G.N.D: A My Little Dashie Sequel

by Nibrudly

A Christmas Revelation

I awake to silence; no shouts of joy or a pair of hooves slamming down on my chest. To my surprise, my clock says it’s nine o’ five; it should be more along the lines of six or five-thirty. It’s Christmas Day; and Dashie isn’t here. Even when she was older she would be so full of excitement on this special morning. And even then she would still pull me out of bed at the crack of dawn just so she could run down stairs and open up her gifts. But now instead of being bleary eyed and out of it, I’m horrified to find myself well rested and fully aware of my daughter’s absence. It’s going to be a long day…

After taking a hot shower and putting on some warm clothes, I make my way downstairs. The thought crosses my mind that perhaps Santa actually came by and left me something. As I enter my living room, there is only one gift underneath the tree: my gift to Dashie. This year I got her some racing goggles; sort of like the ones she wore in the show. Not the best gift, but it’s all I could think of. And I think she would have appreciated it, especially for whenever she’d go out and fly in conditions like today. Didn’t matter is it was sunny, rainy, windy or snowy; if she wanted to fly, she would go out and fly. If only she were here to try them on.

I sit down to a breakfast of coffee and donuts. Usually we’d have cinnamon rolls, but I’m just not up to it this morning. Besides, I’ve never really liked them anyway; but they were always Dashie’s favorite thing to have for breakfast. I run through our usual schedule as I wash out my mug and put away the leftover donuts.

Wake up: Check.

Open Presents: Check.

Breakfast: Check.

So next would be playing with all our new toys. Since Dashie isn’t here and I haven’t given her a “toy” in years, I’d say that’s a check. That’s about half of our schedule right there…and it’s only ten-thirty.

I move onto the next item on the list as I put on my winter gear. I step out into the wide white expanse of our snow-covered yard and make a little snowball. Then I start packing on more snow, and more, and more until I can roll it on the ground without completely bending over. Soon I have a big, somewhat round snow boulder. I repeat the process two more times, the boulders smaller than the big one. I pull out some buttons and a carrot our of my coat pocket. Soon, I have made a snowman. It’s odd that his nose is intact; usually Dashie always took a bite out of it. Since I do not have another person with me I skip the snowball fight, and I don’t really feel like making a snow angel without my angel making hers right next to mine.

All I have left is dinner, and that’s not for another five hours. Standing out in the snow, gazing on my snowman, I feel a wave of depression sink over me. Soon, I feel the desire to go back inside and look at the album. So I go leave the snowy terrain and step into my house, take off my boots, and head upstairs. I pull the album off the shelf and I’m about to start looking through it when the phone rings. Who in the world would be calling me? It better not be my boss, the last thing I want to hear is that I need to do some homework for some idiotic meeting tomorrow.

My ears are blasted by a loud “MERRY CHRISTMAS!”

He could not have picked a better time to call.

“Hey there, Snowflake.”

“How you doing man? Have a good day so far?”

“Actually Snowflake, it’s been a bit boring. I usually have an excited, hopped up on sugar, kid at heart pelting me with snowballs right now.”

“That’s good. Uh, I mean, good to hear it’s a slow day so far.”

“So tell me, why did you decide to call on this fine Christmas day?”

“Just thought you might like to know we’re having our annual Christmas Party at the orphanage. You know, since you’re not getting pelted with snowballs at the moment.”

He just said the magic words. “When is it, what can I bring, and I should bring a present for David, right?”

“Whenever you want to come over, whatever grub you can rustle up, and yes, bring a present for David.”

“Okay, I’ll be there as soon as I can. Bye.”

I put the album back on my bookshelf and hurry downstairs. I dash into my kitchen and start looking through my cupboards trying to find something edible I could bring. Finding nothing easy to make or that would be considered a Christmas food, I remember I did buy some tubes of cinnamon rolls for today. I grab the two tubes of dough out of my fridge and stash them in a plastic bag. Thinking that not enough however, I then grab several boxes of mac and cheese and throw them into the bag. Then I hurry down my basement for wrapping paper and tape. I rush back up the stairs and set my supplies on the table. Now I have to think of what I can give to David.

