Ch. 1: Do You Want to Come to a Party?
Whrrrrrrcklikclikclikclikclikclickclikclik….Whrrrrrrclikclikclikclikclikclik….
Dash’s eye began twitching, it was a tick she had come associate exclusively with her roommate’s sewing habit. Taking a calming breath, Rainbow tried to focus on the music from her stereo and not the obnoxious sounds that emanated from Rarity’s sewing machine.
WHRRRRRRRCLIKCLIKCLIKCLIKCLIKCLIK...
‘Okay she asked for it.’
Dash gritted her teeth and prepared this latest salvo in the two’s unspoken war. It was a war that had raged since their first meeting earlier in the week, and both combatants seemed much too proud for a ceasefire.
RD reached forward and slowly began to turn the dial on her stereo.
Vol: 15, 16, 17….
“I got this feeling on the summer day when you were gone.
I crashed my car into the bridge. I watched, I let it burn…”
Meanwhile, Rarity looked over from her desk at the opposite side of the room and gave RD a stare that could have frozen a polar bear. ‘Oh. It. Is. On.’ Rarity then turned back to her sewing machine and continued at her hobby, making sure to step down extra hard on the pedal so that the machine whined louder than before.
WHRRRRRR…..
Vol: 20, 21, 22…
“I don't care, I love it. I don't care.”
“Would you please be so kind as to turn that down?” Rarity said attempting to speak over the din. “I can’t hear myself think…” She added to herself as she massaged her temples and stopped her work.
“What!?” Rainbow shouted back across the room, unable to conceal the smile spreading across her face at Rarity’s ruffled feathers.
Vol: 25, 26, 27…
“You're on a different road, I'm in the Milky Way
You want me down on earth, but I am up in space”
“I said: Turn it down!” Rarity shouted, all sense of decorum lost.
“You're so damn hard to please, we gotta kill this switch
You're from the 70's, but I'm a 90's bitch”
“One more time!” Dash shouted back, preparing for her coup de grace.
“I said: Turn off that fucking music!” Rarity screamed at the top of her lungs, into a suddenly silent room
A full five seconds of stunned silence passed before Dash began cracking up, it was much longer before she could stop
“Oh, you are just the worst kind of person.” A red faced Rarity managed through pursed lips.
--------------------
Outside their door stood a girl dressed in a long skirt and an overlarge canary sweater. The sleeves of her sweater were long enough to cover her hands, just the way she liked. It gave her a feeling of much needed comfort and security. Her long straight pink hair flowed over her shoulders and halfway down her back, and as she stared at the names on the door, her bangs had drifted in front of her eyes. However, she was too entranced to replace them.
“Rainbow Dash” She mouthed the name on the door for the third time since she had begun her vigil. She felt butterflies in her stomach. Her usually timid resolve was put into overdrive. ‘I-I knew it was her...' Even Fluttershy’s thoughts were shook in anxiety. 'Should I knock….w-…would she even remember me...’
“Oh lighten up, prissy pants,” She heard Rainbow call out from inside the room. It sounded as though she was moving towards the door.
‘This is my chance….I… I can thank her…..I can tell her….I can-’
The knob began to turn.
'HIDE!'
The impulse overtook Fluttershy and with a muffled squeak, she ran back to her room.
--------------------
“Stupid, stuck up, prissy, little prim, proper….” RD grumbled as she slammed the door to her room behind her. To her surprise it wasn’t the only door in the hallway she heard slam.
She sighed and made her way down the hall towards Twilight, Pinkie, and Applejack’s room. As she shuffled down the hall her eyes drifted lazily to the handmade signs that adorned each of the doors.
As she began to read the name on one of the hall’s single room’s a hand reached out from behind the door and hastily grabbed the sign, pulling it inside the room. “Ooooookay…” RD spoke aloud to no one in particular.
Reaching her friends’ room, Dash knocked on the door.
