Friendship is Card Games: Moonstuck, Pt. 8 · 1:15pm January 28th
After more than half a year of G5-engendered delays, we are finally able to return to Moonstuck, just in time for the final boss fight. Let’s throw down.
The first round is against Nightmare Woon, and Luna’s own insecurities. (Also jam, but getting the Nightmare to monologue means Luna has a chance to slip into a convenient aquifer and wash it off.) The cavalry arrives just in time to reassure Luna that she’s not alone in this fight… though the Nightmare’s mounting irritation at the princess’s refusal to give up makes sure she is. Indeed, the Nightmare gets so mad, her art style degrades.
And in the end, the solution to the problem, as is so often the case, is a boop… which reveals that the Nightmare was an animated doll this whole time.
And the one operating the puppet? Discord, of course, who’s always a sketchy character. This has been the fight against him the whole time, with Celestia already having tracked down three of the Elements of Harmony before Discord captured her. Her last act was to send Luna to seek the other three. Not so much banishing her to the moon as hurling her there in the hopes of escaping Discord’s reach.
This is a fantastic take on Discord as well, really leaning into the “Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony” angle. This draconequus isn’t Q’s fursona. He’s a primordial entity as old as the universe’s first uneven mass distribution, and he deeply resents ponykind’s efforts to impose such artificial constraints as love, friendship, and harmony on his domain (i.e. all of existence.) More than anything, he hates how much work these insignificant specks are making him actually do. The worst part of this for him (until he gets petrified) is having to acknowledge them as even worth his personal attention. It’s a fantastic take on Discord and I wish we’d gotten more of it, though it would’ve run counter to an entity that Fluttershy could win over.
In any case, several Big Damn Hero moments happen in succession, including the Elements and the ever-handy map combining to form Luna’s own Big Crown Thingy, Celestia showing up, and the comment section joining in for a triumphant “Friendship. Is. MAGIC!”
All that’s left is the epilogue. And the 10th anniversary special. And some extra bits and bobs. Suffice to say, there’s enough in the tank for one more Moonstuck blog after this. For now, let’s see what loot dropped from this boss:
Celestia’s Gambit W
Instant
Each player may exile a nonland permanent they control. For as long as that card remains exiled, its owner may play it.
Celestia put all her hope and faith in the one pony who could finish what she started: Her baby sister.
Boop the Snoot 1W
Instant
Choose target creature. If that creature is attacking and you’re the defending player, Boop the Snoot deals 4 damage to it. Otherwise, it gets +2/+2 until end of turn.
“The diplomatic approach still leaves many alternative avenues open.”
—Princess Luna
Unbreakable Determination 1W
Instant
Put a +1/+1 counter on target creature you control. It gains indestructible until end of turn.
Revolt — As long as a permanent you controlled left the battlefield this turn and Unbreakable Determination is in your graveyard, it has flashback 1W. (You may cast this card from your graveyard for its flashback cost. Then exile it.)
Drift Through Dreams 1U
Enchantment
Whenever a creature you control phases in, it can’t be blocked this turn.
1U: Target creature you control phases out. (Treat it and anything attached to it as though they don’t exist until your next turn.)
Luna would need years to understand the maneuvers she performed in moments.
Utility Changeling 2U
Artifact Creature — Equipment Shapeshifter
Equipped creature gets +2/+2.
Whenever Utility Changeling becomes attached to a creature, you may have it become a copy of another target Equipment until it becomes unattached.
Reconfigure 3 (3: Attach to target creature you control; or unattach from a creature. Reconfigure only as a sorcery. While attached, this isn’t a creature.)
2/2
Puppet Governors 3U
Artifact Creature — Construct Advisor
Vigilance
T: You choose how each player votes this turn.
Discord’s mockery of Luna’s hopes only showed how little he understood them.
2/4
Lunar Jam Pits 2BB
Enchantment
Creatures you control get +2/+2.
At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice a non-Ooze creature.
When you control no creatures, sacrifice Lunar Jam Pits.
The Smooze’s hunger, like everything else about it, is unstoppable.
Back on Stage 3B
Sorcery
Return target creature card from your graveyard to the battlefield with a finality counter on it. (If a creature with a finality counter on it would die, exile it instead.)
Chaotic 1B (You may cast this spell for its chaotic cost. If you do, choose its target at random.)
Alone in the Dark 3BBB
Sorcery
Target player chooses a creature they control, then sacrifices the rest.
Everyone Luna had met on her journey came to her aid at its end. With a single spell, the Nightmare forced them away.
Stonehoof Auxiliary 3R
Sorcery
Create a 2/3 red Minotaur creature token. Each opponent sacrifices an artifact.
As long as you sacrificed a permanent this turn and Stonehoof Auxiliary is in your graveyard, it has flashback 2R.
