Lunaverse Reviews Block 7 · 12:50am Dec 31st, 2012
Some more of these got done, so it's time to take a look at them again. Let's go to it, then.
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Story 8: Where There is Smoke
Written By: Fizzy Orange
SYNOPSIS:
Corona frees her old pet, Philomena, and unleashes her upon Ponyville. It's up to Pokey Pierce to stab this case in the heart before all of Ponyville burns to the ground...
REVIEW:
Despite being the second appearance of Corona, most of the story is played entirely for laughs, with Pokey Pierce and Trixie playing detective roles in uncovering just what is setting Ponyville on fire. And in this regard, it's absolutely hilarious. The two characters work off each other very well, and the mystery is actually well-paced and interesting, even if you know from the beginning what the answer is. It also helps set up several other attributes of the setting, such as Corona's volcano lair, Raindrops in tears over “killing” Philomena on accident, and Pokey Pierce being an awesome and underused character. The ending, while a bit anticlimactic, works well enough, although the way it characterizes Philomena kind of doesn't fit with what we've seen in the show or what's implied to happen with Luna and all that. It's...a complicated criticism.
Two things that aren't complicated need to be addressed, however. First, the story opens with Spike going into Kaiju mode and killing another dragon...bloodily. I know I'm the guy who had a pony skin his best friend and mail his pelt to Celestia and had Discord mutilate and permanently cripple her, but seriously, that scene was rather disturbing to read and sticks out like a sore thumb next to everything else. And second, the story took so long to finish that one of the plot points ultimately never played itself out. There's a secondary story with Blueblood sending an auditor to see whether or not Ponyville's really suffering as many disasters are are being reported, which was meant to tie into the original plans for the Gala story. And then Greengrass became the Big Bad, those plans were thrown out, and we got to have 100+ comment wars over a plot point that may or may not happen.
OVERALL RATING: Good
Outside of the opening, I actually rather enjoyed this story. And as much as the group seems to not want it, I would like to see Pokey Pierce investigating again in the next season.
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Webisode: Fishing in the Dark
Written By: Grass&Clouds2
SYNOPSIS:
At some unspecified point during/after “At the Grand Galloping Gala,” Night Light visits Fisher to discuss how much Trixie sucks and revel in their future plans to destroy her. I think we're supposed to like them.
REVIEW:
It's rather difficult to talk about this one without going into detail about AtGGG, but I will say that this story's attempt to make Night Light and Fisher more likable and want us to keep them around...doesn't work for me. At all.
If you haven't read the main fic yet, sorry, but Night Light pretty much screws a town over to get revenge on Trixie. G&C2's solution to getting us over that? Tell us how adorable Twilight used to be, and show that Night Light loves his daughter. That would be sweet...except that's still no excuse for what he's done, no reason to overlook his actions in the slightest, and definitely not helping to make him enjoyable to read about. (Oh, we'll get to him once AtGGG finishes.) As for Fisher...he's just kind of dull, much like Greengrass. And the whole fic is just the two...talking, save for a bit at the beginning with Blueblood.
OVERALL RATING: Meh/Okay
Pushing aside my personal bias, this story isn't that bad. It does build up the characters a bit, and perhaps you'll like them a lot more than I do, but I can't help but read some rather unwelcome things into this one. If you like it, that's cool, but it just wasn't my cup of tea.
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Movie/Tie-In: The Court Musician of Equestria
Written By: Grass&Clouds2
SYNOPSIS:
Octavia decides to go to a metal concert to check out the latest celebrity in Canterlot's music scene, Thrash Metail. But as she gets drawn closer into a genre completely foreign to her, she discovers a terrible secret about this supposed superstar and, more importantly, his guitar...
REVIEW:
Much like “Family Matters” this is barely a Lunaverse story, using only the barest trappings of the setting to remind you that it's in the same universe as, say, LNLD. And that's always a good thing for me, so make of that what you will.
Most of the story is about Octavia uncovering just what kind of musician Thrash really is, along with his evil scheme to become the most famous musician in all of Equestria. As mentioned before, however, G&C2 has a very clear understanding of music, and it's all worked into this story perfectly. The final confrontation itself is basically lifted wholesale from Guitar Hero 3, and yet it's given a life of its own and fits the new situation quite well. Thrash is a great antagonist, shadowing what makes Octavia stand out and showing the dark side of the music world. (It could even be argued that he's more or less who Octavia was back in M&D, only even moreso.) Throw in an amusing subplot about court pages, and this is a very satisfying read.
OVERALL RATING: Good/Excellent
I'm not sure if I can really push this up into the upper echelons of the Lunaverse, but it's still a very good story and should be read. It's also light on the AU aspects, making it easily accessible for those who aren't keen on Celestia, say, ordering dragons to tear each other apart.
