The Muffin Mishap

by ilikefrenchfries1010

Another One Bits the Crust

"Hey, Strong Hoof! Wake up!"

"Bwah!?" blurted the victim. "What was that for!?"

"You're not being paid to sleep at the desk, Strong Hoof. Now sit up straight and look lively."

"Alright, alright."

Strong Hoof sighed and rubbed the crust out of his tired eyes. He found his eyes subconsciously drifting towards the nearby clock. "Just two more hours to go till I can blow this popsicle stand. Who knew receptionist duty could be so boring?"

"Maybe this punishment will teach you to avoid skylarking during patrol," snapped Bronze Wing.

"But—"

"No buts about it. Now quit whining and start smiling."

Strong Hoof sighed, reaching for the nearby cup of coffee. A bit of caffeine was crucial for staying awake during the shifts, especially when you were the receptionist at a guard station. There were seldom any visitors in the ungodly hours of the morning, further adding to his boredom.

"Who commits a crime at seven in the morning?" he mused before sipping from his cup.

As he sipped, the door chime rang, signaling someone's entrance.

"Hello," greeted the pony with a benevolent tone.

Strong Hoof slowly lowered his mug to greet the new arrival, still drinking from his coffee.

"P-princess!? How can I—"

Strong Hoof choked and gagged while the rest of the guards snapped to attention.

"Princess!" they chorused.

Celestia raised a hoof, signaling for them to be at ease. They carried on with their activities, leaving Strong Hoof to assist the princess.

"How... how can I help you princess?" he asked with a nervous smile, coffee trailing out from his nose.

"Relax my little pony, I'm not here for anything too serious," assured Celestia, "I just wanted to ask a few quick questions concerning a minor incident which occurred recently."

Strong Hoof snapped to attention, eager to serve his princess, "Of course princess. How may I be of assistance?"

"It has been brought to my attention that a theft has occurred in Ponyville. As I'm sure you all know, these crimes are not to be taken lightly, and I prefer to personally deal with any offenders myself. This sends a strong message, discouraging any further thefts."

"Understood," replied Strong Hoof, nodding his understanding, "the offender, Muffin Joe, is currently in Ponyville Hospital, where he is recovering from a minor ailment. The offender isn't currently in his right mind, princess. We were informed of this by the reporter of the crime. He was escorted to the hospital so that he could recover before facing any charges."

"Was he in his right mind when he committed the theft?"

"We are unsure, princess. We cannot begin questioning him until he returns to normal."

"Who reported the incident?"

"It was Derpy Hooves, princess. She was the victim of the theft."

"I see. Thank you for your assistance, Strong Hoof."

"It was a pleasure, princess."

Celestia promptly left, making her way towards the hospital. She was unsure how she was going to talk to a mentally impaired stallion, but she would find a way.

"Great, my first time meeting the princess and I looked like an idiot," mumbled Strong Hoof.

"You still do." said Bronze Wing.

---

"Who visits a hospital patient at seven in the morning?" groaned Derpy, "why can't we go later? Muffin didn't get his full nine hours of sleep."

"The sooner we visit him, the sooner we can know how he's doing silly! " answered Pinkie, bouncing along with energy in spite of the early morning. "We need to make sure Joe is feeling alright, seeing as how we're the only ones who know what's truly wrong with him. I hope the muffin's effects have at least calmed down a bit by now."

"Muffin didn't mean to make Joe go crazy, Joe just couldn't handle him," Derpy declared. "Isn't that right my little Muffin?"

"..."

"Oh Muffin, you're so silly!" giggled Derpy.

"What did Twilight tell you about Joe's condition?" Pinkie inquired. "How long till he's back to making doughnuts? Or will he keep making muffins? Hmm... I need to prepare a Happy Recovery Party for him. Should the theme be doughnuts or muffins?"

"Twilight told me that Joe would take about a week to fully recover."

"That doesn't mean we can't still visit, Derpy. Joe's our friend, and we all got stuck in this mess together. We need to make sure he's ok, and let him know that we're still his friends. The more friends, the better!"

