but it holds no intrinsic value other than to distract him. He can dig, make farms, build houses, but do that long enough and it feels routine. Do it even longer and it becomes more to stop being bored. It's too easy for him. The ponies have to struggle and work harder than he does, and therefore put more pride and love into their work. He envies them a little, even if he misses home. It's not that his own creations are not worthwhile, it's that theirs have more value in his eyes.
As for the length of time between chapters, there's little I can do about that one, especailly now. Mostly because of this:
0.media.collegehumor.cvcdn.com/30/61/6909b95c5b3a28664beb894772035329-a-haiku-about-finals.jpg
1624151
I'm making retroactive changes, not changing entire chapters. That means that the more recent events are overriding the intended purpose of previous ones. I have yet to replace the contents of any chapter and have no intention of doing so for the foreseeable future. If I ever make a change like that to any story, I will be alerting my fans at least a week beforehand, and still leave some way to see the previous chapter sans the changes. That is what my gDoc account is for.
1624023
He's something I have less to write into a scene and more to write around. Given that I changed what his story was going to unfold into, that changed how he was going to react with others and certain events. Deleting his original backstory forced me to give him a larger role, something I am forced to do less out of choice and more out of necessity. It's not something I like doing.
1626241
If I get off my duff, I might have a Christmas present for everyone. Maybe. Apprivoiser is going to be a one-shot and is already mostly scripted.
1626416
Regardless of my feelings, it has been fun, and the Crafter is one of the best imaginary friends I have ever had. He will go down with Reon, the Journeyman and Doctor Sirus as the ones who put me on the path of writing. Perhaps when finals are over, I can get some proper work done. Thanks for the praise.
1626760 still reading from the start again