I could give him one of the video games in our collection. But I don’t have any games that David could actually use. Maybe one of my books would work. They just might if I ever read them. I start running through my house trying to find something that could work as a gift, but I find nothing! I’m just about to give up and just settle for giving him a crisp twenty dollar bill when I take notice of my mother’s painting hanging in the hallway. And that’s when it hits me: I know just what to give him. I run upstairs to my office -formerly Dashie’s bedroom- and I find my target hanging on the wall. It’s another one of my mother’s paintings. It’s one that she did when she decided to visit a friend downtown for a couple of days. It’s an abstract of Main Street: the road a royal blue, the apartment buildings different colors of the rainbow, and the sky a bright orange with a rich yellow sun. Yes, this is just what I need!

I carefully carry the painting to the table and do a mediocre job of wrapping it. I’m sure once David sees what it is he’ll excuse the horrible wrapping job. I carefully load my gift into the back seat of my pick-up and stash my bag of foodstuffs on the floor in front of the passenger seat. I feel a rush of excitement flow through me as I make my way to town. I even start singing some carols to pass the time. I make myself slow down as I unload and make my way into the orphanage. But after putting my gift against the lobby wall, I can’t help but hurry to the kitchen where I find Snowflake and Lizzie still in their pajamas.

“Merry Christmas!” I don’t think Snowflake has ever seen me so enthusiastic.

“Merry Christmas! Glad you could come. What’d ya bring me?”

“Some cinnamon rolls and mac and cheese. I know it’s not exactly “Christmas” food, but it’s what I got.”

“Don’t worry about that man; we’re just happy you came!”

I set my stuff down in the lobby and take off my coat and gloves before heading back into the kitchen to help with dinner preparations. This time it’s ham, green bean casserole, my mac and cheese, Lizzie’s famous mashed potatoes, and apple pie along with my cinnamon rolls for desert. It isn’t long before the kitchen is packed with wonderful smells. To my surprise David comes walking into the kitchen.

“Hey Snowflake, did you call-” He stops short once he sees me helping Lizzie put the ham into the oven. A look of surprise is plastered across his face.

“Hey there David, and yes, I did call him.” Snowflake casually answers as he stirs a pot full of macaroni noodles.

“Merry Christmas, Buddy!”

“Uh…yeah. Merry Christmas to you too, Old Man.” His shock turns into a smile as he greets me.

Seeing that I’m there and I’m busy, David goes back to whatever it was he was doing before. It doesn’t take long before we find a lull, waiting for the two ovens to empty out before we can stuff in the rest of the food. Once the ham is sufficiently heated, and the green bean casserole is bubbling, we switch them out for the mac and cheese and the pies. It isn’t more than half an hour later before everything is prepared.

After Snowflake and Lizzie go off and change into matching Christmas Sweaters, Snowflake leads some of the older kids and I in constructing the grand table in the play room. It isn’t long before table cloths are laid, chairs are placed, plates set out, silverware is dispensed, and we bring in the food. It’s four-thirty when we all gather around the table. To my surprise, I find I am the only Big Brother there. Apparently everyone else had somewhere to be this Christmas, unlike Thanksgiving. But this realization disappears from my mind once Snowflake gives some words of thanks and we all sit down to eat.

After our feast, we begin with the festivities that Snowflake and Lizzie have planned. We start off with some Christmas songs, everything from “Jingle Bells” to “Feliz Navidad.” Then we engage in a half-hour session of charades, nobody being able to guess anything except Snowflake; and only because he made up the cards we pull from the hat. After that we break out the board games, everybody playing something different. While everyone else goes for Monopoly and Mousetrap, I find David sitting at the table setting up a game of chess. I walk over and sit down across from him, accepting his challenge of a game. I have yet to succeed in that challenge five rounds later.

