• Member Since 15th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Apr 7th, 2019

The Sentient Cloud


I'm The Sentient Cloud, a now-retired fanfiction writer from New Zealand. If you're looking at this, then you've probably already found your way to either "The Piano Man" or "Those Who Came Before".

More Blog Posts41

  • 340 weeks
    All Clouds Dissipate (Retirement)

    Catchy title, right? Right. Moving on:

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  • 372 weeks
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    Some of you may have noticed a large lack of... well, anything, recently.

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  • 383 weeks
    Updates on /everything/

    Okay, so as a little note: I am still around, and I am still working on the final Piano Man Chapter.
    But, that brings me to an interesting point, that being; I'm not entirely sure I'll keep writing for FIMFiction once it's over. I'm not saying I won't, but it's a possibility.

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  • 388 weeks
    Hard at Work

    I know I've been very quiet update-wise as of late, so I feel it's best that I put up a quick blog post.

    As per normal, Those Who Came Before is still on hiatus until I've put out these last two Piano Man chapters. I just felt I should reaffirm that. The first of the two-part epilogue for The Piano Man: Act II is close to completion too. I apologize for the long wait.

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  • 394 weeks
    Google "The Piano Man"

    Every now and then, I Google my stories, just to see how far down the list they pop up. Obviously, The Piano Man has never been high on the search results unless you include 'FIMfiction' in the search bar.

    But...

    Seriously. What.
    WHAT.

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    17 comments · 837 views
Dec
31st
2012

New Year's Update · 11:12am Dec 31st, 2012

Well, New Zealand just ticked over to 2013. The rest of you will have to wait a little longer. Either way; happy New Year. With the holiday season over, I can get back to work.
Now, onto updates:

Those Who Came Before: Chapter two is all but finished. Expect a release within the next two-three days.

The Piano Man: Next chapter is on its way. It had been delayed by the holiday season and writer's block, which I am finding myself more and more afflicted-with as of late.

Report The Sentient Cloud · 596 views ·
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Comments ( 6 )

Happy New Year!

Also, yaaay updates.

Happy New Year to ya TSC! I've started drinking a little early (shame on me, I have work in eight hours) so I'll raise a glass in your honor sir. Its a Glenlivet 18 year single malt so I assure you it is almost as good a quality as the stories you post here. Stay safe and don't get too plastered celebrating. :pinkiesmile:

Happy new years to all and woot updates!

Do some sentient cloud-computing and continue TWCB ASAP!

Well I hope your new year went well (mine involved me, a bed, and severe coughing fits, clogged nasal passages, and a sore throat). Anyways, in regards to the Piano Man II story, I have some questions that might help you decide how to go forward. (Note: this is going to be a lengthy post) What is Equestrian law based on and how is Trixie's case being tried? Is her case a civil case, criminal case, federal case, or international case? I ask this because depending on how the law is structured, I hate to say this but Trixie may very well win her trial. As of now, from what is there as evidence I can think of three defense arguments for Trixie that could potentially get her off.

