The life of an odd Prince

by Lucen Aurora

I Know Fashion When I See It

I Know Fashion When I see It
By Lucen Aurora

The Prince sat on a large purple and gold trimmed pillow at a low desk at the end of a long causeway, with a mare on either side of him. One had a blue coat and purple mane, the other had a white coat and a blond maned. If the scowl of the white coated mare bothered him, he didn't show it.

“Fine day for a Fashion Show,” he remarked as he looked around the room. The walled garden was packed with high society mares, come to see the Canterlot Castle Fashion show. Somepony had set up ornate bleachers, decorated with gold and ivory scroll-work. The castle staff was mingling among the nobles, bringing out drinks and snacks.

“Do try to not embarrass yourself,” the white coated mare sneered as she turned to look at him.

“I won't embarrass myself, Princess,” he replied airily.

The Princess snorted and looked away.

“Manners, Princess. We must always keep our temper. What would you mother, Princess Blueblood Senior think?” the second mare asked sweetly, turning to look at the Princess.

“Why did those fools have to invite HIM of all ponies,” she growled, ignoring her elders admonishment.

“Blueblood, sweetie, I won't warn you twice,” the older mare replied.

Princess Blueblood opened her mouth to retort, and paused. Seeming to think it better to keep quiet, she closed her mouth with a snap and stared resolutely, and sourly, forward.

“You will have to forgive her, your Majesty, the Princess has been in a bad mood as of late,” the older mare said, turning to look at him before speaking.

“Huh? But I thought she was always in a bad mood. Don't they make medications for that?” he mused.

“Yes, well, it's been particularly bad as of late, the Princess and her mother have been very busy with official business.”

“Oh, I'm sure, she had that official dress on the other night when I met her,” the Prince turned to look at Princess Blueblood, “Speaking of which, your the only filly in the room not wearing a dress.”

Princess Bluebloods ears twitched, but she continued to stare forward, saying nothing in return.

“Anyway, this should be good,” he gossiped on, “I've never been to a fashion show before, much less judged one.”

“You haven't?” the older mare asked in surprise.

“Why so surprised lady Bluecoat?” he asked, turning to gaze at her curiously.

“You where invited to judge a fashion show, your majesty, normally when one judges something, they know about the subject. I was rather shocked to think that you had an interest in fashion to begin with, but this,” she replied, shaking her head.

“Oh, I know all about fashion,” he replied.

“You do?” she asked doubtfully.

“Oh, sure. Fashion is knowing what ponies like to wear. I'm a pony. I know what I like to wear,” he replied as the lights above the garden dimmed, heralding the start of the show.

Lady Bluecoat facehoofed, and Princess Blueblood made a low sort of growl in the back of her throat. A unicorn with a huge hat that had a miniature model of Canterlot on top that periodically shot off miniature fireworks and a Pegasus with tight fitting dress whose train flared out several yards behind her and was striped in at least two dozen pastel colors strutted out onto the stage.

“Ladies and Lords,” the Pegasus began in a sultry voice and the spotlights lining the length of the stages edge focused on them, “We are pleased to welcome you to the Canterlot Castle Fashion Fabulousa!”

She paused and the crowd politely stamped their hooves on the trestles of the bleachers.

“This afternoon we will be exploring the high fashion of the highest society of Equestria,” went on the unicorn mare in her husky voice, “And we have a variety of styles of from the newest up and coming designers!”

The unicorn mare paused for another round of applause.

“We would also like to thank our three judges, who will be giving us their impressions of the dresses via the microphones in front of them. Please welcome Lady Bluecoat, a minor noble of impeccable taste and a scion of the House of Blue,” the dress mare declared.

When she pasued there was another round of polite hoof stomping and Lady Bluecoat waved to the croud.

“A true fashionista, and might I add the patron of todays fashion show, without whom our show would not even be possible. Ladies, she even insisted, she not be introduced first! How very humble of her! Princess Blueblood,” the Hat Mare announced in her gravelly voice.

The crowd exploded into a riotous cheer and stomped their hooves mightily as Princess Blueblood waved and smiled magnanimously at the crowd.

“And last, but not certainly least. Ladies, pay close attention to what he has to say, because if he likes it you KNOW your colt friend will, none other than the son of our mighty goddess of the sun, Prince Lucen Aurora himself!” the Pegasus announced with a mighty flourish and a flip of her mane.

The crowd went wild at this announcement and cheered mightily, chanting Celestia, Celestia and Luna, Luna. A few even chanted Lucens name, but of course, it was drowned out in the cries for his mother and aunt.

“Now then, to explain the event itself,” the hat mare went on when the cheering had died down, “Each mare will prance to the end of the walkway and pause, turning completely around so all can see. Then our august judges will render their verdict. Once all three have had their say, the mare will prance back offstage.”

There was a murmur from the crowd.

“Without further ado,” the dress mare went on, sweeping back around and turning to walk offstage, “Let the show begin!

The two mares quickly quit the walkway to either side and slipped back behind the curtains behind it. A spotlight appeared, shinning on the walkway just outside of the curtains, which parted to allow the first participant to strut through.

It was a pegasus, wearing what looked to be a shiny silver fabric box that extended down to her knees and was cuffed with a similar fabric around the legs, neck and tail. In fact, if not for her wings which stood straight up through the top of the fabric, nopony would likely have known she was even a pegasus. The pegasus hobbled her way to the end of the runway, the lights sparkling on the glitter in her mane and tail and stopped when she got to the end. She held her nose high in the air as she slowly and awkwardly rotated for all to see.

“Very imaginative,” Lady Bluecoat gushed.

“Impressive workmanship,” Princess Blueblood said with a smile.