Thankfully, Snowflake announces the next event just as David is about to put me in checkmate for the sixth time in a row. It is finally time for the gift exchange. I head to the lobby and retrieve my gift for David. When I return, we all sit in a circle, handing out our gifts one by one. Every child receives a ten dollar bill from Snowflake, and a separate ten dollar bill from Lizzie. Then it becomes a secret santa sort of thing, each child finding their assigned partner. But to my surprise, David doesn’t have one. Even though he has a rather large gift at his feet, no one has come up to exchange gifts with him. But it all makes sense once David stands up and walks over to me and presents his gift.

“Merry Christmas, Old Man. I hope you like it.”

I carefully tear the off the paper, my eyes growing wider and wider as I realize what it is. It’s David’s painting of the cabin in the clearing. I can’t believe he actually gave me this. I flash a huge smile in his direction as I say “Thank you, David. It’s beautiful.”

“I thought since you were there when I painted it, it would be a nice idea to give it to you. Memories and stuff like that.”

“I love it, David. I’m going to find a nice place to hang this up when I get home. And now…” I pulled my gift from behind my chair “Here’s a gift for you.”

He takes it into in his hands and heads back over to his seat. He rips off the paper and stares at the back of the frame. I knew it should have gone the other way. Fortunately, he doesn’t seem to mind and flips the frame over. I have never seen his eyes grow so big. He just sits there for five minutes looking over the painting before he sets it gently down on the ground. He jumps out of his seat, runs over and hugs me. I guess I gave him the right present. Looks of shock are on the faces of Snowflake and Lizzie as I return the embrace. However, the shock doesn’t come to my face until David speaks.

“It’s the most beautiful thing I have ever received. Thank you, Dad.”

Hold on…Did he just say “dad?”

I wasn’t the only one who noticed; Snowflake and Lizzie are unable to get their mouths to shut. David quickly pulls away as he realizes what he just said. He tries to be nonchalant and goes back over to his chair, acting like it didn’t happen. We all just sit there in an awkward silence before Snowflake thankfully breaks it.

“WHO’S READY TO WATCH A WONDERFUL LIFE?!”

Lizzie quickly follows. “I am! I am! C’mon kids!”

Lizzie takes two of the youngest by their hands and drags them to the television set. Soon everyone else follows, including David. But he makes sure to grab the painting before he heads over. All I can do is just sit in my chair, shocked as…shocked. What the hell was that?! I didn’t think he could feel that way! I mean, sure we’ve been getting along, but I didn’t think we were that far along! How could one painting evoke a response like that?! I just sit there staring into space when Snowflake walks over with two mugs in his hands.

“Well, that was interesting. The things kids say, huh?” He handed me one of the mugs, the coffee brings me back to some state of normality.

“Yeah, yeah…it’s…it’s funny what they say.”

“Well, at least now we know David definitely likes you. Ain’t that great?”

“Yeah, yeah, really…great.”

I take a long swig of coffee, trying to regain control of my oral faculties. Thankfully, Snowflake switches to a different topic. We continue to talk until the clock on the wall chimes to let us know that it’s nine. I stand up and stretch as Snowflake and Lizzie begin to send the children off to bed. I grab David’s painting and make my way to the exit, when I see David sitting in front of the television. But, I notice he’s not looking at the movie, but at my mother’s painting. I debate whether to say goodbye or not, before I put the stupid notion out of my mind. It was a slip of the tongue, nothing more, nothing less. I go over and say goodbye to David.

“Alright, have a happy new year, buddy.”

“Yeah, you too Old Man.”

With this, the deed is done and I can be on my way. But then curiosity strikes me. What could possibly have been in that picture that could have made David act so strange? As per usual, I decide to entertain the thought.

“Hey David?”

