I can't make 1000 words from this idea... · 9:23am Apr 27th, 2023
...so here it is.
Flim-Flamsir
E for everyone; Comedy; Random; Cutie Mark Crusaders; Flim and Flam; Diamond Tiara; Babs Seed
"Ah would like," Apple Bloom said, hopping up to her rear hooves to see over the edge of the counter, "t'regsiter a complaint."
Flim and Flam looked at her. "Oh, really?" they said in harmony.
"Granny wants me to say: 'Y'all sold us low-quality copper ingots'."
Sweetie Belle and Dinky unhitched from the wagon and collapsed on the grass.
"Why isn't your granny here herself?" Flim asked.
"Because," Diamond Tiara said, shouldering Apple Bloom out of the way, "We had to cross Chimera Swamp, griffon mating season, and the timberwolf migration to get here."
"We brung Gabby with us," Babs Seed said, "Making this an all-CMC mission, but when we reached the griffon mating season, Gabby hit Gallus over the head and dragged him away by the tail. We then doubled back and got Twist, but she joined the timberwolf migration."
"That's why I'm here," Dinky said, standing up, still panting from hauling the heavily loaded wagon. "After they tripled-back, they grabbed me as the emergency reserve Crusader."
"What about you?" Flam asked Diamond Tiara.
"I'm their negotiator," Diamond said, flipping her mane and grinning. "You agreed to sell Granny high-quality copper ingots, correct?"
"Correct," said the Flim Flams.
"But in fact," Diamond said, with a gotcha tone of voice, "you sold her dried hydra poo that had the words 'fine quality copper' written on the logs in crayon?"
"We maintain that granny accepted the ingots at the time," said Flim.
"How do we know you didn't replace our fine quality copper with dried hydra poop?" said Flam.
"Because," Diamond Tiara replied, "there's a hydra tied to a stake behind your stand, and he has the words 'copper mine' painted on his chest."
If I can think of how to turn it into a full story, I'll write it up and subject the New Column to it someday.
LOL, just make it about the other things, they are way more interesting than the fake copper thing, but keep that and make the brother agree to give back the money and stop this if they can explain how they are still in one piece after what they told them
If you do, make sure that dried hydra droppings are actually more valuable than copper for some reason, be it ultra fertilizer, magical shenanigans or something else, just as a kicker.
Or even better, make it actually be a decent copper replacement (without them knowing it) so that for once they're both scammers and doing fair trades at once.
Sunny Starscout: Let's see what great wisdoms this ancient tome from ages past holds... *Blows away dust* Ah, it is about... ponies complaining that somecreature called "Flam" sells really crappy copper?!?
"That just raises further questions."
"Read the novels."
"We have ponies for that."
And this could definitely be fleshed out past a kiloword if you establish why the Apples needed high-quaity copper in the first place.
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Who wants to bet that sock is currently trying to implement all of our ideas in this fic?
Sorry, this IS a full story. It's just short.
I guess I wrote a story about your problem here, once: "When Nothing Else Remains" [Slice of Life. Rated E for Everyone]