• Published 17th Feb 2013
  • 2,872 Views, 161 Comments

The Smokeless Flame - BIGBLACKINTOSH



A mid-night trip to the fridge ends up with me going to Equestria. Great. (Chess-game of gods universe story)

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Getting on the road

Fog, fog, fog, and look more dull grey fog. I stood alone in the thickest fog that was so thick, I struggled to look at my own hand. I stared at the thick, endless fog with disdain and boredom.

“Damn, this is getting boring. Normally my dreams are filled with harems of shirtless boys feeding me candied grapes while I play Assassin’s Creed on a golden throne,” I said to the fog.

Thats when the fog began to move, shifting and turning until it snapped into the image of my favorite war god, Burijas. He was still dressed in his red suit and that really creepy smile on his face. “So, how was your first day in Equestria?” he asked smugly.

I was about to smack off his shit-eating grin but then remembered that he was a god and a goddamn war god at that. He’d probably catch my hit and send me flying. So I opted for being a snarky bitch instead.

I smiled. “Oh you know. Nearly died twice. Met some college buddies. Killed a dragon. Met a really cute boy. What didn't I do today?” I asked myself tapping my chin, “Oh yeah, FIND MY FREAKING BROTHER, YOU VAGUE PRICK!” I shouted at him. His shit-eating grin did not waver and that made me angry.Burijas dissipated out of sight. The next second, I felt a familiar, agonizing pain coming out of my back. I crumbled to my knees and heard a click behind my head.

“I believe you know what I have to you're head child,” said Burijas, smugly. I nodded. “Do you know why I would leave such a powerful weapon for you?”

“Because you said you would?” I replied. His answer was to pistolwhip the back of my head. “OW!”

“Of course I said I would, but why?

While I nurse the back of my head, I thought about it, why would he give me anything at all? A memory of a conversation I had with my brother came to mind...


So what does a arms master do exactly Asad?” I asked my brother. We were sitting on a park table in front of a food truck. One of the first things he demanded we do when he got home was get a “wholesome american” cheese burger. My brother was a very big man. He had wide shoulders and massive arms that I would normally challenge to hang from and his chest was something that could challenge superman. If you really needed an image of him, I’d say he looked like James Vega. Like mine, his skin was caramel brown, his eyes were pure amber, and what was left of his hair was jet black.

He lowered the burger he was eating and looked to sky in thought. He shrugged. “Its sort of like being a store clerk I guess. I make sure my squad has what they need before a assignment. Basically its my job to make sure everyone has the tools they need to do their jobs,” he explained.

“Huh,” I said as I took another swig of my milkshake. We spent the rest of that afternoon doing random things. Movies, arcades, and other fun stuff that we’d not be able to do soon. But just before the day was done, we hit our town mall and decided to split up and surprise each other with a gift.

We met in the food court to do the exchange. He was sitting at a table holding a large box. I sat down and smiled at him. “So what's in the box?” I asked playfully. He placed the box on the table and held his hand over the top. “Nope, guy who gets shot at goes first,” he replied.

I frowned and suddenly smiled as I shoved a plastic bag over the table. He opened the bag and brought out a gold chain with a RainbowDash pendant on it. He stared at the chain with silent awe in his eyes. Asad was a recently turned brony. During his off-time overseas, I had convinced him to watch the show. He fell in love with it immediately and within a day, had named RD as his best pony.

We exchanged a stare that said ‘thank you’ as we did when we were kids. Knowing his thick neck wouldn't hold the tiny necklace, he wrapped it around his wrist, letting the pendant hang. He pushed the box across the table and smiled. “Your turn,” he said.

I quickly opened the box to see a black western duster that you’d probably see in movies. I jumped out of my seat, taking the duster with me. I loved dusters and long coats. As a kid, seeing characters like Alucard and Dante made me want to always buy one someday. I slipped on the coat and smiled back at Asad. “You know you're the best right?” I asked him. He chuckled. “I know I am, and don't you forget it,” he replied, pointing a single finger at me.


I came back from the memory, still at the end of a revolver to the back of my head. Burijas was dropping off equipment to get me ready for something. Whether or not it had something to do with finding Asad, I didn't know. What I did know there was a god was pointing an incredibly strong gun at my head.

“You're getting me ready for something, aren't you?” I asked. Burijas chuckled. “Took you long enough. Now get up and retrieve your weapon, we have much to discuss. I got to my knees and turned around, only to have the god shove the revolver onto my chest. “Do not question me again. I have brought you here to reawaken your sibling and if you want to live to see that day, you will be quiet and you will listen.” he said firmly.

