Prologue: Dark Roots
Dark Shadows
Written by Music Brush with the assistance of Mechafone.
Prologue:
Dark Roots
The air was cool with the added breeze that blew through the grass as the crickets and other night dwellers chirped their mating calls. Princess Luna's moon was high above the Crystal Empire as all her ponies, save for the royal guard on their patrol, were sound asleep in their homes. There was little light, save for the street lights, in the city.
Among the crystal houses, the front door of one slowly crept open and a unicorn stallion poked his head out, looking left and right to see if any of the guards on duty were in the immediate area. He had a deep brown colored coat with a darker mane and tale and his cutie mark was a few black stars surrounding a white sphere. When he was sure there were no guards on the street he slipped out of the house with a saddlebag on his back, closed the door behind him and began to quietly trot down the road towards the city entrance.
"Fear not, my lord." He whispered to the air. "The time comes when all will be yours again." He rounded a corner and quickly ducked back behind the house as he saw two guards trotting his way. "Horse feathers!" He cursed under his breath. "If only these foal-ish guards were not around to serve that... that crystal tyrant!" He hissed the last words in the air.
"Did you hear that?" Came one of the guard's voices.
"It came from over there." The other replied.
The hoof steps of the guards began to grow louder, a sign they were coming his way. He could not allow himself to get caught, not when he was so close to achieving his goal. He looked the other direction and found an opening between the house he was standing by and its neighbor. He quickly, but quietly, slipped over to the opening and into the little alleyway. He tip-hoofed through the alley to the other side and trotted through the back yard of the house back on the road and resumed his course.
"Do not worry, my lord." He called out again. "I will not rest until I have returned you to your full glory." He continued his pursuit to the city boundaries with more haste. Once or twice, he had to take alternative routes when he came across more guards on their patrol, all the while keeping his muzzle closed to avoid any more close calls.
He stopped beside a house keeping himself hidden from a group of guards that were conversing with another group. "Did they report to Prince Shining Armor?" One guard asked.
"Yes sir!" A female guard replied. "The Prince has ordered extra troops out to search for anything suspicious."
"Very good." The first said. "Resume the search and report back if you find anything."
"Yes sir!" Two voices replied. The unicorn's heart started beating faster, the guards knew something was going on, which made his mission even harder to complete. He heard hoof steps coming his way and bolted to the other side of the house as the guards came around the corner, one group of two went one direction while the other group of two went the opposite direction. He stayed there until the guards were out of sight, then proceeded out of the housing development.
He was out in the open fields now, where large crystal stones protruded from the ground and no guards were present. From what he heard, his sneaking around the city caused some suspicion among the guards. which caused the Prince to call in extra security. Not that it mattered, he was close to his goal now. Just a little further and he would find the place where the great one's horn was cut off by the spell used by Princess Cadence over a year ago.
According to several witnesses from that day, the unicorn managed to locate where King Sombra's horn was severed from his forehead and found the general area of which it fell just before his final downfall and the rise of the false crystal ruler, Princess Cadence. Ever since he found the horns location he set in motion a series of plans to recreate the true king of the Crystal Empire.
He paused behind a crystal to catch his breath and calm his nerves. "Just a little further, my lord." He said as he took a breath. "Just a little further and you will return to this world and reclaim what was stolen from you." After a few minutes of rest, he took in a deep breath and illuminated his horn with black shadow-like magic. He turned his head left and right, watching the shadows of his horn growing stronger as he faced the right. "That is where it will happen." He stated, then began running in the direction the shadows grew stronger.
He came to an area where the crystal stones were fewer in number, this was where the boundaries of the Crystal Empire came to an end and the frozen arctic began. He stopped short when the shadows of his horn suddenly grew weak, signaling he had passed his target. He turned back around to a spot on the ground where the shadows grew stronger again and the ground itself became alive with dark magic. He let go of the spell and the shadows around his horn disappeared with the magic coming from the ground.
