The Room Analysis: Part 6

00:51:42-1:00:56

It’s easy to assume that this scene takes place exactly after the point where Johnny set up his recorder, because his hair and clothes are the same as they were in the last scene. However, he is not upstairs. Instead, he is in his living room, and he is not alone. There is another man there, who is wearing a pair of glasses and an impressively cheap suit. Even though we have never seen him before in this entire movie, he is treated like he had been there the entire time as Johnny sits down, pours water from a plastic bottle into a glass and asks, “Ah don’unnerstand weemuhn. Dooyoo, Peeterrr?”

Peter’s answer, “What man does?” is supposed to be interpreted as something that everyone can relate to, but it’s probably the product of the writer’s ignorance on the topic itself. But Peter, being the helpful soul that he is, decides to ask what the problem is.

At first, Johnny spouts off a bunch of garbage about how women can’t be trusted because they never say what they mean. Then he tells Peter about how he overheard Lisa saying that she’s seeing another man. Peter is in disbelief, because how could Lisa, of all people, do such a thing? He’s so flabbergasted that he just doesn’t know what advice to give Johnny. But Johnny insists that Peter must have some advice, because he is a psychologist.

Let’s take a moment to talk about that. Peter’s ability to help him would come from what particular area of psychology he specializes in. We don’t know if he’s a general practitioner, criminologist, forensic, academic, cognitive; the list goes on. The best way for Peter to be of any help is if he specialized in marriage or family counseling (incidentally, that’s my mother’s particular field of specialty), but even then he couldn’t offer much advice without knowing more details of what’s going on between Johnny and Lisa.

Still, Peter maintains a stance of impartiality by (rather smartly) saying that it’s a complicated situation, implying that he can’t give any worthwhile advice. But he does say that Johnny should probably confront her about it. This is actually a viable option, but it would have to be done very tactfully and with great care. But Johnny refutes that option, saying that he wants to give Lisa a second chance. Strange how he didn’t have a problem confronting her earlier, when he was shoving Lisa onto the couch. He also quotes Shakespeare, delivering it with his usual marble-mouthed eloquence, “Lowve iss bla-iiiiind.” Peter then offers some serious non-advice, telling Johnny that life is complicated, and that he should just deal with it when something unexpected happens. You don’t have to be a psychologist to give that kind of advice.

Then the doorbell rings.

Get your guns! Denny’s come back to bog down this scene with his presence!

Oh, thank god. It’s just Mark.

They exchange their ‘Oh, hais’ and ‘Oh, heys,’ before settling into the scene. But things immediately get uncomfortable for Mark when Johnny informs him that they were just talking about women. Mark agrees that women just confuse him, and we get a reaction shot of Peter glancing suspiciously at Mark. We’re supposed to think that this is where Peter is becoming wise to his affair with Lisa. This falls flat, because there is nothing about anything in how Mark reacts that would arouse suspicion. What should arouse suspicion is when Mark says, quite out loud, that he’s seeing a married woman. Granted, Lisa and Johnny aren’t married yet, but he makes it very clear that he’s in an affair with someone else. Peter’s gut feeling about Mark has already been piqued (and it would make sense here), but Johnny seems as oblivious as ever. He even jokes about how he might take Mark’s girl away from him, even though he’s supposed to be a faithful future husband.

Johnny then mentions that he’s got some problems. And even though he already asked Peter to play psychologist for him, Johnny angrily rebukes him with, “Pee’er! Yoo aw’ways play sahkawlojist wifv us!” when Peter very innocently asks if Johnny wants to talk about it. He then repeats the information about Lisa having an affair and him not knowing what to do. Peter’s advice is for Johnny and Lisa to not keep their feelings on the matter a secret from one another. This is also an option, but again must be done carefully. It also may not be the best option, given Peter’s lack of any real understanding of what is going on between his friends. He then says that, ‘people are people,’ and that sometimes they can’t see their own faults. This non-advice has no context in this situation. And then we get one doozy of a non-sequitur when Mark announces that he’s thinking of moving to a bigger place, because he’s making some good money. Since this is as off-topic as it can possibly get, one can assume that it’s just something that didn’t get deleted during rewrites of the script.

Mark breaks the tension by asking the others if they’re running in Bay to Breakers. For anyone not living in San Francisco, it’s a yearly footrace where the runners participate while wearing outlandish costumes. Johnny is, but Peter declines. This results in Johnny calling Peter a chicken, and squawking out a shrill, “Cheep-chip-chip-chip-cheeeeeep!” You might be thinking that chickens don’t make that noise, but that’s because certain animal noises are perceived differently in Europe, as opposed to the US. In Europe, owls say ‘too-whoo.’ In America, they say ‘hoot-hoot.’ You might recall that Wiseau is Polish, so that explains his bizarre reaction. But they guys continue to recall all of the beautiful women they saw at the race last year, including a woman in a bridal gown with a sign that read, ‘Marry Me.’ Johnny, even though he’s supposed to be the faithful one, says that he considered taking her up on her proposal. Mark then muses about how he never ate so much. They were just talking about women. Has Mark been eating the women he encounters?

