Rough Draft for this story’s take on ‘Twilight’s Kingdom pt 1&2’ · 7:20pm Jan 20th, 2023
so just tell me how this is. i have yet to insert jokes into this rendition, and this is far from coming out(I got a few bonus chapters and two other chapters planned to come out before this). so if it sucks, lemme know and we won’t tall about this rough draft:
Rough draft of Chrysalis Kept Stealing the POV From Me
(Fruit’s POV)
So uh, I guess this is a thing now. Somebody got found in an alleyway, basically dead, and drained of all his magic. I don’t know why or how the hell his magic got drained, but I suppose it’s going to be my problem soon. You see, I am currently in Manehattan on vacation, just wandering around. I got to see the Statue of Harmony, and even see how much better with air pollution this place was in comparison to regular ol’ New York City. it was way nicer, and way cooler looking.
For now, however, I’m just going to sit in my hotel room and pretend like I probably won’t die in the meantime. That’s a favorite pastime of mine, y’know? Thinking about dying, the dark void that is the afterlife and how dreadful and unbearing it is. Like what is on the other side? Oh look! Scatter wants a belly rub and I am more than happy to meet her demands! What a cute little Changeling!
I did bring my shotgun and a couple of pipe bombs, because it’s best to be prepared, so if I do run into who ever is draining people of their magic, I will just shoot them on sight. How hard can it get? When in doubt, kill the problem as violently as possible!
(Chrysalis’s POV)
“So Celestia, why have you summoned me today? We have had no meetings planned after all, so this must be quite important,” I asked as… Why is Cadence and Luna here? Well, mostly Luna gave her mostly nocturnal sleeping patterns. “Did somepony get murdered and you would like to have one of my drones investigate it? Because that can be arranged very easily.”
“No Chrysalis, this news is far graver than you might think. Have you heard of Lord Tirek?” Celestia asked. I nodded. “I believe you also understand the threat he imposes on your Hive, should he decide to drain them of magic as well, correct?” I nodded again. “Then I would like to ask for your personal assistance if Tirek does manage to get into the Crystal Empire. Fortunately, I have summoned Discord to track down and defeat Tirek for us, so hopefully it shouldn’t come down to this.”
I nodded. “We could just have Fruit Punch get on the case, Princess, he had bested everypony, aside from any alicorns or Changeling Queens, he’s met in singular combat. And that’s mostly because he is friends with two of all four alicorns in existence, and is currently dating the only Changeling Queen he knows is nearby, and has a very strong preference of not hurting said Changeling Queen.”
“Chrysalis, I highly doubt Fruit will be able to take down a magically empowered, evil creature like Tirek. Even if he currently has his guards with him, Fruit will struggle, if not fail to bring down Tirek.” In the corner, Twilight is moping in the corner, probably having learnt of Discord being the pony to be chosen over her to take down this new threat. “And I don’t think Fruit would bring his weaponry on vacation, since I think he would just like to rest and relax after being stuck in the dungeons with you for a day and a half.”
“Well, I suppose I should tell my Hive to lock down and go into hiding; pony and changeling magic would make defeating Tirek difficult should he ever become a problem.
(Fruit’s POV)
Okay so, it’s been about a week since the first pony showed up, and now there is a lovely headline on a newspaper that I was reading while I walked along. I told my guards to stay nice and safe in my hotel room, and said I would be safe with a couple muskets, two pipe bombs, and my shotgun. Luckily they actually listened, because they knew I was looking out for their well being, and stayed at the hotel room with a couple muskets to defend themselves should they have to.
Oh right, the newspaper. So it turns out that Discord got reformed and I never got to speak with him yet, which is odd since he likes chaos and chaos reigns wherever I go. The most important part about that fact is that… he found out who was stealing magic, it was the magic eating centaur I read up on a while ago. The main problem is, he is now helping that centaur steal magic from ponies, and sorta stole a whole crowd’s worth of magic today. So I’m a tiny bit on edge while heading down to the market for some apples.
I just had a craving for some apples, because I’m still unmedicated and forgot my dandelions at home, so here I am. Also, Skitter and Scatter wanted some apples, so like, it was fair that I go buy a bunch of apples for them. What? They are really good at doing puppy eyes, okay? Like it’s to the point where it’s so damn cute that I can’t not do what they ask of me. They don’t even know that I find it adorable, they just do it unintentionally and I can’t help myself. So I squish their faces and promptly go get them whatever they want.
Why is everybody running in fear?
“Ah Fruit Punch! I’ve been meaning to meet you in person for a while now!” oh hey, a creature that looked like a snake had sex with at least forty different animals popped in out of nowhere. I think this was discord, but I’m not so sure. “How’s it going, my little chaos maker?” Somehow, he got himself a whole tea set and started mixing some sugar into a tea cup that wasn’t there. “By the way, I love what you did to Twilight and her friends while pretending to be a fast food worker- unfortunately, we cannot talk for very long, for I have a friend that needs your magic.”
With that, Discord took the lid off of his tea kettle and out came a red and black centaur… that is one ugly bitch. “Yo, I got something better for you than unicorn magic.” I pulled out a pipe bomb, a nice, strong pipe bomb. “This here is a magic container. You see, I’m currently stealing other ponies’ magic as well, because I want to become an alicorn and burn this country to the ground, but if you need it more than I do to reach the same goal, then you can have it!”
“What a strange device… you say this contains a lot of magic, correct?”
“Yessir! Just spare my life and this can be yours! And if you think I’m tricking you, I am not even a pony. I’m just an alien in a pony’s body, and I absolutely hate friendship!” God hope this works. “All you gotta do,” I handed the pipe bomb to Tirek. “Twist the bottom of the device and then shove it in your mouth!” Tired rubbed his chin before giving me a twisted grin.