He reached back into his saddlebags with his magic and pulled out an old book with no title. The leather back cover was worn and falling apart. He levitated the book in front of his muzzle and delicately opened its pages. The pages were filled with hoof written instructions on spells and other dark secrets not even mentioned in high security textbooks or Equestrian History. He flipped through the pages until he came across the information he was looking for.
"I am here, my lord." He said, looking up from the book to the place on the ground. "Through your guidance and instructions, I have come as your faithful servant." He placed the book gently on the ground in front of him then removed the saddlebags from his back onto the ground. "And now, my lord, I shall bring you back into this world."
He levitated the book once again and began to read through the page as he ignited his horn in the dark shadow-like magic. The magic also began to show in the ground and the wind began to pick up around him while he proceeded to read. "Let the King be reborn into this world as I give my magic to give him life!" He called over the wind, the shadow from his horn began to spread and flow like a small black cloud toward the ground. The wind intensified as a black crystal started to sprout from the ground, jagged points growing in all directions.
It seemed to go on for hours before the crystal grew as large as a pony and the unicorn broke his connection with the magic, the shadows from his horn flew into the crystal and lingered around it for a minute. The unicorn dropped to the ground, completely drained from using the spell as he gasped for air. The book landed with a thud on the ground in front of his muzzle. He looked up at the black crystal that had formed from the ground in his efforts, and smiled victoriously. The new black object was pulsing with energy that slowly grew faint with time, but it was complete.
He staggered to his hooves, dropping back down a few times before he stood at half his full height then dragged his hooves as he walked up to the new dark crystal he had just created. "Now..." he panted, "... all that is left... is one touch..." He reached up with a shaking hoof for the crystal. "Now... the King will return." The dark object began to glow around the area his hoof was reaching for. Slowly, his hoof got closer to its target and then...
"STOP!"
He looked over to find a large number of guards lead by a familiar white unicorn with a blue mane coming his way. He looked back with determination as he reached his hoof for the crystal only to be stopped by an aura of magic. "No!" He cried. "He must return! I must bring back King Sombra!" He was just inches away from coming in contact with the black jagged form before the guards got to him and pulled him away as he cried out to let him go.
The black color faded away, turning the dark object into a clear pony sized crystal. The unicorn cried out in despair as he saw the magic fade into nothing while the guards held him in place. Shining Armor stepped in between the unicorn and the new crystal, his horn glowing as he looked it up and down. After a few minutes of examining the object he turned to face the unicorn, his eyes filled with accusation.
"Blackstar Globe!" Shining Armor barked professionally. "I hereby place you under arrest for conspiracy against the Crystal Empire and by extension my wife, Princess Cadence!"
"You do not understand!" Blackstar huffed. "This empire needs its King! Not some pretenders like you and that crystal tyrant!" Shining glared at him, his horn flared slightly and the guards took notice of this. Shining wanted to strike at Blackstar so badly right now, and it showed.
"Take him away, lieutenant!" He ordered one of the guards holding Blackstar.
"Yes, your highness!" The lieutenant replied. He and the other guards holding Blackstar began carrying him away towards the palace, several of the others followed after, a few picked up the saddlebags and the old book. Shining looked up at the crystal again as one of the guards who remained with him approached.
"Your highness?" She asked. He looked down at her after a minute. "Are you alright?" He looked away for a minute then nodded his head after taking in a deep breath.
"Yeah, I'm fine." He answered. He turned back to face her with a smile. "You've done a great job tonight." His words made her cheeks flush.
"Thank you Shi- eh... your highness."
"You can call me Shining, if you want." He said with a reassuring smile.
"No, I must remain focused." She countered.
