We follow the tale of an adopted circus boy, who is out of work, when an old friend extends an invitation for another form of entertainment. Sadly James is not without flaws, a mutant with an unusual ability...
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Ah a background story! This one is really good (and sexy)
Just pay more attention to the narration - you keep switching between 1st and 3rd person.
2905677 this I know but I have no one to really tell me these things, but thank you I will try to avoid the jumping.
Always like some background in my stories!
I also hereby issue proclamations of my immense enjoyment of your artfully crafted literary construct! (i like your story)
Encouragement henceforth given to endeavor further with this fine effort! (moar pls)