"Wow Pinkie," Derpy began, "it amazes me how friendly you are with everypony. I hope Muffin here can learn a thing or two about friendship from you."

"Oh stop it you," answered Pinkie, blushing at the sincere compliment.

After a few more minutes, the hospital came into view. Pinkie walked in first, but rather than entering the building, she simply walked around in the rotating doorway.

"Hey! This is fun! It's like a mini carousel!"

Derpy attempted to join in, but bonked her head against the door. Pinkie laughed, slowing down so that Derpy could enter. The two ponies spun and spun until the carousel was a blur.

Derpy, unable to keep up with Pinkie's pace, was launched into the hospital with astonishing speed. She collided with the front desk, shocking the mare sitting behind it.

"Umm... hello?"

"Hi Nurse Redheart!" greeted Pinkie, having just finished playing with the door. "How are you today?"

"I'm fine, thanks for asking," she replied with a smile. "So, how may I be of assistance?"

"Derpy and I are here to visit a patient," Pinkie clarified.

"Ya," agreed Derpy, "we're looking for Mr. Doughnut Joe. Or should I say Mr. Muffin Joe?"

"Ahh, Mr. Joe. He's quite an interesting case. I still can't believe he had his name changed. Twilight stopped by the hospital earlier and explained the whole situation to us."

"How is he doing?" asked Derpy.

"Well, after having had his stomach pumped to help rid him of the substances, and with the help of a bit of magic, Joe's doing much better now. Although, he keeps mentioning muffins every now and then for some reason. Plus his grammar is still a tad bit awful. He should be good as new in a few days rather than a week!"

"Awesome!" cheered Pinkie. "What room is he staying in? We'd like to see him."

"It's a bit early for visitors, but I suppose I can let you two slide in."

Nurse Redheart turned to face her computer. A few keystrokes and mouse clicks later, she found Joe's information in the patient database. "Alright, let's see... Joe is in room 314. Take the elevator to the third floor and make a right. His room will be at the end of the hall, you can't miss it."

"Third floor, make a right, at the end of the hall," Pinkie confirmed. "Got it."

"As a formality, you two need to take these visitor tags with you," added Nurse Redheart.

Pinkie and Derpy retrieved the tags from the desk. Pinkie stuck hers on her forehead while Derpy stuck hers on her cheek.

"Well?" Derpy asked, pressing an unknown issue.

"Well... what?"

"Aren't you forgetting something, Miss Nurse Pants? Surely someone as smart as you would now that there's something wrong here."

Nurse Redheart rolled her eyes. She grabbed another visitor tag and handed it over to Derpy, who promptly stuck it onto Muffin. "Forgive me please," she said.

"I'll have to ask Muffin if he forgives you first," Derpy answered. "Well, do you forgive her Muffin?"

"..."

"Muffin forgives you," she confirmed.

"Thanks for everything nurse!"

"No problem you two. Tell Joe I said hi!"

With everything said and done, the two mares made their way over to the elevator. One jazzy ride later, they found themselves on the third floor. As instructed, they made a right and found room 314 at the end of the hallway.

"Open it quietly, we don't want to disturb Joe if he's sleeping," Pinkie stressed.

"Don't worry, I'll be as quiet as a mouse that's super quiet!" assured Derpy.

Derpy bucked upon the door with her hind legs.

"Eeeeeeeek!"

"Hmm, I think we have the wrong room."

"No siree, that's definitely Joe over there," confirmed Pinkie.

"No, I could've sworn I just heard a mare. What do you think, Muffin?"

"..."

"Why are you frightened all of a sudden, Muffin?" asked Derpy, pure concern in her voice. She coddled Muffin in her hooves.

"It's probably because he's in the same room as his former captor," Pinkie pointed out. "I dunno, that's just my opinion. Maybe he saw a ghost? Oh! I know! Maybe he—"

"What is you three doing here?"

Joe quickly became the center of attention as two heads, and a muffin, snapped towards him.

"Oh! So it really was Joe! That's strange, I didn't know that stallions could sound like that."

"Hi Joe!" began Pinkie. "We just decided to walk on over to the hospital and see how you were doing and we were wondering if there's anything in particular that we can do to help make you feel at least a teensy bit more—"

"What she's trying to say," interrupted Derpy, "is that we're here to see how you're doing."

