Celestia Sleeps In--Chapter 12 notes and thanks · 2:49am Jul 28th, 2013
As always, thanks to my pre-readers: Humanist, my parents, and Woonsocket Wrench. I almost persuaded an unaffiliated third party to join the fun (he claimed to love proof-reading), but so far no joy on that front.
IRL horses can swim; confirmed by a veterinarian and YouTube videos. Also, there’s a number of coastal islands (Assateague Island is one, if I remember correctly) where the native horse population swam ashore from a shipwreck. Ponies probably can; I would think they’d be more hesitant to get out on a lake if they couldn’t.
Gormane Park is a ponified Manhattan Park; Highbridge is a Manhattan Park; I couldn’t resist adding Trotski Park.
Back before WW2, my grandfather was in what would become the ROTC. I’m not sure what his actual job was, but it involved working with the mules which pulled the artillery pieces. He called the three teams of mules the ‘lead team,’ ‘swing team,’ and ‘wheel team.’ I’m not sure if that’s the common phrase used these days. Also, conventional harness tack is really complicated. Pictures don’t do it justice.
The Pennsylvania Railroad used an inductive radio system for a while (called the Trainphone system), which used lineside telegraph wires or the track itself to transmit the signal.
The Edmund Fitzgerald sank fast enough that the crew probably didn’t know it was sinking until they found themselves underwater. It’s possible that they did attempt to radio for help, but had already lost their antennas. The two lifeboats were likely ripped out of their davits as the ship went under; to my knowledge they were the largest parts of the ship recovered.
“Whatever happened is so far beyond our pay grade that they’ll brainwash us or something so we don’t even know who we are anymore.”
I tried and tried to come up with a better metaphor. In desperation, I asked a buddy, who’s a genius for mixing metaphors. He suggested, “they’ll be sh--ing bricks like a small horse on a trampoline.” I didn’t use that.
Arc burns are seriously bad news. DON’T look up images in Google; you don’t want to know. Most electrical burns cause internal damage rather than external.
I’ve never read Wuthering Heights, but for some reason the Ponyville hospital reminds me of the book.
If you didn’t guess, the doctors now have a gun.
This chapter had the largest number of ‘outtakes’ of any I’ve written so far: discounting spelling corrections, there are about six thousand words that got dropped during the editing process. Thus the long delay.
To Forestall Criticism: It’s commonly portrayed in HiE fics that the ponies find a mostly-hairless mammal unusual. In fact, it’s a fairly common cliche (it looked like a shaved Diamond Dog!). The fact is, most mammals are largely covered in fur. Yes, there are exceptions--walruses, whales, dolphins, elephants, rhinos, hippos, naked mole rats, to name a few--but. . . . how many of them would the ponies have seen? It’s reasonable to assume that there are dolphins in Equestria, at least: Sea Swirl’s cutie mark’s a pretty good indicator. So, why was Dr. Goodall--the VET--curious about the lack of hair? Why did I make that choice?
Two reasons. First, given the level of technology and scientific research we’ve seen in the show, I decided that their taxonomic system isn’t on par with our own. I doubt that they class aquatic mammals the same as land mammals, especially ones that more resemble fish than ferrets.
Second, I can’t imagine that they have zoos. Given that large mammals are generally depicted in canon as being at the very least sapient enough to be capable of speaking (cows, sheep) or on par with the ponies (mules, buffalo, zebras), the concept of locking such animals in cages for public amusement would be abhorrent to the ponies.
Thus, it’s reasonable to assume that Dr. Goodall doesn’t know dolphins, whales et al are mammals, and she probably only has read of the various African (or Zebrican) mammals that are furless; therefore the conclusion that a furless creature must come from a tropical climate is perfectly reasonable.
Fortunately, we’ve got a pretty good grasp of why humans alone lost their fur, so Dale can explain. It’s because . . . oh, wait, there’s actually no scientific consensus on how it happened (although interestingly, the when it happened is generally agreed upon).
Since y’all have read this far, I’m in need of a forensic metallurgist or an archaeological metallurgist. So, if you happen to be one, drop me a PM. I’d love to chat. I also would like to bounce some ideas off a psychologist who has experience with ASD.
This story is so accurate that it's ridiculous. Really, you go above and beyond, and the best part about all of this is that it's just fanfiction. It's not even a real novel. That's real dedication, and I appreciate that.
