Sketch - Tiaras · 10:44pm Apr 16th, 2012
Still fighting with writer's block, but I'm trying to keep the creative process... if not necessarily flowing, at least not entirely stagnant. So I've been indulging random ideas with short, one-shot scenes. Ponies Visit McDonald's was one, although when that hit a thousand words, I went ahead and published it. Here's one that didn't hit that mark. Which is probably for the best.
Princess Cadence loved tiaras. It was kind of her thing. Auntie Luna liked to stay up late. Auntie Celestia liked being a magical pony. (Don’t judge, okay?) Cadence loved tiaras.
“I love tiaras.” The winged unicorn sat with a grim expression, her forelegs folded on the desk in front of her. A crisp business suit struck a sharp contrast with her pink coat, and her auroral mane spilled down over the black fabric like the first colors of dawn. And like Celestia’s sun just beginning to crest the horizon, the ensemble was topped off by an ornate golden tiara.
She loved tiaras. She didn’t just like tiaras. Other ponies liked tiaras. Princess Cadence fucking loved tiaras.
Which pretty much brings us up to speed. Oh, and there was the foal-sitting gig when she was younger. That had provided some nice seed capital - despite her royal blood, Cadence had never been given a free ride. But the real money had come when she had discovered her special talent: tiaras.
Of course, it took more than just a cutie mark and a bag full of bits to turn a special talent into a successful corporation. It had taken her years of sacrifice, dedication, and a rather convenient government-granted monopoly to build her empire. But more important than all of those things was her passion. A passion for tiaras.
“I have been informed,” the pink princess said slowly, “that you also love tiaras.”
The filly on the other side of the desk shrank further into her seat, until all that could be seen of her was her own distinctive headpiece: a silver, diamond-set tiara.
“So, Miss...” The unicorn licked her lips slowly, as if tasting the word. “Miss Tiara. There are two ways this can go...”
Lol........ and so it begins......
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OMG, it is a complete shame that this doesn't meet the 1000 criteria. I just laughed so hard I thought I was going to hurt myself.
She's a tiararizing tiararist!
you win
This needs to be turned into a space opera.
Shenanigans! SHENANIGANS!
If there is a way to like and favourite blog entries, I would be doing it right now. Dear Celestia, I am clicking the top right of the post BUT NOTHING IS HAPPENING!
But seriously, it's nearly perfect and has gotten a laugh out of me multiple times during the reading. It isn't often that I read a fic with a laugh to word-count ratio that high.
73799
It's a blessing and a curse: I tend to stuff a lot into very few words. Great for bite-sized comedy like that, awful for pacing and word count when I'm trying to write a real story. But I'm glad you liked the sketch!
And now I have the nagging feeling that I've used that exact same expression, about the laugh-to-word-count ratio, somewhere myself...