The Room Analysis: Part Seven

1:00:57-1:08:59

This scene’s opening is a real head scratcher. There stands Johnny in a tuxedo, talking on the phone, thanking whoever it is on the other end repeatedly, before he hangs up and says, “Oh, hai, Denny,” to somebody offscreen. Apparently Denny has come by, and he too is wearing a tux. He’s also carrying a football. Denny comments how handsome Johnny looks, and how great his wedding pictures will look. Is that what’s going on? Is Johnny rehearsing to take his wedding pictures? People don’t usually do that. I’ve attended more than a few weddings, and nobody did such a thing.

Seconds after Denny arrives, the doorbell rings. Denny gets it, and it’s Peter this time. Hm…Couldn’t he and Denny have arrived together, considering how they arrive one right after the other? They all live in the same building, after all. It isn’t like they’d have to run to catch up to one another. Nor would one of them have to be parking the car if they happened to be sharing a ride. Then the doorbell rings again, seconds after Peter enters. Denny answers it, and it’s time for the big reveal. It’s Mark this time. And he’s shaved! He’s had a beard since the movie began, and now his face is bald! Typically, a man shaving his beard is a symbol of him cleaning up his life. He’s making an effort to make himself better by not neglecting to perform basic grooming. Here, it means nothing. Johnny comments that he looks like a babyface, but that’s about it. It could be meant to make us think that Mark is more attractive without it, but Lisa was attracted to him anyway. Perhaps it’s meant to symbolize a transformation of his character into somebody who is actively malicious and duplicitous? I don’t think so, but that’s how it would be in a film with better writing.

It seems like the whole point of everything that has been happening was actually just to play some football in tuxedos. That’s the only explanation as to why Denny already has the football in his hands at the beginning of this scene. If I had to guess, Denny called on Johnny and asked him if he wanted to play football with the guys. But as a twist, he suggested they all do it in tuxes. So Johnny calls the guys and tells them to rent a tux and come over to his place, without telling them why. That would explain why everyone is wearing tuxes in the first place. This would also explain why Peter is so hesitant to play. But after everyone makes chicken noises at him (Cheep-chip-chip-chip-cheep!) Peter relents. They go outside, into what appears to be an actual alleyway this time, and not a constructed set, where they play a game of catch, before Peter takes a very deliberate fall. Not deliberate in the film, but the fall he takes is clearly fake.

Peter is helped up, and he says, “That’s it. I’m done.” And it’s true, because he’s never seen in this movie again.

The scene then transitions with Johnny walking past some more San Francisco landmarks, before we cut to the inside of a coffee shop. First, we get a view of a drink getting foamed up with steam. Over that, we hear someone order cheesecake and a bottle of water. That should be enough to let you know that we’re in a coffee shop. Instead of getting on with the scene, another couple places an order. And then another nameless couple after them. And they order the exact same cheesecake and bottle of water as the first one! Finally, we get to Johnny and Mark. Once again, Johnny has an established rapport with the clerk, who he even greets by name this time. Susan, the barista, warmly greets Johnny and asks him his order. He orders hot chocolate, and Mark orders mint tea. You see that? Johnny won’t even drink caffeine, because he’s such a good person.

So, teetotaling Johnny and ‘hard drinking’ Mark sit down without paying for their drinks, but Mark later says that it’s on him, so maybe they get the bill after being served. I don’t know of any coffee place that does this, but maybe there’s one out there. From the moment the guys sit down, Mark begins lamenting about how relationships never seem to work. (Correction: relationships never seem to work for him. And that’s probably because he’s a douche). They get their drinks served to them, and Mark asks how Johnny’s work is going. Johnny is happy with his work, because the new client he signed on will make them a lot of money. At least that’s what we can assume has happened. He doesn’t tell Mark who the client is when he asks, because that information is confidential. However, Johnny doesn’t seem to think certain other topics are quite as confidential, because he asks Mark, “Aneeway, hauw is yoo sekslaif?” Of course Mark doesn’t want to talk about his sex life. Lucky for him, Johnny remembers an appointment he has to get to, so he collects a manila folder and leaves. (If you look closely, that folder is empty). But not before making plans to meet Mark at Golden Gate Park at 6:30. In the background, there’s a guy who is looking right at the camera, as if he has no clue that he’s in a movie.

Cut to Johnny and Lisa’s bedroom, where Lisa arrives with Mark. What the hell happened to Golden Gate Park? Mark’s wearing different clothes, so it’s probably a different day anyhow, but why make 6:30 at the park such an explicit point if they’re not going to show that scene? Lisa has tempted Mark again, and he makes a lame attempt to resist before he gives in without any compunction. With that, we have another sex scene, just because we haven’t had one for a while. And it comes complete with crappy background music that makes you wish you were deaf. The worst part is the sheer length of the scene. This might be the one that makes you choose the life of a monk.

Fade to a view of the Golden Gate Bridge again, before we cut to Mark waiting by the side of a road in what appears to be a park somewhere, and he’s got a football. Perhaps they meant to meet up at 6:30 in the morning, as opposed to the afternoon? That still doesn’t make any logical sense, because I pointed out before that the scene just prior to this one must have taken place on a different day than the coffee shop scene. In only a few moments, Johnny pulls up in his car and the two of them take off jogging down a trail, throwing the football to one another as they share some friendly banter. This scene is clearly supposed to convey the idea of how close Johnny and Mark actually are, but the fact that this is the only real time that we’ve seen them in any kind of bonding activity after over an hour defeats the purpose of that completely.

And scene!

That’s it for that segment. If it seems like not much happened in this one, that’s because it didn’t. This part of the movie is more of a whirlwind of nonsense that doesn’t even seem to exist to tell us how good Johnny is. Except for the part where Johnny protects his client’s confidentiality, nothing really happens to make us think that he’s such a good person.

What we do glean from this is what good friends Johnny and Mark are. Unfortunately, the scenes that show that happen too late into the movie, and would be much better shown during the opening credits. Those scenes also would have been more effective if they had shown the others, Peter and Denny, with them, in order to show us the closeness of this group of friends. And then have Peter and Denny tottle off somewhere to show the real bond between Johnny and Mark. As usual, that would be intelligent, so it has no place in this movie.

Mark has begun his descent into becoming a serious douchebag, where he is now willingly involved in the affair with Lisa. We can only assume that this is because he was in love with her all along, and was jealous of Johnny for being with her. But that was never conveyed to us in any way through this movie. I’m just putting it out there, because that would make sense.

See you around. All this talk of friendship has got me feeling sentimental, so tonight’s movie is going to be ‘ET: The Extra-Terrestrial.’