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Fanfiction 1: Dinky and the Blanks
Written By: Grass&Clouds2
SYNOPSIS:
It's “Story of the Blanks,” only with Dinky instead of Apple Bloom.
REVIEW:
This story was G&C2's first contribution to the Lunaverse. Let's just say that it shows.
Part of the problem is that it's not only a non-canon story, but also an adaptation of the fan game “Story of the Blanks.” For those who haven't played that one yet, it's about Apple Bloom following a pony into the depths of the Everfree Forest, where she discovers a seemingly prosperous town in the middle of a party populated entirely by Blank Flanks. In reality, the townponies were all cursed into becoming zombie ponies, the pony she followed was the ghost of a resident they apparently killed, and Apple Bloom has to escape. It was a pretty popular thing back during the First Pony Drought, and attracted a whole lot of continuations, alternate endings, and other assorted works.
What makes this story fall apart as an adaptation, however, is the way it handles the switch-up in setting and protagonist. The first two-thirds of the story focus entirely on Dinky, building up the tension as she discovers the town and starts to feel off. The problem is that Dinky is, to be harshly honest, a rather flat character compared to Apple Bloom. She's not even that much of a character in her own right; she's just a way to enable cuteness via Ditzy. But that pales in comparison to the biggest change of all, and one that sinks this both as its own story and as an adaptation.
“Dinky and the Blanks” isn't a horror story.
One of the things that made SotB work as well as it did was how it built tension over time, going at just the right speed before pulling the rug out from under us with the skeleton in the fire. The nighttime chase at the end was frightening both because of just how shocking it was, and because of how narrow the game made the escapes. You don't get any of that here. The reveal is handled like a casual conversation, with information that we really don't need dumped on us until it completely destroys the mood the story is supposed to be setting. It also didn't help that the town's metamorphosis was changed to the day. Daytime Horror is a real genre, and it can be done very well, but the monsters the ponies turn out to be were designed to blend in with the darkness. Doing it this way not only makes the sun out to actually be evil (when it's apparently supposed to be the pony controlling it), but also drains the story of much of its horror content.
And then there's the last few chapters, which go in a completely different direction in order to force in a happy ending, explain the curse (it's all Corona's fault, like always), and wrap things up. All this does is destroy the ambiguity of the original, once again robbing it of many of its scarier elements in favor of a rather pat ending.
OVERALL RATING (TECHNICAL): Okay
OVERALL RATING (PERSONAL): Awful
If this wasn't an adaptation, I would have been a lot nicer to it. It still would have just been “Okay,” but I wouldn't have had to dish out my second “Awful” rating so far. That being said, this story fails HARD at adapting SotB into the Lunaverse, completely disregarding the source material in favor of a more cliché, rather dull approach to the situation. Most definitely one to pass.
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More to come...when they come.
You really like reviewing stuff don't you? Will you ever get back to writing?
You did WHAT it Celestia?
"Court Musicians" sounds pretty interesting. I think I'll take a look at that one later.
Where There is Smoke looks interesting, I will have to take a look at it now that it's done.
Huh, I somehow didn't realized that Fishing in the Dark was a one shot.
663872 I would highly recommend it, G&C2 does an excellent job working the music into his stories.
I'd like to point out that I revised the opening of Where There is Smoke to remove the bloody dismemberment. I guess you missed that blog post.
Also, I too would like to write some more Pokey Pierce and Trixie mysteries.
664638: I believe we have at least one planned for S2 -- a murder mystery dinner, where team Trixie/Pokey takes on team Applejack/Carrot Top, team Pinkie/X (X might be Twilight, if she's around), and possibly a few others.
663852
...Chapter 2 of "And That's Terrible" is almost done. Chapter 2 of "Eye of the Hurricane" is 50% done. I've had very little time to actually write anything this whole month, and had to scuttle that entire holiday special just to make room for the others. Sorry if I'm sounding defensive, but I am a little teed off at the moment.
I mostly agree with your views on "where there is smoke", though yeah, Fizzy did edit the dragon scene.
I wouldn't be against Pokey investigating again, my only issue came in when it all started to be all about Pokey, early on with Trixie and Pokey playing off each other and Raindrops jumping in I loved that, I didn't enjoy it as much when Pokey became the central character near the end, though that's admittedly a paranoid and minor issue overall.
You're reviewing fanfics now?
I wonder if I should be afraid?
664848
I still have mixed feeling and concerns about the murder mystery idea especially if it involves the M!6 in main character slots. but that's me and I'll admit to maybe not knowing enough to offer a proper opinion on the matter.
665033
Oh no it's fine, I just happen to like your writing a lot and was curious.