Fitting In
Chapter 1: Fitting in
Twilight sipped her tea as the café started filling with ponies. She and Lyra were early, but then they both had schedules to keep, and they were close enough to the bell tower to avoid losing track of time. Twilight had to open the library -- she loved Spike dearly, but this did nothing for his sleeping regime -- while Lyra was expecting some instruments to be delivered. Still, that didn’t stop either of them of engaging in some small talk, particularly if it involved a topic even Twilight Sparkle wasn’t too well-versed in.
“So how’s the little guy doing?”
“Oh, he’s great, you have no idea. We had such a good time in Canterlot, he didn’t even realise why we were there. You should have seen the look on his face when we explained everything to him: he just lit up. He’s still shy, though. He really likes getting hugged but he’s scared to hug anypony else.”
“So he’s okay with you being his new moms? He hasn’t started feeling homesick or anything? He doesn’t miss his friends?”
“Well, he never even knew the other changelings in his hive that well, so there’s not much to miss. He really didn’t have a family, and with me and Bonsie, now he does. We had Berry Punch over, so he’s gotten some interaction with another pony, but he’s sort of starting from scratch on that one. Oh, and we got him that pet beehive you suggested, good call.”
Twilight smiled, always happy to help and happy to be right.
“He likes it?”
“He loves it, even managed to get them working overtime on honey. He's trying out all sorts of things with the honey now, you'll probably see him in the library soon for research. So... yeah, he loves it. It’s something to keep him busy, and it reminds of home without the bad memories, so it’s a pretty big improvement. He loves living in Ponyville, and he loves all the new things around here. Same with food. He’ll try anything, even if it smells weird, and he’s probably learning tastes he never got at his hive. I don’t know what to say. We’ve got a happy little kid, and we’re happy to have him. But between you and me,” Lyra started, leaning in a little, ”I think he’s still scared.”
“Well, who wouldn’t be, with what he’s been through?”
“Not like that. I mean he’s scared of upsetting us. First night he got in his new bed, he went out like a candle. In the morning, he was crying.”
Twilight winced.
“Bad dreams?”
Lyra chuckled.
“No. You know those holes they have in their legs? He’s got these spurs on the edge of his forelegs that are grown in, and he didn’t realise. He just tore up his sheets and mattress in his sleep. When we woke him up, the poor guy was shaking, physically shaking, because he thought he’d done something bad. Because of a silly accident. So we got him some peejays and wrap up the sharp bits when he goes to sleep.”
Twilight smiled in sympathy.
“What about his fever?”
Lyra shrugged at that.
“He’s sicked it out, like anypony would. He didn’t really mind being cooped up, but… it’s kind of harsh to get to a new home and then have to stay inside, you know? Still, everyone gets their shots, he’s no different, and at least now we know he’s safe from whatever diseases he might catch from us ponies. Besides, it gave us some more time to explain how things work in Equestria. There’s a lot of things he didn’t know about.”
“I can imagine. I guess Bon Bon is showing him around Ponyville today?”
“Yep. Bon Bon’s got a little something planned to get him used to talking to other ponies. She’s taking him to the market today, but first she’s going to wean on him on something easier.”
“Wean him? It’s that bad?”
“Trust me, it is. He barely talked when Berry Punch first came over. He hid under a couch for the first five minutes until he realised he was supposed to join in the conversation. He knows she lives across the street now, at least, so that’s some progress, and he was really interested when she told him about her work.”
“Huh. I suppose he would be, all things considered. But is he ready for school?”
“Right now? I doubt it. You can’t wait for him to socialise with a pony before he starts talking. No, he needs to get out and understand he can make friends on his own. So Bonsy’s planned a warm-up today: take him someplace where the ponies he talks to won’t mind if he’s shy, but where he still has to speak up.”
Twilight Sparkle thought it over. The bit dropped, but the soda can got stuck.
“I don’t get it.”
“Welcome to Ponyville Spa,” Aloe greeted. “How may we help you today, Miss Bon Bon?”
“Hey, Aloe. The usual for me, and the same for my son. We might have to add a little something special, though, but that’s up to him,” Bon Bon replied, smiling gently.
“Oh?” Aloe looked at the mare. “You brought your son?”
