Prologue: Unsound Slumber
Rainbow Dash rolled over in her bed, trying to get comfortable against the clouds she lived in. A moment later, she rolled over again, her eyes furrowed in frustration before she let out an explosive sigh and sat up, abandoning sleep entirely. A glance outside showed that the stars were out and twinkling brightly against the sky.
Rainbow sighed again, climbing out of her bed and leaving the covers skewed madly out of place as she left the room and went downstairs for something to drink, shivering slightly in the relative cold of the house. Sure, clouds might have been awesome for comfort, but they were frankly rubbish for insulation and every once in a while, Rainbow had to drain the floors from any water which had decided to take up free lodging in her house.
It wasn’t the worst problem in the world; it was just a minor annoyance. But that minor annoyance meant that the heating inside her house could be somewhat temperamental at the best of times. She grumbled to herself quietly, ramming a hoof into the kitchen wall blindly in search of the light switch.
By a blind stroke of luck she hit it the first time, sparking one of the clouds within the ceiling into life.
Rainbow smiled to herself, and then there were the reasons why living on her own, high in the sky, was so much cooler. It took a special kind of weathermare to be able to control lightning clouds at the snap of her hooves. The room glowed an unearthly blue as the lightning twisted around the cloud and Rainbow began her hunt for a glass.
She kept everything impeccably tidy in her kitchen, one of the reasons for which being that she hardly used any of the stuff in there, the other being that she was trying to prove to herself that she could keep her place tidy… every once in a while.
Once the glass was resting on the top, she took a few steps and opened the fridge, withdrawing a carton of milk a moment later and placing it alongside the glass before shutting the fridge with a well-aimed kick. She yawned loudly before uncapping the milk and pouring a healthy dose into the tumbler, closing the cap again and placing the carton back into the fridge.
Milk safely secured, she took her glass and moved into the next room where a seat or three were arranged in a haphazard pattern, the walls covered in Wonderbolts memorabilia. Rainbow all-but fell into one of the seats, still being careful not to spill a drop of her drink, before looking around the quiet room.
It had been an eventful day, that was for certain. She’d finally figured out the mystery of the mysterious Mare Do Well, but had been left scratching her head when she’d found out who she really was…
Rainbow scoffed quietly before taking a gulp of her drink. She had managed to save two foals from almost-certain death without the aid of magic or Jack and Jill or whatever Applejack called her hooves. At least she’d been an independent hero.
Rainbow shrugged to herself, taking another gulp of milk, it didn’t matter, it was over and done with and she’d been taught a valuable lesson in humility, even if it did leave her questioning just what was valuable and what wasn’t in her friends’ spectrum.
Another swig of milk passed down her throat.
Like she said, it wasn’t worth dwelling on it anymore; even she could see that she’d been laying the bragging on her friends somewhat thickly. It even occurred to her that her friends had constantly been giving her hints about her behaviour. She’d just been too caught up to pay attention again.
Glancing at the nearly-empty glass, she placed it on a small table beside her and stood up, stretching her wings before she turned towards the doorway and slipped outside into the moonlight. A quick glance upwards showed it to be some time past midnight. Rainbow took off silently, looping back a moment later so she landed onto the roof of her house, laying down and looking across Ponyville a moment later.
Everything was still and silent, it was hard to imagine that not two days ago there’d been an influx of panic as carts went freewheeling and dams burst. Everything was just so… normal, so peaceful and so quiet.
Movement caught her eye and she snapped her eyes to the left, looking around for whatever had drawn her gaze. After a moment she dismissed it as a trick of the moonlight, chuckling to herself, “You need to get some sleep Rainbow,” she told herself half-heartedly before getting to her hooves once more and jumping down onto the porch and into the house, shutting and locking the door behind her a moment later.
Down below, a pony in a tight black and blue cloak jumped from rooftop to rooftop, a floppy hat fitted snugly onto its masked head in shades of navy and dark.
It flitted between chimneys, sticking to the shadows and running almost-silently into the quiet night.
The pony paused, waiting, watching, listening.
The pony heard it again and set off, jumping the gap over the street before galloping away over the slated rooftops, closer and closer to the sound.
Eventually the sound distinguished itself into two voices; one was gruff and stiff with a malevolent edge to his words, while the other was almost wheedling, begging even.
The pony slowed down, now just walking along the rooftops as it listened to the conversation below.
“- Don’t care, you know how it works, we help you, then you help us in return. Do you have the money yet?” the gruff voice spoke softly.
The other pony spoke quietly and quickly, “I told you I’m going to have the money in a week, I just need another week.”
“Then it appears we have a problem Mr Sweet. You promised us the money tonight and yet you don’t have it,” the gruff voice spoke calmly, “tell me Mr Sweet, you’re a business-stallion, correct?”
A slight pause echoed up towards the rooftops.
“And what would you do if your customers refused to pay?” the gruff voice continued smoothly.