"Well, me could be better honestly," Joe shrugged.

"I'll say. Look at the breakfast they left here! Toast and hay? Where's the sugar here?"

Pinkie reached into her mane and replaced the dish with a cupcake, muffin and doughnut combo, complete with a few apples and a fizzy grape drink.

"That's better!"

Joe reached for the fizzy grape drink, spilling a bit on the floor due to his sluggishness, "So, you saw how me is doing. What now?"

"Well, Pinkie and I have been doing some talking. This whole situation is pretty crazy if you think about it really. I mean... you stole a muffin from me, of all things. You could've stolen some food, or maybe some bits. But nope! You go straight for Muffin here! Can you imagine how he must've felt? Being abducted from his home like that?"

"No," Joe answered, shriveling under the hospital bedsheets. "Me is sorry, really. Me shouldn't have take your muffin like that. It was yours, not me. Me feel really bad. Me only wanted to use it to win the National Dessert Competition. But, me no expect it to take over my mind once I taste it! Me was a stupid foal..."

"Well, I guess we can say that you bite off more than you could chew!" giggled Pinkie.

"Look, Joe. I accept your apology, because as Muffin's owner and or mother, I try to set a good example for him. Forgiveness is important."

"Thank you Derpy Hooves for forgive me."

"I'm not the only one you should be apologizing too."

"Me is sorry to you too, Pinkie."

"Oh it's okay Joey. As long as you've learned your lesson, I see no reason to hold a grudge. Besides, that food fight was fantastic! We should do it again sometime! Although, perhaps with less deadly vegetables."

"So, is we all good now?"

"Not yet, Mr Joe," Derpy declared. "There's somemuffin else you need to apologize to."

With a look between Derpy's fore hooves, Joe found himself staring at the bite marks scarring Muffin's otherwise immaculate appearance. As a baker himself, he knew how to appreciate the effort and skill put into making such a treat. It must've been absolutely astonishing when it was newly made. No bite marks, no nothing. It had been the epitome of all things delicious, worthy of both Celestia's and Luna's highest praises. Now, even though it was still rather dashing, its beauty had been diminished. And, for contributing partially to that, Joe felt truly awful inside.

"M-me sorry, Muffin!" Joe managed to choke out, just before the tears began.

"Aww, you poor thing," Derpy muttered to herself. She placed Muffin on her head and reached out to give Joe a hug. "Hush now, it's okay. Muffin forgives you. Isn't that right, Muffin?"

"..."

"See?"

"Me sorry! Me sorry!" he cried, soaking Derpy's coat with his tears.

"Scoot over a bit, Derpy. I wanna join in!"

Pinkie sandwiched herself between Joe and Derpy. "Don't worry Joe. Everything will be fine," she consoled.

After a few more minutes, Joe managed to regain control of his tear ducts. He gazed at the mares with red, puffy eyes and a runny nose, "Thanks you."

"Here. You might want this."

Joe nodded his appreciation as he gratefully grabbed the napkin from Pinkie's hoof.

"Oh be quiet, Muffin. Joe is not a baby."

After tidying himself, Joe stretched out his hoof.

"We can be friend?"

With little time to spare, two hooves immediately met his. Using her free hoof, Derpy placed Muffin directly in the center of the three way hoof bump.

"Friends!" the two mares, as well as the muffin, agreed.

"Came in!" Joe yelled.

"Hello Mr Joe," greeted Nurse Tenderheart, "And hello to you as well, Derpy and Pinkie. I didn't realize Joe would be having visitors today."

"Hiyah!" replied the two mares.

"I'm sorry, but could you two please leave the room for a few minutes? I need to do a quick check up on Joe. Check his heart rate, blood pressure, draw some more blood, yadayadayada."

"Okie dokie lokie! We'll be back in a bit Joe. Derpy and I are gonna go check out the cafeteria!"

A few hops later, Pinkie was out.

"Well, are you coming?" she asked, bouncing in place.