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If I don't put in the work in fanfiction, I'll never do it in a real novel (as if!).
Plus, I HATE jumping to conclusions. I hated it before the Internet was popular, and I hate it even more now.
I am willing to give a go at proof reading.
1242677
Duly noted. I'll keep it in mind! Any particular specialties?
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I am decent at normal editing. Being a second set of eyes for spelling, grammar and spacing is rather easy. I do have a decent general knowledge and I am very familiar with the tropes of MLP.
EDIT: I do not rely only on spell check or replacement commands to find these errors. I have found too many people put too much stock in those and later find a lot of errors in their work. To have a higher quality it is better to go through and change things personally so it comes out alright.
I am capable of checking for any perceived consistencies in the story if you want. So far everything is looking good.
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A second set of eyes never hurts. You're right, you can't rely on spellcheck for homonyms and cut-and-paste is a frightening weapon if misused.
Since you're reading the blog post, you already know how much effort I put into research; I'm also obsessive about continuity errors (maybe too many years of theatre). The only major one is Twilight's astronomy professor in an early chapter is also Clopurnicus (haven't gone back and fixed it yet); I'm probably also inconsistent about capitalizing (or not) diamond dogs. Occasional British spellings sneak in, too; most of my pre-readers (and myself) have read so much British lit that they just slide by.
As I said to another of my pre-readers, I'd rather have you call me an idiot before I publish than have a hundred people lambaste me in the comments.
Applejack mentions a zoo in Applebuck Season.
Fluttershy's part of the Crystal Empire History song mentions a "petting zoo filled with tiny ewes."
1244424
Well . . . fair enough, I suppose. I do remember the crystal ewes, now that you mention it.
I'll keep that in mind for the future. Still, I can't imagine that their zoos would be like our zoos (especially like our zoos were in the Victorian era....)
Humans do have fur, in fact, we have the same amount of fur as a chimp. It's just that our hairs have thinned and atrophied to such a degree that it barely registers until you get up close with a magnifying glass or jewel's loupe.
It also doesn't help that women have a penchant to ripping their's off with hot wax or burning the follicles with lasers. Owch. Kinda makes me wonder what painful torture in the name of beauty and fashion mares go through... especially Rarity.
(It would be an interesting mental exercise to puzzle out, no?)
I was wondering when the next chapter would be, so I read the blog post. knowing the quality of your work we know you probably won't go on hiatus, but I did enjoy the extra bits you put here. :)
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thanks! I started out just putting in references to other fanfiction that inspired me (and was occasionally alluded to), but figured that people might enjoy reading a little "behind the scenes," as it were.
The next chapter is almost done--pre-readers have it, and I'm about to sit down in my new editing armchair and run through my final working draft.
I'd like to publish this weekend. I've got work this evening, and a twelve-hour shift tomorrow, but I'm free all day Monday.
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That's true enough, although of course it varies by individual. I don't think the dispersal pattern is quite the same, either, even if the average number of hair follicles and follicles/square inch are about the same.
In this case, the ponies are dealing with a pair of humans who have:
--had all the exposed hair flash-burned off their bodies, and
--a woman who is likely to have removed some or all of the visible hair on her body, and
--an older man who probably has thinning hair on his head and thickening hair in his ears.
Initial observations from the ponies would indicate that the humans were 'mostly furless,' and it will not doubt confuse them as Kate begins to grow hair back where there wasn't any before, and no medical reason to explain its absence.
1335505
Indeed, ponies are dealing with damaged goods. I would hope the more professional scientific ponies take this into account. While it would be a boon to the academic community to have a human child be born and raised to observe a proper lifespan, I kind of doubt that'll happen.
As to the curious lack of fur, and the eventual regrowth of an impressive mane on top, Kate is not a mute (an assumption she will be conscious enough to communicate decently) and certainly between the two humans, they can explain why their coats are so bizarre.
1335919
Kate does still have her "impressive mane," as it was protected by her hat. Given the language barrier, for the present, Kate can only communicate effectively with Dale. Even after significant progress is made in language, I'm not entirely sure that either Kate or Dale would know enough about homo sapiens evolutionary history to give an answer that would fully satisfy someone like Twilight, especially since scientists haven't really reached a consensus on the topic.