Argument 1: Because Keyes is a foreign being, Trixie was simply taking him to Canterlot to see the princesses on how best to deal with the situation. As for the money issue, because they lacked adequate funds to reach Canterlot, Trixie had him play the piano in order to raise money for the trip and a portion of the funds his playing earned was used to cover food and other living expenses for the both of them.
Argument 2: Rarity, Cadence, and Twilight Sparkle are guilty of crimes against Trixie. Although Trixie may or may not have been committing a crime before its discovery, Cadence, Rarity and Twilight did commit the crime of trespassing and unauthorized entry into another pony's property. Just because Cadence is a princess and Twilight is Celestia's favorite student and Rarity a friend of both and Trixie's wagon is sitting on royal grounds does not excuse them from asking her permission before entering her home. Therefore, because of their actions, Trixie's resulting actions can be viewed as defending of her home, which is destroyed in the process. In addition, any evidence after the fact loses much of its credibility since any of the three witnesses could have fabricated evidence in the time they were there.
Argument 3: If the princesses or any pony related to the mane six attempt to become judge, prosecution, or jury for the case, then the case becomes grounds for a mistrial. As a result of Cadence, Rarity, and Twilight's actions, Celestia and Luna cannot oversee the case as they would have a personal vested interest in wanting to see Trixie guilty. While they could oversee it and even make laws guaranteeing that they could, a precedent is now set to where the law could very well lose its meaning (i.e. cause all laws to become pointless as every trial becomes a kangaroo court). This is very true for Celestia as two of the ponies involved have close relationships with her (Cadence is family and Twilight is her personal student). Her involvement in any capacity outside of an observer would jeopardize the case. Luna might be able to get away with being a prosecutor but it would be a difficult argument to make. In addition, any jury that is summoned would heavily favor the defense since it would be a jury consisting of ponies and creatures from Equestria with knowledge of Equestria, with little to no prior knowledge of humans outside of their cousins (i.e. apes and monkeys and that can of worms is best left closed as it could easily win the defense's case by virtue of basically calling Keyes a pet and that the only crime Trixie committed is negligence and abuse which may earn her jail time but no where near as long as one would like). This too is grounds for a mistrial as there would be no way for the prosecution to fairly try Trixie.

Now I could go further with several more arguments but that's not the point. The point I am making is that it is important that the audience knows something in regards to Equestrian Law and how it affects this case; otherwise the potential for the audience to lose their suspension of disbelief starts to increase. This could be a sentence, a paragraph, or a chapter; it doesn't matter, ultimately it needs to be there. If it is not there, then tons of argument holes appear and the resolution comes off as cheap and tensionless as there was never any reason for Keyes or the audience to be concerned that Trixie would get off only would we see her dangling from a rope or screaming revenge from behind a set of bars. Please do no take this as to mean that I would like to see Trixie get off with nothing more than a slap on the hoof. I would like to see justice done for all involved, however; what is just and what is fair are very often not the same. It would be very easy to see Trixie suffer horribly for what she has done but would that make the heroes any better than she is, would the law still hold meaning if they sunk to her level? Before I conclude there are two other things to consider, Trixie's emotional and physical state and Keyes emotional state. Right now, we know very little of how Trixie feels or even is. For all we or even Keyes knows, Trixie could be an emotionless drone right now that is blankly staring at a wall because her horn is gone or its been replaced but she cannot do magic anymore (a fact that would more than likely destroy her more than any legal punishment would) making any trial and subsequent punishment nothing more than pouring salt in an already burning wound. This could very well not be the case and she could be the usual pain that she normally is only with something else to complain about. Or it could be something in between the two. Knowing something of Trixie's mental or physical state would give us an idea of how justified is Keyes' attitude toward her. Which brings me to my next point, Keyes' mental state. I highly doubt his physical condition would hamper his ability to testify should he have to, his mental state, however; is a different story. We have already seen glimpses that indicate that Keyes may not be in the best mental state to stand trial. He has night terrors and is easily angered. In addition, there are signs of heavy mental stress and latent anger and mistrust of and against ponies in general as a result of his recent ordeal. His own suicide attempt and the recent dreams regarding said attempt are proof that his mind is in a precarious state. Could he face seeing Trixie again without wanting to slit her throat right then and there and could he live with any verdict passed to resolve her case? If his recent interaction with her family is any indication, the answer to that is a big no. He lost it when they tried to talk him out going through with the trial. So my question now is how will you handle that? If you make him a saint then he loses his believability and credibility as a character, however equally true is if you make him a raving lunatic. Just somethings to consider as you try to get through your writers block that I hope helps. Again, sorry for the length of the post but these were some thoughts that came to me as I re-read the previous two chapters. Good luck with what ever you decide to do.
-Midnight Nightscape

691134 Thanks for posting such a well-written comment. I love these things.
...
And that's why I'm going to be an ass and just refer you to my new blog post.

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