The Coming of Tam O' Canter and Heather Bloom O' Red Hoof to Ponyville

by De Writer

Chapter 7: Dinner at the Pink Note

Word was buzzing all about the Ponyville market, from stall to stall. Ponies not working the sales stalls were gathered in clumps to discuss the news. The visitors, those strange unicorns, had just bought the entire two thousand acres of the Boggy Commons, including the two topped hill. What they could possibly want with such worthless land was the main object of much discussion.

Another topic was the wealth of the mare of the two. Mayor Mare would not reveal how much money the mare Heather Bloom was worth except to say that, “It is a very substantial sum.”

It was Derpy, of all ponies, flying by on her mail route who dropped the bomb, figuratively speaking, along with a few letters. Pausing to gather the letters that had escaped from her bag, she said casually, “Oh, you're talking about Lady Red Hoof? I just looked her up in the Canterlot Social Register. She is the third richest pony in all of Equestria. According the the latest update, her fortune is somewhere around eight billion golden bits. Only Princess Celestia and Princess Luna have more money.” With that, she tucked away the last of her stray letters, asked hopefully, “Muffin?” When nopony offered one, she took off.

One of the shell-shocked listeners remarked, “The Social Register? Why didn't we think of that? Sometimes I wonder just how much is really going on in Derpy's head. Eight BILLION? She has to have made another mistake.”

Binder, the used book dealer, pulled out a thick volume. He laid it out on his counter and began to page through it. Looking up, he pronounced, “Nope. Derpy is right or else the Canterlot Social Register is wrong.”

Sawnax the Earth pony observed, “She was just over to my lumberyard inquiring about the prices of timbers and plank.” He grinned in a mean way as he added, “Maybe I should raise my prices a few bits on her. She can easily afford it.”

Rocart the Unicorn stone mason said, “You could, and it would not be the first time that you did it, either. When I needed those thirty planks for framing work, Curmbway double counted some and we only had twenty seven when we got to the work site.”

Nettled, Sawnax retorted, “Your own fault! You should have counted them too.”

Calmly Rocart replied, “Tried to, four times, Curmbway dragged me off in mid count three times and YOU dragged me off the last time. You assured me that the load was right and sent me out to make room for the next cart.

“Wouldn't make good your error either, if error it was. And I think it was not. I now get my lumber elsewhere. Those three planks that were sharped from me have cost you over a hundred from my work already. Greater losses by far are to come. I've an appointment and must go.” Rocart turned his rump to the furious Sawnax and sauntered away toward his business office.

A few hours later, the more observant ponies at the market saw the mysterious Lady Red Hoof and her companion, Tam, emerge from the office of Rocart and go across to the architect Houser. They were there for quite a long time.

While Tam and Heather Bloom were in Houser's office, Daphne came to the market. She circulated quietly, listening to the bee hive roar of gossip about the Lady Red Hoof and her companion. She paid particular attention to what the various merchants were saying. After hearing the multitude of opinions, she trotted across to Houser's office and went in.

It was nearly evening when the three of them came out of Houser's office. Heather Bloom was in a jubilant mood and Tam was all smiles. Daphne was following them with an expression something like adoration on her face.

Sawnax tried to interpose his impressive bulk between Daph and Heather Bloom, snorting, “Buzz off, brat. Quit bothering Her Ladyship!”

Tam was even faster than Heather Bloom in turning. His massively muscled shoulder slamming Sawnax aside effortlessly.

In spite of the sheer force that he had just used, he spoke mildly. “Do come with us, Daph. The way is cleared o obstruction. Dinner and entertainment it is that we are in need o now.

“Tomorrow, after Miss Cherrilee lets ye out o the schooling will be time enough to go see Miss Rarity about a proper livery fer ye, so that bumpkins o this stripe shall know that it is fer us as a page that ye work.”

Sawnax was just about to snap at Tam when he realized that besides his sheer power, Tam's big dirk was out of its sheath and floating solidly in the grip of a bright yellow, clearly powerful, Unicorn magic. Tam was regarding Sawnax with an utterly calculated and calm demeanor.