"Just a second," answered Derpy, "I'm gonna leave Muffin right here. He and Joe can have a nice friendly chat, just to get acquainted with each other.

"Good idea!"

Derpy placed Muffin on Joe's bedside table.

"Behave yourselves, both of you," she instructed, being serious for a rare second.

"Yes ma'am," Joe replied, as well as Muffin.

"I'll see you two in a bit!"

Derpy bumped into something on her way out, possibly breaking a few items.

"Derpy!? What did you do?" complained Nurse Tenderheart.

"Oops!"

With a sigh, Nurse Tenderheart closed the door.

"Alright, Joe. Let's get started!" she chimed in a sing song voice.

With practiced proficiency, Nurse Tenderheart accurately recorded Joe's heart rate and blood pressure.

She gave a little smile, "Well well. You are perfectly healthy! No issues here. Now I just need to draw some blood and send it to the lab for analysis."

"Me no like the needles!" cried Joe. "They is too pointy!"

Another knock come from behind the door.

"I'm not done yet!" Nurse Tenderheart responded.

"Please open up! It's really important!"

"Fine," she sighed as she opened the door.

"I almost forgot to mention!" Pinkie exclaimed from behind the door. "Nurse Redheart said to tell you hi!"

"Is that it?"

"Yup!"

Pinkie's face met the door a bit too intimately as Nurse Tenderheart pushed it closed.

"Don't come back for at least ten minutes, Pinkie. Please! I am trying to work here."

"Please come back! Annoy her! Me no want her to give me the needles!" he panicked. "Help me, Muffin! Distract evil lady!"

"..."

"Oh come on! Why you no help me? Didn't me treat you to a nice, romantic dinner before Pinkie and Derpy show up?"

"..."

"What you mean spaghetti was undercooked!?"

"Are you finished talking to yourself, Mr. Joe?" Nurse Tenderheart asked in an unamused tone. "Your body may be healthy, but your mind still needs time to recover it seems."

Joe cringed as Nurse Tenderheart began sterilizing the needle.

"Please gentle..."

Nurse Tenderheart offered a calming smile, "Oh hush you big baby. It'll be over before you know it."

Yet another knock came from behind the door.

"Yes! Me is saved!" Joe rejoiced.

"Who could that possibly be this time?"

A few grumbles later, the nurse trotted over to the door.

"Oh, hello there! Is Mr. Muffin Joe in here?"

"P-p-princess!?"

"Yup, that's me!" Celestia giggled.

Nurse Tenderheart bowed in respect, Joe was unable to. Celestia acknowledged them with a nod of her head. Waving a hoof she spoke, "You may rise. Please, don't fret. I'm not here to make any demands. Everypony seems to overreact when I trot into a room."

"Yes, of course princess! Sorry princess! How may I ever so humbly serve you, princess?"

"I would merely like to speak with Joe for a short while. That is all."

"At once princess! I'll leave right away, princess!"

"Huzzah!" rejoiced Joe, having been spared the extremely pointy point due to unforeseen circumstances.

Nurse Tenderheart vamoosed her way out of the tiny room. The closing of the door behind them granting the two occupants a little privacy.

"Alright, Joe," Celestia began in a firm tone, "I am going to assume you already know exactly why I've decided to visit you all the way from Canterlot." She decided not to beat around the bush, wanting to be over with the matter as swiftly as possible, yet dealing with it properly.

As he sighed, Joe took on a guilty look. He replied, "Yes, me know why you here. You is here because I steal something, yes? And since theft is bad, bad thing, you come to visit me personally and deal with problem directly?"

"You just about summed it up. I was informed that you were mentally incapacitated. It would appear that this isn't the case. Although... your ruthless slaughter of the Equestrian language makes me cringe a bit."

Joe shrugged.

"I see," nodded Celestia. "Anyway, I do hope you realize that some form of punishment is in order. I'm not about to let you get off scot-free for such an offense, benevolent as I may be."

"Me understands."

"Well then, Mr. Joe. What do you think—"

A knock came from behind the door.

"Joe, it's me, Derpy. Are you two done in there? Can I come in now? I can't stay away from Muffin too long; he starts to get the heebie-jeebies whenever he's alone.