Peter, who has been in the background groping the scenery this whole time, changes the subject and tries to start a game of cards. Johnny declines, saying that Lisa will be home any minute. And Peter, that rat bastard, asks Johnny how he met Lisa, which initiates a boring and unengaging story. Johnny relates the story of how he came to San Francisco (a city that you only move to if you’re already rich) with only two suitcases and a two thousand dollar check that he couldn’t cash. Why not? Because it was an out of state bank. You can cash a check at any bank that you’re signed with, no matter where you go in the country, just in case you didn’t know. Johnny should have known that, because he’s a banker. One day, Johnny was working as a busboy at a hotel and was serving Lisa’s table, and he said ‘hai’ to her. He didn’t ask her out. He just greeted her. The most interesting part? On their first date, Lisa paid for dinner. Why is that interesting? Some people believe that the man should pay for everything on a first date. Typically, what actually happens is that whoever initiated the date is the one who pays.

Even though Johnny just said that he was expecting Lisa, he asks if the guys want anything to eat. The guys don’t say anything, but Johnny leaves anyway, just as Lisa walks in the door. With Denny! Arm yourselves!

Thankfully, Denny takes himself out of the scene by staring blankly out a nearby window while Mark and Lisa share some awkward dialogue where Mark excuses himself and hurriedly leaves. Immediately after, Peter leaves with only a silent wave.

Denny puts himself back into the scene by sitting on the floor and asking if Lisa picked a wedding gown yet. Of course Lisa hasn’t, and even Denny seems smart enough to know that this is unusual, since the wedding is only a month away. For anyone who hasn’t gone through it, wedding gowns are booked months in advance. Even though Johnny wasn’t present, Denny points out that Johnny doesn’t seem very excited about the wedding, and wonders if there’s a problem. Denny hasn’t been present for any of that turmoil, yet he seems to know the details of it. Then he stands up and asks Lisa to tell Johnny he said ‘hello.’ Then he leaves.

Cut to the rooftop, where Peter steps through the access door. Now that he’s been introduced, Peter sure is making a lot of appearances. But, what’s this? Mark is already up there. And he’s smoking what may or may not be a joint. It’s hard to tell, since the photography in this film is so poor. But why the hell is Mark smoking it on the roof, and not in his apartment? Usually, the first choice of anyone who smokes weed is to do it in their own home. Mark offers Peter a hit, but Peter declines. He asks Mark what’s going on, and Mark spirals into self-pitying. Peter admonishes Mark for smoking his drugs (just say ‘no,’ kids), and then he correctly guesses that it’s Lisa that Mark is cheating with.

Normally when somebody smokes as much weed as Mark is implied to have done just now, they’re pretty mellow. Instead, he reacts in a way that befits a serial killer, as he tries to throw Peter over the edge of the building. The effort is pretty feeble and ineffective, but we’re supposed to interpret this as a suspenseful moment. Peter’s effort to resist is equally weak, but he still manages to push Mark away. They stare at each other blankly, and Mark offers a very bland apology. This must happen a lot, because Peter forgives Mark very easily. Or maybe we were just supposed to think it was the drugs.

Mark still hasn’t got the ‘mean’ out of his system and kicks a nearby table apart. Then he confesses the nature of his affair to Peter. Peter’s advice on the matter? Life is complicated, and you must take responsibility for it. How did this guy pass the bar for his degree? He then changes course and says that Lisa is a sociopath who only cares about herself and can’t love anyone. Then why did he want Johnny to marry her before?

Let’s talk about being a sociopath now. This is a word that’s thrown around by a lot of people on social media, and I haven’t seen it once used correctly. Nor is it used correctly here in the film. The only actual criteria that Lisa meets for being a sociopath is her lying about Johnny hitting her. However, she does show four major symptoms of having borderline personality disorder. One must exhibit five symptoms to be properly diagnosed, so she’s only on the verge of being borderline (rimshot). This has nothing to do with anything, but another psychological term that gets thrown around a lot is people claiming to have PTSD. This one is particularly offensive, because PTSD is pretty serious, and the people who claim to have it very often don’t.

Personal gripes aside, Mark very casually brushes off what Peter just told him, and they exit through the nearby rooftop access.

Cue the end of this segment of analysis.

The plotholes and inconsistencies just keep getting bigger around here. Character attitudes and motivations are changing from scene to scene, and it’s not because of any recognizable growth or development. Instead, it’s because the plot seems to be getting lost in a staggering number of efforts to make us think that Johnny is a good person.

Behind the scenes, however, Tommy Wiseau doesn’t seem to be such a paragon. The reason that Peter was groping the background during his scene was because the actor who played him had a concussion, and his depth perception was skewed because of it.

There seems to be a running theme of Denny wanting to stop by and visit Johnny, but they keep missing each other. The only real way that this might have any kind of significance is if Denny really sees Johnny as the father he never had, but Johnny’s never around. This could play into the idea that Johnny actually isn’t such a good person, but the notions of Johnny’s sainthood are still put up to the forefront, where the rest of the cast seems to put his wellbeing first.

Being a SoCal native, to honor this entry’s drug-hazed scene, tonight’s movie will be the stoner-comedy classic, ‘Super Troopers.’ See you next time.