I HAVE to, or you just WANT me to? · 6:16pm March 22nd
People often go about saying... "You HAVE to move on." "You HAVE to let go." "You HAVE to Improve" "You HAVE to this" "You HAVE to that."
But here's the real deal to consider. Do I really HAVE to, or do you just WANT me to? That's the ideal.
People often say you should do things because it will benefit you, or make you better, but most of the time it really is they're just doing it for themselves rather than you.
"We're only trying to do what's best for you. they say... but really...
"No you're not! You're trying to do what's best for YOU."
People often may want you to change or do something because it makes THEM happy, and it gives them the sense of satisfaction they always wanted from you, even if you totally don't want it, like it, or agree with it, and they don't listen.
Here are some examples I see in Fiction, which also can reflect reality....
DEGRASI JUNIOR HIGH (Dinner and a Show)
Shane accidently got his classmate, Spike, (Christie) pregnant. Shane's parents are horribly ashamed and embarrassed to hear about this. His mom can't even face her Bridge Club anymore, and it's not as if they were ashamed of him before (Feeling he's not PERFECT or successful like his older brother, Carl)
They plan to put the baby up for adoption (Planning to never let him see it). Send Shane off to an all-boys private school, and convince Christie to give up the baby and go away for a while herself (Thinking she'll want time to get away)
"Look, son, we're only doing what's best for you.
"No, you're not... You're doing what's best for YOU. You want me to go away because I embarrass you; so mom can play Bridge again. I'm sorry I'm not perfect like Carl.
"No one said that." (Actually he did... in that screenshot up there)
"That's what you think/Feel!
RUSSEL "Russ" THOMPSON SR (HONEY, I SHRUNK THE KIDS)
He wants his son Russ Jr to be exactly like him in everyway (Football star, fishing, weightlifter) Even though Russ would rather be his own man.
It's a good thing Russ comes to grips with this at the end of the movie, but the point is still the same... he wants what's best for himself rather than his son.
THE MOD SQUAD (THE LOSER)
Russ Hayman (The man in the picture) He works for George Williamson who is on election to be a Superior Court Judge. One night, Russ takes Claire's (The woman in the pic) car out to do some campaigning, and he accidently runs over an old lady. Fearing that public knowledge of this would sour George's chances at winning the election (As well as his own career for serving him) Russ abandons the car, letting it roll downhill, and allows an innocent boy named Brad to take the fall for him when all Brad did was stop the car. Eventually, the victim dies from her injuries, but Brad has been cleared of the charges, yet Russ keeps trying to make him look guilty, even offering to bribe Brad with money to run away (Thus incriminating him) while trying to spare himself from facing criminal charges as well as saving his own career... all under the claims he's doing it for George to save his career.
Russ: "I had to cover; I did it for you."
George: "I don't think so, Russ... You were covering for You."
Even in my own fanfiction, I've made scenarios like that...
Davis and Kari (Digimon 02)
Kari has already been established to have a rather bratty and self-absorbed attitude in canon (She constantly flirts with TK and others to make Davis jealous to laugh at him, she doesn't seem to appreciate him much as a friend, she hardly listens to him even when has a good idea or is in the right... and she often uses his crush on her to her advantage to keep him in line)
Well, one of my recurring things for Kari is that she constantly tries to set Davis up on blind dates with her girlfriends or other girls that are interested in him, even though he repeatedly tells her to stop.
Her stative purpose is She wants him to have a girlfriend because he should have one and feel the joys of romance, and there are lots of girls out there who supposedly like him
But really, her true motive is, She knows Davis is stubbornly refusing because he still has feelings for her, and she rejected him. She wants him to have a girlfriend simply to move on and forget his crush on her, and so he can stop moping, which in turn would make her feel less guilty for hurting him.
She's only thinking more for herself again, showing she is not truly empathic towards not just Davis, but others as well.