“Toaster with wings,” Prince Lucen Aurora deadpanned.

The room became completely silent, both Princess Blueblood and Lady Bluecoat stared at him, the latter with her mouth hanging open.

The prince looked around, puzzled, “What? She looks like a toaster. See, the hooves are the toasters feet, that box is the body of the toaster and the wings are the toast. Toaster with wings. Oh, and a head and a tail, but you know”

The mare on the stage gave a snort, flipped her tail and huffed off the stage. Princess Blueblood went back to staring resolutely forward. Lady Bluecoat face-hoofed, not for the last time.

The rest of the show went much the same way; the Blueblood and Bluecoat would give pleasant compliments, and the prince would give his honest opinion.

“Angry Bag of Skittles”

“Hula Hoop Display”

“Sack of Potatoes”

“Old Nightmare Night Costume”

“Colorblind Peacock”

“Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant”

“Slow Cook Pot Roast”

And so on, and so forth it went. By the time the show was drawing to a close, Princess Blueblood was twitching and trembling, as well as making occasional gurgling noise. Lady Bluecoat had managed to keep her composure and instead was wearing a huge, plastic smile. Prince Lucen, seemingly oblivious to the stepford mangler on his left and the axe murder to be on his right was smiling genially and looking around at the crowd.

The crowd was restless, and more than a little distraught at the Princes' colorful descriptions by the time the last mare of the night stepped onto the stage. She was a small dark gray unicorn mare with beaker of neon green goo bubbling out of it plainly visible beneath her airy, gossamer dress. It was gathered up in tasteful ruffles about her legs and tail and accented by a darker green sash wrapped around her neck.

“Oh, my, such a gorgeous dress,” Lady Bluecoat remarked as the mare reached the end of the runway.

“Very...lovely,” Princess Blueblood managed to slowly force out.

“It's very airy and gossamer. It reminds me of a Mayfly,” the Prince replied.

“A Mayfly,” the Princess whispered, then turned to the Prince.

“A MAYFLY!? Thats what you came up with!?” she shouted.

The Prince shrugged and grinned, “It looks pretty.”

“You STUPID, IGNORANT, TASTELESS, WASTE OF IMMORTALITY” she shouted, leaping to her feet and managing to knock over the table.

“YOU LOW BROW, FOOLISH, IMMATURE OFFENSIVE BOOR! YOU WOULDN'T KNOW GOOD TASTE IF YOU HAD TONGUE OF THE FINEST CHEF IN EQUESTRIA TRANSPLANTED INTO THAT EMPTY HEAD OF YOURS!” she bellowed, turning a pure white, her mane and tail bursting into flames.

Lady Bluecoat scurried away from the Princesses wrath as did the mares in the bleachers closest to them. The mare in the gossamer dress backed away from the pair, but the Prince didn't move, even when Princess Blueblood angrily thrust her face into his.

“Your on fire,” he observed calmly.

“ARGH!” she shouted, tossing the table violently into some nearby bleachers with her magic and causing the occupants to scramble away.

“Please don't harm my subjects, Blueblood,” he said calmly.

Princess Blueblood screamed in frustration and charged at him, but in vain. Prince Lucen teleported away at the last second, appearing directly next to the mare on the stage. Whipping about sharply, the Princess set her murderous gaze on the pair and again stomped her hooves in rage.

“ARGH! SO THATS HOW IT IS! I WILL KILL THAT INSECT MYSELF!” the Princess bellowed and charged a second time.

Like the last attempt, the Prince teleported away, only this time her took the mare with him.

“Do calm down, Princess,” he said, his back to the crowd that was too scared to stay but too morbidly interested to flee.

“CALM DOWN? CALM DOWN!? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT THING BESIDE YOU IS!?” Princess Blueblood roard.

The grey coated mare slunk back a few steps.

“Princess, NO!” lady Bluecoat cried shrilly.

“THATS RIGHT YOU FILTHY LITTLE BUG, SLINK AWAY BACK TO YOUR QUEEN, SLINK AWAY BACK TO CHRYSALIS!” she enraged Princess charged a third time, only this time, she was stopped when the Prince grabbed her with his magic, holding her firmly up in the air inside a bubble of his magic

“Miss Synthect is not a filthy little bug, Princess, and I would appreciate it if you didn't refer to my friends like that,” the Prince said as she levitate the still struggling but not longer flaming princess in front of him.

“You fool,” she hissed, “That little 'friend' of yours is a changeling.”

“I know,” he replied.

The counter revelation seemed to take whatever remaining fight there was, out of her. The look of shock on her face would have been priceless to any of her many enemies. A dead silence reigned in the garden for several moments, the crowd gathered behind them not making so much as a whisper.

“You know?” she cried in surprise.

He turned and looked at Synthect who couldn't escape through the throng of mares behind her.

“Yeah, sure. I know she's a changeling. So what?” he asked nonchalantly.

A great murmur then a chatter then a burst of babbling arouse from the crowd. With no place to go, Synthect was pressed up against the Prince, her ears flat against her head, her tail between her legs.

“So he says,” cried Princess Blueblood as she struggled futilely against his magical grasp, “Has he forgotten that they once invaded our city to conquer us?!”

She was talking to the crowd now, not him.

“That's enough of that,” he replied. There was a loud pop, and she was gone, teleported way. Then another softer pop, as he and Synthect disappeared, leaving a confused and alarmed crowd of mares to wonder what had just happened.

Lady Bluecoat slipped out of the garden amidst the confusion, shaking her head and mane and muttering under her breath, “The little fool. I need to speak with her mother at once.”

Comments

[mastermenthe]

quite unexpected, but it does brick joke perfectly back to Synthect's laughter fit.