• Published 1st Mar 2013
  • 3,428 Views, 64 Comments

A Stranger to the World - Perceptive Key



Alex Harper's life is one spent alone, until he's thrown into Equestria and crash lands in Twilight Sparkle's library. In his search to return home, Alex finds that some of this land is much more enigmatic then he first thought.

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A Short Scene With Food in It (Revised)

Chapter Seven
A Short Scene With Food in It

Alex opened his eyes and found himself staring at the white ceiling of his -recently discovered- bedroom. The curtains were drawn, but thin patches of late-afternoon sunlight stabbed through and assaulted his eyes. He lifted his hand to cover his face and gave a soft groan.

"You are a surprising being, Alex Harper."

Alex instantly sat up. The voice came from his left, so he turned, only to find Witt sitting in a chair. The brown stallion was wearing a thoughtful expression as he stared back at Alex through his goggles. "What... happened to me?" he asked, shaking his head.

"You survived," Witt answered. "A fantastic feat, considering that you leapt from a ninety-story tower. Then again, it's not the first time," he turned aside.

Alex sighed and leaned back on his elbows, taking some time to think.

Wait a minute. Both of his elbows? Alex checked his left arm for bandages, but found that the sling had been removed. His arm was perfectly fine. No bruising or anything malformed.

"It appeared that your injuries had repaired themselves after we brought you back up here," Witt explained.

"But... how?" Alex stared at his body, and previously broken limbs, in disbelief.

"You triggered a massive amount of cellular regeneration."

"So... I basically came back to life?"

"If you prefer the dumbed down version, then yes. Your death triggered a special sort of... healing process... that restored your body to perfect health, and the most interesting factor," Witt continued, "is that there are only six, no," he thought for a moment, "five other beings that have that ability. You have put that count back to six as of a few minutes ago. This is because you were recently a stain -not a proverbial stain, but a physical stain, mind you- on the castle grounds. You were practically mush, as you stated. All of your bones were shattered, your nerves spilled out like pasta, and your brain was nothing more than a red sludge. It reminded me of gelatin, actually," Witt frowned.

Alex winced at the mental image that Witt described. "I was beyond dead, huh?"

"Most definitely," Witt confirmed with a smile. "Now, I'll have to leave before the Princesses decide to order my execution. Again." He slid off the chair and trotted up to Alex's bedside. "On final thought, though I must be brief." The brown unicorn leaned in close, and his expression suddenly became deadly serious. "I have but one question for you, Alex Harper," Witt's voice deepened slightly.

The change in the, as far as Alex knew, usually uplifting unicorn caused Alex to shift uncomfortably. "What's that?" he asked nervously.

"Do you want to live?" Witt asked.

"Um..."

"You have until tomorrow to reply," he added quickly. He turned his back to Alex and slowly made his way to the doors, but he stopped. "Unless, of course," he said, "you aren't already dead." Witt exited the room leaving Alex to his own devices.

It took another moment, but Alex jolted himself out of his brief stupor. "What do you mean?!" he called, "What the hell are you talking about?!"

In the outer laboratory, Princess Celestia and Hart were waiting for Witt. The unicorn trotted through the door, carefully closing it behind him "So?" Celestia asked, "What did you want to ask him?"

Witt walked up to the Princess and smirked, "That's for me to know and you to learn in approximately fourteen hours."

"Doctor Hart," Celestia addressed the pony next to her, "inform Alex that dinner will be ready shortly."

"Yes, Princess," Hart bowed.

"And Hart?" Witt gained the doctor's attention.

Hart turned to face him, "What?"

The brown unicorn grinned, "Make sure he chooses something good." The grey-coated Doctor grumbled a brief -and censor-worthy- response before entering Alex's room.

Alex was still examining his body when Hart entered, a wide smile on the pony's face. "Alex! Great to see you're up! The Princesses are expecting you in the dining hall."

"Alright," Alex answered without looking up.

Hart sighed. "You should really choose something better to wear," he said as he gestured to Alex's torn jeans and bare torso.

Alex nodded and, in one fluid motion, swept the covers aside and landed on the floor. He brushed past Hart and made hi way over to the drawers. Pulling one open at random, he was rewarded with a stockpile of assorted polo shirts and jeans. Alex silently dug through the garments and pulled out a black polo with white stripes running vertically down the left and right sides, along with a pair of dark blue, denim jeans. He nodded in self approval and slid the shirt over his head and onto his torso. Next, he removed his tattered pants, completely disregarding Hart's presence in the room, and replaced them with the new pair.

"Are you going to say anything?" Hart asked tentatively.

Alex took a deep breath, "Let's go eat." He moved past Hart and stepped into the hallway.

The startled pony spun around to catch up to him, and left the room close behind. The pair reached the door and a waiting Witt. Hart released an exasperated sigh. "What now?"

"Just wanted to escort you to the dining room," he replied calmly. Witt spun his hoof and revealed a small, golden key, inserting it into the lock on the door. "Let's cut down on travel time, shall we?" He turned the key and pushed open the door, but instead of the laboratory, the trio was standing in the doorway to what appeared to be a swimming area. Witt quickly closed the door. "Sorry."