“Yes?” He turns his head and makes eye contact with me.

“Any chance you could tell me why you liked the painting so much? Just curious is all.”

With this he turns back to the painting and stares for a few seconds. He doesn’t look away from the painting, but he gives his explanation.

“You know, I can’t really explain it. It’s just…I don’t know. I know it makes no sense but that’s what I see every day when I’m in the corner sitting in the rocking chair.”

“Really?” He sees that?

“Yeah, I know it’s stupid, but this painting is exactly what I see whenever I look out the window. The road’s a royal blue, the buildings are all kinds of colors, and even when it’s cloudy I still see that sun. I mean, I don’t see it every time I look out the window, usually I see it when…” He turns away from the painting and looks back up at me. “…it’s what I see whenever I remember my mom.”

My heart exploded. It may be an old meme but it’s accurate.

“Stupid, right?”

“No! No, I got something like that too. Helps when they’re gone, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah.”

This added a whole new layer of complexity to the situation. I gave him the magic picture; no wonder he liked it so much. I wanted to talk to him more about this, but it was time to go and we weren’t scheduled to have another meeting until after New Year’s. But then I asked an educated question.

“Does Snowflake have something planned for New Year’s Eve?”

“Yeah, but I doubt anyone is going to come.”

“Oh, don’t be so sure. I’ll see you then David.”

As I lay in my bed that night, I couldn’t stop thinking about what David had said. “Dad?” Did he really think of me like that? We hadn’t really been doing much. And how could I possibly think this was okay? Never mind the fact that Dashie had only been gone for four months, but I had only known David for three. How in the world could I think his slip-up really meant anything? No, that’s all it was, a slip-up and nothing else. Obviously he didn’t really mean it; it just came out because of the picture. With this I gave a sigh of relief, turned on my side, shut my eyes and began to drift off to sleep…at least, I would have if the thought hadn’t kept coming back.

No matter how hard I tried to explain it away, it wouldn’t leave. Argument after argument, and two hours later, that single “Dad” still hadn’t stopped popping up again and again. This was crazy; maybe I just had too much coffee for tonight. Or, just maybe -a really big maybe at that- it was something worth thinking about. In either case, I wasn’t going to be getting much sleep that night.

I didn’t get much sleep any other night as I continued to think about my conundrum. It went from just being bugged about that slipped “dad” to whether or not I should actually take the role. My reason and my logic tried to put up a good fight, but my thoughts were too stubborn to quit. It made no sense to me, and it seemed highly inappropriate! It didn’t matter if he actually felt that way; I was practically a stranger to him…and to Snowflake. Yeah, it wouldn’t work out, not even if David was serious. Snowflake would put up the red flag and stop this nonsense…right? But did I really want him to?

I went back and forth all week like this, trying to stop the idea from popping back up. But it was no use; I was now contemplating on actually being a dad again. I didn’t agree with it, and I certainly knew I wasn’t going to be the only one to find it a bad idea, but that didn’t stop it from repeatedly getting in my face. I couldn’t figure out a way of taking care of this. So I just buried myself in whatever work I had until New Year’s Eve. I still did not have my solution or procedure, so I couldn’t help but feel some anxiety when Snowflake called the day of the New Year’s party.

“Hey Snowflake.”

“Hey man, how you doing?”

“Good, how are you?”

“A bit worried actually. Not the only one, either.”

“Huh?” He was probably talking about something entirely different than what I thought. Yeah, he wasn’t calling about-

“You haven’t been obsessing over David’s slip up on Christmas have you?”

Great, just great. “No, I haven’t. Have you?”

“Not as much as David has.”

“Really?” That’s interesting.

“Yeah, he’s been acting more sullen than usual. When I walked up to ask him what was going on I could just hear him saying “stupid, stupid; why did I say that?” over and over. Then out of nowhere he wants to talk to me about it. And guess what got him in this state?”