"It's alright." He said. She was about to speak up again but he silenced her by placing a gentle hoof on her shoulder. "You did great tonight. You followed your orders and helped us capture Blackstar before anything happened." After a minute, she smiled at his words of encouragement. "Now, let's return to the palace." He called to the rest of the guards, who saluted him with a 'yes sir' and began trotting back towards the city boundaries. Shining looked back at the new crystal once again with a look of concern. The crystal was now lifeless and clear, no more than any other crystal in the empire, with the exception of the jagged edges. He turned from the crystal and followed his crew.
~~)oOo(~~
Cadence was pacing back and forth in her and Shining's private chambers. The guards came in over an hour ago, saying they suspected somepony was sneaking around the streets, possibly an assassination attempt. Shining had ordered extra guards be put on alert, and soon joined them after placing a few guards by their room to make sure nothing would happen here.
"Oh, aunt Celestia, please let him be okay!" She said to herself as she continued her pacing. Just then, she heard hoof steps coming from outside her door with an 'at ease' from her husband’s voice. Her heart was racing a mile a minute as she watched the door open to reveal her husband, smiling at his wife as he entered. She ran up to him, wrapping her forelegs around Shining's neck as he returned her embrace.
"I'm alright, Cadence." He said reassuringly to her as he rubbed her back. She pulled away from him, her hooves on his shoulders.
"Did you find him?" She asked, concern in her voice. His smile faded instantly before he nodded his answer.
"It was Blackstar Globe." She blinked at this. "A few crystal ponies near the end of the city limits reported seeing a unicorn sneaking around their homes, avoiding the guards on patrol. We followed his trail and found him reaching out to some crystal."
"A crystal?" She asked. He nodded.
"I don't know why," he said, walking her over to their bed. "... but he seemed real desperate about that crystal, and it didn't look like any of the others I've seen." He helped his wife onto their bed, a slight look of fear in her eyes.
"You don't think it's him, do you?" She asked.
"Blackstar said something about bringing back King Sombra," he replied. “I inspected the crystal myself. I didn't sense anything coming from it, but I had a letter sent to Celestia and Twilight telling them what's going on. They'll be here in the morning to check it out." A sense of relief filled her eyes and they stared at each other for a minute before leaning in for a kiss and laid down on the bed as they embraced each other.
~~)oOo(~~
Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor were waiting on the balcony of the palace for Celestia and Twilight to arrive to investigate the mysterious crystal. Guards were stationed at the doorway and throughout the halls of the palace and streets of the empire keeping an eye on the two and for any strange activity.
Cadence stood next to her husband while he wrapped a hoof over her shoulders. She looked up at him, a gaze he returned. "They should be here any minute." He said.
"I'm not worried." She replied, staring in his eyes with a happy smile. He smiled at her and leaned in for a kiss. The two looked up and saw a horse drawn carriage coming their way. A trumpet sounded as the carriage got closer signaling the arrival of the Princesses. Cadence and Shining turned and trotted into the palace to go and meet their guests as the guards followed. They traversed through the hallways, down the stairs and out through the main doors. By the time they had arrived, Celestia's carriage was pulling to a stop, Twilight looking out the window with an excited smile on her face.
"Cadence!" Twilight cheered as she opened the door to the carriage and ran out to her sister.
"Twilight!" Cadence replied, trotting over to meet her halfway. When they were face to face with each other, they performed their 'Sunshine, Sunshine' greeting shake, then laughed and giggled as they embraced each other. Celestia and Shining smiled at the two sisters as they did their usual greeting they performed since they were young. Twilight then turned to face Shining and ran up to him.
"Hey B.B.B.F.F!" She called as she flew up, wrapping her hooves around him.
"Hey, Twily," he said as he wrapped his hooves around her. After they finished hugging, Shining looked up to Princess Celestia.
"Shining Armor." She said. "It is a pleasure to be here. Thank you for having us."
"Thank you for coming, Princess." He replied.
"You said in your letter you wanted Twilight and I to examine a crystal?" She asked, her expression calm and regal.
