When the dragon landed, Rainbow didn’t think twice. She ran. The Element of Loyalty, the bravest and coolest pony in all of Equestria, was now cowering in the bushes trying not to be seen. “What is wrong with me?!” She thought to herself. She should have stayed out there! She should have put that dragon in its place.
As she looked at the dragon, horrifying memories of her first encounter with one flashed through her mind. How she had almost gotten her friends killed. For weeks afterward she had nightmares about what would have happened if Fluttershy hadn’t intervened. Burned to ashes by dragon fire, crushed beneath the dragon’s talons, or eaten alive and doomed to a slow death by digestion. She trembled as she realized, that she had developed a fear of dragons. She looked at the clearing once more and her blood ran cold.
Fluttershy was still out there! Her face wasn’t one of confidence and anger like the first time. Now it was locked in an expression of pure terror as she gazed up at the dragon.
“You harmed my Rider!” A voice tore through Rainbow’s mind making her clutch her head in pain. “You will pay!” The dragon reared its head back like a snake about to strike. Eragon shouted something, but it seemed to have no effect on the dragon. Blue flames streamed out of the dragon’s mouth, engulfing Fluttershy in an inferno hot enough to melt steel.
“NNNOOOOOOOO!” The other ponies yelled. Rainbow stared in horror as Fluttershy’s silhouette fell to the ground and didn’t move. Behind her she could hear Pinkie beginning to cry. She tried to deny what she had seen. It was a dream. She was hallucinating. It wasn’t real…was it? She slammed her hoof into a tree and grunted in pain. She couldn’t deny it now. It was real. All of it was real. She…she should have done something. She should have pushed her out of the way. She should have stayed with her and taken the fire alongside her. Anything but hide like a coward!
Satisfied that Fluttershy was dead, the dragon turned to the bushes where the others were hiding. It raked its claws across the top of the bushes and exposed the frightened ponies underneath. It breathed another stream of flame but Twilight blocked it with a magic shield. The dragon snarled and slammed its claws into the shield. Twilight winced as the shield cracked.
“Saphira stop!” Eragon yelled at the dragon. But the dragon ignored him. It slammed its claws into the shield again. Twilight yelled in pain as the shield broke and collapsed. As Rainbow looked up at the dragon, every fiber of her being screamed at her to run. But to do that would be to betray her Element. And she would never do so again.
She stood over her friends and glared at the dragon. “You wanna kill us?! Come on then!!” The dragon obliged as it prepared to breath fire for the third and final time.
“Malthinae!” Eragon shouted. The dragon yelped in surprise as its legs and wings were bound to its sides and its mouth was muzzled by an unseen force. The dragon thrashed its neck and tail as it tried to get free.
“What is the meaning of this?!” The voice from before said in everyone’s mind. “Eragon, they attacked you. They injured you! Why are you defending them?!”
“Wait…Eragon, this thing knows you?!” Rainbow asked in shock.
“That thing has a name you know.” The dragon growled through its invisible muzzle.
“To answer your question Saphira, it was a misunderstanding. When I first met these six I did not know if they were intelligent.”
“Hey!” Applejack protested. “Just because I don’t live in one o’ them fancy cities doesn’t mean that I’m not smart!”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way. Anyway, I probed their leader’s mind for their intentions and found resistance. They attacked me, believing that I was a threat. I didn’t lash out because, from the glimpse into their minds, I knew that they don’t attack unless they or one of their kin are threatened. Once I told them that I was a friend they backed down, but not after giving me a broken arm.” Eragon then turned to the ponies.
“Everyone, I’d like for you to meet Saphira. She is my dragon, and I am her Rider. I’m sorry that she attacked you. She can be over protective of me at times.”
“SORRY?!” Eragon stumbled back as Rainbow flew up to his face. “That…that thing killed her.” She pointed to Saphira. “It killed Fluttershy and all you have to say is SORRY?!”
“She isn’t dead.”
“HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?! I watched her die. We all did! There is no way she could have survived!” Eragon moved aside and revealed Fluttershy’s corpse. But…was it her corpse?
An area of grass had been blackened and scorched. But Fluttershy had no burns adorning her skin and no of her fur was scorched.
“How is she unmarked?” Saphira asked.
“Yes how?!” Twilight exclaimed, having woken up just before Saphira’s introduction. “Nopony has ever been able to shield somepony else directly from fire. Not even Starswirl could!”
“Well I did.” Eragon walked over to Fluttershy’s body and placed his hand on her head. “Wake.” He said in the tongue of the Elves. To everyone’s surprise and amazement, Fluttershy’s eyes slowly opened.
“F…Fluttershy?” Rainbow asked hesitantly.
Fluttershy shakily stood up. “H-hi girls.”
“FLUTTERSHY!” Her friends shouted, causing her to jump. Then her friends tackled her into a hug.
“I knew you were still alive!” Pinkie exclaimed.
“W-what happened? What do you mean by I’m still alive?”
“The dragon…the fire…I-I thought it had killed you!” Rainbow said between sobs.
“Dragon?” Fluttershy turned and saw Saphira, who had been released from her invisible bonds. She screamed in fear as she saw the one who tried to kill her. She dove behind her friends, trying to hide. Then another mind, one that emanated comfort, sadness, and guilt touched hers.
“Come here small one. I will not harm you.”
“Why? Y-you tried to kill me.”