“I’ll make a guess and say it’s me?”

“Bingo!”

“Are you serious?”

“My friend, you’re the first person in awhile to get this close to David. Don’t know if you could tell, but every meeting day he gets three shades lighter than usual. And the few times when you’ve had to miss a meeting, he’s always had this disappointed look on his face; you know, more than usual. He cares if you keep coming, man. He also cares if you want to keep coming.”

“So he thinks I’m going to stop after his slip?”

“It was awkward; why wouldn’t you try and distance yourself?”

He had a point. It’s not like I had to have an answer for this. I didn’t even need to worry about taking on the role or not. I could always back away and take some time to think about it. Yeah, that’s what I’d do. But would that be fair to David? Especially after all the trust he had invested in me? Would he still be as open as he is now? Or would keeping my distance cause him to revert? As I pondered this, Snowflake continued.

”All I know is that he’s afraid he messed things up. You think you could talk some sense into him tonight?”

“Yeah…yeah I think I can.”

“Good. See you at eight; don’t forget to bring plenty of snacks.”

“Alright.”

Now the question was whether I would be talking the right kind of sense. I stopped by a gas station on my way up and loaded my back seat with many varieties of chips, candy and pop. Snowflake had commissioned me to bring the goodies, and he was going to reimburse me in full once he saw the receipt. I didn’t need it; without a daughter to feed and shelter I had cash on hand. And really, it was the least I could do, especially if tonight went south.

Upon my arrival I was greeted by Lizzie and Snowflake. They helped me unload my truck and took the snacks in the kitchen. Once again, I was the only Big Brother there. When I brought it up to Snowflake he explained while some people didn’t get together Thanksgiving, everyone went home for the holiday season. I was the only one on his list he knew for certain that would have cause to show up. I was also the only person he personally called about these types of things. It was flattering; being the only guy. It certainly helped me realize my standing with Snowflake. Maybe tonight could work after all.

At least, I hoped it would. Or did I hope it wouldn’t? While I was feeling more confident about Snowflake, I still wasn’t sure about David. Sure, he had been thinking things over like I had, but that still didn’t mean he actually wanted to go through with it. I was still trying to convince myself not to, either. But letting this situation stew wasn’t going to get anyone any results. At some point this evening I was going to talk to David and Snowflake about it. And since David wasn’t around, I opted to talk to Snowflake first.

“Hey Snowflake?”

“Yes?” He was just about to break open a bag of balloons.

“May I have a word with you?”

He gave a nod and motioned towards the kitchen. When he was sure we were out of earshot of the kids in the playroom, Snowflake began.

“Alright, what you want to talk about?”

“You know how you asked if I was obsessing over the slip-up?”

With this Snowflake started to defend David’s case. “Oh, come on now. It was just a slip-up and I’m sure David won’t do it again. He really likes having you here all the time. If you want to back off for a while, that’s fine, but could you-”

“No. No, that’s not what I’ve been obsessing over.”

He threw me a surprised glance. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

“I’m saying I’m open to what you think I’m saying.”

“I see…” He looked at the floor and scratched his chin. “You do realize I’m going to have to think about this?” He brought his eyes up and made contact with mine.

“I’m still not finished thinking about it either. That’s why I’m coming to you.”

“Oh?” With this he became more relaxed.

“Yeah. I know I haven’t spent nearly enough time here with David for any of us to make a solid decision. I’m just tired of it coming back again and again in my head.”

“Oh, well if that’s the case then I don’t see why we can’t go this route.”

“You sure?” I never imagined he would be so calm about this. Especially with how early it had come up.

“My friend, if you’re willing to take your time to make sure you’re positive that this is the way you want to go, then I’m willing to help you and David through the process. You know, if it really was more than just a slip-up.”

Well there was some relief. If Snowflake was onboard this made things much easier. Now I just had to make sure David was serious about the slip-up. “Yeah, I know. Do you think he’s open to it?”

