A few Strange Weeks in Ponyville [ABANDONED]

by NuclearLime

3 Intros For the Price of One

A Few Strange Weeks in Ponyville Chapter 1: 3 Intros For the Price of One
(Flashback)

“Beautiful day for a test flight, am I wrong?”

“It is a lovely day, but this invention of yours will never work.”

“Hay, I was in the air for an hour last week.”

“Yeah, before you crashed into that tree.”

“I said ‘I meant to do that.’”

“Then why were you yelling at me to come help you?”

“…Never mind, I’ve got some flying to do. Vers le haut !” ending his sentence with a bad accent from Prance, followed by his sudden jumping off of wherever they were.

“Here we go again.”

Meanwhile… And much later FYI

Pinkie Pie was walking along; in her own little musical world, greeting all the ponies that passed her way. Then, she noticed
something that she love, love, loves like crazy… A pony she had never seen before! This Pegasus in question was the color of a night’s sky, had a mix of bluish-greenish almond shaped eyes, like Zecora or Night Mare Moon his ears were a bit torn up, he had some scars on his body, though they were green, that wasn’t the most peculiar thing about him, his flank had no cutie mark!
“Hi there, I’m Pinkie Pie, I saw you and I’ve never seen you before so you must be new here since I know everypony and I mean everypony. So, since your gonna be my best friend, let me learn about you. What’s your name?”
This stallion hesitated for a moment, then spoke, he sounded hoarse.
“S-Stormo. It uhh, matches my cutie mark, don’t ya think?” Said Stormo, head gesturing towards his raincloud and lightning bolt cutie mark.

“Oh I didn’t see that cutie mark. Hhm, well anyhoof, what brings you to ponyville?”

“Getting away from my past, and honestly, looking for a nice marefriend.”

“OooOooh, well I can help with that, matchmaking, Pinkie Pie style! But first you need a tour of Ponyville, Pinkie Pie style!” A pony (not sure of the species yet) was running through the streets of Ponyville, in hot pursuit of a green, Pegasus? I think.

“Wooaah!”

“Gearshift! Look out for that carousal!”

“AAHH! Woo! Missed!” said this pony just missing Carousal Boutique A/N WHAT?

“Look out for that grey mare!” said the chasing pony, as “Gearshift” just missed Derpy, leaving her spinning and more confused than usual.

“Where’s my muffin?” said Derpy.
The morsel in question happened to be on Gearshift’s horn. “Curse this muffin, can’t see!” Were he able to see, he would’ve noticed that if he didn’t turn he would’ve noticed he was about to crash into- BAM!

Rarity was sitting in front of Sugarcube Corner, taking small, ladylike, bites of a slice of pie, unaware that the boutique was in danger until Sweetie Bell would tell her later tell her, when suddenly she heard the sound of a colt yelling,

“OW!”
She turned and saw Pinkie Pie with a platter of pastries pleading a pony to partake in previously mentioned pastries.

“Oh, I’m so super-duper-absoloper-ly sorry for stepping on your tail!” apologized Pinkie Pie.

“Yeah, I bet you would be.” Responded the cloaked colt, rather harshly.

“Y-you don’t, forgive me?” Pinkie said a little sad, before perking back up.

“Oh! I’ll make you a baker’s dozen of cupcakes for free!” she dashed inside Sugarcube Corner. While this new colt groaned, who, with his hood down, Rarity noticed, was very handsome! Those eyes, blue as the ocean, bluish turquoise coat and light blue mane, and she thought she spied some glitters- “Ah, a fellow gem lover,” –hidden behind that gasp! That cloak! No stallion as handsome as this could possibly be left in such clothing, not when she could do something about it!

“Um, excuse me,” Said Rarity, rushing along the earth pony, “But I noticed you before and just could not let you go by without mentioning how handsome you-”

“What do you want?” This new pony said, in a naturally cool voice, interrupting Rarity.

“Pardon?”

“You’re a mare, and you’re complementing my looks, so you must want something from me, so let’s just skip the flattery, what do you want?”
Rarity was more than a little offended, she didn’t do that, did she? “Well, there was that dragon,” Rarity thought “and that geeky looking pony at the market, and-” “Okay, yes, you’re right, but I do honestly think you’re handsome, and I just want you to come with me to my boutique, so I can make you something nicer to suit your looks better an this –old, thing. In return I’ll try to keep you from Pinkie Pie, the pink mare.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re mad at her, and she will stop at nothing ‘till you except her apology, and be her best friend.” The fashionista said, with her “worst, possible, thing” face.

“Wow, I appreciate it.”

“You’re very welcome.”

At the boutique;

“ Say what happened? Are you all right Sweetie Belle?” Asked Rarity to her little sister.

“I’m fine, who’s this? Your coltfriend?” Sweetie asked, not in a mocking way, more of an oblivious way, that doesn’t leave Rarity any less flustered though.

“No, no, just a client; scurry off to Sweet Apple Acres now. I apologize for my sister’s bluntness Aquarius, she’s just that age, I suppose.”

“It’s alright,” said Aquarus, “I have a sister of my own. Now are you sure about this?”

“Why wouldn’t I be? It’s my job to make sure ponies are as fabulous as possible. Now, let’s get that cloak off of you.” Rarity said, trying to use her magic to take off the dingy, black cape, but her client was struggling.

“Oh, come now, let… Go-woah!” the designer pleaded, falling over.

“You get why I was keeping the cloak on?”

Author's Note:

Wow, this was terrible, maybe I'll abandon this story. Thanks to Jphyper, for noticing the corrections that needed to be made. I'm going to work on some other stories.

Comments

[Jphyper]

1) Space your paragraphs out more.
2) Limit yourself to only one speaker per paragraph.
3) Don't interject with author's notes. If it's really important, work it into the story. About half of them are not important, though.

As with anyone who struggles with grammar (and even some who don't), I recommend reading this. It'll tell you just about everything you need to know to write well.

[NuclearLime]

this story has been viewed... My mind is blown.
I'll make those corrections soon.

[Zinger]

Strange but cool, you also gave me a idea for one of my stories.