Celestia nodded to Joe, giving him permission to let her enter.

"Came in!"

Derpy hurried inside, moving straight to Muffin the moment she entered.

"Oh Muffin I missed you so much!"

"..."

"Aww... you're so sweet Muffin."

"You only leave him for few minutes," Joe deadpanned. "And where did Pinkie went?"

"She's still in the cafeteria, raiding the sweets section," answered Derpy as she continued to nuzzle Muffin, getting a few crumbs in her fur.

"Hello, Derpy Hooves."

Derpy turned to find herself staring at none other than Princess Celestia herself.

"Oh! Hi Princess Celestia! It's so nice to see you! Look, Muffin, this is the mare I was telling you about awhile back. Mind your manners around her." Derpy placed Muffin on the floor before her. "Go on, say hi!"

"..."

"He's a little shy," blushed Derpy.

"Aww, isn't he adorable! He's lucky to have such a caring mother like you," giggled Celestia. She had been informed of Derpy Hooves' bubbly personality by Twilight's letters. Experiencing it first hand though was something else entirely. She found herself smiling a bit wider than usual as she watched the mare's antics. Her lips straightened out as she realized why she was here in the first place. "I'm going to guess that you've already spoken with Joe?"

"Yup, that's right," confirmed Derpy.

"Well, Joe needs to be punished for his thievery. I was going to make a suggestion... but I'm curious... What would you have in mind? Seeing as how you're the victim of this incident."

"Why, let him go of course!"

"Pffft!" Celestia spat out, momentarily losing her decorum. She demanded, "Why on Equestria should I let a criminal offense go unpunished!?"

"Well, for starters, both Muffin and I have forgiven him already. Joe has told us how sorry he is for his actions, and that he was being a foal when he decided to steal from me. Isn't that right Joe?"

"Ya," Joe admitted.

"Also, I know for sure that Joe has learned his lesson and won't ever do such a thing ever again! Right Joe?"

"Mhmm."

"Joe, Pinkie and I are friends now! Isn't that right, Joey?"

"Yes!" agreed Joe.

"Aaaaaand, to top it all off, Joe has agreed to allow me to eat from his shop free of charge!"

"Yeah! Wait... no I didn't—"

"Shhh, it's okay Joe. No need to argue."

Celestia took in this new information slowly. "Well," she began, "it would seem that you, and Pinkie Pie apparently, have this problem all sorted out. But still, I'm not letting this slide without some form of punishment. As such, I have come upon a suitable one."

"Cupcake?" Joe choked out, offering the cupcake which Pinkie had given him in an attempt to ease the incoming blow.

"Oh! Thank you," Celestia smiled. "Unfortunately, this will not ease your punishment."

"Was worth shot, right?"

"You shall perform volunteer work at the Ponyville Elderly Home for fours hours everyday, for the next month." Celestia declared with a smug grin.

"Noooo!" cried Joe.

"Well, what do you think, Derpy?"

"I love it!"

"Well, I better go make it official. A few signatures here and there and he'll be all set for next week. It was nice to meet you two."

"Bye!" waved Derpy.

"Say, before I leave, do you think I could have a little bite of that muffin? It looks absolutely amazing."

"Uh-oh!" Derpy thought, "What do I do? What do I do? She's the princess? I couldn't refuse her! But... if she takes a bite of Muffin... she'll go crazy too! But wait... wouldn't Celestia be immune? Seeing as how she is a powerful alicorn. Plus, she does eat a lot of cake. Maybe she is used to handling the flavorful ingredients? Ahh my head hurts!"

"Derpy? Me no sure is good idea."

"I dunno, princess. What do you think, Muffin? Is it okay if Princess Celestia takes a teeny bite out of you?"

"..."

"Hmm..." Derpy pondered as she took Muffin's opinion into account.

"It's no trouble, really," Celestia assured, "I just wanted a little taste is all. It's not everyday I see perfection like that. If you don't want to give me a piece, I'll understand perfectly."

Celestia made her way to the door, but was interrupted by Derpy.

"Answer me this. You are a really powerful alicorn right? And you can resist powerful magic, right?"