“I don’t see why not. He wouldn’t have slipped without good cause to do so.”

“Speaking of David, where is he? I’ve been here for a good forty-five minutes and still no sign of him.”

“Last I saw him he was in the art room painting. He gave me specific instructions that he not be disturbed for another two hours. So I say just put your feet up and kick back. We got plenty to entertain ourselves in the meantime.”

So long as I could talk to him eventually, I was fine with waiting. At least, I thought I was until I sat in front of the break room television. There was nothing good on at all. I would have grabbed Snowflake or Lizzie for some conversation, but they were busy with last-minute decorations and keeping the kids entertained. I saw a Sudoku book on the coffee table in front of me, but I’ve never been good with those kinds of puzzles. That was more Dashie’s thing; what can I say? She had plenty of time on her hooves. With no alternative in sight, I just sat in front of the screen waiting to be entertained. I shut my eyes for one second, and the next thing I knew Snowflake was shaking me awake.

“Decided to go for forty winks, eh?”

“Just about,” I yawned.

He gave a chuckle as his hand rammed into my back. “I thought you’d like to know David’s available now. He’s still in the art room, but he’s got the bulk of his painting finished. Good luck, my friend.”

“Thanks.” I’ll need it.

I poked my head through the door and saw David sitting at an easel on the other side of the room. This time he had painted a fresh spring garden. I gave a knock and got his attention. As soon as he saw me, he looked anxious. I was trying hard not to look the same. Over the past couple of days I had been trying to figure out how I would talk to him about this, but every word I had rehearsed disappeared from my mind. So I just went off the cuff.

“Hey there, buddy; haven’t seen you all night.”

“Uh, yeah. I’ve been…painting.” He seemed just as confused as I was.

“May I come over and take a look?”

“Yeah. Yeah, feel free.”

I walked into the room and made my way over to David and his latest creation. Now that I was closer, I could see so much more going on in his painting. He had made the petals on each flower so crisp and bright that I thought I could smell them. And marching through the dirt were some ants crawling out of the garden box. It was as if you were looking down on an actual garden. He really should be in shows.

“Looks beautiful David. Very nice.”

“Thanks.”

I just stood there awkwardly, trying to come up with some opening words. David continued to work on detailing the painting. I don’t know why this was so hard for me to do. It was a simple question and a simple answer. No need to think about consequences, ramifications, or anything like that. Finally clearing my head and finding the needed conviction, I began the conversation.

“Can I talk to you about something, buddy?”

“Like what?”

I turned around and grabbed the stool of the easel behind me. David put down his palette and brush as I got comfortable on my stool. If I beat around the bush, it could take ‘til next year to get this settled. So I came out very bluntly.

“I want you to be straight with me. Why do you talk to me?”

“Because you’re good company?” He was noticeably more anxious now.

“No. I mean, why did you start talking to me after only our second meeting?”

“I told you. You looked sad and I thought you could use it.”

“So you just open up to the guy you’ve only met twice because he’s sad while you’re still keeping shut around everybody else? I just don’t understand why I get the special treatment.”

Now I had backed him into a corner. For several minutes he tried to come up with a response before he just gave up. “Why do you care so much? I just talk to you because I like it. Why does there have to be a reason?”

“Because David, you called me ‘Dad’ after only three months. I don’t care if it was just a slip-up, there has to be a reason why it happened.”

Now he looked freaked out. His mouth was moving up and down trying to say something and his eyes were rather large. He snapped out of it and just turned back towards his painting. Okay, stay calm. Don’t make this any harder than it already is.

“Does it bug you that it happened?”

He was very agitated. “Obviously. Now everything is messed up and it’s going to be awkward from here on out. It’s just never going to be the same.”

“I was thinking the same thing,” With this David’s head sunk a little. “But not exactly like that.” His head perked up. “It’s been bugging me too. I’m just trying to understand how it happened, buddy; that’s all.”

