• Member Since 16th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 7th, 2018


Give me an eternity, I'll give you an update!

More Blog Posts689

  • 42 weeks
    Season Eight Episode Reviews: Molt Down

    This week is a Spike episode? What a re-”molt”-ing development this is!

    Let's look at “Molt Down,” the episode that will surely be perfectly normal and have no long-lasting repercussions on a character's appearance.

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    2 comments · 573 views
  • 43 weeks
    Season Eight Episode Reviews: Break Up Break Down

    I dread going into this week's episode. For today, we discuss matters of the heart. Romance, love, heartbreak, and all that rot. Which means we run right into the most loathsome of all fandom constructs, the kind of thing that destroys friendships and leaves the most brilliant of minds curled up helplessly in a corner, foaming from the mouth:


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    6 comments · 356 views
  • 44 weeks
    Season Eight Episode Reviews: Non-Compete Clause

    We've had a string of good episodes the last few weeks. Whether it be shapeshifting seaponies, an actual Celestia episode, or discovering Starlight's dark phase, we've had lots of fun and plenty of laughs.

    Today's episode is about Applejack and Rainbow Dash competing.

    The good times are over.

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    7 comments · 405 views
  • 45 weeks
    Season Eight Episode Reviews: The Parent Map

    Happy Cinco de Mayo, everyone who cares about that! What better way to spend the day than watching a cartoon about horses dealing with their mommy/daddy issues? Well, tough, because that's what we're doing. This is “The Parent Map.”

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    4 comments · 299 views
  • 46 weeks
    Season Eight Episode Reviews: Horse Play

    So hey, it's a new episode. Surely nothing to be excited about. Just another standard episode of a cartoon pony show.

    Only it's a CELESTIA EPISODE!

    Prepare for extra spicy biased scoring as we look at Best Princess' newest episode, “Horse Play!”

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    5 comments · 352 views

Comic Review: Issue #13 (The Salty Sea Mare) · 2:10pm Nov 20th, 2013

Well, I couldn't sleep thanks to dreams of my impending doom and failures, so I managed to catch the comic early today. So grap your tri-fold hats, strap on those peg legs, and prepare for a tale of swashbuckling adventure on the high seas with Issue #13 of the IDW series! But keep it away from the kiddies, ya hear? For this comic be rated YAAAAAAARGH!

Our heroes begin their tale with a trip to Horseshoe Bay, a lovely beach right outside of Baltimare. Their main purpose is to return Gil, a fish Fluttershy has been nursing back to health, to his home in the sea (where he can play with his best friend Gorgo), despite the mare's complete refusal to just let go. Before she can fully give up and try to hide Gil from the others, however, she's knocked over by a wave spurned from a massive wooden ship. And captaining that ship is Hoofbeard, a pirate in search of a capable crew of stallions that can help him recover a map.

Unfortunately for the Mane 6, Dash turns out to be a massive pirate fan, to the point where she even speaks the language, and she's eager to join. Fluttershy also tries her best to sign up, if only so she can track Gil down and go full-blown Misery on his fins. The others gradually join, and a mighty crew is formed, one that will spread menace and terror from sea to sea! But when the ship sets down where the pirate crew was last located, our heroes realize there's something a bit off about Hoofbeard and his mission...

This story starts fast and does not slow down the pace at all. All of the exposition for why our heroes are going to Horseshoe Bay is handled in the span of a page-and-a-half, and when Hoofbeard shows up, it takes only two pages for the entire cast to be enthralled with a life of swabbing the deck and hoisting the sails. And yet, it works perfectly for this kind of story. It's a swashbuckler that also happens to star magical horses, and unlike the last two issues, the genre doesn't feel forced. It moves quickly because it has to get to the action, but still leaves time to have fun with the characters.

All of the characters have a chance to shine, with the possible exception of Rarity (although she gets some great moments in the first couple pages). Applejack shows that she can make booze out of pineapple juice (and no, they aren't even really trying to hide it anymore) and shows more common sense about the situation than anypony else. Pinkie is her usual self, bouncing around and singing charming sea chanties that make you want to see if Davy Jones' Locker has anything better going on. But the best is definitely Rainbow Dash, who goes full-blown pirate from the start and just embraces the entire lifestyle, talking in pirate-speak and initiating a beat-down bar brawl (and kicking flank left and right while doing so). Hoofbeard is also cool, although in a sort-of Jack Sparrow-before-the-sequels kind of way.

