Mar
14th
2013
You know what? I'm just gonna come out and say it. · 5:43pm Mar 14th, 2013
I'm sad.
I'm really, really sad.
Right now, if the word "sorrow" was inscribed on every single one of the trillions of cells that make up my body, it would not even come close to just how sad I feel right now.
I haven't really felt happy in months. Not since my grandfather died.
It honestly feels like I'm never going to be happy again.
Lots of things just aren't fun anymore.
I don't know what to do.
And I'm starting not to care what happens to me.
And that scares me.
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Dusty the Royal Janitor · 210 views
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Talk about this to your family, your friends, and/or whoever else is close to you. Know that you are respected in this community and we only wish you the best. If it is feasible, consider therapy.
918304
I just feel like such a burden. I don't want to bring it up with my mother, grandmother, uncle, or aunt, because they're obviously hurting so much more than me. They knew him longer than I did. I don't even want to try and imagine how much they must hurt right now. They don't need me worrying them with my petty emo problems and making it worse.
My sister has her own problems, and for some reason she's not speaking to me at the moment. And I have no idea why. And that does WONDERS for my self-esteem let me tell you. It also scares me because she's been clinically diagnosed with major depressive disorder for years now.
My father sucks at talking like a human being.
I've been talking to my friends but it still hurts. Every day it hurts. I can barely even eat or sleep anymore it just hurts so much.
As for this fandom... I think I've been generally hated ever since I started expressing opinions on Alicorn Twilight. My opinions may have been tinted by this sorrow in the first place, but it's too late now.
I have no idea where I would even start with therapy. I just feel so hopeless.
918333
I have no answers for most of this, but there is one thing I can say confidently. Your opinions on Alicorn Twilight aren't making you hated. Disagreement does not preclude harmony. I, for one, disagree with you but still read your blog posts interestedly.
I'm not that great with words but here I go anyway. I had to cope with the loss of my grandma and I've grieved over her death for a while. I couldn't imagine how hurt my grandpa was after my grandma died. But even after what happened, he still manages to smile every time I say hello to him. Even before her death I've known that people will die at some point of their life. You can't do anything to change that and I knew that I couldn't do anything to help her. If I could, I would give up my life to save her, but life doesn't work that way. Death is inevitable and will happen to everyone, just like my friend who had just reached college before dying. Sorry for sounding pessimistic but what I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't let your loss ruin all happiness in your life. Talk to your family. At least then they know they aren't the only ones who are hurt and you can all face this hard time in your life together.
There is one technique that has helped me in the past to deal with traumatic experiences - Expressive Writing. Just writing about an experience might give you a much better way to contextualize and process it. Talking with friends (ie people untrained in psychology) has been shown to not be effective when dealing with trauma, while there are studies to support the notion that putting your deep, inner thoughts to paper can be very beneficial.
If you have any questions, or need any help just PM me and I'll try to do whatever is within my means.
music has saved me a few times, try that.
the suggestions of writing down how you feel are also not bad either.
918333 Know that you are loved and that you are not alone. You have friends that are willing to help you through this. Remember that your Grandfather probably wouldn't want you or your family to brood endlessly about his death. He'd more likely want you all to find a way to get back to what you do best after a while. Find a way past this event. You don't have to forget it but don't let it drag you down. Look to the future. I hope for the best for you and your family and many others do as well. I feel confident that you can.
1. Talk to people, yes it's awkward and nerve raking but letting it build up is gonna hit you all the harder down the road
2.
The people who scream and rant about this stuff and put you down about it are the yellow and black colored slush on an otherwise very nice iceberg. Trust me, people like that are a part of any fandom. Don't let them get you down just because you expressed an honest and mature opinion.