Empress Theresa: Chapter Seventeen Analysis · 5:24pm May 5th, 2023
Somewhere out of the blue of left field at the eleventh hour, we are introduced to an attorney from New York named Connie McKesson. Apparently there is a class action lawsuit being filed against Theresa by greedy capitalists who thought that investing in gold was the safest thing to do, only to have the value of their investment plummet because of Theresa bringing in all that extra gold from space.
I spoke to somebody who is more knowledgeable than myself on the topic. Apparently I was right about more gold being a good thing. It turns out that if by some miracle gold were to fall out of the sky, it really would help world economies to stabilize if it were handled responsibly and carefully by professionals (and not solely by Theresa). It would take a long time to do it, but the value of existing gold would only increase if this plan were done right. Not decrease. Even if just by a tiny fraction of a percent, the value of gold would go up. It would be a good thing to have more gold in the world. Nobody should, or would, have a problem with this. How many more ways can I say that this situation makes no sense? Once again, it’s clear that Boutin doesn’t know what he’s talking about, along with the dozens of other things that have come up in this story.
Theresa blames Steve for the problem, since it was his idea to mine gold from space. This is usually an early warning sign of a looming divorce when a couple begins to blame one another for petty things like this. But there’s a good chance that no such thing will happen, unless Theresa realizes that she’s too perfect for someone like Steve. Also, even though Theresa stated at the beginning of the story that she doesn’t know how some things happened because she wasn’t there, she seems to know all about Steve’s game of pool against the butler.
She’s in her room now, crying to cope with her problems. She has a brief, fleeting thought about how she may have been unfair to Steve, but then seems to fixate on all of the money that people keep sending her. Fifty-six million dollars at this point. Clearly, the world has no better way to spend their money. After that, Mrs. Parker (the woman whose house Theresa is staying at, remember?) comes in to offer some completely irrational and irresponsible marriage advice that no functional adult would tell anybody. After that single paragraph of non-advice, Theresa decides that she now has a plan to get back at the evil lawyer.
A crowd gathers at the New York County Courthouse to protest the lawsuit, even though the trial hasn’t even been dated yet. President Stinson is worried that such a crowd is a tempting target for terrorists. A phone call from Steve, and the protest is dissolved. Why this scene exists is beyond any of us, because it has no bearing on the plot, and it’s resolved in literally a couple of sentences.
Does anybody remember way back when Theresa discovered that she could see anywhere in the world? What’s the first thing that she does with it since learning that she has this amazing, all-knowing, all-seeing power? She spies on the lawyer who dared speak out against her! Theresa even refers to herself as ‘The World Empress’ as she learns that Connie is a single mom with two very young kids. Even after learning this rather personal detail, and seeing how hard Connie has to work to get her family going in the morning while she waits for a babysitter to arrive, Theresa decides that she’s going to use HAL’s power to make it so that any vehicle that Connie boards will not start.
Even though her only crime was accepting a case that was taken to her by a bunch of other people, Connie is the one who is supposed to be the villain, so she blames Theresa as the culprit, despite the lack of any evidence. She also starts espousing litigious threats about criminal acts and jail time, and demanding Theresa’s arrest. We’re supposed to think that Theresa is the good guy here, but she just abused her power to make the life of a single mother with a pressing job and two young children, who is basically the middleman for a bunch of other people who want to sue her, much more difficult. Contrast that to Theresa, who is married and unemployed with no kids, but has millions of dollars sent to her in the mail just for existing, and lives rent free in a mansion. Theresa, however, sees her actions as setting an example about having the right attitude about life, God and herself. She’s sounding more and more like a tyrant with each page, isn’t she?
Theresa isn’t done. She then does the same to the rest of the lawyers on Connie’s legal team, and notes that since they’re all men the media can’t make the case that she’s making their lives more difficult, because they can’t be single moms. Understand that? Theresa knew what she was doing to Connie. She also shows that she doesn’t have any pity for the lives of the men that she ruins because they are men. She not only has no conscience, but she’s also sexist. And I bet Boutin justifies this as ‘feminism.’
