Week 1 of College · 7:12am January 13th
I suppose I had to get used to the notion of going to classes again after a few years away, and certainly in person. But aside from that, I have a few observations about college.
First, I'm in Idaho at the moment. And it's colder than buttcheeks up here, with snow falling every day and dusting the grounds and the streets. There's almost enough snow here to bury your mom, or something, idk. I have to walk everywhere, which makes things a little annoying. But I do get my daily steps in, so that's a plus. It also allows me to take a sealed drink, stuff it in the snow in a concealed spot outside of a building, take my classes, retrieve the snow-covered cold drink once I leave the building for lunch, and drink it without getting lukewarm. Think outside the building.
Second, finances are tight. I'm applying for jobs left and right, and I have high hopes for a Taco Bell job on Monday, and I can donate blood plasma for about $100 a week, and I received a $500 returned-missionary grant, and I got $20 for impromptu-helping an older man shovel his driveway-- but I also wish my circumstances weren't quite so desperate. That's just how college life is, though. You need to learn to sometimes go without a few things.
I've also gotten quite a few phone numbers. Some from roommates, some from a few returned San Bernardino missionaries in college beside me, and some were cute girls that I'm trying to schedule for a date. You need to have a wide variety of options, but it's still only the first week. Here's where missionary skills come in handy-- striking conversation, getting numbers, following up, etc.
My classes are great. I'm studying a bit of finance, a bit of history, and a bit of business. Some classes are solely for the practical benefits later in life. I think I've decided on History as my major. Before the Mish, I was trying to study marriage and family science, because I care about the nuclear family and want to protect it, but 1) therapy isn't my thing for a career, and 2) I need to put food on the table, y'know?
That's actually a really big fear of mine-- that I won't fulfill my role as a father and husband. I might be lazy, I might be morally unclean. I'm also acutely aware that I can sometimes be unwise with spending habits-- I can be impulsive, I can be narrow-minded, etc. Even with buying a few packs of soda for lunches, I'll think I'm spending unwisely, that I'm making my mother feel uncomfortable. And I love my mom beyond all comparison-- She helped me settle in and make sure everything was in order, and I was struck during the process of just how much she has sacrificed for me. Mom loves me beyond words, which was hard for me to imagine-- me, of all people? I have a bad habit of comparing myself to my siblings and their skills-- I thought I was underperforming.
So I want to make mom proud. I want to make the most of my time here, for my sake and the sake of others. I'll probably get tired of campus life by April, but I can always enjoy my time now.
Great choice with the History major! Definitely was a choice for me when deciding my major, but I opted to go a different route unfortunately. History is the only way we can preserve the legacy of the past. After all, it is said that those who do not learn History are doomed to repeat it. Although, I should warn you to be careful for hidden agendas when reading. It's tragic that our history is often warped to politically benefit people, so a press you to be weary and do your research on a book/article.
As for your future worries on family and uncleanness, I would say is to put your trust in God, if you believe in him. Surround yourself with friends who not only belive in the same standards you want to live, but will hold you accountable to them. Most importantly, hold yourself accountable. Don't worry if it's hard! All moral changes takes time and practice. However, with consistency and
As for making your family and mother proud? That is a question everyone has asked at some point, whether it be kings, generals, businessmen, or a lowly farmer. I also fear standing next to the achievements of my forefathers. Alas, cannot live trapped in the past glories of our fathers, for we must live in the present and craft our own story. If I were you, I would seek advice from your mother. It's always better to know the truth of the situation than be trapped in the worries of speculation. I think she would be glad to share a couple of tips and tricks with you.
Hang in there, and know that you can do this!
5763561
Thanks, man! I'm glad to know you have my back. Let's do this thing.
As someone that is very paranoid about consumption habits (for health reasons, mostly), I think my best advice to try not to put all of your stock on morality into inanimate objects. It's how you treat the others around you.
Buying a six-pack of soda is SO worth it if it ends up resulting in you and your friends sharing a great evening together. (Or you can be like me and just look at it like "Hey, that means I don't have to spend any money on soda for a long time.")
As far as father and husbands go, It's pretty hard not to go wrong with just doing right by the people in your life (while also letting them be their own people and accepting them doing right by you.) After all, that's what relationships are.
5763636
Thank you for the words and advice. It means a lot coming from you. It always seems worse in the moment, though, right?
Hold up
Not my place to tell you how to make your money or how you’re not allowed to make your money: but if you’re selling your Plasma regularly; I’m going to ask that you consider your physical limits and the possible mental health repercussions that come with selling your spare parts to get by, and make sure that you’re taking care of yourself.
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Millions of people do it safely each year; the blood cells get replaced in the giving process, allowing for donations up to twice a week. I read the doctor's notes about it in the clinic. And I haven't done it yet, since I didn't have all the proper documents yet, but I'm planning on it.
5763990
I’m not questioning the safety of the process itself
I’m making sure that you’re mentally safe with the process
If that makes sense
5764003
I understand. I'll see if I'm up to it.