Bon Bon moved a hind hoof to gently nudge something behind her, and slowly a black creature with clean symmetrical holes in its legs, matching on each side, walked into view. It was about the size of a pony foal, and had a short light green mane with holes in its web-like texture that went over its curved horn. It also sported transparent perforated wings that looked like those of a beetle. The little thing had some sort of plate on its back in a dark blue, and black skin plates all over, if it could be said to have skin. Its face was smooth and round, making it look like most of the fillies in town, but the small eyelashes and the V-shape of its armoured back gave it a definite masculine look. Its eyes darted from Aloe to Bon Bon, prompting another nudge.
“Go on.”
Just before he talked, there was a hint of a reverse echo, an oddity that got Aloe’s attention but not something that would frighten her.
“Umm… hi. I’m Bastion.” His main voice still had the high pitch of a child, but the changeling echo already rang in it, and at least one of the voices that came out of him had the deeper bass sound of a teenage boy.
Aloe nodded in greeting.
“Pleased to meet you. Is it just Bastion or do you have a last name?”
The young changeling looked at his mother, who nodded in encouragement.
“Pristin. My name is Bastion Pristin,” he replied, saying that last one with a distinct French accent.
“Oh, a French name, no less,” Aloe fawned in her own thick accent as she guided them to the sauna. “Well, then, Bastion, as your mother asked we will start with the sauna to open your pores, followed by a session in the Jacuzzi, and then we have a deep tissue massage with aromatic oils. After that, we finish with a pony pedi. If you’d like any additional treatment, you need only ask.”
As the sauna opened for the pair, the little one looked up fearfully at the mare. He seemed to think he was about to be cooked or something. Bon Bon gently guided him in, one hoof pressing against his hind quarters to urge him on.
“It’s supposed to be that hot, sweetie. It’ll help you sweat out... you do sweat, right?”
The boy nodded.
The two sat down on some wooden boards and started getting coated in steam as Aloe put some water on the hot stones in the centre. “Well, this will help you sweat out any toxins that might still be in your body, and then after soaking in the bubble bath you’ll get a massage and a pedicure. A pony’s going to rub and squeeze your muscles to relax them, after that it’s just a bit of grooming.”
The boy sighed softly as Aloe left them alone.
“A pony’s going to touch me?”
“Yes. Don’t worry, I’ll be right next to you, and it’s supposed to make you feel good. But if any of your muscles are a little sore, or if you’ve got any tender spots, you’ll have to tell them, okay? You’re going to have to get used to talking to other ponies.”
He cringed ever so slightly at the thought.
“It’ll be alright, sweetie. Just remember to be polite, and don’t be scared to say when you’re feeling uncomfortable. You’ll get the hang of it, I’m sure.”
The little changeling nodded nervously.
“Guess I should be a natural at blending in, huh? Me being, you know…”
Bon Bon chuckled.
“Well, there is that. But nopony will mind, really. Just relax a little, and it’ll come natural. I promise.”
Bastion yawned.
“Is it okay if I lay my head down for a while? I’m kinda tired from last night.”
She brushed his web-like mane away from his eyes and checked the temperature of his carapace.
“I knew that last movie was a bit much for you. But sure, you can lay your head down for a bit. You’re not too hot, are you?”
He looked at his mom and smiled, swallowing as the heat gave his skin plates a dull sweat shine.
“No. This is pretty good. I think I like it.”
“I knew you would, honey.” She leaned in and gave him a gentle kiss on the back of his head as his eyes drifted shut.
The poor guy was all tuckered out. Last night had been spent getting him familiar with pony culture, which according to Lyra meant ‘movie night’. He’d gotten the hang of common expressions and dialogues quite quickly, and thankfully he was smart enough to be able to tell what was only done in movies and what was done in real life. Still, they didn’t have a lot to work with.
Their daytrip in Canterlot had been a fun way to get acquainted with each other and get him out in the open, but the fact of the matter was Bastion had never been around ponies his entire life. He hadn’t even really interacted with anyone who had a personality to speak of, save his uncle and the rest of the council’s families. And even that bit of contact hadn’t given him a lot in the ways of social skills. Their stay in Canterlot had been spent with him talking to the mares but just blocking up when anypony else tried speaking to him. It wasn’t an easy thing to explain, either.
But Lyra and Bon Bon had gotten him up to speed pretty fast. He didn’t have the abilities of an infiltrator, but he did have some innate talent picking up social skills, and he grasped most of the social rules pretty quickly. Came with the package, most likely. He still had to learn how to deal with different ponies and personalities on an individual level, though. Perhaps that was due to the nature of his hive: all identical personalities governed by general sets of rules on how to act. Always the same rules, always the same personalities to interact with. He understood half of social skills, at least.