“Fine, what do you have to say?” I snarled. Burijas lifted his hand and turned it into the same fog that surrounded us. “You are Djinn,” he started. “You are a being of spirit. That means you can transform you body to anything you desire; from smoke, to another mortal, you can change into and sound like anything,” he explained.

I pondered this for a moment, and stared down at my feet. They were still cat-like but I really didn't like that. Cats annoyed the hell out of me and being half of one didn't sit right with me. So, I closed my eyes and pictured a type of creature I missed seeing. Dogs, no. Human, boring. Aha! I thought as I focused on the memory of the creature. There was a shift in my stomach, and I couldn't feel my hands or feet for second, only to feel them again, but changed.

I opened my eyes and lifted my hands to see that I had lost a finger and was replaced with two talon-like claws and a talon-like thumb. The fingers were wide, definatly wide enough to hold my gun. I looked down to my feet to see that my legs changed back into something almost human but still just...strangely bent. My feet however were turned into something like my hands. There were only two claw-like appendages on each of the feet and a short talon on the back of the foot.

I had turned my hands and feet into that of a turian’s.

“This is so cool!” I shouted. “What else can I do?”

Burijas shook his head. “I’ll tell you in time. For now, you need to know two things; 1: Your weapons feed off of your energy 2: You're about to wake up .”

“Um..what-?” I managed to say before waking up.


When I woke up, I smelled the one thing I thought I never smell again. Meat. Not just meat, cooked meat. The first thing I did every morning back on earth, was fry up ham, bacon, eggs, etcetera.You know, what would be considered a man’s breakfast. My ass. I was about to run up towards the smell but stopped when I heard Nightheart ask a particular question...

“So why do you guys follow her? Idilah I mean,” he asked.

I could hear Nathan’s eye brow furrowing in confusion. “I don't know. Why do you ask?” he replied taking a bite of meat. (Yes, I know when someones eating meat just from hearing it.)

I could hear hay moving from where Nightheart’s voice was coming from. “I mean, I want to follow her because she killed my tormentor from birth, and I owe her a lot, but you guys...I can't figure out what you guys see in her.” he said.

There was another bite of meat and Mitchel joined the conversation, surprising me. Not because he was talking in complete sentences, but that he was eating meat. “Well, for starters, she’s the most bad-ass girl I’ve ever met. I mean, she beat two dudes up, the first day I met her,” he explained. Nightheart said nothing.

Nathan snorted. “Oh yeah, it was the first time I met her too. See where we’re from, when theres a party, someone brings a giant barrel of beer. People are held over the barrel, upside down and try to see how much they can drink before they either pass out or piss themselves,” he explained. “Mitchel was the first one up and only survived for two minutes before passing out, but Idilah here,” he paused and chuckled. “She was held up on thing for half an hour.”

I remember that party. It was the first party I ever went to and I managed to get a reputation. Everyone on campus started calling me I.D. card after that. God only knows why.

“Anyway,” Nathan continued. “After that, Mitchel and I just stared at her the rest of party. I mean, who drinks nearly a gallon of alcohol and still walks?! Well, as it turns out, we weren't the only ones watching, cause a couple guys walked up to her and started chatting her up, thinking a drunk girl would be easy bait. We couldn't hear what they were saying to her but whatever it was, she got pissed. Tell him Mitchel,” he said to the pony.

“She flipped one over her shoulder and broke the other one’s arm. Both of them were in the hospital for a week. After she beat two guys, drunk, we had to talk to her,” Mitchel explained.

“And thats how we became friends, but why do we follow her?” Nathan continued. “1. She’s the strongest woman we’ve ever seen. 2. She’s the only person we know thats here. And 3. Why the fuck not?” he said casually.

I arose from my sleep and gave Nathan a tight hug. He gasped for breath as I squeezed tighter and tighter. “Hey, gotta breathe!” he rasped still in my grip. I released him and turned to the pile of scorched meat that everyone was eating. I stared at it with disgust and hunger. “Um, what is this?” I asked no one in particular. It had been a day since I had anything to eat, but I had to set some standards

Nightheart sat in front of me and Nathan, while Mitchel was alone to the left. Nightheart lifted a scorched black deer leg and took a huge bite out of it. “Fresh ash doe venison,” answered Nightheart. He pointed to particularly big piece in the pile. “That one’s for you,” he said shyly.

I lifted the piece and stared at it for only a second before I tore into it. Within seconds, the meat was gone and all that remained were scorched crumbs.The guys stared at me, amazed. I then burped so loud it could have contested Nathan’s caw. I stared back at them. “What?,” I said defensively.

Nathan loudly coughed. “Anyway...We made new names!” he announced.

I stared at him expectantly. He had better have a damned good reason for ruining my moment. “You know, with it being a new day and all, I thought it would be a good time to make up new names, you start,” he explained, waving to Mitchel.

