The Room Analysis: Part Nine

1:17:19-1:26:26

Continuing the trend of unnecessarily long scenes that don’t belong in this film, the scene cuts to the San Francisco skyline once again. Only this time, it’s at night. And it drags on for a good fifteen seconds, which for some reason feels like a lot longer.

Cut back to Johnny’s birthday party, where we focus on a bowl of pretzels for a moment, before we see Denny grab a champagne glass and walk away with it. We’re not too sure if it’s Denny at first, because he’s out of frame most of the time. And when he’s in frame, he’s out of focus. But it’s him for sure. Remember, he’s just barely turned eighteen, and he’s got an alcoholic beverage in his hand. I think we’re supposed to believe that he snuck it without the adults knowing about it, but I don’t think that was the intent. After all, he was buying drugs before, wasn’t he?

Cut to Johnny, who is speaking with Claudette. Whatever they’re saying is unknown to us, because the audio quality is so poor.

Then cut to Lisa, who giggles about how someone offscreen has told her the same joke for the third time that night.

The scene cuts to Johnny, which then pans over to Lisa, who is literally a step away, and she’s talking to some guy who we’ve never seen before.

Then cut to Mark, who catches Lisa’s eye, and they smile lustfully at one another.

Cut to Johnny, who seems to have noticed and seems to only now become suspicious of Mark.

Cut to Mike and Michelle, who are sharing a piece of cake. Let’s hope to all things sacred that it isn’t chocolate cake.

And the whole time we’re jumping like a cricket on crack between all of these characters, we hear Johnny and Claudette mumbling about friendship and how important it is to help friends, along with some incredibly generic, non-copyright infringing stock music. Is this what it’s like to be crazy? Because that’s what watching this scene feels like.

The madness ends when Lisa suggests to everyone that they move the party outside. Perhaps there’s a surprise out there? No, not really. Conveniently, Mark is the last one to leave, and Lisa shuts the door on him before he can exit. Turns out it was just a ruse to get them alone together. They’re getting bolder now, engaging their affair while the only thing between them and their friends is an unlocked door. A fact that Mark acknowledges, but very quickly grows complicit with the act, because of Lisa’s sly behavior. There’s a word for being thrilled by the possibility of being caught when you’re engaged in illicit behavior, but I can’t remember what it is at the moment.

This has the potential to become another overly long sex scene, because of how long the camera lingers on them making out. But the arrival of that stranger who has told Lisa the same joke thrice stops them. And he very sternly asks them what’s going on.

Who is this guy? Why does he act like he’s already involved? What do we care, if we don’t know his relation to Johnny, Lisa and Mark? There’s a reason for all of this. You remember Peter, don’t you? Apparently, the actor who played him had other commitments that prevented him from participating in the movie anymore after the scene where he tripped in his tux. Somebody needed to replace Peter, who was supposed to be the one who walked in on Mark and Lisa just now, so a completely new character was created for the story, but with all of Peter’s lines intact. He is never named in the film, but the end credits give his name as Steve. So, meet Steve, everybody. He’s going to be here from now on. (Personally, I think it would have made more sense to have Denny be the one to catch them if Peter was no longer appearing. It would certainly justify his place in this film a bit better).

So, Steve continues to berate and admonish Lisa and Mark for their affair. Especially when Johnny is only a stone’s throw away. Lisa insists to who is supposed to be Peter that she loves Mark, and Steve continues to fume about his personal outrage. Mark then drops one of the most unintentionally hilarious lines in the whole movie when he very venomously spits at Steve, “Leave your STUPID comments in your pocket!”

There has been a lot of debate over the origin or meaning of this phrase. I’m on the side that says that this is some mistranslation of a saying that originates from Wiseau’s native Poland. I haven’t been able to find a similar phrase in Polish, which makes me think that it could also be an example of broken English.

Mark leaves, and Steve continues to harangue Lisa about how Johnny is very sensitive and could be destroyed by this affair. Lisa’s motives have changed once more, and she says that she now no longer cares about Johnny’s feelings. This could be an interesting plot development if we actually saw some kind of catalyst that made Lisa no longer care about Johnny, such as if Johnny ended up doing something particularly callous and dismissive regarding Lisa. But in this case, it seems to only happen to make Lisa look like the bad guy.