"Yes," he replied. "If you will follow me, I'll show you where it is." Celestia inclined her head then followed Shining and Cadence towards the area where he arrested Blackstar and saw that strange crystal while the guards followed. As they all trotted through the streets, crystal ponies showed their respect to the royal family by bowing their heads as they passed. Shining lead the Princesses out of the city limits toward the main entrance and into the open fields around the many stones protruding from the ground. A few minutes of trekking later, they saw a stone that looked different from the rest, not far from the main entrance of the empire that lead to the train station.
"This is the crystal, Princess." Shining said, pointing a hoof. Both Twilight and Celestia drew closer to the strange jagged object.
"I have to say," Twilight observed. "... it looks like one of Sombra's crystals, just without the black color." She noticed the two pillars marking the entrance to the empire. "And right at the main gate." She added.
"You're right, Twilight." Celestia said.
Both the alicorns took turns examining the crystal. Twilight went first, her horn glowing as her magic illuminated the clear jagged form before her. Nothing out of the ordinary happened, and after several long minutes she let her magic drop, breathing heavily from slight fatigue. She narrowed her eyes at the object with a look of curiosity. She obviously was intrigued. Celestia then performed the same process of illuminating the crystal with her magic, though her time spent examining it took longer.
Shining Armor and Cadence stood side by side as they watched the two alicorns examine the crystal when a guard came running to them as he called for the Prince. Shining looked over to the guard as he stopped and saluted him.
"Sir!" The guard panted.
"Yes, lieutenant. What is it?" Shining replied with a salute.
"It's about Blackstar, sir." The lieutenant answered.
"Has he said anything?" Shining asked. The lieutenant shook his head.
"He won't be saying anything at this point," he answered, and hesitated before continuing, "I'm afraid to say Blackstar Globe has died, sir." Shining blinked at this new information.
"What happened?" Shining asked. The lieutenant looked away for a second before continuing with hesitation.
"He... he just didn't wake up this morning. He was drained from whatever he did last night and didn't have enough strength to recover."
"And whatever he did doesn't seem to have lasted at all here." Twilight stated. The others looked over to her while Celestia continued her examination. "Tell me what you saw last night, Shining." She stated to her brother.
"Well," Shining began. "... we had received reports of a unicorn sneaking around the housing area, avoiding the guards on patrol. We picked up his trail and followed him out here. It could've been because it was dark, but I could swear I saw the crystal was black when we stopped Blackstar." Twilight hummed as she nodded her head and turned back to the crystal. "What do you think, Twily?" He asked. She shook her head before answering.
"Whatever the spell was that he cast," She observed. "...it was incomplete, and you stopped him before he could finish it."
"Very good, Twilight." Celestia said as she turned from the crystal.
"But, what kind of spell did he use?" Twilight asked. "I didn't detect any trace of magic, like everything was drained from it."
"I don't know, Twilight." Celestia answered as she shook her head. "This magic is beyond my knowledge."
"So, is this crystal a threat?" One of the guards asked, tension showing in his form. Twilight was a little tense as well. This was magic beyond hers and Celestia's current knowledge, and she was unsure of what to expect. She turned her gaze to the high Princess to wait for her conclusion. Celestia turned from the strange object to face the rest with a reassuring smile.
"I don't believe this Crystal carries any threat to the Crystal Empire." She stated. "You have nothing to fear, lieutenant." Some of the guards nodded their approval at the Princess' conclusion, while others still showed signs of uncertainty.
"Well, we don't want this trip of yours to be a waste." Cadence said. "Would you like to stay for lunch?" She asked. Twilight beamed at the idea, and Celestia smiled with a nod of approval.
"That would be lovely." She answered. "Thank you, Cadence." They all began to trot back towards the palace when a sudden breeze blew through the air, blowing a few feathers from the alicorns' wings and sending them flying in random directions. One of Celestia's feathers flew through the air, guided by the wind that carried it as it swirled around and landed on the crystal.