"Well, I don't mean to toot my own horn," she modestly answered, "but yes. I am pretty powerful. Why do you ask?"

"Well then, I guess it's okay if you take a teensy weensy little bite."

Derpy broke off a microscopic piece of Muffin and offered it to Celestia. "Sorry, Muffin," she whispered.

"Derpy... me has a bad feeling," warned Joe.

"Celestia should be powerful enough to resist it."

"Resist what? Is there something wrong with this Muffin?" Celestia asked a bit apprehensively.

"What? No no no! Not at all!" Derpy laughed.

"It's okay. If you don't want to share it it's perfectly fine. I'll just be leaving now."

Suddenly, Pinkie slammed open the door and dashed straight in.

"Derpy! My Pinkie Sense is—"

Pinkie collided harshly with Derpy sending both Muffin, and the little piece, sailing through the air. The latter, landed straight into Celestia's open mouth, while Muffin went flying through the open window. Derpy darted out the window in chase of Muffin.

"Pinkie? What in Equestria is... Mmm... This is really, really good! I've never tasted such an amazing muffin in my entire life! And that's saying something." Celestia's face glowed with approval as she chewed the muffin.

"Celestia! What ever you do... don't swallow that muffin!"

"Excuse me. What did you say, Pinkie?" Celestia asked as she swallowed, "I was busy being lost in this exquisite flavor."

"Noooooooooooooo!" Pinkie yelled in defeat.

"Derpy said Celestia might able resist the effects since she super powerful," Joe said. "Let's hope she right."

"I'm sorry, but what do you mean 'effects'? Was something wrong with that Muffin? Is this another prank of yours, Miss Pinkie?" Celestia smirked.

"Yes! It was... a prank?"

"Well, this has been fun and and all, but I must be leaving. But first, I should help that mare find her muffin."

Celestia flew out the window, meeting Derpy as she descended to the ground. She found the mare checking behind trees, in bushes, under benches, and behind garbage cans.

"Would you like some help finding your Muffin?"

"Oh yes! That would be lovely! It's just my luck that he had to land in these conveniently located gardens" Derpy said. "I can here him calling from somewhere to the left... but I'm not sure where exactly."

"Allow me."

Celestia prepped one of her more advanced spells. Her horn emitted a scanner ray, searching the entire left area.

"Ooooooooooo!"

"Ooooooooooo indeed! This is one of my favorite spells. It's pretty useful for finding misplaced objects."

"Can you teach it to me?"

"Sorry, Derpy. Unicorns only."

"Aww," Derpy pouted.

"There, I got it. Your muffin is inside of that rose bush over there," Celestia declared. "Let me get it for you."

"Gee. Thanks princess!"

Celestia trotted over and retrieved the muffin from the rose bush.

"Here you go," Celestia offered, levitating it over. Suddenly, it halted, just outside of Derpy's reach.

"Umm... princess... you can let it go now," Derpy giggled.

Using her wings, Derpy got herself high enough to grab at Muffin. She tugged at it, but it remained firm within Celestia's magical grasp.

"Princess? Can I have Muffin back now? He's getting a bit worried."

No response came from Celestia.

"Derpy? Is everything alright down here?" Pinkie asked as she floated down, suspended by a few balloons. Joe emerged a few moments later from the nearby door, happy to escape the hospital.

"Why her eyes like that?" Joe inquired. "Is princess okay? And why her mane color changed color to brown?"

"Uh oh. I'm shuddering! A real doozy is about to happen!"

"Princess? Hello? Are you feeling good? Should I call a nurse here?" Derpy asked as she waved a hoof in front of Celestia's face. "Do you want me to get Twilight here?"

"Muffins..."

"What? Speak up, princess, I can't hear you." Derpy cupped a hoof to her ear in order to hear better.

"Muffins!" Celestia shouted using the Royal Canterlot Voice. Derpy was blown away into a tree, while Pinkie and Joe tumbled into a garbage can.

"Oh, this is not good,"

"Me told you me had bad feeling about this!"

"Would you be quiet?" Derpy asked a bit harshly. "Now isn't the time to argue, we need to get Muffin back from her before she gets too crazy! I don't think I can bear to lose him again!"