He started to fiddle with his paints. He would try to bring the brush to the canvas, but his hand wouldn’t stay still. After a few attempts of trying to make it stop, David just put everything down and twiddled his thumbs. We sat there for half an hour, much like our first meeting, as I waited for his response. When he finally worked up the nerve, he mumbled his answer.

“You feel like one.”

“What?”

“You just feel like one.” He turned towards me, “You don’t just let me talk, you actually want to hear what I think. And whenever you come in for a meeting, you got this genuine smile on your face, like you actually want to be there. And I don’t know why, but I just feel…safe, whenever you come. Like, I don’t have to worry about you flipping out if I say the wrong thing. It’s just been a long time since I’ve had someone like that.”

I was shocked. Only three months and he was that comfortable with me? My silence did little to reassure him.

“You know what, just forget it. I shouldn’t have said it in the first place.”

“Why? Do you think I’m not going to want to come anymore after hearing that?”

“Well, yeah. Usually people drop you like a wet sock when you say something like that.”

To his surprise, a smile crept across my face.

“Tell me David, what do you think has been going through my mind all week long?”

“Whether you should stick around out of pity, or just step back altogether?”

“Heh, not even close. I’ve spent the last week trying to get your slip-up out of my head. But you know what? It doesn’t want to leave. And now…I don’t really want it too.”

“What?” He turned his whole body in my direction. His brows were furrowed.

“I’ve gone through every argument I can think of David, and then some. You just keep popping back up into my head saying “Dad.” I know we have to have more time before doing anything serious and I’m not a hundred percent sure of anything at the moment. But if you’re willing to try, then Snowflake says he’ll help us through the process. What do you think of that?

He became very excited at this. “You’re serious? You actually want to?”

“Honestly, I’m not sure. It still feels like a hasty decision. But it’s not going away, and I figure we’ll have plenty of time to make sure that both of us are really ready for this. Are you in?”

I stuck my hand out; he turned back towards his painting and stared at it. I wasn’t sure what was going through his mind, I was only hoping it was good. After a few minutes of staring into the petals of his flowers, David turned back towards me.

“So you really wouldn’t mind the thought of having me as your kid?” Thank goodness.

“If you don’t mind the thought of me being your dad.”

With this a smile bigger than any he had ever made spread across his face. He even started laughing. Soon I was laughing along with him. He took my hand and shook it vigorously.

“I’m in! I’m definitely in!”

Despite the complications this now presented, I couldn’t help but feel relieved. I came tonight hoping for the best but planning for the worst. It turned out better than I had thought it could. I still couldn’t understand how it happened or why I felt the way I did, but David and I would have plenty of time to work it all out. As we continued to laugh, Snowflake burst through the door.

“C’MON YOU GUYS! THE BALL’S ABOUT TO DROP!”

We quickly ran out into the playroom where Snowflake, Lizzie, and all the other children were counting down the clock. David and I joined in as well. As the ball started to descend, I felt a wave of conflict strike me. I felt sad that I did not have Dashie here at the start of another year, but at the same time I couldn’t help but be happy I was spending it here at the orphanage. As the timer hit zero, the whole room erupted with a “HAPPY NEW YEAR!” Then the children pulled out noisemakers and started blowing like crazy; a few trying to aim it right where the paper tube would smack another kid in the face. As Snowflake and Lizzie began to sing Auld Lang Syne, I noticed that David was smiling up at me. I returned the smile and gave him a small noogie.

“Happy new year, Buddy”

He responded with a soft punch to my arm. “Happy new year, Old man.”

With this we began to laugh, and soon Snowflake and Lizzie were laughing as well. The rest of the children started to break out into giggles, even though they didn’t know why we were laughing in the first place. I felt something I hadn’t felt for a long time: joy, complete and utter joy. I knew from that point on I was going to be just fine, and I knew with upmost certainty that David was going to be fine as well.