Everypony was gone from the area, back in the city limits leaving the new crystal alone with Celestia's feather clinging to its form. Where the feather lay, the crystal began to glow faintly, the wind picking up around it as the glow increased in brightness, engulfing it’s jagged form and the feather. They were now one pure light and began to levitate into the air, its form changing as it decreased in size and began to take the shape of a pony. The form collapsed to the ground and the glow faded away as the wind died down, leaving behind a little filly.
The filly lay there lifeless in the grass for several long minutes before her eyes shot open, and a fierce gasp of life filled her lungs for the first time. She bolted up to her hooves and looked frantically at her surroundings. Her heart raced dangerously high as she looked left and right, the sun blinding her eyes, the wind beating against her ears, the grass pricking at her hooves. In her state of panic she tripped over her hooves and landed face first into the grass with a thud and an "oof!" She looked up and her eyes met the great palace in the distance as she began to adjust to the light. She felt a high desire of nothing but to claim its beauty for herself, a desire that frightened her. She began stepping back away from the crystal palace before she turned away from it and bolted into a run.
The filly ran for hours before her legs gave out and she couldn't run any more. She was tired, hungry and thirsty and the snow did not help in any way other than providing a cold drink. She would have frozen to death in the arctic if she had not found a small farm where she rested long enough to sneak some food and warmth before the farmer chased her off by means of a pitchfork. It was not long after that she cleared the frozen region and found warmer places where she stopped to rest under wild trees at night time to sleep, then resumed her trek the next morning. After several days, even weeks of random trekking, the filly had entered a thick forest and was now traversing through its thick trunks and loose vines hanging from the branches.
She stopped to rest by a river, tired and hungry. She sat down on the shoreline and splashed the water on her face. She looked down at the water as it settled and she gazed down at her reflection. Her coat and mane were pure white and her eyes were red. A horn was dawned on her forehead and she look down her side to find she had more. She stretched her white wings out to find they were perfectly straight and healthy, minus the dirt and grime smudging every corner. She looked down to find her white tail all torn and tattered from her long journey, and it made her frown.
A noise that came from the bushes behind her not only captured her attention, but made her jump. She turned her gaze to find a pair of glowing green eyes glaring at her hungrily as well as a very foul smell in the air. Her body began to quiver in place as she stared at the timberwolf slowly approaching her, its teeth bared and its breath rancid.
When the monster was fully visible, she could no longer take the pressure of standing there any longer. She bolted in the direction she was going before, her wings aiding in her speed as the timberwolf chased after her, snarling and barking furiously. She ran through some bushes, the twigs and small branches cutting her coat and hair, but she ignored them and continued her running.
She spotted a tree up ahead and ran right for it, flapping her wings down as she jumped up the trunk to the high thick branches. She stopped on a branch long enough to look back down and see the timber wolf climbing up to get its prey. She resumed climbing higher until she heard a roar followed by some rustling and crashing on the ground.
After finding a new branch to sit on, she looked back to find the timberwolf being pulled down the trunk of the tree by an ursa. The timberwolf slashed its claws at the ursa, causing it to loose its grip on the tree, allowing the ursa to pull it from the tree and throw it back to another tree. The timberwolf collided with the tree and fell to the ground with a whimper as splinters of its wooden body scattered before staggering to its feet and charging the ursa.
The ursa swung it’s massive claw at the tree monster, which jumped over the claw and landed on its shoulder, digging its teeth deep into the ursa's flesh to draw blood. The ursa roared in pain and reached for the wolf with its spare claw and threw the little monster off it. The wolf rolled on the ground a few times before stopping, staggering to its feet once again as the ursa came charging for it. Before the timberwolf could do anything, the ursa slashed with it’s claw and threw the wolf into the trees. Not yet finished with the timberwolf, the ursa roared and ran after it into the forest.