“You have messed up, Pony. for I will not spare your life, and you have just expedited how much magic I will gain!” And… he’s sucking my magic out of my body. Man, this does not feel good. I feel like a smelly, steamy sack of shit that’s on fire, and my head penis hurts now. Wow, what a great plan I have, and now I’m going to die. Tirek finished draining me, twisted the bottom of the pipe bomb, and popped it in his mouth.
He threw me to the ground shortly afterwards.
(Chrysalis’ POV)
“So your new plan… is to have me, yourself, and the rest of the alicorns in Equestria go and give all of our magic to Twilight, correct?”
“That is correct. Discord has… strayed away from our good graces and has joined Tirek. This is our last hope of stopping Tirek once and for all. All we must do now is buy Twilight Sparkle time after we have lended her our magic, and pray that she, with all our magic, can defeat our old foe.” I shrugged, and did as told, and directed a spell at Twilight, who had a very serious look on her face. I fired it at her and… I could feel my magic leave my body. I feel so… drained and empty now.
Now the only thing on my mind was fear and worry. Will my Hive be safe? Has Fruit Punch managed to keep himself and his guards safe- a giant ‘kaboom’ shook the entire palace and everypony blinked a couple times. What in the world just… happened? Did Tirek just make his way to the Crystal Empire? Well… it’s been a long run, but maybe, just maybe I will finally see an end. I wish the end could’ve been after Fruit Punch proposed to me, but I feel… at ease with the new situation unfolding.
(Back to Fruit)
I groaned as I picked myself up off the ground. What the heck just happened? Oh… Tirek’s head is on the ground next to me with a shocked expression. Why the hell is everybody around me cheering? Like bro, my head hurts, and so does my entire body! Like dude, please, please shut the hell up. I don’t care about what’s happening, I just want to buy my apples! “Somebody send a message to Canterlot! The Princesses must be told about what this incredible stallion has done for us!”
What was the mayor going on about? I don’t fucking know. I began to check myself over and… I have wings now. What? Wait no, those are just scrap marks from when Tirek threw me across the ground. On the bright side, I’m not dead, and… oh wat? Okay, so those scrapes aren’t just scrapes, those are feathers. Why do I have wings? Oh god no, stop. I don’t want wings, I pondered the fact, but I really don’t want wings. I’m scared of heights, please do not- my wings popped out and… jesus christ, I’m an alicorn now.
Uh… I got up and slunk away into an alleyway after everybody stopped staring at me. Why the fuck do I have wings? Why couldn’t I stay a unicorn? Why the hell am I dragging Tirek’s head with me? Like bro, why… I pulled out a radio. “Hey Skitter, Scatter? Are y’all still at the hotel?”
“Yes sir, we’ve been playing checkers and heard an explosion and have been hiding under the bed.”
“Cool, meet me at the train station in ten minutes. I wanna go home. I just killed a man.”
“Sir? What are yo-”
“Don’t ask, please. I have another situation that I really do not want to talk about until we meet up.”
Ten minutes later, I was at the train station, and Scatter and Skitter dropped in from the ceiling out of nowhere. “Fruit! Are you… why do you have wings?” Skitter paused as he looked at the centaur’s head I was dragging around. “And why are you dragging Tirek’s head with you… you killed Tirek didn’t you?”
“I got him to swallow a pipe bomb and he exploded, I guess.”
“Good work, sir. Let’s head back to Canterlot as soon as possible.”
(Chrysalis’s POV)
“Tirek is dead. They said some light brown alicorn was found at the scene of Tirek’s body, which was blown to smithereens. To the point that only his head was remaining. It, according to eyewitnesses, was a rather gruesome sight to behold, but they were just glad the Tirek was taken down.” Twilight’s jaw dropped and her head hung lower. Mine, and the rest of the alicorns have had their magic restored and I was no longer wishing for death. As for Fruit’s whereabouts, I have not been notified recently by Skitter or Scatter, which is mildly concerning.
Suddenly another messenger ran into the throne room, bowed, and handed Celestia the envelope. “Chrysalis, you… may want to have a look at this.” I was handed a photo while Celestia began to read. “The light brown alicorn mysteriously disappeared, along with Tirek’s head, shortly after the discovery of said brown alicorn. This ‘unknown prince’ seemed to be genuinely shocked about having wings.”
“But… aren't there only four alicorns?” Twilight asked, now genuinely shocked at that.
“It appears we have a new one, and I know him very well,” I said before turning the photo around and levitating it over to Twilight. “Fruit seems to be the one responsible for Tireks death… and he looks quite sexy while covered in his fallen enemy’s blood if I must say so,” I grinned. Now I get to permanently keep Fruit Punch for the rest of eternity! Before we could continue, a magical mirror popped up in front of my face, and there Fruit was.
“Hey Chryssy, I dunno if you got the news or not, but I think I’m an alicorn now. I don’t know why, I don’t know how, for all I know, I am drunk and this is a hangover… uh happy birthday, I guess?” Fruit levitated Tirek’s head up and I began to smile. “I found the guy that was stealing magic, so that’s cool! And I learnt that pipe bombs are insanely effective at ending free trials of life for immortal centaurs, so that’s cool. Also, I met Discord for the first time, and I wanna gut him for introducing me to Tirek.”
Fruit yelped. “And can somebody help me fold these wings? I don’t think a human being should have access to six separate limbs, ever. Especially me! I want- oh thanks Skitter for the booze.” With that, the magical portal disappeared and everypony just sat and blinked.
“Well, on the bright side, Tirek won’t be taking over Equestria any time soon,” I chuckled, thinking of what my favorite little stallion would look like with the stature of Celestia. Now, from now on, he can no longer complain about his vertically challenged stature, since I believe he will no longer be short in a couple of years.
This, is actually pretty good.