Alex and Hart exchanged a brief glance while the unicorn pulled out another key. "I really should label these," Witt mumbled to himself. With another quick turn and a push, the group was now standing in the doorway of a banquet hall. "Ah," Witt smiled, "that's better."

"What's with the keys," Alex gave an impressed nod.

"Enchanted," Witt said. "I find that it's much more effective than walking from place to place. It's especially helpful when I've spent too much time working without using the toilet." Alex and Hart exchanged another look. Witt cleared his throat, "Anyway, let's just go."

The large table that occupied the hall was nearly the length of the chamber, itself. Not to mention that it was decorated with a long, embroidered tablecloth with scattered assortments of exotic fruits and flowers. Alex noticed Witt give a slight twitch as they approached the settings.

Alex leaned towards Hart as they walked. "What's up with him?" he asked, pointing to Witt.

"It's a sort of pet peeve of his," Hart responded, "he absolutely despises anything that seems generic or clichéd to him."

"How is a fancy table setting generic or cliched?"

"Because, Alex," Witt stated, overhearing their remarks, "we're inside an excessively ornate castle, surrounded by rich snobs -though some aren't as much snobs as they are irritating-, and about to eat a meal in a royal banquet hall that is prepared by the top chefs from all over Equestria!" Witt's tone slowly shifted towards agitation as he spoke. "It's basically a rich-ponies' generic dinner. And. I. Hate it! Why can't they just eat something normal?! Like, flower sandwiches or clover subs for once?! I mean honestly?!"

"Because, Witt," they all turned to see Celestia glaring at him. She and Twilight and her friends were occupying a set of previously vacant seats at the opposite end of the table. "It is common courtesy to treat our guests well," Celestia finished.

Witt grumbled quietly for a moment, "Fine then. I'll eat with Discord. Just give me the pass, first."

"When did you guys get here?" Alex interrupted.

Pinkie Pie giggled, gaining everyone's attention. "Oh, the author just needed us in the scene, or else it would've created major plot holes that would have 'unraveled the very fabric of the story's continuity,'" she mimicked a gruff stallion's voice.

They all stared at her with confused expressions.

"And... what does that mean?" Alex ventured.

"It's a long story," Witt replied. "Not as long as this one, mind you, but it would take some time to explain."

I'm not going to comment on those statements, nor am I supporting them.

Celestia shook her head. Her horn glowed as piece of paper and a quill appeared. She scribbled something down on the parchment and rolled it up, the sheet disappearing instantly after. "Done," Celestia said to Witt. "He shall be aware of your arrival tomorrow, Captain Witt," she used the title mockingly.

Witt frowned and turned to Alex, "Don't say anything stupid or she'll send you to the moon."

"That happened once!" Celestia retorted.

"To your sister," Witt countered.

Celestia sighed and, slowly, regained her composure, "Alright, Witt. Just go."

"Thank you, Princess," now Witt's turn at mockery. "Oh, and tell S.A. that I'll be using field number four, as well as attending the daily match, tomorrow."

"Just go!" Celestia repeated forcefully, "I'll send Twilight to inform him, later."

Witt gave a slight nod. "Thank you!" he said, his tone shifting back to simple glee. "I shall also be around for chess tomorrow."

His horn glowed grey, but, before he could disappear, the doors to the room swung open and a unicorn with a dark green coat and black mane stepped in. He was wearing a tall chef's toque that looked like it had been scared into its upright position. "I have prepared the requested dishes, Your Highness," he spoke with a thick French accent while he bowed.

A vein throbbed in Witt's temple as he screamed, "CELESTIA-DAMMIT!!!" into the air, and disappeared in a flash of light.

Alex blinked a few spots out of his eyes from his direct witness of the teleport. "How many mental issues does that guy have," he remarked.

Celestia huffed, "We lost track years ago. Now," her cheery demeanor reappeared, "how would you care for dinner?"

Alex nodded, "I wouldn't mind something to eat, considering I haven't had anything in about a day." He approached the table and pulled out a chair at the end opposite Celestia, while Hart took a seat to his right. "What do you have on the menu?"

As if in answer to the question, a large procession of covered dishes floated in, flanked by two serving-ponies. The platters were gently set upon the table and their lids were removed, one by one. Each of the ponies seated received the same dish: a small cluster of bread slices, a large salad with an even larger selection of dressings and other seasonings, and a bowl of warm, vegetable soup. Alex's platter was slightly larger, as was the loaf of bread that was set upon it. Other then that, the meal was exactly the same as the others.

Alex picked up the bread, tore off the end, and took an experimental taste before nodding in approval and beginning to bite into the remaining pieces. He looked up across the table and watched those with magic levitate their meals, while the remainder ate while holding the food in their hooves. Alex couldn't quite grasp how that was possible, but his thoughts were cut short as a loud knock emanated from the doors. Everyone looked in their direction, and they were met by the darkened-blue form of Princess Luna.

