The Ponypocolipse

by radiation_pony

Chapter 1: The Return Of The Ponies

Earth: 1/12/2012_

“Yes the world is supposedly coming to an end. Yes people are rioting. Yes people are walking with signs saying repent. Do I believe that the Mayans had predicted the end of the world? Of course not! What sort of science geek would I be if I ran around screaming like a chicken with its head cut off just because of a centuries old calendar came to an end?” I ask my camera for my video diary

Earth: 6/12/2012_

“The riots are intensifying. Apparently over in Europe police are trying to stop flagellants from killing themselves. And in North Africa the governments are using tear gas on protesters. Here in America schools are closing because of shootings, it’s not too uncommon to hear a firearm late at night. Oh and guess what, physicists have found a pattern in the Heisenberg uncertainty principle, which may allow humans to one day develop teleportation.”

Equestria: 6/12/1012_

“Sister are thou sure of this?” Luna asked her older sister as they watched Twilight read a book about arcane spells “it tis dangerous on the other side and we do not know if she could control it. The stars are hard to use, we should know”

“Yes Lulu I am confident in her abilities if anypony could create the portal she can. In six days we will take her to our old castle. With the power of the stars at their strongest and the lay lines to control them she should be able to create the portal”

Equestria: 12/12/1012_

The princesses had gathered the Elements of Harmony to go to the castle of the royal pony sisters where the lay lines would be able to hold the stars’ power for Twilight to harness and create a portal to earth. As the seven ponies (Celestia having flown ahead) walked through the Everfree forest they talked about humanity

“Oh I'm so excited!” Twilight exclaimed as the expedition walked through the Everfree forest “meeting a civilization that we haven’t seen in over four thousand six hundred years”

“Only you Twilight could get so excited over a group of primitive apes” Rarity complained

“Don’t be mean Rarity. They could have advanced a lot in the 7.485.596.M4 years since we last visited them, they could have built big rockets to let them send robots to other planets” Pinkie retorted. And when she said the years since their last visit, instead of sound, numbers appeared next to her and floated by her side until she started saying words agen

“Did the element of laughter just speak the written form of numerals?” Luna asked as she looked at the bouncing pink mare

“Ah think she just did but that’s jus pinkie be’n pinkie” Applejack said completely unphased by what had just happened

“Pinkie you should know just as well as the next pony that there’s no such thing as robots and no rocket could go to another planet, there’s no way it could carry enough powder to go thousands of miles into space” Twilight corrected having no clue of how wrong she was.

“When you said those numbers what the hay did you mean? Time isn’t written like that” Rainbow Dash asked

Pinkie takes a deep breath before replying “it’s how the Imperium of Man writes time in the forty first millennium the seven means that the ability for error of ten years, the next three digits are the year fractions which divides the year into a thousand pieces. Then comes the year itself the first three signify the century the decade and the unit and the number after the em is how many thousands of years it is. The decimal points separate the different parts”

“So according to this ‘Imperium of Man’ the date here is five point nine hundred and fifty five point twelve em one?” Princess Celestia asks, startling all the ponies (save Princess Luna) who had walked to the castle’s gate without noticing

“Ah, nopie dopie lopie the first number is the accuracy so a one through five is how many links the event is from the empire’s center so this should be a one although since we aren’t in the Imperium it could be written as a nine” Pinkie corrected

“Oh, princess! I don’t know how we got here so fast” Twilight stated as she ran up to her mentor before asking are we ready to begin the spell?”

Celestia looks up at the sky as her horn starts to glow lowering the sun the last bit over the horizon “Luna has called for a lunar eclipse so all the stars should be at their most powerful.” Celestia looks at the cyan pegasus “Now Rainbow Dash could you keep the clouds away?”

