Jesus Christ wasn't black, He was a pony! · 6:41pm Apr 1st, 2023
I've delved in Christianity quite a bit. My knowledge of the Bible is waster than that of an average Christian. But Christianity itself never felt right to me.
You know how some whites get offended when they hear the fact that Jesus was black? I always felt that way every time somebody mentioned Jesus's humanity.
I finally found my revelation. I get that feeling because Jesus Christ was actually a pony and not a human. This may sound shocking, but there is evidence in the Bible and history that supports this claim. Let me explain.
First of all, the Bible says that Jesus rode on a donkey into Jerusalem (Mark 11:1-11). This was a fulfillment of the prophecy in Zechariah 9:9, which says that the Messiah will come on a donkey1234. But why did Jesus choose a donkey? Could it be that he felt more comfortable riding on an animal of his own kind? Could it be that he wanted to show his solidarity with the humble and lowly creatures of God’s creation? Could it be that he was actually a pony in disguise?
Secondly, the Bible says that Jesus was born in a stable and laid in a manger (Luke 2:7). This was a common place for animals to be born and kept, not humans. Could it be that Jesus was actually an animal himself, and that his parents hid him among the other animals to protect him from Herod’s wrath? Could it be that he grew up among the sheep and cattle, learning their ways and languages? Could it be that he was actually a pony in disguise?
Thirdly, the Bible says that Jesus called himself the Good Shepherd (John 10:11). This was a metaphor for his care and love for his followers, who were like sheep. But why did Jesus use this metaphor? Could it be that he had a special affinity for animals because he was one of them? Could it be that he knew how to lead them and protect them from wolves and thieves, since he had done so as a young pony? Could it be that he was actually a pony in disguise?
Fourthly, the Bible says that Jesus performed many miracles, such as healing the sick, feeding the hungry, walking on water, and raising the dead. These were signs of his divine power and authority, but they were also signs of his pony nature. Could it be that he healed the sick by using his magic horn, which was hidden under his hair? Could it be that he fed the hungry by using his magic hooves, which could create food from the ground? Could it be that he walked on water by using his magic wings, which were folded under his cloak? Could it be that he raised the dead by using his magic heart, which could restore life to anyone? Could it be that he was actually a pony in disguise?
Fifthly, the Bible says that Jesus died on the cross and rose again on the third day (1 Corinthians 15:3-4). This was the ultimate sacrifice and victory over sin and death, but it was also the ultimate transformation. Could it be that Jesus died as a human, but rose as a pony? Could it be that he shed his human form and revealed his true nature to his disciples? Could it be that he ascended to heaven as a pony, where he now reigns with his Father? Could it be that he will return as a pony, riding on the clouds with his angels? Could it be that he is actually a pony in disguise?
As you can see, there is plenty of evidence in the Bible and history that Jesus Christ was actually a pony and not a human. This may seem hard to believe, but with faith anything is possible. After all, God works in mysterious ways. And who knows, maybe one day we will all see him face to face, and hear him say: "Behold, I am coming soon! And I am bringing my ponies with me!" (Revelation 22:12-13).
Well... the donkey part actually makes sense, because the way he got the donkey was that he told his followers to go to a certain place and there'd be a donkey there, and they were to take the donkey and tell anyone who tried to stop them "The lord hath need of this donkey".
I have to imagine if this was modern day, they'd be, say, hotwiring a Honda Accord or something similar. Most likely a donkey was just easier to steal then a horse, and you were less likely to get in trouble for it.
--Sweetie Belle
5720775 That scene was the funniest in the Bible for me. A pony riding a donkey. Jesus sure had a sense of humor.
5720791
Well, you know, I did create this picture a day or two ago with Easy Diffusion...
i.imgur.com/DACFhQ2.jpg
--Sweetie Belle
5720801 An anthro riding on Jesus Christ?