“Hey ya RD,” replied the pleasant twang of Applejack as she opened the door, “I’d gladly welcome the company. Miss academic over there’s got ‘er head in a book and ain’t much for talkin’ at the moment…”
Twilight looked up from her copy of Time and Recent Developments in Science by Doctor Hooves and made a slight grunt by way of greeting to RD.
“…and Pinkie is out gettin’ supplies fer tonight’s party.” Applejack concluded with a grin. The four friends, most enthusiastically Pinkie of course, had been looking forward to the end of orientation week and with it Pinkie’s spontaneously announced “First-Weekend-of-College-so-We-Have-to-Have-a-Party Party.”
“Can’t wait,” replied RD with devilish smirk. “All the booze I can drink and a bed in stumbling distance, what more can a gal ask for.”
“Well ah can think of one thing,” replied Applejack with an uncharacteristic giggle, while Twilight simply blushed in spite of herself.
“Oh there will be tons of variety in that department!” Pinkie said as the little bundle of energy exploded through the door, weighed down by more shopping bags than RD thought her small frame could handle.
“Dear god did you clean out the liquor aisle?” RD said in astonishment.
“Well you can’t have a party without supplies!” Pinkie replied as she stashed the copious amounts of alcohol. “And as I was saying Applejackie, you’ll have the pick of the litter. I just plopped an invitation under every door on the floor, hey that rhymed!”
“Wait… Just now? While carrying all those bags? How did you- Wait never mind, I don’t want to know.” RD then knit her brow in frustration. “Wait?! Every door… oh crap. Pinkie! That means Rarity got one!”
“Uh huh!” Pinkie said, bobbing her head. “I thought to myself: Hey Pinkie, every day this week RD has come in here complaining about her roommate, wouldn’t it be better if we were all friends? And then I replied: That’s a great idea, and you know what makes everyone friends!? PARTIES!!!”
“…uh. Well I suppose that sounds alright, but I doubt she’d be able to handle any party without tea- or garden- in front of it.” RD intoned, still unsure of what to think.
“ Well, ah reckon it’s a good idea. Can’t have you slinking over here every time ya have a shouting match.” Applejack offered.
“Besides she sounds like a rather interesting individual,” Twilight chimed in. “Even if you two don’t get along, I can spend some invaluable time observing your interpersonal conflict up close.”
“Besides if nothing’s working out I could always slip her one of my special cupcakes.” Pinkie added.
“You have… ugh, where do you even get all this stuff?” Dash replied with resignation, running her hand though her hair. “Okay, okay I’ll try and play nice with her.”
--------------------
Fluttershy sat on her own bed staring down at the sign she had hastily pulled off her door and subsequently thrown to the floor.
“It…it has to be on my terms…” She spoke aloud to herself.
She bowed her head forward, letting her hair fall around her face. She had the depressing feeling that no matter the circumstance, she’d never get the chance for ‘her own terms.’
“Oh Dashie….” She sighed. “Of all the schools…”
She wasn’t sure if the feeling that had overcome her was sadness, happiness or some obscene mixture of the two. Fluttershy was getting to see her again, after all these years, only to feel her own lack of courage, her fear and anxiety, preventing a reunion.
Suddenly, as if sensing her spiraling mood, a bright pink envelope was slipped under her door.
Fluttershy stared at it quizzically. She got up off the bed and picked it up. ‘Who would-’
Her thoughts were cut short as upon opening the envelop there was a loud pop followed by a little burst of confetti. Fluttershy squeaked at the effect, but after a moment she recovered and removed the little hand written invitation.
You are invited to Pinkie Pie’s awesome, spectacular, first-of-many parties party.
When: Tonight. Where: Just look for the door with my name on it silly!
“oh… I don’t know about this…” She whispered. “A party. A party with loud music. A party with loud music and a crowd of strangers. Nope, no thank you.”