“Eka weohnatta neit haina ono.” Saphira said. For some reason, Fluttershy felt comforted by those words even though she could not understand them. Fluttershy slowly stepped forward, ready to bolt if Saphira showed any signs of hostility.
“I…I’m sorry for attacking you. I should have questioned Eragon before I landed. I was not of clear judgment. I know that you may never forgive me, but know that I am sorry.”
Saphira hung her head in shame. She started as she felt something. She looked and saw that Fluttershy was nuzzling her cheek. “Shhh. It’s ok. I forgive you.”
“You…you do?”
“Of course. You had every right to be angry. We hurt Eragon and you two obviously share a very strong bond.”
To everyone’s amazement, Saphira bowed to Fluttershy! “Fluttershy, ono celobra eka mulabra ono ne haina. Atra nosu waise fricai?”
“Sure.” Fluttershy said, then she hugged Saphira’s snout.
Admit it. You thought Fluttershy was dead.
3184098
never
This looks good, but I think it could be even better if the chapters were longer. Also, Pinkie saying your name completely breaks the immersion and wasn't really necessary in this kind of story, especially in the tone of that comfort scene.
Dah!
Fuck you for scareing me...
3184098 I had a feeling she was alive otherwise you would have had to end this story early.
Stache for me.
Your chapters are a bit fast, though they do have a decent amount of emotion and detail to them. This chapter felt like it rushed through though, sure you left off at the attack last time, but wouldn't there be a bit more terror in the face of an enraged dragon protecting/avenging her rider? Some more tension building would have been nice, you know, suspense! Make me grit my teeth when Saphira's fire engulfs Fluttershy, make shiver when Rainbow feels fear, make it seem like Twilight's shield is far less than up to the task! I mostly just ... Read it. And, while maybe in the world of canon show the ponies are quick to forgive and forget, unless Fluttershy is seriously THAT easy to do so, wouldn't there be a more genuine amount of hesitation to approach the thing that just tried to roast you, even if she used the elf tongue? Would've been nice to see some more emotion there.
3184168 unless of course the author had decided not to write the story after a few months of break and wanted to end it with an evil laugh and troll us like a boss.
3184160 Sorry about that. I've deleted that.
3184487 Thanks for the criticism. I will try to improve my writing.
I liked it. but you should do what i did and find somepony to help you with it. I stink at the background work. so i have a co-writer on my story and i make the story (my chapters are normally short as this one and fast) and he goes in with me and we talk about how we can extend it. so far it has made my story much better. I know you said that you really liked it as well.
my story will be a little slow in coming out as my friend is in school but thats okay.
as to your story this part
though i understand what is being said, Fluttershy would not understand enough to just say sure. she would only understand a feeling or maybe what the meaning behind the words were but not what they said. you might change that but that is up to you.
Good to see your back.
Any way it good but i felt like it was a little fast
also you gave me a heart attack with that fluttershy
keep it up
Chapters need to be longer. The story runs way too fast. You should never have started. You are a terrible person. The cake was a lie. Screw you. Yes I'm still pissed that you beat me to this.
3185493 Dat too.
3186137 Geez, dude, constructive criticism is okay, but this is just pure hate, calm down man
One does not simply *kill* Fluttershy.
3186137 I'm finishing this story weather you like it or not.
3186016 I was actually thinking of that! Do you know anyone who could help me who is here on the site?
3186137beat you to what? an Eragon crossover? i am writing one as well and when i started there was one that was canceled and this one. but i am still making mine.
3193436all i did was search the groups for a proofreading one, joined and posted asking for help. seemed to make a huge difference
Its being continued!!! Lol. Fluttershy had no idea what Saphira just said. Oh, and providing Ancient language translations would be great :)
>MFW story updates
emotibot.net/pix/4729.jpg
3193436
My word sir. I never said I didn't like it(might be a lie because my mind is notorious for forgetting). In fact I hope that your foray into mlp Eragon crossovers is highly successful. I just resent tue fact that you beat me to the punch. A meXmonopoly shipping would suicide bomb teh internet.
3210028 So? You didn't have to be the first. You can still write an mlp/Eragon crossover. Why don't you make the Mane 6 go to Alageasia instead of Eragon going to Equestria? Might be pretty good.
3210148 hey dude. You forgot about the elves.
3211838 the elves are probably waiting for Eragon. He told he would go alone, even though Blödgharm would resent it, cause he is his bodyguard. And saphira only came because of the mind link they shared.
3211838 They'll be back. I promise.
3217733
3210148
Now we both know that the Mane 6 ending up in Alagaesia could be good but would also be insanely hard to write in a way that doesn't seem ludicrously idiotic... I think I might try ir... Just not all 6.... That'd make Thorn eat them...
3243098 Maybe just Twi or Flutters?
3252411
Pinkie Pie is the only one who could keep up with the slew of insanity that a war involving dragons and idiotic kings would bring... That aftermath'd scare any sane person/pony.
3257699 Do whatever you wish. It is your story. Write it as you see fit.
My god. THAT IS F****** AMAZING
3262257
No thanks... I'll just hide in my wardrobe and wait out the zambie duck apocalypse.
Fluttershy hugging Saphira dawwwwwww
Fair enough job for a fanfic but it isn't perfect, I shall keep watch.
3186137 You can always write about it. People like variation.
3184098
Nah, she used the Armor Lock
halo.bungie.org/bwu/images/lg/Reach_MPBeta_ArmorLock2.jpg