True, Davis is only thinking about himself the way he rejects all girls, but at least he has a good reason other than just his crush on Kari (He doesn't like any of them, he doesn't want to nor HAS to learn to like any of them... and if his heart belongs to Kari, whether she wants him or not, he cannot give another girl the love she wants) He's made up his mind, and Kari ought to respect it (As least he let her be with TK and didn't try to break them up or anything)
TEEN TITANS (Yes, we're doing that)
BB is grieving over Terra dumping him, but they have no sympathy, no empathy, or care about his feelings. They up and demand for him to move on simply because they hate his moping (Despite he has every right to) They don't care how... just do it! (Their already harsh attitudes prior to these events heavily show this)
Terra tries to talk to BB again, trying to apologize for hurting him and convince him that things will be okay... if he just let's go an moves on.
Really... her remorse at hurting him has been eating away at her and affected her schoolwork and her concentration (She even has guilty nightmares) She's really hoping he'll snap out of this and move on so she can clear her conscience, and given that she dumped him and told him to stay out of her life... not caring how he did it or what happened to him as long as he did it.
And worse: Sometimes, I put Beast Boy in incriminating situations, whereas Terra was a witness and can clear his name, but she does not wish to testify, or even show herself out of fear of losing her normal life, thus she LET'S Beast Boy take the fall for something he didn't do.
She's really a selfish bitch and she along with the others are deserving of the beatings they get.
Starfire: "Beast Boy, we are your friends!"
(But given all their harsh, unjustified, and cruel treatments to him throughout the series)
BB: "With friends like you, I don't need Slade!"
Terra:"I did what I did for both of us."
BB: "No, Terra... This time, you were just plain thinking of yourself."
Even the MLP's fall into this...
TWILIGHT SPARKLE (AMENDING FENCES)
She wants to reconcile with Moon Dancer for jilting her and her party many years ago, (Which has small points in her favor) but really she's stalking, harassing and getting in her face WANTING her to give friendship a chance to clear her guilty conscience and to uphold her image as Princess of Friendship.
It's more for her sake than Moon Dancer.
PINKIE PIE (A FRIEND INDEED)
Pinkie can't seem to lay off when Cranky doesn't want to be her friend, or have any friends for that. True, Pinkie helped him, she bettered his life and all that... but the point still stands, she did it all because she wants to be friends with EVERY SINGLE PERSON, and cannot take "No" for an answer.
She did it more for herself.
...
All those scenarios and many others just like them, it's always the same... You claim you're just trying to help someone, when really you're trying to help yourself.
Even my own haters, and even myself fall into this ALL THE TIME...
My haters constantly get in my face telling me to "Leave the site" "Stop writing fanfics" or "Improve your writing" when really they don't like cynicism, negativity, or the way I write or handle things at all and want me gone.
"If you want us to stop try "Bettering yourself"
By "Bettering Myself" you mean I have change the way I do things, how I write stories, and how I go about life in a way that makes YOU happy, but I don't like or want at all.
Besides, many of them already clearly stated and showed, they won't care if even if I DO IT, some said bluntly they plan to keep mocking me anyway. So there's no point in listening to any of them.
And myself... I don't do what's best for my readers or the characters, I just do what's best for me when I write my stuff (Especially seeing as I don't like the things they like or the plots they want, and I don't care if it brings me better views) If I hate it and I'm not satisfied (Then just like you) to hell with it. (The joys, the benefits, the good things that can come my way... mean ZILTCH)
But there you have it. That's just the way it seems to be-- people looking out more for their own interests and satisfaction, even if SOMETIMES it's good for you both, it's still all the same.
DakariKingMykan,
I’m feel you, friend.😔
I’ve dealt with similar situations. It caused me to sever a lot of close friendships/family ties.
5773405
-FAKE FRIENDS are worse than having enemies
-Friends and Loved ones; if they really care about you, they'll try to help you with your pain instead of adding to it.
-Don't bother clinging to people who USE YOU, LIE TO YOU, DISRESPECT YOU, or PUT YOU DOWN
those are quotes I saw on Twitter (Advice accounts) and they're right.
5773610
What difference would it make if I got these sayings from other places? the messages are the same and I already agreed with these ideals before I even saw them.
5773622
I think that's enough of your mouthing off. You are a very rude and discourteous person, and it's people like you that give this site and the MLP fandom the toxic rep that they have.
5773622
You came here, you got in my face, and you rudely insulted Twitter and blamed me for things you don't agree with, and you call me toxic when the truth is you are. You started this, not I, but I'm ending it right here and now.
Now, be a good little boy (For once in your life) and SCRAM!!