Sonic Reviews: My Little Pony Friendship is Magic fan fiction: "How the Heart Burns" by thehalfelf · 12:05am Jun 3rd, 2013
Link to story:"How the Heart Bunrs" by thehalfelf.
THIS IS A SPOILER FREE REVIEW, for anyone who has yet to read this story.
Before we begin, here's the official reviewing scale for fan fictions.
1. The plot.
2. Characterizations.
3. Detail.
4. "Is this a good story/ Is it worth my time?"
5. Anything else I feel needs to be mentioned.
With that said, let's go.
Basic plot summary:
A young Cadence, daughter of the rulers of the Crystal Empire. As the daughter of the rulers, any stallion who wishes to be in a relationship with Cadence must seek approval from her father.
One such stallion, is one of Equestrian blood. Sombra.
The story details Cadence's and Sombra's dates, as well as personal lives and conflicts with other civilizations.
My only real gripe about the plot is the big twist at the end. It sorta comes in out of no where. That or I'm blind. There's some build up, yes, and it took me by surprise, but it comes in outta left field.
Characterization:
The style of the story works for the overall narrative, but does it work with the characters?
For the most part, yes. We see who Cadence is. We see her thoughts.
As for anyone else though, not so much.
Who is Sombra? We only get a basic look at who he is, and why he does what he does. As for Cadence's parents, we don't find out anything about them.
Detail:
This is a tough part for this story. The style of it doesn't leave much detail, and doesn't need it. You don't need the detail of the Harry Potter series, you just need a basic run-through, and you go right back to the story, and that's the way I like it.
My only complaint about this style, is, as I mentioned before, the characterization of anyone but Cadence. While it isn't a really huge deal, it's something that really bugged me as I read it, and made me feel empty in a way. Again, not a huge problem, but I hope this will be improved upon in the sequels.
Now, is this story good and worth your time?
For the love of God, YES. I went into this story with high hopes. It completely took what I wanted, smashed it to pieces and gave me an even better story. This story shouldn't take you more then a couple of hours to complete. And when you do, you're left wanting more.
And as I don't really have anything else to say...
I give "How the Heart Burns" by thehalfelf a 4/5. An awesome story, but falls short on characterization of anyone but Cadence.
With that, I'm Sonic Mario3, and I'll see you guys tomorrow for...
Sonic Reviews: Dexter Season One: "Dexter".
The story says incomplete.
Wha?
1121151 I dunno what that's for. But that's the first story in a trilogy.
1121154
You might want to tell him.
1121167 I will.
1121167>>1121169
It's marked incomplete because Alex had to post if quickly before rushing down the stairs to work 30 goddamn hours in 3 days. I'll fix it now.
OH, and the twist is a big twist, yes, and it might come out of nowhere. But there are clues. Go back and read it again now that you know what happens, and I guarantee a lot of the things said take on double meanings now.
1121169
Also probably a good idea to mention your major gripes with the story are simply because of the perspective. I was going to a first person stream-of-consciousness, which basically means if the character would think it, it's there. The story is really less about the story and other characters, but more about Cadence and her reactions.
Yeah, the other two will be the same way. Deal with it, I guess.
1121368 Uh.... You kinda posted that same comment nine times....
I mentioned that it was because of the perspective. The story is good as a whole, and I'm glad I read it. I mentioned that it was only because of the style and not because of your writing.
1121422
I'm not sure why it duped like that, but whatever. and I know, I was just giving a little more of a concrete reasoning. That's not to say I won't try to mess with it a bit in the next two entries. We'll just have to wait and see. Gonna clear off the backlog a bit first, know what I mean?