A few new ponies come into Ponyville. One claims to have a mysterious past, another doesn't want to take off his cloak, and another is in the hospital. My first fimfic idea... I just discovered I suck @ summaries.It says Incomplete because I don't know how to change it.
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1) Space your paragraphs out more.
2) Limit yourself to only one speaker per paragraph.
3) Don't interject with author's notes. If it's really important, work it into the story. About half of them are not important, though.
As with anyone who struggles with grammar (and even some who don't), I recommend reading this. It'll tell you just about everything you need to know to write well.
this story has been viewed... My mind is blown.
I'll make those corrections soon.
Strange but cool, you also gave me a idea for one of my stories.
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Maybe instead of crying, you could tell me how to make it say "Abandoned"
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Chang the Incomplete to canceled.
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I tried!
That doesn't help!
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Welp you screwed
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Oh, I did it.
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