Tam turned his head to stare directly at Sawnax as he said, “Ye have offended both Her Ladyship Heather Bloom, Duchess O' Red Hoof, and Daphne Crager, page to her Ladyship. Before ye move from that spot, ye must make yer apology to them or it shall go hard fer ye.”

Sawnax lifted a back corner of his mouth and blew a raspberry through the lifted lip. Turning his back, he tried to take a step and fell flat. A golden glow of unicorn magic faded from his hooves as he scrambled for his feet. He made another attempt to leave and fell again the same way.

Tam watched with amusement. “I did say it that ye shall not leave this spot until yer apology be made and accepted.” The dirk flipped back into its sheath as he added, “Tis nay weapon that I'll be needing fer ye. Speak yer part and that civilly or stay here past the rise o the moon. Tis all the same to me.”

As Sawnax fell the third time, he realized that Tam was perfectly serious. And worse, Tam was amused at the predicament of his adversary. Ducking his head he said sullenly, “I apologize for my inadvertent error, Your Ladyship. I thought that the child was being a pest and tried to . . .” was as far as he got. He was in mid turn to leave while still speaking when he fell heavily again.

Heather Bloom, staring hostilely down at him, cut him off by interrupting, “Cease yer lie, Mister Sawnax. When ye seen our Daph go into Houser's to join us, ye snooped her with the Mayor's office. Yer complaint o her fail fer she's her signed permission o work fer us from her parents.

“Ye did find also her complaint of theft. Her heroic part in the capture o yer worker Curmbway has put him to the gaol. This was nay pleasing to ye according to what Mayor Mare send to us.

“Ye did know full well what it were that ye did. I'll nay take from ye any lie.” She cocked her head, looking down at him.
The brightly lit sky behind her made a menacing silhouette, seeming all black, the crooked horn and the fangs showing plainly. Sawnax cringed, and tried, “Don't harm me further! I . . .”

Daphne cut him off with, “They haven't harmed you at all, Mister Sawnax! A colt playing dodge ball in the schoolyard gets hut worse than you are and laughs because the game is fun. Apology. Now. Or I get daddy and swear out an assault charge. Then both you and Curmbway can compare stories while you sit in the jail until Monday's hearing.”

Daphne planted a small hoof solidly on the side of the fallen Sawnax's neck, her weight and the placement of her foot keeping him down. She added, “Her Ladyship and I are waiting.”

Sawnax took a moment to digest the idea that a young filly could get away with saying and doing something like that to HIM. Shocked, he thought, “This isn't right! I'm always the big one. Big ones like me are supposed to get whatever we want!” Aloud he said sullenly, “Your Ladyship, I apologize for interrupting your outing.”

To Daph, Heather Bloom said, “Remove yer hoof, Daph. Go fer the constable. He has nay said apology fer ye.”

As Daph lifted her forefoot, Sawnax desperately said, “Forgive me for bumping you like that, Daphne! I am sorry!”

Daphne nodded quietly and said, “I am sure that you are sorry that your ploy failed. However, you have said what my Lady Red Hoof required of you. So long as your behavior is civil while you arise, you may leave.”

Tam looked down at her approvingly. As Sawnax got to his feet and retreated Tam suggested, “Daph has played the hero to us and fought on our behalf. This is not a page's work, nor should it be a page's wage. Let us raise her to Carline. She has both spirit and courage as well as good sense.”

Daphne eyebrows shot up and her mouth dropped open. Heather Bloom just nodded and said, “So my thought is too, Tam, my Heart.

“Daphne, would ye do us the honor o serving us as a Free Carline, rather than simple page?”

Daph pulled herself together enough to make a good curtsy, formally folding her forelegs. Looking up in pure adoration, she replied, “It would be my honor, Your Ladyship.”

Tam reached out with his horn and lifted the young filly to her feet, saying, “The honor's ours, Carline Daph. Tis twice now that ye've fought fer the right o things and fer us as well.

“Now wad ye be so good as to recommend a good place for food and a bit of entertainment?”