You might remember how several chapters ago I talked about how a lot of male creators in the animation industry claim to create ‘strong’ female characters, and that they only do it to signal how un-sexist they are, but they are actually complete creeps? (Actually it’s pretty much every creative industry, but it seems most prevalent in animation). The most common reason that I’ve noticed why they do this is that they think their female peers will want to date them if they act like they’re ‘pro-woman.’ Boutin has never been married. Nor does he seem like the kind of person who has ever had a date. I’m not even sure he’s kissed a woman. His reasons are that most marriages end in divorce, and that women get fat as they age. Make of that what you will, but there aren’t many conclusions to come to.
Anyway, Theresa uses this power to intimidate everyone into dropping the lawsuit against her, and to never cross her again. By this time, people are trying to advance their careers by taking selfies with the ‘World Empress.’ How that works is known only to the author. Also known only to the author is how the American ambassador’s idea to ground all terrorists like Connie and her legal team would discourage terrorism is supposed to work. They’d first have to know who these people were, and where to find them. And since anyone, anywhere, can become a terrorist at any time, the plan is pretty much null from the beginning. Even still, Theresa decides that it’s her responsibility to ground all terrorists.
Let’s take a moment to talk about another piece of classic literature. In The Divine Comedy, specifically in Inferno, Dante comes face to face with Satan himself. Satan is the most terrifying thing that he’s ever seen. The source of all evil that ever has and ever will exist in the world. However, Dante also notices that the devil is suffering greatly, and is only putting himself deeper into his own misery by trying to exercise his evil deeds. Dante compares and contrasts the major differences between Satan and God. God being loving, all-knowing and all-powerful, whereas Satan is hateful, ignorant and impotent. I know that you all probably know the definition of each of these words, but let’s review for the sake of making a point. Being hateful just means to have animosity or hostility against someone or something. Oftentimes, it’s completely baseless. Being ignorant means to be unaware, uninformed, unworldly, lacking in knowledge, or being just plain dumb. Ignorance is often self-inflicted, and can easily be remedied if you are willing to put in the effort. Finally, being impotent means that you are generally helpless, powerless, or have no control over anything. This is also fixable by means of effort on your own behalf, but such effort is rarely exercised by such people, because they often prefer to make being hurt, weak and aggrieved a part of their identity. Based on the core definitions of these three words, it’s very clear that Theresa is nothing like the godly saint that Boutin tries very desperately to make her out to be. Instead, she is more like Alghieri’s Satan. A mean, stupid, self-victimizing twat who is unlikeable in every way, who uses what power she has to do bad to others if given the chance. If Theresa were able to live for a thousand years, she would always remember the perceived wrong that Connie McKesson had done to her. And she would ruminate over it, and get angry each time. Just like Satan and his eternal hate for all things greater than himself.
The chapter closes with President Stinson abdicating Theresa of all responsibility in this endeavor, allowing her to do any means to achieve her end. How’s that for a bleak future? We’ll find out later. Try to recuperate from this one for a while. Until Monday, people
In the comments section for one of CrimsonRogue's reviews of this book, somebody actually came up with an interesting story idea. To summarise, the story is told from Connie's perspective, and when Theresa changes things so that all vehicles she gets on don't work, she's actually able to use this to her advantage by starting a Resistance movement against Theresa and covertly boarding Theresa's plane-thereby rendering the nutter unable to escape.
5726597
That sounds like an infinitely more interesting story. I would believe Connie McKesson as a protagonist far more than Theresa. Is there a link to this story? Please, I hope.
5726623
I don't think it was ever written in the end.
5726636
Damn! There goes the last lingering thread of hope I had for this story to get interesting beyond an analytical piece.
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Empress Theresa remains as a perfect guide as to how not to write a story.
Theresa would probably say "Time for Punishment",
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djTgW-1HHKg&t=234s
5752057
Oh, dark days...I remember reading that book. One of my friends told me that Onision wrote a trilogy, and I was morbidly curious to know what such a man-child could produce. The entire experience felt like that scene in Alien where the monster busts out of John Hurt's chest. Except it felt like a lot longer and the monster died inside me by the end.