So a plot bunny bit me... now its infected. · 5:24am May 3rd, 2012
The idea plunged its fangs into my neck on monday while I was at work. It spawned from an idea that of someone becoming so sympathetic to Chrysalis' loss that they took revenge on her behalf...
I then twisted it and came up with a hort, vicious tale of a loyal changeling who would give his life for his queen.
Effectively, if the changelings thrive on devouring love, then an emotion likehate is PURE POISON.
So one of the things changelings have to be careful about, is keeping their negative emotions under control. If they start to 'hate', they literally poison themselves.
The scenerio I started writing at work just to purge it from my mind involves one of Chrysalis' personal (and most loyal) knights, Silent Knight, told from his point of view. After they get 'ejected' from Canterlot, they crasland in the wilds, and he discovers that the loss is so bitter because of how close they were, that the queen herself has developed the early stages of HATE.
Which is fatal of course...
So this knight comforts her, and devours the hate she's building up to prevent it from taking over and killing her.
Which of course means that he makes the ultimate sacrifice, as it's going to kill him instead. So in one last gesture of loyalty, he lets the festering rot of the Hate take over his mind, and becomes a messenger of vengeance to strike back at the heart of Canterlot before his time expires. A suicide mission.
Since he has nowhere NEAR the power to fight any of the ponies, he goes to the old castle in the Everfree where it is known that the last echoes of Nightmare Moon, or rather, The Malice still exists. And it empowers him... At a steep price. Instead of maybe a day or two left in his lifespan, he's got maybe half-an hour as the malice makes the hatred EXPLODE inside him.
But it doesn't matter, the changeling becomes a creature of pure rage and fury, taking on the name Knight Fury, and has enough power to CRASH the wedding reception.
The creature that smashes through the shield like it was glass literally lands in a crater of fire, and bursts into flames. The flaming inferno shaped like an equine lifeform declares that it will burn canterlot to the ground, and launches an all out attack.
Even had the perfect track enter my brain.
The 'fight' that ensues is like a nightmare for all the ponies involved. For while the raging monster does not inflict any serious injuries to any of the cast, the collateral is unbelievable. Knight Fury literally wrecks everything he slams into and sends guards, and even Princess Luna slamming through a few walls. He's very fast, is backed by Luna's stripped power, and doesn't see any reason to stop and 'talk' like a good villain, he's just there to destroy as much as he can before his time expires. He flat out scares everypony to the moon and back.
All the while, Knight Fury feels his life fading fast, as the greater his rage, the faster the hate consumes him. But he stops caring and just keeps turning the juice up, aware that his time grows shorter and shorter at almost exponential rates.
Eventually, the ponies manage to keep him occupied so he can get zapped by the Elements... Which forces The Malice to flee.
But Knight Fury, power stripped, and now literally on the verge of collapse since the malice consumed almost all his strength in exchange for his power, still tries desperately to inflict one last blow, and attacks the one who cast his queen out in the first place. Shining Armor.
It all burns down to a scene with Shining Armor literally watching an exhausted, dying changeling wailing on a fresh shield as he protects Cadence. A fresh shield the changeling cracks with each blow, even as he's slowing down, tottering on the verge of collapse.
The last blow shatters the shield, and the changeling stumbles in for one, barely connecting 'punch to the face' blow... and falls down, bleeding from cuts, flesh burnt and rotting (Hate makes a changeling burn and rot from the inside out, like a diseased corpse, that's why it kills them), and wheezing horribly.
And the very end, the changeling looks so pitiful that he has to venomously reject the ponies who try and help him ("NO! Stay back! I'd rather starve than accept any of YOUR love..."), and delivers a message with his dying words. Shining Armor and Princess Cadence, murdered or condemned more than half his people to death in the instant the cast them all from Canterlot. He calls them butcherers with his last breaths before the glow fades from his eyes and he moves no more. His last point of view thoughts musing on his love and loyalty for a queen he knew he saved in the end.
The ponies of course, are left in a state of morbid shock.
The metaphore I use to reprisent Knight Fury is 'The candle which burns brightest, burns quickest.'
Now, at the moment, it's partially written. It was the only thing I could wrap my mind around at work so I attacked it until I ran out of steam for the day and left it at that. What do you guys think of this idea?
This is why you make the big bucks, ATC.
Of course, we can only pay you in internet gratitude...
......Pardon my language, but that is fucking BRILLIANT!!!!!!!
That sounds like an awesome story. I wish to read it in its completed state.
Sounds promising.
I'm always encouraging authors to write up the crazy idea's that they have. This one despite being a "Chrysa fic" (or changeling in this case) still actually sounds good. Feel free to purge this story in about 5 or so chapters.
That's pretty damned awesome, actually. It has plenty of pathos, and while it has a "good" ending in that none of the ponies we care about are deeply hurt, they're left to ponder the nature of a world where one species must feed off another; something they as herbivores don't often face. It smacks them right in the naivete.
Not bad.
Just one Word: BRILLIANT!
but neither forget that after that ballant attempt of invasion made by the changelings, by all rights they declared war to Equestria, so Military responce is actually now expected, so even after this concept story and the inminent death of that suicide changeling, that will not deterrate in any way the incoming tons of Equestrian Military forces that now will be going after them, if they doesn't die for self poisioning, or stravation the now furious Equestrian soldiers will be their end, Queen Crisalys ambition condemned all of them to their extintion in many ways along the ones you stated in your this current concept
Even More: I can actually imagine Shining Armor replying the dying Changeling in this way in his final moments before his life fade away:
Shining Armor: Don't blame us for your People's despair, Blame your Queen for the moment she decide trying to invade us would be a great idea, from that moment all your fates where set in stone...
Even More: I can actually imagine Shining Armor replying the dying Changeling in this way in his final moments before his life fade away:
Shining Armor: Don't blame us for your People's despair, Blame your Queen for the moment she decide trying to invade us would be a great idea, from that moment all your fates where set in stone...
Sorry for the double post
Great Idea, can't wait to see it.
So... About Arrow 18, any progress, news, etc.?
Wow, thats awesome!!! You should write it!!
Brilliant! Cant wait!
........ get to work on this. Now.
Well damn, this sounds like a great short story. Nice work!
Wow! That's quite the plot bunny! Knowing the quality of your writing, Admiral, I think you could definitely pull this off and do it well.
Fire away, mon capitan!
Sounds good.
I'm doing a few excerpts myself, they're in my deviantart gallery: iamthejam.deviantart.com
All I can say is that you have the magicks.
Interesting. Now that I think back, the changelings never did do anything out of hatred. And while I certainly don't see it as part of changelings mythology, as I can't see the show working like that, (and I certainly won't use the idea if I ever use changelings) I also don't expect to see any spaceships in My Little Pony. Point is, this is a great idea for a story.
Of course, now the only problem is that everyone here has seen what will happen and the reasons for it. If you want the same kind of impact you'd have somehow think of a way to pull off the story effectively even with everyone knowing the outcome. Which can be done. Judging by your skill, I'm sure you can do it.
Regardless, good luck in your endeavors.
I believe there is one phrase that adequately sums up my feelings on this work:
DO WANT!!
impress me, i dare you.
Would that last bit happen to be a reference to this poem by Edna St. Vincent Millay:
My candle burns at both ends
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends -
It gives a lovely light.
The story with the injured changeling has just started.
Broken horn, broken leg, starving, afraid...
What if it asked Princess Celestia for death?
A queen would do what needed to be done.
Equestria has no queen.
It would be the first step Down a path she had promised herself not to take.
This is going to be brilliant.
Fund it.