Next comes the arrival of Michelle and Johnny. Johnny is delighted with Lisa’s preparations of the party, saying, “Thissis a byooteeful paaahty. Yoo invahted awl mah frennz! Gyood ftheenking!” And Lisa replies by assuring Johnny how much she loves him. Now she’s being openly duplicitous in front of people who already know about her affair. Michelle is already in a tight spot, where she’s sworn to secrecy with her best friend. But Steve? He could end everything by just telling Johnny what’s going on right then and there. What does Lisa have on Steve that keeps him from speaking up, huh? Nothing. The only thing Steve would have to lose is Lisa, who he already appears to not be too fond of. But Lisa moves those present to outside, so that they may be creakingly awkward in a new setting.

Oh, look. The scene cuts to a view of the city streets at night. Then it cuts back to the party of Lisa meandering around aimlessly, until she passes by Johnny without a second glance. The camera then focuses on Johnny, who announces to everyone at the party some very exciting news. He and Lisa are expecting! Whoa! That’s huge! Starting a family is always a big deal! Well, we can start feeling happy for Johnny and Lisa, can’t we? Probably not, because that means that they would have to stay together for the sake of their baby. Unless one of them decided to leave anyway. For us in the audience, it’s something that really piques our interest in the story.

After that revelation, Michelle and Steve decide to privately confront Lisa. Michelle says that Lisa really needs to be honest at this point, to which Steve very rapidly agrees, like he’s trying to steal Michelle from Mike. Lisa says that she will after the party, so that she doesn’t ruin the moment for him. All of a sudden she cares about Johnny’s feelings again. Steve asks when the baby is due, and Lisa reveals a new plot twist. There’s no baby after all. She just said that to make things interesting. For who? Most likely for herself. You see that? Out of thin air, she claims to care about Johnny’s feelings, then lies to him about a baby on the way. What’s her plan here? Does she plan to fake a pregnancy for the next nine months? How does she plan to get out of this one, because it’s not like she can fake a miscarriage or abortion! But Lisa’s logic is that she and Johnny will probably have a baby soon anyway. Right. Sure. In the middle of an affair with Mark. This is not the Mr. Ripley-style plan that Wiseau clearly thought he was writing.

Steve drops some hyperbole, stating that he feels like he’s just waiting for an atomic bomb to blow up. And Michelle just as rapidly agrees with him. But she does acknowledge that there’s no easy way out of this situation. Lisa tells them not to worry about her, but Michelle corrects her. She and Steve are more worried about Johnny. She also says that it’s hurting her friendship with Lisa. Hm…So, it seems that Michelle could also have ended this affair by coming clean with Johnny. Interesting.

This is where things really get nasty. Lisa completely drops the facade of niceness, and babbles on in a series of disjointed thoughts about how she needs to only think about herself. Probably just because she feels like it. Steve says in three different ways that this unpleasant business is going to hurt everyone involved, and then drops a bomb on Lisa when he says that he doesn’t think that Mark really loves her. There has been no evidence to even suggest such a thing. Lisa then says she doesn’t want to talk about it, and calls everyone back into the house to eat some cake, leaving Michelle exasperated.

Even though everything that follows could have taken place outside, we cut to a view of what is presumably the exterior view of the apartment building, then to the inside, where two people we have never seen before are eating cake. One guy remarks, “Lisa looks hot tonight.” And he does this right in front of who is presumably his wife or girlfriend. In that case, she would have every right to stick him with her fork, but she doesn’t. Then we pan over to Johnny and Claudette, who are mumbling indistinctly to one another. One can assume they’re just saying, “Rhubarb! Rhubarb! Rhubarb!”

Cut to Mark, who is begging Lisa to know if the baby is his or Johnny’s. Lisa wanted to make things interesting, but she seems more annoyed by Mark pestering her. Mark naturally begins to get annoyed by Lisa’s indifference to the situation, and finally gets enough of a rise out of her to the point that she slaps his face. Though Mark is significantly larger than Lisa, he reacts like he was just punched by Tyson Fury.