"I'm sorry I'm late, everypony," she quickly apologized, "I'm not accustomed to rising as early as this."

"Early?" Alex eyed her.

Luna turned and noticed Alex for the first time. "Oh," her tone shifted to subtle displeasure, "pardon me. I was unaware that the human was here." The comment immediately caused the atmosphere in the room to grow fairly tense, silencing everyone. Celestia's gaze nervously hopped from Luna to Alex.

"The human has a name, you know," Alex added curtly, breaking the silence.

"And that would be...?" Luna questioned.

"Alex," he replied immediately. "And you are...?"

"Luna," she answered in her own, snide tone.

"I'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that you're not exactly pleased to see me," Alex remarked.

"Most definitely," Luna confirmed.

"At least you're openly hating me."

"I'll try."


Up in the laboratory, Witt and Discord were eating at a table that was a simple fold-out. They were busy eating some soy dogs with chocolate milkshakes (courtesy of Discord), but Witt suddenly stopped.

"What's the matter, Witt?" Discord asked casually.

Witt put a hoof to his forehead. "I don't know," he admitted, "but I sense something that I haven't felt since..." he looked to the side dramatically, "... yesterday."

"You mean Luna's anger directed to Alex's presence within the castle, much less his presence within Equestria?" Discord monotoned, still focused on his food.

"Oh, yeah," Witt nodded, "definitely." Both of them laughed out loud at the mental images of Luna fighting Alex.

"Luna would win for sure," Discord remarked.

"Most definitely," Witt agreed.


Celestia let out a loud exhale, more for the sake of gaining the attention of Luna and Alex then of actual exasperation. Sure enough, it worked, and both of their heads whipped around.

"What is it?" they asked simultaneously, nearly shouting.

Celestia and the Elements recoiled in surprise, but all of them regained their composure. "Luna," Celestia said calmly, "you're just in time for dinner."

"Of course, sister," she said. Luna shot Alex another hard glare as she left to occupy her seat.

Celestia and the Elements shifted uncomfortably in their seats after that brief exchange, Hart even giving a quiet whistle as to mask his worry. The meal continued in complete silence after that, save the occasional statement from the ponies when they were praising the chef's cooking. Alex made it through his bread, soup, and salad quickly, due to a day's worth of an empty stomach.

"That was good," he remarked, sitting back in his chair.

"I agree," Hart concurred.

"Thank you, sir," the chef seemed to appear out of nowhere, startling both Alex and Hart.

"Where did you come from?!" Alex asked, surprised at the sudden quip.

"My nickname in Prance was the fantôme, or phantom in common Equestrian," he said proudly.

"Wait, did you say prance?" Alex queried.

"But of course!" the chef replied. "My home is actually Paris, Prance. La ville de l'amour, the city of love."

"'City of love?'" Alex repeated back, eyebrow cocked, "How original."

"Alex?" Celestia called from across the table, "have you finished?"

Alex redirected his gaze to face the alicorn, then looked back down at his empty plate. "Yeah, I'm done."

Celestia nodded, "It is getting rather late, and my sister and I must attend to our nighttime duties." She stepped away from the table and, as she walked by, nudged Luna's side, "Isn't that right, Luna?"

The younger alicorn nodded, "Of course, sister." The pair silently made their way towards the doors, but Celestia paused for a moment.

"I apologize for the brief meetings," she said sweetly to Alex, "but you simply... arrived at a bad time. That, and your constant bouts of unconsciousness have made your schedule quite difficult to arrange." She gave a kind smile, "But still, Hart and Witt have informed me that you have made a complete recovery and they expect you to be in perfect condition from now on."

Alex nodded, glad that he wouldn't have to worry about continually losing consciousness in the near future. "Thanks, uh, so... when do you need to see me next?" he asked.

"Well," Celestia thought, "Witt requested a meeting with you at the training fields tomorrow morning, so... I would assume that you would be open for discussion in the mid-afternoon?"

Alex thought for a moment before nodding. "That sounds sensible."

"Excellent. I'm sure that you'll be much more comfortable once you've had time to organize your thoughts." The Princess of the Sun gave a friendly bow, turning to Luna and clearing her throat rather obviously. The younger alicorn simply scoffed at Alex and turned, leaving the diners to their business.

"I'm terribly sorry, Alex," Celestia apologized. She hurriedly left the room in pursuit of her sister.

Alex sat there in silence for a few moments with the Elements and Hart. "Well," Alex started, "It appears that I've made another enemy within one day. That's a new record."

Author's Note:

I know the Luna encounter was brief, but don't worry, another chapter is in the works, and Luna is chapter centric.
When I write the next couple chapters, Witt is going to be my FAVORITE character to write for -as well as Discord.
HOORAY!!! Just checked my stats and found that I've gotten (as of this post) 18 FaceBook referrals!!! Thank you to those that referred, you deserve a party cannon blast of happiness!
Also, I apologize for the awkward chapters. If anypony knows any pre-readers, could you please let me know?