The pony named Mr Sweet gulped audibly before stammering out, “I- I’d- I-”
A sinister chuckling echoed across Mr Sweets’ voice, gruff and malevolent.
“Now, now, Mr Sweet. All we want to do is to make sure you never do it again.”
Another loud gulp echoed up to the rooftops.
The pony in the cloak smiled to itself, the mask stretching in anticipation. The pony stepped forwards, falling from the rooftops above into the alley far below, landing almost silently as it knelt to the ground.
A quick glance upwards showed that neither of the two ponied had noticed its’ landing. Standing up slowly, the pony crept closer and closer to the duo, one of which was now advancing on the other, presumably Mr Sweet. The pony stepped into the path of the moonlight and waited until it saw Mr Sweets’ eyes widen in surprise and hope as he spotted it.
A moment later, the gruff pony spun around, muscles bunched and taut as he spotted the pony.
Another moment passed, none of them moved a muscle, then the gruff pony started laughing to himself, his grating chuckles echoing horribly against the alley walls.
First mistake.
“That’s low, even for you Sweet,” the gruff pony said, his chuckles dying off as a smirk remained, “to get somepony to play hero as the mysterious Mare Do Well? I’ve got to hand it to you, you certainly have guts.”
Mr Sweet remained silent, his brow slicked with nervous sweat as he shifted his weight from side to side.
The gruff pony snorted quietly, “Although I would have expected you to have heard, it was all a hoax, there’re no real heroes in this town, now tell your friend to back off before I stop seeing the funny side in this.”
Second Mistake.
Silence reigned for a few more moments, then the gruff pony shrugged and turned towards the masked pony, “Fair enough, your conscience,” he muttered to himself before leering at the pony with an almost-jovial derogatory gaze.
He laughed once more and spoke quietly and contemptuously, “Well come on then… hit me with your best shot.”
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No real heroes in this town? Are you kidding me? Even if they think Mare-Do-Well is a hoax... the ponies wearing the mask saved the world.
2486898
Yeah... but they were more of your save-the-world-team-special-forces-type-deal.
This one is more your local-friendly-neighbourhood-watch-type-service-govnor-pone.
2486908
Eh... Has lesson zero happened yet? I'd be terrified if I thought there was any chance Twilight Sparkle was there.
2486947
Yep, Lesson Zero has happened, if that canon order of episodes is expected to have happened.
I really look forward to you finishing up this story. I read "The Games We Play", which was a Mare Do Well story, and it was insane. I hope this is more of a romance than a psychological story. Keep up the great writing!
If that's Twi behind the mask, I can't wait to read on.
Fantastic opening, by the way.
This is gonna be soooooooo good, I hope
Seriously who down votes a 1.4k words Prologue?
2487165
Can't say I've read it, but from what I've seen of it...
I don't think you'll have anything to fear.
2487443
Nah, Rarity obviously.
And thanks
2487908
That makes two of us then.
And I could give a list... but that's just going to be like pulling teeth for all it'll accomplish.
Alright... good to see this seems to have garnered some attention at least.
Now, enjoy your suspence, I'm off on a pointless journey around the world so I can procrastinate on this.
(i.e. you'll have your chapters soon)
This is really good. You had a few issues with run-on sentences, using commas instead of periods, but the story seems really solid. I'll be watching this.
2489640 I'll hope then.
And you're most welcome.
How often is this gonna update? I hate cliffhangers!
This is a good beginning. The narration flows well, and I liked the reasoning behind 'cloud technology' and Rainbow's realization that not only she laid the bragging thickly, but also that her friends tried to warn her before resorting to Mare Do Well.
I found the entire narration very good, but here are my favorite lines, either because of the way they were written, the subject or both;
'climbing out of her bed and leaving the covers skewed madly out of place,'
'Rainbow had to drain the floors from any water which had decided to take up free lodging in her house,'
'By a blind stroke of luck she hit it the first time,'
'the other being that she was trying to prove to herself that she could keep her place tidy… every once in a while,'
'Rainbow all-but fell into one of the seats,'
'even if it did leave her questioning just what was valuable and what wasn’t in her friends’ spectrum,'
'a floppy hat fitted snugly onto its masked head in shades of navy and dark,'
'It flitted between chimneys,'
'one was gruff and stiff with a malevolent edge to his words,'
'muscles bunched and taut as he spotted the pony'
and
'his grating chuckles echoing horribly against the alley walls.'
I also found the lines 'before shutting the fridge with a well-aimed kick' and 'At least she’d been an independent hero' to fit Rainbow's character well.
"Don't kill me! Please, don't kill me!!!"
"I'm not going to kill you. I want you to do me a favour. Tell all your friends about me. Tell them to stay out of my property. Tell them not to go out at night."
"You... You're crazy! You don't own the night!"
"You're right. I... AM... the Night!"