Johnny quickly intervenes, asking what’s going on. Mark very inappropriately hints about his affair with Lisa, to which Johnny says he probably knows more than Mark thinks. Things start coming to a head as the two friends start shoving one another, before they charge like they’re going to fight. It’s going to be a bloodbath, people! Get your popcorn and sodas ready! This is the part we’ve all been waiting for. Until Lisa breaks them up. So much for making things interesting. Steve, Michelle and Denny stare blankly from the background as Johnny very quickly forgives Mark and makes up with him. The situation is diffused, and Johnny makes Lisa clean up the mess that he and Mark made while they were pushing each other. Mark sits down next to Claudette, but neither one engages any conversation about the scene that he and Johnny just made.

Scene fades to an exterior view of the city, then cuts to the party, where Mark and Lisa are slowdancing together. Isn’t this what got them in trouble just before? And it gets worse as they start getting awfully handsy with one another. Something that doesn’t go unnoticed by Johnny. If nothing else tipped him off, this sure as shit should. But he still confronts them like he has no idea what’s going on. At this point, Lisa and Mark actively rebuke Johnny, with Mark even saying that Lisa might have changed her mind about him. How many times must Johnny be told that Lisa is having an affair with Mark until he catches on? Even when Mark makes it very clear that it’s him who is involved with it? Johnny’s stupidity is unfathomable at this point.

Johnny seems to have finally found his balls and very calmly, yet authoritatively, tells Mark to leave. Mark tries to brush the situation off by clapping a friendly hand on Johnny’s shoulder, prompting Johnny to say, “Don’touch me mowtherfvugker!” Once more, the guys begin fighting, which Lisa again breaks up. Mark is no longer concerned with keeping up the facade, and yells that if Johnny kept his girl satisfied, she wouldn’t go to him. And even though Johnny’s attempts to fight Mark are very lethargic, it takes three people to hold him back. Since he can no longer fight Mark, Johnny calls him a chicken. Cheep-chip-chips and all. Of all the things that he could call Mark in that moment, the worst that he can come up with is, ‘chicken.’ Think of the worst thing that you ever wanted to call someone, and it probably wasn’t chicken.

The guys lunge at each other again, and they are broken up again. Johnny loudly declares, “Effreebody betraymee! I feddup wifvis worwld!” And with that, he storms upstairs to be alone.

And so, we’ve reached the end of this segment.

Since absolutely nothing before made any sense and held no relevance to the story, we can only really consider the first twenty minutes of the movie and the last twenty minutes as the actual film. In reality, ‘The Room’ is a short film that probably shouldn’t have seen any kind of release, and should have been treated as an experimental subject by a man who was trying to learn the ropes of filmmaking. Most filmmakers do that. Famously, Spielberg made several short films, before he created his first feature film, ‘Duel.’ Many of those short experimental films went on to become his major features. Wiseau just seems to jump right into the deep end without knowing how to swim.

This part really delves into the ‘poor Johnny’ aspect that has been so desperately conveyed to us. Instead, Johnny seems like a whining, oblivious dork, since there have been obvious clues presented to him multiple times throughout the movie. And he’s very quickly being set up as a tragic saint.

Lisa, on the other hand, was quickly elevated to her most evil self yet. However, she still seems to hang onto the idea that the audience wants us to think that she still cares about Johnny, so she keeps saying she doesn’t want to hurt him, until she says that she doesn’t care that she does. Characters with complicated motives can be hard to write, but they have to at least be consistent.

One could also argue that Lisa isn’t the only villain in the movie. Johnny and Lisa have all of these friends who know about the affair, but none of them seem to make a solid move to tell Johnny about it, which only serves to detriment Johnny and make them into villains as well. If the people who are complicit with Johnny and Lisa’s affair are the villains, then Michelle is right up there at the head of the pack. She could have easily spoken up when she saw how bad things were getting, but kept mum. Same with Peter/Steve, who could have also ended it all by letting the secret slip.

That’s all for now. Next analysis is the last one. Tonight’s film will be ‘Mrs. Doubtfire,’ which involves an equally outlandish, but somehow much more believable, deception.