"Muffin mine now, subjects! Obey princess! Leave be!" Celestia flapped her wings, getting away from the ground incase of a sudden attempt to reclaim her glorious muffin.

"Derpy's right!" Pinkie agreed, pulling out her party cannon from seemingly nowhere. "We need to be careful about this! Celestia is a powerful princess, she won't be easy to detain. Quick, Derpy, initiate offensive maneuver fifty-four!"

Derpy saluted. Reaching into Pinkie's mane, she retrieved a miniature cannon ball.

"Quick! Set her up!"

With Joe's help, Derpy prepped the cannon to fire.

"What you three muffins doing there!?" Celestia asked, a maniacal grin etched into her skin. Her eyes twitched uncontrollably as she stared down her disobedient subjects.

"Oh, nothing!" Pinkie sang. "Nothing at all!"

"Ready to fire," Derpy whispered.

"Line it up. Quick! Before she catches onto us!" Pinkie instructed.

Joe aligned the sights with Celestia, making sure to account for wind speed and target distance. Once everything was ready, Derpy gave Pinkie the signal by way of rapidly slapping her cheek five times.

"Say hello to my little friend!"

Pinkie lit the short fuse. In less than two seconds, the cannon fired, sending its projectile straight at Celestia. The cannonball broke apart in midair, revealing a restraining net, magically enhanced to suppress the mightiest of beasts.

"Where did you get this ammunition?" Derpy asked, awe-struck at the display.

"Ya!" Joe agreed, "Me never seen anything like this!"

"I'm afraid that's classified."

Joe's aim was true: the net whistled in the air was it made its way straight to Celestia.

"We got her!" Derpy cheered. "Don't worry, Muffin, you're safe now!"

A loud crackle was heard, before every pony suddenly became blinded by a harsh light.

"I can't see!" Pinkie complained, "did we get her?"

The light faded a few seconds later. Neither Muffin nor Celestia was anywhere to be seen.

"Cheater!" Joe shouted, waving an angry hoof in protest.

"Muffin? Muffin!?" Derpy franticly cried out. "This isn't fair! Why does everyone keep taking Muffin from me!?""

Derpy fell over, weeping and sniffling loudly. This time, it was Pinkie and Joe who moved to console Derpy

"Hey, Derpy. Listen..." Pinkie moved to sit beside Derpy, wrapping a hoof around her. Joe sat on the other side, doing the same. "I'm not going to pretend to know how you're feeling. Losing Muffin again must be hard, I know how much you care about him. But... do you think sitting here is gonna bring him back?"

"Well... no," sniffled Derpy.

"So, what do you think we should do?"

"I'm tired, Pinkie. I can't even imagine how Muffin must feel."

"I didn't ask you how you or Muffin felt, I asked you what we should do," Pinkie reiterated.

"We... we need to get him back!" Derpy shouted. "Nopony takes Muffin from me and gets away with it! Princess or not!"

"That's the spirit!" cheered Pinkie, throwing confetti in the air.

"Hey, me is here too," Joe pointed out. "Me is gonna help too. We are friends. Friends help friend."

"Aww, thanks Joe," Derpy smiled, wiping away her tears. She embraced him with both hooves, showing her gratefulness for his help. Joe blushed at her show of affection and bashfully returned the gesture.

"Hey, don't forget your hat!" Pinkie spoke up, already wearing her detective hat.

"Thanks, Pinkie," Derpy replied, grabbing the hat from Pinkie's hoof and donning it stylishly.

"Hey! Me want a hat."

"Oh! Almost forgot! Sorry."

"That's better," Joe declared as she adjusted his sweet new headgear.

"Quick! Strike a cool pose everypony," Pinkie blurted out.

"Why?" asked Derpy.

"Aww come on, just do it. Pleeeease!"

"Fine."

The three ponies each struck a fabulous pose.

"Super Muffin Squad! Da na na na!"

"Really?" Joe deadpanned.

"What? I thought it was cool," Pinkie shrugged.

"Can somepony get me out of this darn net?" cried Twilight from a distance.