I'm here. · 11:47pm Mar 24th, 2023
Haaaaa...where to start?
An apology sounds about right. However, certain details need to be made apparent before I do so: giving them will make things more understandable as to my absense and lack of updating anything.
Life sucks - - > plain and simple.
For those not in the know (most likely 99.9% of you...probably), I was homeless for a while.
6 Years. I wish I was joking.
During that time, I tried my best to keep writing - using the library computer to type and post stuff - but the stress, the depression,of my situation gradually ground away my will to do anything. At one point...suicide found its way into my mind. I was losing my mental health from the sheer hopelessness of my life at that point.
Writing? Creativity? Drive? What were those? Do they taste good? I've forgotten if they do...
One day. I went for a walk to think. I ventured to my old neighborhood, visited my old school, and just thinked as I visited my old hang outs. This is the pasrt where I mention how an old person shows up out of nowhere to give life advice, right? Or some other equally unrealistice epiphany? Yeah...didn't happen.
Instead I came to a decision: Just leave. I was sick and tired of being rejected from every job I applied to. I was sick of my depression; sick of my lack of motivation; pissed at nothing in particular, and fucking livid at this one jackass who asked me for a smoke for the millionth time that fucking day! (I don't smoke. It's bad for you m'k~ay)
Things weren't working out in the city I was living in so I decided to move to another one, which I did....in the spring of next year as it was the beginning of winter.
Things were better...until covid happened. I just managed to get an apartment and a Job! Huzzah! Then immediately let go not even a week into cashier duty because of the lockdown. Fffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuu! Was my only emotion.
Thankfully, the government aid from Canada paid for my apartment and bills. I still tried to look for work again, however. Once the lockdown lifted, I wasn't getting another job anytime soon. So I made another decision: ask family for help.
Now, my relationship with my family isn't good. Like I had the RCMP drag me to jail based on the assumption that I was coming to kill them. From the other side of the fucking country. They promptly got jail time instead for that. Fucking pricks.
Now, not all of my family hates me. My little brother (whom I now share a nice apartment with) are on good terms. He also was having such a hard time with our Discord-raping fuckwits. Like, our immediate family showed up to his place and beat the shit out of him for no reason whatsofucking ever! So I gave him a call and we decided to give the finger to everyone else and move in together. I didn't call him sooner because he was in highschool. So that.
It was a struggle again but this time I managed to get an amazing job (20% employee discount once a month + the ability to order anything in store and have it be delivered just for me the next day for pick up? Yeah, my smuggness when I left with my ps5 was blatantly profound and qute exacerbated. Plus health insurance, and the abilty to choose how many days/hours I can work...and a one dollar premium for every hour I work because I chose the Graveyard shift, which further added security as Overnight Employees arent allowed to have their hours/days reduced by management unlike day crew. Lol.) I've been slowly fixing my life, catching up on missed bills, and other things.
Truthfully, I've forgotten about mlp and fimfiction. QQ, SB, Anime, and AoE took up the time instead. And what brought me back?
Welp, my brother gave me a couple old USBs I used for school that I left behind/lost when I first left and that he found. One of them had some old pony stuff that brought about the nostalgia. Hell! It had an old MS Paint and Notepad txt file of my first ever OC! No, it wasn't Solstice the Griffon or Winter Rose the lewd Pegasus.
It was Blackjack. My shame. An all black unicorn with red-streaked mane. Blegh. I made him all the way back in middleschool during my Chuuni Phase, when I thought trench coats, guns, and being cringe-inducingly edgy was cool. I also based him off of my Fallout New Vegas Character at the time, hence the name Blackjack. 2012 was a great year. Not!
They also had some mlp r34 art. My brother, also a brony, said: "Nice," with a knowing smile when he gave the usbs back. The window looked nice to jump out of at the time as well.
Being reminded of Blackjack also reminded me of the more baddass mare (Go Fish) created by Somber, which lead to FoE, then back to all the fanfiction, and so on. I've been reading my old stuff, and dying on the inside from cringe. Anime/regular fanfiction has some amazing writers that have tainted my eyes with their quality.
So I'm back with a clear head and fresh new ideas!
The Fate Series especially has given me so many ideas! Mordred is best girl! Fight me you basic Saber-face peasants!
As for my plans for my old stuff? Honestly? I'm going to leave them as is. They were a product of a bad mental state and trying to put my mind to work on them only reminds me of those 6 long years. Instead, I'll redo them. Well, A Winter's Rose, at least. There are a lot of problems with that one from pacing, to grammer mistakes and Mary Sue syndrome. I want to give My Girl a better story and I feel my heart will be a lot happier if I do.
As for Blackjack? Puss in Boots: The Last Wish has given me an idea, same with "A Chaotic Touch of Harmony," and The Last Pony on Earth. And Fate. I find it amusing. It will be set in the Equestria Girls universe but not in the way you might think. Wink!
Really, I'm sorry for being gone for so long. I've been reading the comments and they've filled my heart, my soul, with joy knowing that people genuinely enjoyed my stories. I'll take a read of AWR, break it down and rebuild it from the ground up. In the meantime.
Blackjack will have her debut!
Is good to know that you are Ok and well. The most important thing in life especially on this dark times that we are living. May God give both of you Properity for all the ruff experience you endure; and a Happy Life for You both deserve it.
We!come back looking forward to seeing where you take your stories. As for the other stuff depression sucks big time your not alone either I suffer from have been for nearly 20 years if not longer. I can't say I know how it us to be homeless or anything like that. You will always find a way to Survive. I'm glad to hear you're doing better and have found that spark again. Looking forward to seeing what happens in the revamped stories.
Good to know you're doing well, good luck moving forward.
I hope you maintain that special spice that was present in one of your stories. Cinder something. The story was normal but the writing, something present was unique.
Can't remember what on hand, but 'm looking forward to it.
Didn't get the chance to read some of your stories yet, but just wanted to congratulate you for managing to climb out of such a dark situation.
Truly hope that the rest of your life turns out fantastic, so you can forget the struggles that followed you so far.
Same for your brother.
Good luck to both of you.
I'm happy to hear your doing better once more! I wish you happy days ahead!
And while yes, Winter may have been a Mary Sue type character, she was still fun to read! You actually had me looking up some things you wrote about and finding what they were from, which lead to me watching more anime. Ironic that an MLP writer had me interested in Naruto for a long while if only due to me wanting to know what that one special eye could do.
While it is sad to hear you were homeless for that long while, i'm mostly just happy to hear your life has gotten better. And while COVID sucked for everyone, I'm just happy your country was doing more to support you than mine was. I can't wait to hear more from you later!
And welcome back to the Pony Herd~
Holy shit im just glad you are alive. And exited to see what you write. Sorry you had to go through all that,but atleast your future looks brighter
Ngl, did NOT expect you back.
Welcome back
Phew, another author that I missed returned! Sorry to hear about your problems (bad family, blegh!) and I am happy that you're finding your way back to good life! That shows some character.
I hope that things will get better and better, I am rooting for you!)
A welcome return! Glad to hear things have turned around for you. It sounds like you really deserve some happiness. Excited to see what you end up making!
Life is tough its important to get your life together before you can really give to others I learned this the hard way take care of yourself I would be surprised if people here didn't welcome you back with open arms.
Welcome back. You were sorely missed, but life sucks. The important thing is you didn't give in and you are getting back on your feet. When you return there shall be open arms waiting for you. Our numbers are irrelevant for we are legion and shall stand by you.
Sorry all that happened to ya :c
But i am happy to hear you got your life under control now <3
Welcome back and best of luck in all your future endeavors