Excalibur wandered for well over an hour and was beginning to grow extremely tired, but he needed food and once he was fed, he could try and figure out a way home. He walked at a slow pace that would conserve his energy, but he could travel a good distance out. The purple stuff beneath him just kept going on and on, it just didn't seem like it was going to end, and the squishing sound was starting to make him sick and he couldn't be sick right now with nothing in his stomach.
The trees were starting to thin out and the spaces between them were starting to grow larger and larger, and the purple gunk seemed even grosser here, and he realized it was killing the trees. This normally wouldn't concern him, but he was tired and some airborne predator could possibly spot him easier now, so he was quite concerned now. He finally reached a spot where it appeared there were no trees what so ever, and the whole clearing was covered in, what he believed, completely unnatural structures.
He looked at each of them individually, but the one that drew his eye the most was a medium sized structure that appeared to be the shape of a dome, but it wasn't the structure that intrigued him, but the small noises coming from within. He recognized the sound, it was the sound of many infant creatures, all alone and helpless "These outta hit the spot" he whispered and approached the structure. He climbed up and poked his head behind it and saw about a dozen catterpillar shaped creatures, but all were about the size of a small dog.
Excalibur was about to leap over the ledge of the structure and kill about three of the creatures upon landing, and kill more before they realized he was upon them. He prepared to pounce when a large weight slammed into him, and he gasped from the pain that coursed through his already pained body. He landed with a heavy thud and looked to see what had attacked him and he saw a creature that was about the same size as he, but had more of a dog-like stance and body type. It had wicked oversized claws on its feet and equally wicked fangs poking out of its mouth.
Excalibur didn't know what to make of this creature, but when he gave it more thought, he realized the creatures he had been about to attack had been infants, and this must be their caretaker. He tried to make himself appear big before this monstrous creature, but that didn't work, so he let out a long scream, but it only flinched. "Brave bastard aren't you" he said to this creature, but it only hissed at him and growled. He tried to back away, hoping to find an easier meal, but the creature was determined and it ran at him, and Excalibur barely missed getting his face clawed off.
He ran at the creature while it was turned away, but it was much faster then he in his tired state and easily sidestepped him. He tumbled across the ground, and the creature leaped on him, and pinned him. He tried to slip from under the creature but it was no use, so he snapped his head forward and he felt his own fangs make contact and the creature was off of him, and had a trail of blood running from his eye.
Excalibur panted from the short fight, but this creature obviously wasn't finished and it ran at him again, and now he noticed something about this monster; it had giant hooked claws attached to a third set of limbs on its back. It tried to stab at him, and he was certain it was aiming for his head and more specifically, his eye, but he was able to jump away. It was determined now and all signs of restraint, if it had been doing so, was completely gone.
He tried a last ditch attempt of survival, he changed his shape as green flames traveled across his body, which had made the creature back off a bit, and he was a copy of the creature. It seemed confused at first, but it quickly realized it was still him, but in that brief moment of confusion, he leapt forward and with a sickening crunch, drove the claw on his back into the creatures neck. It gave a shudder, and stopped moving, but Excalibur didn't care, he just knew he had food and he was safe for the moment, but as he drove his head into the gaping hole in its neck he heard something, like a faint whisper and it was coming from the corpse. He realized this creature might be off a hive mind so there would be more soon, but he wasn't worried about that right now.
He was worried about the voice that was in the creatures head, he used his own hive mind system and quickly adapted to this new one and found that the whisper had been a message from the creature to someone higher then it, and most likely, stronger. He looked at the message and froze in horror at what he heard before it was gone with the creatures death.
"Powerful being located, shapeshifts, assimilate, For the Swarm"
Dude this story COULD be good but that WORD COUNT! Come on man you got to that word count up! And the prologue could use a little more detail.
2268460 Sorry i'll fix that
2268502 Sorry, but i'm more or less new to writing fanfictions so I have a low word count currently, but I really tried to bring it up with Chapter 2
I like your story idea, but the chapters are too short. Try adding your chapters together till you at least get 1k words. Makes for a better read.
2268530 Thank you for your advice, i'll try to get that, but i'm not promising anything
Skimmed through it and wasn't interesting. The prologue reads more like a long summary. There's nothing but bare bones and a potential for something that might be good. Then there's the main character's name. Why is his name Excalibur? It doesn't have anything to do with Changelings and how they are insects. Queen Chrysalis's name set up the standard of changeling names, assuming that there is a sense of individuality within what could be a hive mind or a somewhat semblance of representative government as many fan fictions have tried to fill in the blank. From there, we can assume much of what could be changeling names would be insect related unless otherwise stated. Oh and on another note, the profile picture is going to deter most people from reading this story. It looks like the making of a Gary Stu. Changelings all have a uniformed color scheme. So unless you explain how that came to be, just use a generic changeling picture will suffice.
Chapter 1, just like prologue, is too short. You need to flesh out these characters. Give the main character more than a few lines and thoughts and start building up his background. How much individuality and independence does he have from the Queen? If he is a mindless drone, make him scout the area with caution. Excalibur is in an unknown and possibly hostile location and that would most likely be his first plan of action. Make sure to address him from third person. He's a drone, not a pony. But if he does have independence, then give him a personality. One of the most important thing a story has to do is make the reader care about the character. Right now I don't care. Make me care...
Chapter 2 is much better. I still don't know anything about Excalibur but at least you're fleshing out your story. It almost reached the 1,000 word barrier but its getting better. Just go with what you're doing in Chapter 2, fix the prologue and first chapter and you should get a decent amount of likes and favorites.
2268587 ok, you just struck all the points of the story I was insecure about, but about the picture i'm using, thats how hes gonna looks by the end so please just have a bit of patience please and the prologue was deliberately short because we all know what happened at the wedding but I changed that one bit so ya, and space isn't all that amazing when your hurtling through it billions of miles an second and I couldn't think of a name so I gave him a heroic name cause thats what he is gonna be eventually.