Mitchel dramatically cleared his throat. “From henceforth, my new name shall be Gh0st!” Someone who was formerly Mitchel announced.

“And I will henceforth be known as Crow!” Nathan chimed in.

I stared at them both blankly.

And then started laughing uncontrollably.

I threw my head back, tipping over and laying flat on my back. Nightheart joined in on the laugh and hugged his belly. Nathan (Crow) and Mitchel(Gh0st) stared at us both, confused.

“What?” asked Gh0st.

I sat back up a wiped a tear out of my eye. “Oh, nothing. I just love having adorkable friends,” said dreamily. I then noticed a distinct lack of deadly objects and a bad-ass coat that belonged to me. “Hey, wheres my stuff?” I asked the boys. They all looked at each other worriedly. I rose an eyebrow. “What? What happened?” I asked them.

Crow shook his head. “We don't know, but when we got back from hunting you were changing and you're stuff kinda just...went into you,” he explained. He pointed to where I was sleeping and I saw my duster splayed on the pelt. “However, you're coat just fell off of you when you attacked me,” he said firmly. I gave him a nervous smile. “Sorry. So, Nightheart, where and what is Dustown?” I asked the dragon-pony.

He finished the last piece of his slice of venison and burped. “Ah. Dustown is a airship port on the side of the mountain. I rarely ever went there, considering the fact that there’s a roost on the way there and Mama bitch would burn me if I went beyond the cave and got sighted. That reminds me, Idilah, are you gonna go back for my moms body?” he asked.

“Um why would I go back for your moms body?” I asked curiously.

He shook his head. “Because, dragon bone is the strongest thing on the planet. Not to mention the worth of the stuff,” he explained.

My eyes went wide and I stared at Gh0st and Crow angrily. “And why didn't you tell me this earlier?!” I asked them.

They both shook their heads. “We didn't know!” they said at the same time. I face-palmed.

“Great, now we have to backtrack and find a way to get at least a leg of her-Oh, wait,” I turned to Crow, with a prideful smile on my face. “You already cut off her tail and leg already. All we need to do is go and grab them and bring them...ugh! We can't just lug around dragon parts all over the mountain!” I shouted to the glass domed ceiling.

Nightheart clapped his hand on my shoulder, looking at me reassuring me. “Don't worry, I’ll grab and carry my mom’s leg. Then we head east, toward the side of the mountain. Thats where Dustown’s gonna be.”

I smiled at him. “Only a day and you're already offering to carry my stuff. Alright boys, lets pack up and head back,” I ordered them. They all nodded and started packing up what stuff they had. I decided to carry around 15000 bits on me; 5000 to help the town get back on its feet and 10000 for us. While Gh0st and Crow were busy retrieving their weapons, I spotted Nightheart strapping his krogan warhammer to a leather scabbard. I stared at it intently, thinking. Where the hell did something like that come from?

I asked Nightheart this and he chuckled, looking up to the domed ceiling. “One night when I was a kid, a giant light flashed in the night sky and a crater exploded in front of me. And at the bottom of that crater, was this giant hammer,” he explained, pointing a thumb at the hammer on his back. “When I finally dragged it back home, mama was furious. She took it from me and told me to go to bed. I never saw it again and just thought she threw away. But no, apparently she had it under her damn pelt along with her hoard,” he explained with disdain.

After he told his story, we headed back for Ashville. It was an uneventful walk. Gh0st eventually got bored and started to ‘mouth’ dubstep. The very oddering of wubs made me want to put a bullet in his head. The thought of which, made my gun appear in my hand. When I say appear,of course I mean the gun literally grew out of my palm, causing me to almost crumble on the ground. After getting over the pain, we walked the rest of the way to the town without issue.

When we got there, the people were in rush, picking up debri from the destruction. I sent the boys to collect the body parts while I went to go find the mayor. Turns out that the mayor was none other than Rayne herself. When she saw me, she showered me with “thank you’s” and promised me a house in town when it could be built. “When we get this town back on its feet, you’ll most definitely be considered a resident. And after killing the dragon, we can start trading again!” she shouted over the construction. I lifted a coin purse with the 5000 I separated for the town and handed it to her.She grabbed it with her magic and stared at the pounch. “Consider this my deposit and good luck,” I said walking away as she jumped with joy.

I met up with the boys and saw Nightheart with a dark-blue scaled severed leg over his shoulder. He had the weirdest smug smile on his face as we trudged through the black forest, toward the town of dust.

Author's Note:

Ok guys heres the deal, the next chapter is gonna be just over 3200 words and that's going to be my standard. Again, if you want frequent updates, just follow.

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