The whole thing was a bit ironic, Bon Bon felt. If little Bastion had been like most of his kind, he wouldn’t even have a personality to speak of, just a rudimentary ego to assume the role of whoever they were supposed to replace. He’d be more of a doll instead of a boy. They could make him whatever they wanted, the perfect son, but it would all be due to magic and not any sort of parenting skills on their part. Wouldn’t mean he wasn’t perfect, though.
But then, where does one draw the line between educating a child for its future life and eradicating any semblance of what makes a child unique? Such things puzzled the mind of the mare. The sauna had a way of bringing out the philosopher in Bon Bon, a baker turned Zen by being put into an oven herself.
Time passed as she pondered, and the idea of a mere child like Bastion being stripped of his individuality, his soul, stuck with her.
Regardless of where the line was drawn, it just wasn’t right to do that to a child, to a species. But then, Bon Bon didn’t know how changeling society worked, exactly, and she had more urgent concerns for the moment.
Like the sauna door opening, for instance. Shapes moved through the room, and before long Bon Bon and Bastion weren’t alone anymore.
The mare blinked a few times, then snickered.
“Bastion, honey? Now would be a good time to wake up.”
The little changeling opened his eyes and snapped his head up at a sudden invasion of his personal space. There appeared to be a white unicorn filly with a curly mane inspecting him up close. She was accompanied by a mare of similar coat colour with a purple mane.
Bastion looked to his mom, unsure how to handle the situation.
“Hi!” the filly started.
Bon Bon looked down at the boy as he still looked at her nervously.
“Now, don’t be rude. Say something.”
“Umm… hi.”
The filly bounced up, apparently excited at getting any sort of response from him, or just surprised by the sound of his voice. She was getting rather too close for comfort, too.
“I’m Sweetie Belle. You’re new in town, right? What’s your name?”
Again he looked at Bon Bon. Again she motioned him onward.
“I-I’m Bastion. Bastion Pristin.”
This set off a rapid fire of questions.
“Cool name. Is that French? Does it mean anything? Is that what you always look like? Why don’t you have any tusks? Shouldn’t your eyes be covered? Aren’t you supposed to be bald? What about that–“
“Sweetie Belle, calm down, you’re scaring the boy. He’s clearly not used to being around other ponies, so be nice. I do apologise, darling, my little sister can be bit overzealous sometimes. I’m Rarity, by the way. Just that: Rarity.”
Bastion smiled up at the mare, his shaking subsided for the moment.
“Hi, pleased to meet you.”
“Pleased to meet you,” Rarity replied with a polite nod. “And to answer your first question, Sweetie Belle: a bastion is an outcropping on a castle wall. It’s something that sticks out to protect, so the name is mostly reserved for those with very important families. ‘Pristin’ isn’t actually French, but a griffon name made to sound French. It’s based off of ‘Preston’ and our word for ‘pristine’. It means ‘stainless’, or ‘flawless’, and it’s usually given as a title, not a name. So if I had to guess… I’d say what we have here is a boy of noble birth. Am I right, Bastion?”
To Bon Bon’s surprise, Bastion didn’t shake at the question. He just looked away in embarrassment.
“Umm… yeah, it’s true. I guess I’m kind of, sort of nobility? But we didn’t really have nobles in the hive. I don’t think it counts like it does for ponies.”
Sweetie Belle leaned in closer to investigate his face, making him sweat even more.
“So, is this what you really look like or do you usually wear tusks?”
Again he gave Bon Bon a quick look, silently asking for approval.
“It’s a fair question, sweetie. No need to be shy.”
“Well, no. I mean, no, changelings don’t usually have tusks. We've got fangs, but we don't grow them out unless we need to. And we’re not all bald, either, that’s just a shape for fighting in. Same with our wings; those usually have holes in them, we only close them up and make them more wavey when we fight. But the way I look, right now, is what changelings normally look like.”
“You change shape to fight? Cool. So you’re gonna live in Ponyville now? Are you going to be in my class?”
“Err, I don’t know."
Bon Bon nodded at him.
“Yes, honey, you will. Sweetie Belle is in Cheerilee’s class, and so are you.”
“Okay, guess I will be in your class, then,” Bastion replied with his wings giving off a nervous buzz.
“Great! You’re gonna love Ponyville!” Sweetie Belle squeaked just as Aloe opened the door.