The overall art and story are also very well done, and the references are severely toned down compared to the last four. (And yes, One Piece gets a background shout out.) There are only two weak points in the issue. The first is that many of the pirates in the town are clearly just redresses of existing ponies, including the CMC as a trio of drunk buccaneers, and Granny Smith and Big Mac selling pineapples and pineapple accessories. (Many of the pirates also look weird, mostly resembling actual horses, but I think that works.) The other, more important issue is that Fluttershy is a freaking sociopath throughout the entire issue over Gil. When she's trying to act like a pirate, she's adorable, but the minute the fish comes up...

Still, it's a very good start to what looks to be an exciting issue of pirates and ponies. Let's hope the next one can keep the steam up.

Oh, and this is Princess Twilight's first appearance, and it's handled well. For the most part, she's just Twilight, joining up only because Hoofbeard sweet talks her about how awesome she would be as his super-smart navigator. The only point where her status as princess is brought up is during the bar brawl...which goes about as well as saying you're a rich, important person with connections to a bar full of greedy, desperate, bloodthirsty pirates would. (And then she kicks ass, but that's another story.) It's still Twilight...which, as I understand it, is also a problem. But all that discussion shall wait until the weekend. For now, just buy the comic.

Well, off to go fail again! Gotta earn them doubloons!

- 3 Days Remain -
- For Real -
- Yesterday Was In Error -
- But Yeah, 3 Days Remain -

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Comments ( 11 )

You got it early? I'm jelly!

which, as I understand it, is also a problem.

Only if you're an /mlp/ poster...otherwise, I think "she's just like Twilight always has been, only with wings" is exactly what we wanted from her apotheosis.

It's still Twilight...which, as I understand it, is also a problem.

Since when is Twilight being herself any kind of "problem"? :rainbowhuh:

Sorry, I know you said it was a discusion that would wait 'til the weekend -so don't feel put upon to reply on my account-- but I'm still rather confused.

1523539 It seems to me that it's probably fandom will never be satisfied with anything the show does, regardless of the actual direction it takes.

#5 · Nov 20th, 2013 · · ·

1523518 it was released at 3 in the morning on Comixology.


That's how I got it so early, instead of downloading it to my phone during lunch. Good thing I stopped at McDonalds on the way. At least the cholesterol will shut down my heart faster while giving me the energy to keep working.


The fandom had a tendency to keep moving the goal posts whenever Twilicorn comes up. It's frustrating, to be sure.


I just want a good episode. As long as I enjoy it, I'll be at least satisfied.

So the pirate-themed MLP comic appears on the same day as Assassin's Creed 4: Black Flag on PC.

How queer. :twilightsmile:

Hey, you said on the Round Stable that you had "a thousand horrible pirate puns sitting on standby," and I only caught two! I WANT MORE BAD PUNS, YOU LANDLUBBER! :twilightangry2::twilightangry2::twilightangry2:

In other news... I was expecting some Finding Nemo references with Gil, though maybe they're saving that for the rest of the arc.

I too thought it was odd that so many of the bar patrons were re-dresses of existing ponies. It's not even a case of re-using Flash assets, either (which they've fazed out in the show itself too, since they've had the time and money to make more). It was probably meant to be reminiscent of something or a metaphor, but I can't figure out what.

Oh, and of course...


You know what I want out of Saturday?
I want :twilightsmile:, as :twilightsheepish:, played by :twilightoops:, acting like :facehoof:, fixing :trollestia:'s problems.

Because that's what :twilightangry2::rainbowdetermined2::fluttershbad::ajbemused::duck::pinkiehappy: is all about

I nearly died laughing at the very last page. I'm currently engaged in the conspiracy theory that the team behind this comic is who has actually been commissioning those Rarity vs. Giant Crab images.

Wait till we see who actually fights/defeats it, then we'll have a conspiracy :raritywink:

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