Do you want to know what I learned a few weeks ago?

I asked my grandma about if grandad has ever actually eaten or had the chance to try a pancake, and she said no.

It's official - grandad, at the age of 85, has yet to rid himself of his pancake virginity. One day, I plan to make him some to try. A life without pancakes isn't worth living.

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Ladies and gentlemen, I have just gotten back from guitar hospital (AKA my garage) and I have had a look at my black and white strat, my first guitar, to assess the damage.

Being as old as it is, the metal has rusted in places and has gotten some signs of wear on it. To be honest, the guitar itself is a junior guitar designed for young children to learn to play on, so with that being said, it's obvious that the parts used on it during its production were quite cheap and on a budget.

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I decided to do something a few days ago, people.

For those of you that know that I'm a musician and a guitar enthusiast, I told you of how I thought about making an instrumental demo debut album and creating a makeshift 7'' record sleeve for it. Well, some primer, spray paint and ink later, I ended up with two similar products that have my band name, which is my grandmother's name, and the title for the album underneath it, 'Sore'.

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I've just had one of the most bizarre dreams I think I've ever had...

I had a dream that I had turned into a woman, or at least, I was a woman that thought she was a guy! Crazy, right?!

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Okay, so to get right into this, I had a dream a few nights back about something that I thought wouldn't really affect me anymore.

I was dreaming of my deceased guinea pig, Oscar. I don't know what it is, but this is actually my second year without that pig in my life, and February the 9th marks that day that he died. Being as close as I was with him ever since I brought him home as a 6-week-old puppy, I fell in absolute love with him.

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You know something, ladies and gentlemen? I think we've all, at some point in out fandom, had that one thought come to us that said that fans of MLP need an anthem.

Well, we have one! It was made by Forest Rain and it's called Join the Herd. It's great, it's catchy, it's a parody of You're Gonna Go Far Kid by The Offspring, and it's glorious.

Unfortunately, I'm on my phone in college right now, so I'm afraid you're gonna have to surf that video on YouTube yourself.

A mullatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido!

You know??

(I'm pretty sure you'll get it if you're a 1990's kid.)

If you're English, then you refer to this product as 'chewee', but if you're American, then you likely know it as 'gum'.

I have one thing to ask all of you out there - do you find the habit of chewing it rather addictive?

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(Yeah, this isn't meant to be taken seriously, so I just want to clarify that. This is actually something I figured I'd try on the spot as a piece of dark poetry, seeing as I actually like this type of writing.)

It's been a hard life,
Many happy memories and laughs all around,
Merry, merry times a bundle.
So, why, here in this deep pit of black, do I sit?
Did I ask too many questions?
Did I say something unwanted or unintentional?

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Do you ever sit and wonder - ''Why do I tire of counting sheep when I'm far too tired to fall asleep?'' or ''Leave my door open just a crack, for I am an insomniac?''

If that's you out there, please respond and tell me why you think planet Earth turns slowly!