“Miss Bon Bon, Bastion, if you would please follow me to the bubble bath?”
Bon Bon got up with a smile, and her adoptive son followed suit, both now covered in a good layer of sweat, but only the changeling actually smelling the part.
“See you around, Bastion,” the filly said as she waved, settling down for her own steamy treatment.
“Yeah. See you around, Sweetie Belle.”.
As the pair settled into the bubble bath, the scent of lavender soaking into their skins, Bastion’s face got stuck in ‘worry mode’.
“Mom?”
“Yes, Bastion?”
“D-did I say something wrong back there?”
“You did fine, honey. I’m sure Sweetie Belle and her friends will like you.”
“Her friends?”
“Apple Bloom and Scootaloo. Nice fillies, also in your class, but they can be a little intense. You’ve got to be careful around them, but they’re not mean.”
The changeling sank into the tub, thinking.
“Bastion, sweetie, don’t worry. You’re a nice pony, remember that.”
The boy grumbled.
“Except I’m not a pony.”
“You’re close enough, and you’re nice, and that’s all that matters. Trust me: when you go to school tomorrow, everything will be alright. I promise.”
The boy took a deep breath and sighed in relief as he sank into the scented water.
“Thanks, mom.”
“So it’s no problem?” Lyra asked.
“Oh, no problem at all. He’ll fit right in,” Cheerilee replied.
Lyra grimaced a little as they kept on walking down the street.
“I don’t mean that. I mean the rules you’re gonna have to follow. I’m still not sure how he feels about it, but-”
“But nothing. If your son can’t be left alone and you can’t pick him up, then he can just ask somepony to walk him home. I’m not going to embarrass a student on their first day if I can help it. Besides, Scootaloo usually heads your way when she’s going home, he can tag along with her. Or Piña Colada, if she’s off to her sister’s. There’s nothing to worry about, Lyra. This is Ponyville, remember? Your son will be alright.”
Lyra smiled nervously.
“I guess you’re right. It’s just hard not to worry about his first day of school, you know? Suppose he doesn’t make any new friends?”
The pink-maned mare chuckled at that.
“What’s so funny?”
“Nothing. It’s just that you look and sound just like all the other parents on the first day of school. It suits you,” Cheerilee noted with no small amount of glee.
Lyra blushed fiercely at that, shaking her head to avoid the looks of any bystanders.
“Well, can you blame me?”
“Not really, no. But come to think of it, how’s it working out? Being a parent, I mean. No one’s had time to catch up with you yet. You just went to Canterlot and came home with a son. How’s it going?”
“I honestly don’t know. It’s great so far, but I guess it doesn’t really feel real yet. You think you have to catch up? So do we. It all went so fast. And all three of us are kinda new at this.”
The teacher smirked to herself.
“I’m sure that’ll pass. And hey, after getting pampered in the spa, I’m sure little Bastion will be pretty relaxed about it, too.”
The changeling gritted his teeth as the file went to brutalising the soles of his feet. His eyes started twitching, but when he looked towards his mother, her expression seemed to indicate that this sort of torture was normal. Bon Bon looked right back at him. He knew what she was expecting of him, and she wasn’t going to step in.
She smiled in sympathy as the boy took a deep breath. He visibly braced himself.
“Cuh-could you please stop that?”
“What’s wrong, Bastion?” Aloe asked. “Are you not comfortable?”
“No, sorry,” he admitted as he lowered his gaze at the pink mare tending to his feet. “I’m not sure how anyone can take that, actually. It really hurts.”
Bon Bon’s smile faded as finally, the boy was starting to speak frankly. She hadn’t expected anything actually hurting him on his first steps out in Ponyville, though.
“Well, honey, it’s just a pony pedi. It helps keep your hooves nice and clean.”
The boy raised his front appendages to his face and stared.
“So, do I need to grow hooves now?”
That got an odd look from the beauty specialists. Even Lotus Blossom stopped her work on the Earth pony mare.
“Are you saying those aren’t hooves?” Lotus asked, pointing to the hard ends of his paws.
“Umm, no? Hooves are nails, right? I’ve only got skin all over.”
Aloe inspected his body, confused.
“But what about your horn, and those hard plates?”
“Well, my plates… I think you call those 'calluses'? I mean, they’re hard but I can still feel everything on them, it feels like normal skin to me. It’s not dulled at all, if that’s what you mean. The only thing that’s kind of like a nail is my horn, and even that’s got skin around it.”