But then a small voice within herself spoke up. ‘A party with loud music and a crowd of strangers and… maybe Rainbow Dash…’ She began to feel a very un-Fluttershy-ish feeling coming over her. ‘Loud music, drinks, a dark room, and your Rainbow… those sound like good terms to me’
She felt a warm blush settle across her features, turning the invitation over in her hands. “Well….m-maybe I could consider it…”
@Flutterguy89...
1. On the technicals, you do not have any glaring mistakes for spelling, grammar, or structure. Minor error-bits here-&-there, but as was said, those are acceptable as long as they are cleaned up when pointed out.
2. Excellent Doctor Who reference with the "TARDIS" as Twilight's textbook, a clever allusion is a major part of MLP:FiM's appeal & success. A minor detail fix, Time Turner is referred to as "Doctor Whooves for his Time Lord alter-ego.
3. I also agree with the smoking. At the worst end, I have seen fan-art of human-Rarity being a smoker (the "best" being where she smokes using a theatre-length cigarette holder to give her a sense of refined style), and even that is a long-stretch for acceptance. Smoking and MLP:FiM characters (even humanized) is just too far for audience believability. This, compounded with the athletically-inclined Rainbow Dash, is one leg and two arms over the line for readers' acceptance.
4. Too early for me to form a definitive opinion (or Like/Dislike), but I will continue to read your fan-fic for the time being .
2301112 As a note, it is now officially Doctor Hooves (As per the officially licensed merch, Hasbro couldn't get the Whooves TM)
So here's my position on the smoking thing. First I'm attempting to make this true to my recent college experience, and dear god almost everyone smokes. Second, my human Dash isn't an athlete. What I took from her character was the need for speed and the whole daredevil thing, which will manifest later. Spoilers.
All of my yes.
Personally I think it highly plausible that Dash would be a smoker. Her personality is fun to play with in that it can be taken in quite a few different directions. I dunno, maybe that's just me. Regardless, I enjoyed this chapter and look forward to more.
2301136...
5. Was it offically licensed as Doctor Hooves? I thought the official canon name was "Time Turner" to specifically avoid such copyright issues outside the fan-base and retribution from angry Time Lords ^_^ .
6. On your Rainbow Dash.... Fair enough, it is your story, after all :) . But you are right, lots of smoking at college/university throughout each generation. I am fortunate enough to have never taken up regular smoking "just because" , though I have tried various forms of it for the simple field-experience (hookahs being the most odd, but interesting experience)
2301242 See for yourself :) All of We Love Fine's products are officially licensed. Also his name in the FiM iOs game has been updated to Dr. Hooves, from Whooves to reflect this.
Wow I sound like a total continuity geek
2302495...
7. Never feel any shame over knowing correct canon & continuity. One of the high-marks of quality of any form of fan-works is Accuracy. Not knowing your source materiel correctly just makes you look like an idiot.
2302788 Thanks, could never stand the taste of cowboy-killers myself so I guess I never bothered learning to spell the brand name
so far they are actign to much liek sterotype college students
with drinking and smoking and the like it ditracts from the greater story that is there
Enjoying the story so far.
I won't normally nitpick over spelling and grammar, but there were two things near the beginning that stuck out too much to ignore.
Sowing machine, peddle. = Sewing machine, pedal.
"“Besides if nothing’s working out I could always slip her one of my special cupcakes.” Pinkie added."
Please explain fast before I vomit.
As soon as I heard Icona Pop, I started screaming.
It was a good scream.
I laughed so hard I started coughing and that is when it hit me.
threadbombing.com/data/media/2/THISGONBGUD.gif
I love that song. In fact, I Love It!
Who knew RD had such good taste in music?
Great chapter by the way. Poor Flutters.
When pinkie said "special cupcakes" I thought "I think I heard that in a very disturbing fanfic."
RD is more of a rocker, something by AC/DC or even G'n'R would've been more suitable, but that's just my opinion