5 Ways Equestria Girls Can Avoid Sucking · 11:25pm Jun 8th, 2013
With only about 1 week left before it hits the red carpet, their are a bunch of conflicting emotions about this movie. Some think this movie will be good, some think it will be god awful. I'm more in the "they better be glad they let Spike talk otherwise I would personally destroy all their tapes" group (and that makes up the majority of people). But what I'm going to do now is not state whether I think this will be good or bad, but instead list off 5 ways this movie can avoid sucking:
1. Give Spike the Best Writing
Not because he's my favorite character (which he is), but because his concept is the one that made most livid about this movie. The humans were meh but as long as they at least kept most of their personalities intact. No one was cool with Spike dog. Even if you think you were you were lying to yourself. It was like saying you were cool with getting coal for Christmas or cool with playing Sonic 06 all the way through. So, in order to offset that hate, they better damn well give this pooch the best damn writing out of all of them! If he isn't even half decently written, there will be a lot of sore fans.
2. Explain the Mirror/Dimensional Thing
In practically every fiction that played with dimensions, there were always constants and variables. Things that changed, and things that remained the same. If a key component wasn't there, then the universe couldn't exist....so how can EG's world exist without Twilight or Spike existing there in human/dog form before the FIM versions did? Wouldn't that mean that universe never existed? Why does Celestia have a mirror to that world anyways? These and probably more questions need to at least be partially answered so this won't be a train wreck. I would also like to know why the hell the other 5 didn't follow Twilight in, but ever since season 3 where they tried to OP Mary Sue Twilight, I think I know my answer.
3. Don't Make Flash Sentry An Edward
I cannot stress this enough! If Flash is going to be a romance, fine. But make him interesting! The last thing we need is a generic, high school cheese ball romance that amounts to him being a Gary Stu. I don't want to see teenage love drama in this movie, and by god if there is a romance, and it's a worse love story then Twilight, I will have officially lost faith in humanity!
4. Hasbro...Please Act Like You Give A Damn
It's obvious why this film was made...hell, it was obvious that they were just using it to compete with things such as Monster High. But for the love of all that is holy in writing, please act like you gave two shits about the movie and at least tried to make something good. Companies have to compete yes, but doing so in the laziest fashion is unacceptable in my opinion. UNACCEPTABLE!! I won't even care if the movie bombed as long as there is legit evidence that this was thought out and they tried...past the first 10 minutes.
5. Take The "So Bad It's Funny" Route
If this movie is so damn horrible that it turns out funny, I will probably enjoy it. Believe it or not, movies like The Room, Troll 2, and Birdemic have a following because of how genuinely bad they were in everything they did. Camera, acting, and story alike were all atrocious. EG is already going down the wrong path with decent animation and voice work, but if the story is the biggest pile of garbage yet can make you laugh, it might be enjoyable. So yeah, one of the ways not to suck is to suck so hard you'll enjoy it.
So what do you guys think? Any other ways this can avoid being the worst thing in the fandom?
So bad it's funny? you mean like this:
or this:
OR THIS
And here I thought there was only one: cancellation.
Guess there's hope yet
my reaction to the trailer
If anything the diamond dogs should be dogs. Not a dragon.
Sadly, it did none of these things. Flash Sentry was a cornball romance, Spike only got two quoteworthy lines, the writing was lousy, etc.
But I think what's worse is how utterly uncritical the fandom was. It seemed a huge majority were completely in love with this pile of dreck and trashed anyone who had the temerity to say "I didn't like it". I'm surprised they're not carving idols of the show's writers and making sacrifices to them.