“Oh my. No wonder you don’t like a pedicure. How about an exfoliation, then?” the pink spa pony asked.
“A what?”
Bon Bon laid back and let her treatment continue.
“Scrape off some of the dead skin, make you feel a little softer. It might still hurt a little, but not as much as a pedi,” Lotus explained, resuming her work on the mare.
“Oh. Umm… yes, please.” The boy smiled eagerly.
“What about the holes in your legs? Are those harder or more sensitive?”
Bastion blushed.
“Both? It’s sort of a glandular thing. I’m not sure if that makes a difference?”
Aloe patted him on the head.
“Just wait here, Bastion. I shall fetch a pumice and some fruit cream.”
“Huh?”
“The fruit cream is for your holes,” Lotus explained. “It’s a little acidic, so the skin can soften up without scrubbing so hard.”
“Oh.”
He laid back to let the Earth pony start working over his skin plates with the pumice, slowly getting some dull grey spots on his black belly as his skin plates were cleaned and softened. It still tingled his skin, but at least this wasn’t as rough as a hoof file. With the stone tied to her hoof, Aloe had no trouble going in between the growths and cleaning out the boy’s joints. A little wipe with a damp cloth got rid of the grey spots, and soon enough the boy’s whole body was shining.
Bon Bon was done a while before her son was, of course. As she looked down at his face, she noticed he seemed to be enjoying it, but he was still a little apprehensive about something.
It didn’t take her long to figure out what. She wanted him to learn to talk to other ponies, and he’d done about as much talking as could be expected for a first try. More to the point, what was really bothering him was something even ponies wouldn’t speak of, so she made an exception.
“Aloe, would you mind going over his spurs again? They’re pretty sharp, and I think they’ve been bothering him.”
“Of course.” With that she gave those ingrown curves another once-over, getting the edge out of those hooks and dulling them to mere decorations.
Bastion smiled as his first spa treatment got finished. He smiled all through the dulling of his spurs, those little outgrowths on his paws turning to less of a threat and more of an ornament. When everything was said and done, the boy couldn’t help but stare at his reflection. Bon Bon looked him over as well, and even the spa ponies seemed impressed.
Then again, they’d never had to pretty up a changeling, so they were very much on the starting end of the learning curve on that one.
Bastion now had a shine to him, and all the sharp edges of his plates were smoothed out to give a sleeker look to his body. His wings still had their sharp corners -- there wasn’t much that could be done about that without grievously injuring him – and his dagger-like horn still looked a little menacing compared to the rounded ones unicorns had, but all in all it was a decided improvement.
“Now, Bastion, what do we say?” Bon Bon asked.
“Thank you. Thank you very much.”
“Well, you are very welcome,” the pink mare replied as Bon Bon settled the payment. “It’s not often we get such a well-mannered boy under our hooves.”
“Easy there, Aloe,” Bon Bon warned with a wink. “He hasn’t met any colts yet. He doesn’t know who you’re comparing him to.”
To that, Bastion started pondering as he walked out with his mom.
“Wait, so was that a compliment or not?”
Bon Bon rolled her eyes as she went out the door.
“It is a compliment, sweetie. What she meant was most boys think it’s very girly to go to a spa, so they don’t like it. Or they make a fuss, unlike you.”
That got the boy thinking a little.
“So boys and girls don’t just act different, they’re not supposed to act like each other, either? But how do you keep track of all that? I thought boys and girls were supposed to be equals?”
She shook her head, weighing her words carefully lest she give him the wrong idea. In the distance, a slight buzz could be heard, Doppler-shifting towards them at an alarming pace.
“It is allowed, Bastion. As a matter of fact, wait right there,” she warned with an extended hoof.
A roaring dust cloud appeared before the two, one that made a purple trail and promptly headed off in the direction on Sweet Apple Acres.
Bastion had taken refuge behind the nearest convenient wall he could find, which at that time happened to be his mother. He looked at the dust trail, then came out from behind her when the danger had passed.
“What was that?”
“One of your classmates. One of Sweetie Belle’s friends, actually,” Bon Bon explained casually as her little boy was recovering from the shock. “Her name is Scootaloo, and she acts very much like a boy at times. Come to think of it, I’m pretty sure most of the boys are scared of her. My point is, a lot of girls have boy traits, a lot of boys have girl traits. There’s nothing wrong with either, and they do have equal rights. They just tend to have different interests, most of the time.”