Surreal Scrawl 3R
Creature — Chimera Horror
Menace
Whenever Surreal Scrawl becomes the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls for the first time each turn, that player chooses new targets for that spell or ability at random.
Chaos intruding on reality is rarely pretty.
4/2
Slice Through Reality 3RR
Sorcery
Devoid (This card has no color.)
Slice Through Reality deals 6 damage to target creature. If that creature would die this turn, its controller exiles it and a land they control instead.
Discord’s last assault spared no level of existence.
Nightmarish Presence 2G
Instant
Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt by creatures other than target creature this turn. If B was spent to cast this spell, that creature gains wither until end of turn. (It deals damage to creatures in the form of -1/-1 counters.)
Typical tactics won’t work on bad dreams.
Consuming Jam 2GG
Sorcery
Destroy target artifact or enchantment. Amass Oozes X, where X is that permanent’s mana value. (Put X +1/+1 counters on an Army you control. It’s also an Ooze. If you don’t control an Army, create a 0/0 black Ooze Army creature token first.)
Rallying Cry 4GG
Sorcery
Convoke (Your creatures can help cast this spell. Each creature you tap while casting this spell pays for 1 or one mana of that creature’s color.)
This spell can’t be countered if no mana was spent to cast it.
Untap all creatures you control. They get +2/+2 and gain trample until end of turn.
Cartographer’s Cannon 4
Artifact
Landfall — T, Sacrifice a creature: Cartographer’s Cannon deals damage equal to the sacrificed creature’s power to any target. Activate only if a land entered the battlefield under your control this turn.
Some explorers mark where they’ve been on maps. Others use the land itself.
The Ancient Lunar Relics 6
Legendary Artifact
2, T: Choose target permanent card in your graveyard. If its mana value is 2 or less, return it to the battlefield. Otherwise, return it to your hand. If an artifact named Malleable Map entered the battlefield this way and you both own and control it and The Ancient Lunar Relics, exile them, then meld them into Luna, the Chosen Woon.
Luna, the Chosen Woon
(WB) Legendary Creature — Avatar Noble
Alicorn (This is also a Pony Pegasus Unicorn.)
Flying, vigilance, menace
Ward — Pay half your life, rounded up.
At the beginning of each player’s upkeep, return target permanent card of that player’s choice from their graveyard to the battlefield under your control. If that permanent is an Equipment, you may attach it to Luna.
5/5
Sketchy Behavior (br)
Sorcery
Suspect target creature. (It has menace and can’t block.)
Investigate. (Create a Clue token. It’s an artifact with “2, Sacrifice this artifact: Draw a card.”)
The dark filly had always seemed strange. Now Luna realized she wasn’t a pony at all.
Quelling the Chaos 1GWU
Enchantment — Saga
(As this Saga enters and after your draw step, add a lore counter. Sacrifice after III.)
I, II — You may put a noncreature, non-Saga permanent card from your hand or graveyard onto the battlefield.
III — Target creature or planeswalker becomes an artifact and loses all abilities and other types.
Discord’s Frustration 2BR
Sorcery
Kicker B and/or R (You may pay an additional B and/or R as you cast this spell.)
Discord’s Frustration deals 3 damage to each creature. If this spell was kicked, destroy all creatures. If this spell was kicked twice, exile all creatures.
“Why. Won’t. You. DIE!?”
Natural Disorder 2RG
Sorcery
As an additional cost to cast this spell, sacrifice a creature.
Discover X, where X is the sacrificed creature’s mana value plus 1. If the discovered card’s mana value is less than X, discover Y, where Y is the difference. (To discover X, exile cards from the top of your library until you exile a nonland card with mana value X or less. Cast it without paying its mana cost or put it into your hand. Put the rest on the bottom in a random order.)
Discord, Primordial Chaos 2BRG
Legendary Planeswalker — Discord
Whenever you sacrifice a permanent, you may put a permanent card with equal or lesser mana value from your hand onto the battlefield. Do this only once each turn.
+1: Each player sacrifices a non-Discord permanent. Draw a card.
-X: Each player sacrifices all nonland, non-Discord permanents they control with mana value X.
4
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: through the magic of manifest (or MKM's new "cloak" keyword), Unbreakable Determination can be the permanent that was sent to the graveyard this turn to enable its flashback. That works.
Stupid Complicated Game Alert: If a player pays their last life to get through Luna, the Chosen Woon's ward, losing the game will happen as a state-based action before their spell can resolve. This prevents said spell from resolving, even if there's some third player that means the game isn't over yet. I don't think the game rules otherwise stop you from doing this, because there are ways to avoid losing the game in this situation anyway.
I'd forgotten that you hadn't reached the end of this yet, so this came as a surprise. Man, eleven years later and Moonstuck still makes me cry. The Avengers Assemble thing has become very played out in the intervening years, but there's a reason people do it. Something so simple as being reminded that you have friends who support you when things are tough can make all the difference.