It's not somewhere I really wish to take this story; on the other hand, all the required parties for making a human child are present.
1336121
Ah, I was thinking she had her head hair flashburned off too. And all the talk about the electrical burns, I think the word everyone's missing is "cooked". Still, while humans apparently interfere with magic, I have to wonder if potions will work on them? This is so her hand can be saved rather than lopped off-- everything seems to be pointing towards that sad result.
And that's if they both don't loose it after waking up in the land of magic unicorns and rainbows... which has happened and now we wait to see if the cheese slips off his cracker.
Pinkie Pie might not be the best pony in regards to remaining sane...
Oh! Almost forgot to ask, what about BonBon? I seem to recall there was a note left that said if three red flares go up, run... run like the wind and don't look back. The flares did go off but the world didn't end in a battle with aliens so. Hmm.
p.s. Not to pick nits but he's kinda old to be siring children. It's possible but the chance of anything growing is unlikely at his age. And I'm pretty sure the woman will balk just on general principals.
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The ponies are certainly hoping so: that's why they also brought in Zecora for a consult. Realistically, of course, a drug would do nothing to fix dead flesh; however, Zecora fixed AB's broken tooth with a potion, so to the ponies it's a plausible outcome.
I haven't forgotten about BonBon.
Maybe, but Zecora might have a potion for that, too. There's no biological limit on male fertility, although like everything else, as time passes, things don't work as well as they used to. Dale's in pretty good health, so he'd probably be all right there. Honestly, I think that both of them would balk if they were told that they had to produce a child for research purposes. Maybe I'll write a slightly-disturbing comedic side-story with that theme. I can just imagine Twilight researching human mating habits, and setting up a lab with a nice dinner and a bottle of wine, maybe some flowers . ..
Exactly what I was thinking of. The potion is more than a simple drug, it acts like magic in a way, regrowing a missing tooth (cartoonishly). While I doubt a 'simple' potion could regrow a hand, I'm thinking one might regenerate damaged but still-existing tissues. Maybe several over a period of time? Used in conjunction with healing magic [at the hospital], she might not loose it after all. Having that book on human anatomy is a godsend for the doctors working on her.
And I did catch the details when Redheart was pawing at his wounds, the areas tingling, and then he felt a little better. Was that Earth pony magic? (I thought that detail was exceptionally neat)
Oh god, the awkward levels are over 9000!
Poor Twilight. Then again, I've read a few awkward not-quite-clop fics of Twilight attempting to date and "the scientific method" or "I read it in a book method" screws everything up hilariously.
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If you haven't read it, Estee's "On the Application of Time and Motion..." is one of the best Twilight-studying-romance things I've read.
That was. Earth ponies are good at growing things, and the magic primarily flows through their hooves. Did you notice that besides listening for his heartbeat, she also touched the side of his hip and the bottom of his foot with her hoof?
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I was half expecting her to use her hoof rather than the little rubber mallet on his knee to test for reflexes, heh. Then I remembered he was not in for a check-up.
I was also waiting for Rarity to start hopping around in a circle going "Yesyesyesyes!" like Twilight when she figured out what the cut up clothing was. Hopefully he'll get his pants back from her without them getting too embellished.
I was a little unclear on how exactly the magic armor the guards wear works. Does it actually change their physical sex, or just make it appear that it has changed?
Furthermore, are the guards mostly male?
1861342
It just makes their appearance change. I would think that if it actually changed their sex, that would be pretty traumatic.
All the Royal Guards are. The auxiliary guard is mixed gender.
1861386
All right then. Why do you think it is that all the royal guards are male?
1861409
Several reasons. First, they're all male in the show, so even before I thought of appearance-changing armor, I was already thinking of them as male. Second, in real herds, it's the stallion who defends the herd (which goes against Xenophillia, BTW), although he follows the directions of the lead mare (in this case, Celestia), making it a natural arrangement for them. Third, un-allied stallions--ones who don't have a herd of their own--often form 'bachelor bands.' So, we have evidence from the show that they're probably all male, and that also falls in line with how real-life horses behave.
To put a historical perspective on it, my rough guess would be in the pre-unification days, pegasus mares were the firghters--something that's continued with the Wonderbolts (now about 50/50 genderwise), but IIRC the training camp was largely mares trying out. Earth ponies probably used the model of stallions protecting the herd (which would have lowered the number of stallions, most likely),and unicorns would have just relied on their magic, since they have always been able to kill by remote. That's just an off-the-hip guess, though, so don't read too much into it. I literally thought of it just now.