“I don’t get it. Am I going to have to turn into a girl next time or not?”
Bon Bon gave the boy a comforting hug with a foreleg.
“No, you’re not going to have to turn into a girl. You won’t need to change shape at all anymore, we told you that already. Just try to understand that ponies grow up learning to think a certain way, and that’s it’s a little harder for them to change the way they think than it is for you. Ponies are all different, even if we follow the same rules. You’ve got those down already, you just need to adjust to being yourself and not trying to copy someone else or hide.”
“Oh. Right, try to be myself.” He lowered his head pensively as those words sunk in. That instinct to hide was easy to lose track of, even for him. “But how will I know when I’m doing something right?”
Bon Bon considered that for a moment as they broke the hug and resumed their walk. Truth be told, she was getting questions she hadn’t quite expected.
“Well, you don’t. You just learn to judge things, and if you make a mistake you learn from that.”
“So how do I judge things?”
That was a question she did have an answer to.
“Just try to do what feels right. Listen to your heart.”
Bastion gave that some thought.
“The big one or the spare one?”
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Stop asking questions, kid. You'll just have to learn by doing.
That last line
2582907
Don't let Lyra or Bon Bon hear you say that. They haven't had 'the talk' with him yet, and that sort of advice only leads to grief in that department.
2584229
Huh. It must be true: my pre-readers thought the same thing.
That last line made me think of The Doctor for some reason.
But I am interested, watching story.
I really like this. I will continue to read it
Man this is too good.
"got that right D."
That last line there at the end...
What.
2588524
It's a recurring thing for changelings in this storyline: their naming conventions are a mix of foreign languages that make sense to them, but not to anyone else. You can compare it to the silly mistakes people make when they learn a new language: it makes sense to the one making the mistake, that's why they make it. For example, 'Pristin' sounds like 'pristine', but really isn't a French word (I checked in the dictionary). Likewise, 'alvéole' refers to a cell, or in another context to a single honeycomb. The idea is that their new city state will be where they eat, rest and live, their home.
The term 'hive', to them, implies outside authority and a possibly oppressive regime, like a full country. Anything referring to a 'honeycomb' implies something small, private and homely, where individuals and families live. Alveola is not to replace their hive, but to be their new home, hence the name.
I felt it added a little something to the look and feel of a race that's not really sure what they need to be now, but has had influences of a lot of other races. Plus, it ties in with the milk and honey symbolism that runs through the story, as well as what the bees symbolise in the main conflict.
2589456
to show that this kid really doesn't quite understand ponies just yet. It's been stated he's starting from scratch on that one, so I have to show that this is indeed the case.
Exactly what it says on the tin. Mom says 'Listen to your heart', son says 'Which one, exactly?'. It's a cultural difference with physiological roots. Also a cheap joke
2589456
Apparently, changelings have two biological hearts.
What Bon Bon was referencing was the philosophical heart. In the end, changelings have three hearts: 2 physical and 1 philosophical.
So far as I've read, all of the characters seem really dry. I almost can't tell who's talking because their dialogue has next to no variation. Rarity talks like Lyra talks like Twilight talks like Sapphire Gaze. Aloe's supposedly thick accent is only barely hinted at, and she talks like Bon Bon, who talks like King Alberick.
Only Sweetie Belle and Bastion really stand out; the former because she does sound a little like she would in the show, and the latter because of his strange biology wiggling into his sentences. It's difficult to tell what age he's supposed to be, though I suppose that's to be expected of a changeling.
Even above their dryness and mostly indistinguishable dialogue, everyone is entirely too sensible. Everyone acts as though they automatically know the right thing to do about a race of seemingly repentant parasitic shapeshifters. I say "seemingly" because of their history of deception which almost no one outside of a few journalists seems to question.
This is just a first pass, though. I'm going to keep reading and see how things change.
Oh, this is cute.
Ow, that must have hurt. I just imagined putting a file to my knuckles when I read about Bastion's pedi.
"a baker turned Zen by being put into an oven herself." Ha, that is brilliant.
"“The fruit cream is for your holes,” I have a terrible, terrible, dirty mind...
Good story.
Bon Bon I guess is attempting to make sure she understands Changeling differences so there aren't any misunderstandings, but she still gets into some like the incident with the pedicure...and that last line. Absolute gold. It would be worthy of a sitcom on its own.
I certainly hope the incident in the story synopsis happens very quick chronologically for more cultural hijinks, and not well after Bastion's gotten used to equinity.