Sickness and Pain · 3:58pm April 20th
So hey, I'm staying home for a few days again. Missing another ~week of college, after already having missed nearly a month and a half of the last... two months. That's gonna be a problem.
There isn't really anything I can do though. I fell very sick, and it only seems to be getting worse. Very severe throat inflammation, but possibly something else having to do with my ears as well - the doctors don't seem to be able to really reach a consensus in this case, and this diagnosis alone seems weirdly tame considering the symptoms. It's almost certainly nothing life-threatening regardless, but I still feel like I'm about to die. I've been losing 0.5-0.7 kilograms (about 1.1-1.55 pounds) per day, every single day for a week now and I barely want to eat. I can hear my stomach growling a lot, but I just... don't really feel like I want to consume stuff at all. Other than that? Extremely little need to use the bathroom, meaning I must be really dehydrated. Slight headaches and sore throat, voice loss, and severe hoarseness whenever I can actually speak in anything other than quiet whispers. Very frequent and intense cough, the feeling of intense weakness than prevents me from doing basically anything physical and a general "fuzziness" to the mind. Difficulty breathing. But most of all... ear pain. Extreme, head-splitting ear pain on both sides that doesn't let go even after a few days of antibiotics and tons of painkillers, and which makes me want to die on a regular basis. This single symptom has been making me stay awake all night for the last couple of days, as I just couldn't - and still can't - make either ear touch anything, including a pillow, because then the pain flares up even more, but even if that wasn't the case, the regular state would still be bad enough for me to be unable to properly rest at all; it's so severe that there's basically nothing else I can think about. I keep getting around 3 hours of non-continuous sleep per day, but strangely, I don't even feel too tired, really.
I somehow managed to go to a pharmacy again today and got the strongest painkillers they could get me without a prescription, and hey, I can say that they do work at least a bit better than the previous ones - it's possible to think now, at least. The problem with them is that it's dangerous to take more than one pill every 6-8 hours, and the effects don't last that long, so I still have to occassionally deal with the worst of the pain.
Because of all this, I can't really do things like playing videogames or watching anything because earphones or even headsets are completely out of the question. Heck, I haven't even be able to shower much over the last few days because shampoo and streaks of water both feel like a death sentence, and especially so when they're combined. What I have to do instead is use a towel wet with tap water to slowly wash myself however much I can while rapidly and constantly losing energy due to the severe fatigue problem. It's, uh, not fun.
So yeah, I've been bored. I could read, but I don't have too many interesting books left and am not really in the mood for much fanfiction, for whatever reason. I'm sure the desire to read it will soon come back, but for now, it's not really there.
However, I did recently manage to get my hands on a printed, physical copy of Horus Rising, and it just recently arrived. The book is slightly used, but bears little signs of wear and it's an official translation to my native language, which is not English, making it even rarer. I paid quite a bit for this, and it was the only offer I could find anywhere on the entire internet. I also ended up snatching an audiobook for later use, but for now, well, that's kinda out of the question. I might get to reading the thing soon. Hope the translation is good, that's what I fear the most, but it will likely be at the very least bearable.
And hey, I also ended up scribbling a small piece of OSaGA lore for my lore group. It's not finished yet, because I ran out of steam midway through, but writing it has been fun. Considering my current boredom, I might end up finishing the thing sooner rather than later, for once.
I'm not sure why I'm saying all of this here... maybe because I have little to do and want some human interaction. Maybe because at the end of the day I am a member of FimFiction who wants to let her friends and followers know what's going on. Maybe all of these and more; who knows.
But yeah, that seems to be it for today. Thank you sincerely for taking your time to read all the way to the end of this gal's ramblings.
-Lilia
Far as I'm concerned, your ramblings mean something to those who care about you. They mean something to me, at least. You're my friend, and it hurts to know that things haven't been easy for you, but I have faith that everything will turn out right in the end. Things have been going bad for me as of recently, what with a sudden case of sciatic nerve paralysis, but now I'm getting better and walking around much like I used to before it happened!
My point in all of what I said is that everything will work itself out, you just gotta keep pushing, find the strength that you use to get up every morning, and utilize that same strength to get through this. I believe in you, Lilia.
Keep fighting, and you'll stand on top, with your friends right behind you every step of the way.
It definitely sounds like an infection in the sinus and inner ear. Had them before and they suck. Hope you get better soon. We will be here when you can post.
5777600
That's what I'm thinking as well, probably coupled with a throat inflammation as well. Good news is, well, this new painkillers proved to be leagues better than the old ones, and I think the illness is slowly starting to recede, haha
5777536
Gosh, I'm so sorry to hear that, Alien! What I have right now is basically just a small inconvenience compared to nerve paralysis... I'm just glad to hear you're working through this and getting better. Really glad, actually.
I suppose you're right, though; some of the best stories are always those of people who never lose hope and push through to the very end, until they finally emerge out of the darkness plaguing them. And... I feel like part of the reason why so many of us enjoy such tales is because they are real. At the back of our heads, we know that things will eventually get better... I just wish it was easier to remember that while in the depths of despair, you know?
5777944
Thanks a bunch, Lilia, I'm actually doing so much better. My leg still feels a it sore, and its hard to straighten it up when lying down, but no one said that the road to recovery was easy. It's like I always say, 'The Road to Recovery is not one to race on'. As long as I don't freak out like I initially did, thinking I'd be paralyzed by pain forever, everything will be alright.
Though, I do have to agree that sometimes, it's not that easy to remember that it'll get easier. The mind will become so convinced that the end is nigh, you yourself start to believe it, despite the evidence that contradicts such a thought. I've always enjoyed stories, whether they be canon or fanfiction, showing the struggle of finding the way out of darkness and despair. It feels real, but the fictional elements make it intriguing to follow along. In a way, it helps the viewer/reader connect with those characters, exploring a side to them they never saw before, until that moment.