Daph looked about and pointed with her right hoof. “The Pink Note is one of the best around. It is a smallish café and bar with light jazz live on stage. Daddy took me there for my birthday. I couldn't have any of the bar drinks but I hear that they are really good. I have heard you mention liking barley beer and they have it on tap, not just in bottles.”

At the mention of barley beer on tap, Tam brightened up considerably. Heather Bloom smiled and said, “If their beer be as good as the recommendation, ye need another raise. Not going to get it, though. Will sweet alfalfa hay and almond pastries do in its place fer now?”

Daphne led the way proudly. Over her shoulder she said, “All the other fillies and colts at school are green with envy.

None of them has a paying job after school, like I do. Now, about all that they can tease me about is still being a blank flank.”

She held the door of the Pink Note open for Tam and Heather Bloom to enter. The place had a light and airy feel that was helped by tastefully chosen colors and pleasantly relaxing, longish waved, white super-graphic around the walls of the main room. A small three piece ensemble was, as promised, playing soft, easy listening jazz.

There were few patrons at this time of day. A cheerful unicorn pony with a cherry red and brown mane and tail trotted up, menus in her mouth. Laying out the menus, she introduced herself, “Hello, I am Cherry Mocha. Welcome to the Pink Note. May I get you anything while you make up your minds what to order?”

Tam promptly requested, “Twill be a pitcher o yer barley beer on tap and twa chilled mugs fer it. That be fer my Lady and I. Daph, what want ye?”

Daphne smiled and said, “An iced cherry mocha fizz for me, please, Cherry. Bring us all an appetizer plate of assorted nut topped pastries too, if you would. Be sure that there is at least one nice almond one for Her Ladyship. Thank you.”

Cherry's eyes widened a bit at the “Her Ladyship” and she trotted off quickly to fill the order. Heather Bloom pointed out, “Daph, we are trying to leave that Canterlot title foolishness behind us. Here, we are but Heather Bloom and Tam.”

Daphne replied without contrition, “The problem is, that cat is already out of the bag. Since ponies around here already know that there are members of the Royal Court here in Ponyville, letting more ponies know who you are will help to prevent frauds, among other things. It is likely to get you better service as well.”

Cherry Mocha returned laden with a tray which she set carefully on a service stand. Smiling, she set out the big pitcher with drops of moisture forming along its sides from the chilled contents. Tam and Heather Bloom got big mugs that were also chilled.

Cherry Mocha carefully took the try of snacks by the jaw grip and laid it neatly on the table so the three of the pastries faced Heather Bloom. All had a light and flaky crust. One had seasoned apple and honey filling. Another was peach filled and the third filled berries. They were all liberally topped with flaked almonds.

The rest of the pastries were an assortment of Sugar Cube Corner's best work. The feast that followed was a merry one.

At the end of their dining, Tam and Heather Bloom called Cherry Mocha to the table. With a smile, Tam said quietly, “We've a tip fer ye, Cherry, lass. Here, a pair o bits o silver. We've also a complaint of yer price.”

Cherry looked downcast and said, “I try to keep my prices as fair as I can. What more can I do?”

Tam pointed at the payment tray with a hoof. “Ye can take what we think fair fer such a fine dinner and music as ye have provided us.” With the palest of yellow magic, he laid down along side the coins already there another row of silver and golden bits. “Our complaint of ye is that ye charged not enough at all.”

As Cherry was staring wide eyed at the money, Heather Bloom was getting up from her seat at the table and said, “Ye may count on our further patronage, my dear. It is back that we shall be and that many a time indeed.”

Tam, Heather Bloom and Daphne took their leave into the Equestrian night.

Author's Note:

For the curious, the houshold rankings of the ancient Celts and Vikings were quite similar. There were slaves, whose children were free persons from the moment of birth. Next were Indentured debtors, who would join the household as free people after a set time of service. pages, who were paid by reward for good service and were the free children of friends, relatives or others who wished to see their families rise in rank. Carls or Carlines were free and serving by choice and oath. Above them were only the direct members of the Landholding Family.

Comments

[CoffeeRings]

I love how the complaint is that the place is too good for the amount charged.