1861446
My personal thoughts are that the guard are mostly mares and that the armor changes them to look like stallions. However, there would probably be a higher proportion of stallions in the guard than in the general population because military service is a common way for marginalized groups to get ahead.
Now as to why they would want their military to look like stallions, in ancient times very few stallions would be involved in warfare, probably due to cultural reasons. However, the few who were were highly prized for their strength and endurance and so became a sign of prestige and power. A clever unicorn figured out how to enchant armor so that your average mare would look like a beefy stallion, and the rest is history.
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That certainly can tie in with what we've seen on the show, as well as actual horse behavior and actual human behavior.
Here’s a bit of headcanon. Kinda rough, but I was thinking about it at work.
We’ll go back before unification. As I mentioned before (I think), the earth ponies are closest to earth horses. There, the stallions protect the farm, and they lived in herds on those farms, while the pegasi mares were the aggressive ones. When food scarcity began to be a problem, the pegasi would raid earth pony farms to get food. The stallions didn’t like that, since they needed the food for their own kin, so they began to defend their farms. Before too long, the stallions had begun to form bands, to protect all the farms from pegasi. At that time, they adopted uniforms which concealed their identity--much like ninjas, samurai, the Immortals, etc. Probably, they’re just painting their coats.
Sooner or later, the pegasi became desperate enough to attack en masse. At that point, the earth pony stallions defended, and won handily. So, to the pegasi, legends began circulating about the undefeatable army of stallions; naturally, the earth pony stallions were only too eager to encourage those rumors.
Fast forward a few more years. Now we’re into the heart of the schism between the three tribes, and it’s devolved into outright war (my headcanon). Neither the earth ponies nor the pegasi are strong enough to take the unicorn strongholds by themselves, but Celestia and Luna convince them that if they join forces, they’ll be strong enough. There are also a number of unicorn deserters, joining them, too. The earth ponies, strong and loyal as they are, have already formed a guard unit which protects Celestia wherever she goes. By now, they’ve adopted a white scheme, since it matches Celestia’s coat, maybe with a blue mane and tail, to honor Luna. They’re wearing modified pegasi armor.
Let’s suppose that Celestia’s forces lay siege to the biggest Unicorn stronghold. They’ve probably taken down several of the smaller ones. Now, the unicorns counterattack, and are handily repulsed by a group of identical soldiers. No matter how many they strike down, more keep on coming. Legends of the soldiers grow, and after an eventual peace, they become a tradition. Now, with the help of the unicorns, the armor is enchanted to make the wearers look like the forces which first protected Celestia.
Or, here’s a much shorter alternate explanation. As Equestria grew, there weren’t enough stallions (I’ll call them white-coated ensigns, in honor of Star Trek) to fill out the ranks. Celestia long ago took the best and brightest of her recruits and . . . dunked them in the Mirror Pool. Since the ponies apparently have no problem wiping out mirror pool clones, Celestia can send wave after wave of her own stallions at any problem without losing any sleep.
1863608
It's interesting to see how differently we think about world building. I don't intend any disrespect by that, just pointing out that we seem to come to the same conclusions by very different means.
1864792
I'm not particularly beholden to any one idea, myself. Obviously, I'll stick with one idea for a story (like this one), but have no problem talking a different path in a different story.
1864800
I mean that you often come up with very practical and logical reasons why the ponies do what they do, while I tend to explain things because of culture without necessarily providing any sort of rational for these actions.
1864808
From a storytelling view, it's often better to have an idea how something came about--at least, that's my thought. Of course, you're talking to a guy who reads NTSB accident reports in his free time. I guess I've always wanted to know 'why,' and in a story, I can supply that.
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I meant that we come up with a different "why" founded in our different preconceptions about the world.
1864825
Well, yes, there is that. Sometimes I wonder if some of the writers of the show think about things like this, or if that's just too much to worry about. Maybe they do it instinctively.
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Maybe, one of the things about preconceptions is that we often don't notice them.
1864838
That's true, but I've always felt I've been pretty good about questioning myself, too--although I am in no way perfect. Not by a long shot.
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All right then.