The filly panted heavily as her heart pounded in her throat, tears streaming down her face as she thought about the last several weeks. She just woke up outside a beautiful crystal palace of which she had strong desires to claim as her own. She ran away from the palace, not knowing where she was going or even cared to know, she just wanted to get away at once. Her journey was long, harsh, and treacherous and she more than once was about to give up before finding things to eat or drink. Finally, she was just attacked by a fierce monster in this deep, dark forest, and thought she was about to die so soon after just waking up. She buried her head in her hooves as she let out muffled sobs. After a few minutes of crying, she passed out from exhaustion.
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Nice! Great job with this, man, an excellent start to this.
2238128
Allow me to critique. if you would.
Grammar wise, I noticed a few errors, but nothing completely cringe worthy. I also noticed you spell crystal with an h. I'm not very familiar with that spelling of the word but I guess it's whatever makes you comfortable. On a similar note, you use that word a lot. I know we're in the Crystal Empire and the chapter is focused around a crystal, but I feel there might have been ways to reduce the number of times you said it.
Anyway, the story itself is off to a decent start. Your exposition is good but has room for improvement which is great. Characterization so far is good. The dialogue itself is good, however...
When you put an action tag like, 'he said', or 'she replied,' unless it's a character's name, it shouldn't be capitalized. Also there shouldn't be a period at the end because the action tag is part of the sentence. Example:
Because what the guard is saying is technically one sentence with an action tag just describing, well, his actions; commas should be used instead of periods. Also switch out the second 'he' with 'and' or something of the like to avoid repetition and create a better flow.
Sorry, I'm ranting, let's move on.
Again, your exposition is pretty good with the new filly. At this point there are two things nagging me though.
One is, and I'm just assuming, that she ended up in the Everfree Forest. Honestly, there's no way she could have made it from the empire to Ponyville in less than a day. Alicorn or not, she's still a filly and the distance between the two places is quite large.
Second is the random Ursa attack. The Timberwolf was okay, you could have built up a little more to it but it was fine, however, I feel the Ursa was just really out of place and sudden. I think you can think of other ideas of getting rid of the timberwolf.
All in all it was a fairly decent chapter. But now there is something I must warn you about.
You are writing a story in the same vein as Past Sins. These are dangerous waters you're trying to navigate. You are going to have to make your story the best it can possibly be and also try to deviate some from the original work or you will be torn to piece... or downvoted to the depths of Tartarus. I don't want to see that happen to you so make sure you know with absolute certainty what you are doing. Also, since this is Sombra's reincarnation, she really doesn't have to be an alicorn. Sombra wasn't an alicorn, just saying.
One final note, the short description you have, what people see when they're browsing, you might wanna shorten it. Seems a tad spoilery.
I will watch this and see where it goes.
2238433 Thank you for the advice. I'm trying to make this one the best I can and I was planing on going back to this chapter to make some changes here and there. I thought crystal was spelled with an h for a while, so that's a fail on my part. Sorry,I don't have spell check.
I'm thinking a 'lot' about this story so it doesn't end up like bast sins.
In the matter of the filly being an alicorn,I know I didn't have to make her one, I just saw opportunity here to creat one. I mean, if I realy wanted, I would have made this character a grey unicorn with black mane and red eyes and a colt, not a filly.
Just to some it up, I'm realy challenging myself to make something good and the audience will like. So this is what I've got to start with.
Thank you again for the pointers and critique. I'll be going back to make changes and fix what errers I can spot.
I liked to read "Past Sins" and I hope this story will bind me too
Is Petunia an alicorn or a pegasus? Also, will you have Fluttershy confronting Sombra who possesses Petunia and have her say something along the lines of "Give me back my daughter"?
2242197 Petunia is an alicorn. Origionaly I didn't intend to make her an alicorn but when the idea crossed my mind, I saw it as a good opportunity to make an attempt at that wich is hard to get approval from the audience. And I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing for the end yet.
Good start, I look forward to seeing where this story will go.
2242540 I'm glad people are liking this story. I've been putting a lot of time into this, so it's makes me happy that people are approving this.