Things you never expect

by Thorn buck

We come in peace

Equestria

Road to Ponyville

After catching up with Eliphas we made our way towards a dirt road leading out of the farm in silence. In a very awkward silence.

This silence is making me insane! I have to talk to someone… I thought as I glanced at my companions. The medic was busy looking at his weapons for any damage and Bluddflagg was glaring at Eliphas while the latter just walked in front of us. Okay, time to socialize with "Lord Eliphas" I picked my pace to walk at his side.

"So Eliph--… I mean Lord Eliphas, can you tell me about yourself?" The armored man sifted his gaze from the road to me with an unreadable expression.

"You are a very bold mortal to actually gain the courage to speak to me. You should be honored to walk alongside me with your head still intact..." Must... Not... Run... "But since we agreed to travel in a group I will not decapitate you and to answer your question: I am a chaos space marine, who has served the dark Gods for thousands of years. That is all you need to know for now..." It’s something, I guess I nodded and turned my head towards the road in deep thought. That makes a pirate alien, a mercenary who may be insane and finally an old worshiper of some kind of evil Gods... I sighed as I shook my head thinking about what did I do to deserve this. "Mortal! I can tell by just looking at you that you are the only one who hasn't shed blood in our group." Eliphas suddenly commented.

I was confused by the question for a second but shrugged it off. "I'm just your average family man, who has been sent to another world, Lord Eliphas," I solemnly replied." I come from a relatively peaceful world where shedding blood of others is taboo." Eliphas lowered his head and seemed to be in deep thought.

"I see… But what if someone tried to kill you? Would you fight back?" What kind of question is that?

"Of course I would fight back!"

"Then tell me mortal, would you kill him?" I froze my mind going blank.

"W-well...I… Er, I…" I stammered unable to come with a proper answer

"Think abot what I’ve said, mortal, and give me your answer later" Eliphas replied before I could say anything. Would you kill him? Eliphas’s words echoed in my mind.

"OI! Skinny boy! Why’z you standing and not walking?" I shook my head and realized that I had stopped walking "Sorry about that, Kaptin, I was just thinking about things," I said as I quickly made my way to him.

"The chaos boys are sneaky. You’z better off not thinkin’ about what they says," You can be surprisingly smart when you want Kaptin. I thought surprised that the Kaptin had noticed.

"I can hear you, ork." Eliphas replied from the front, with a slight irritation, causing Bluddflagg to glare at him.

"You’z will hear more when I’ll rip your zoggin’ ears of and kick your arse so hard I’z can wear it as a hat, chaos boy!" Bluddflagg threatened while giving Eliphas the universal middle finger. I could swear Eliphas had look of pure murder on his face when Bluddflagg said that.

"I do have to admit zat a hat ov zat kind vould be rather interesting" The medic chuckled but was promptly silenced when Eliphas calmly strolled to a nearby tree and proceeded to rip it of the ground and flinging it towards him. "Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!" The medic screamed as he barely dodged the flying projectile.

"Time is of the essence. Let’s not waste it." Eliphas calmly stated while giving the medic a chilling stare.

The tension was getting so thick that you could cut it with a knife. "Now, now, let’s not start bickering amongst ourselves," I went to cool the tension before things started to escalate. "If we keep our walking pace, I’m sure we will arrive at the nearest village soon so let’s calm down!" Eliphas and Bluddflagg just stared at me, but nodded after a while of staring.

"Come. We have wasted enough time standing here" Eliphas went to walk again.

"Ze man has anger issues" Medic muttered as we started to move again

"It’s best if we just kept our mouths shut, wouldn't you agree?" I hissed, patting the doctor’s back for emphasis.

"Zat is true, mein Freund. Very true," he agreed while glancing at Eliphas.

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The majority of the trip was made in complete silence, again, which gave me plenty of time to think about some of the many things that bothered me such as: Why did I feel safe traveling with a bunch of killers? What did Eliphas mean by asking that question? And why the hell Bluddflagg claims that red ones go faster?

My pondering was cut short when I noticed that Eliphas had stopped.

"We have arrived" The armored man spoke while pointing at some kind of village in the distance. I felt like kissing the ground. Finally! Civilization, how I missed you! I sighed in relief the walk had really tired me out. Eliphas turned to face us "You humans should go and negotiate with the locals, since mine and the ork’s appearance may scare them and ruin our chances of getting out of this world"

"That is true… but what if the locals are hostile?" I asked

"…I and the ork will be at a hearing distance and the mercenary has weapons for protection so you will be safe" Eliphas assured me.

"Okay, let’s do this, Medic" I turned to my companion who gave a nod of affirmation, we then proceeded towards the village while Eliphas and Bluddflagg kept their distance. We passed a wooden bridge and noticed a sing in front of us

"Welcome to Ponyville?" I wondered aloud, Medic’s eye twitching at the name.

"Who ze hell names their village ‘Ponyville’?!"

"Perhaps they specialize in breeding ponies. After all, the creature at the farm resembled one," I deduced.

"Zat could make sense. But why......" Medic trailed of causing me to raise a brow in confusion.

"What’s wrong?" I noticed that he was staring at something so I followed his gaze. My jaw dropped.

Ponies.

Ponies of different colors and tattoos were staring at us. I slowly scanned my surroundings and realized that we had walked right in the town entrance without even noticing because we were so concentrated on that damn sing. The town was full of ponies some of which were staring at us from the windows of the houses. It finally hit me. A town called Ponyville! With ponies who have their own houses… They are the residents of this world! I slowly turned my head towards medic "Let me handle this.." I whispered earning a nod from the stunned doctor.

I faced the quiet equines and raised my hand.

"We come in peace," I insisted. Then the screams started.

The ponies started running around like headless chickens some quickly running to their houses for safety, the street was empty in less than five seconds leaving a dust cloud behind.

"I believe that we have failed miserably at the first contact…" I laughed, in total lacking of ever getting this right. Medic laughed nervously along.

"Zat is true..."

To be continued.

Comments

[Sound Shard]

Zat is true.

[Alex Wadegrove]

Next: Rainbow Dash charges in.

By the way, it's called a "sign", not a "sing".

[SpacelordVen]

Editor for hire!!! would you like one?
funny story... god how i love the Kap'n... wonser if theres the mention of sum sturmboyz