Dash replies with a smirk “even in the Everfree I can clear the sky in ten, seconds, flat!” before flying up to clear the sky like she said she would

Celestia looks back at Twilight and continues “I’ve looked at the lay lines and their more intact than I believed so we don’t need to repair them. All we’re waiting for is for Luna to finish playing with the sky”

A minute later Luna landed next to the group and says to Celestia “sister we have finished arranging the stars, we are ready to begin”

“as beautiful as ever lulu” Celestia praised before walking into the heart of the castle, gesturing for the others to follow her.

The group walks into the room that they had stopped Nightmare Moon only this time a large circle had been chalked onto the ground. Celestia says to Luna you’re right it very well could be dangerous so that why I'm bringing my two best guardsponies” with a flash of light two white ponies in gold armor appeared, one with wings the other a unicorn. “may I introduce Shining Armor and Commander Barricade.”

“Shining! Twilight yells as she runs up to the unicorn guard. “I missed you so much BBBFF”

“I missed you too Twilie” he responds as he wraps her in a hug.

Standing in the corner of the room Fluttershy looks at the pegasus mare before asking a single word “Mom?”

Everypony in the room stops what they’re doing and stares at the two ponies

“Mom it is you!” Fluttershy almost shouts as she gallops to the armored pegasus who smiles and braces for the impact.

Shining Armor tries to shout a warning “Fluttershy stop, you’ll hurt yourself” but the yellow mare continues galloping towards her mother who was in her Equestria famous defensive stance.

Everypony looks away as Fluttershy impacts her mother a moment later the ponies look back to see Barricade on her back and Fluttershy triumphantly standing over her.

The captain of the royal guard manages to studier “Barricade?”

She replies as she pushes Fluttershy off herself “yes I know, I’ve halted grifonian battle chariots in their tracks but I can’t stop my own daughter.” She looks at Fluttershy “it’s good to see you too”

Princess Luna is the first to come to her senses “now that this reunion is over can we continue with the spell?”

“Everypony stand inside the circle, Twilight you know what to do. Luna and I will help you” Celestia instructs. The elements of harmony and the two guards run to the edge and stand there as Twilight walked to the center.

“Twilight, one last time which spells are you supposed to use?” Celestia quizzes

“Starswirl the Bearded’s Dimensional Alteration spell, the Heartstrings human detection spell, a mass long range teleportation spell, and a shape shifting spell to keep us from startling the humans” Twilight recites receiving a nod from the solar Princess.

Twilight’s horn starts to glow and the chalk line burst into spectral fire. At six points equidistant from one another on the edge of the circle lines shot out to meet one another as well as racing toward the center where Twilight’s standing. As the six lines touch her hooves she gasps and her eyes glow white then she says “Luna, I'm ready”

The Princess of the night nods and her horn glows as she guides the power of the stars. She walks forward and touches horns with Twilight transferring the power to the purple unicorn which immediately raises into the air her hooves still burning with ethereal fire. Her friends, the guards, and the princesses start to burn with the same fire. A moment later starting at the tip of her horn a sphere of dark blue energy appears, and with the help of Twilight and the two alicorns, it starts to expand.

The purple mare starts to sweat and the glow of her horn starts to fluctuate. She gasps and stutters “I, I can’t hold it.” a second later the sphere explodes.

Earth: 12/12/2012_

“Ha! see the world didn’t end. all those people that sold everything because they thought the world was going to end, joke’s on them!”

“I'm wondering could you… why are you talking to that box?” a rather girly voice asks

I look behind me, I don’t have any sisters. I'm shocked at what I see: a light blue unicorn with a brown mane. Unicorns are mythological creatures, aren’t they?

“um why are you staring at me like that” the small horse, no pony

“well, it’s not everyday you see a unicorn in your house” understatement of the year

“I don’t know where you’re looking but when I was walking down the hall I almost ran into one, she ran away when I asked where I was; I think she’s your mom”

“my parents are not ponies!” I almost yell

“uh, ya, they are, simple genetics: if you’re a pony, your parents are ponies. So yes they’re ponies, and so are you I you haven’t noticed.” She says rolling her eyes

“I'm most definitely not a…” I raise my hand. Only to find that it’s now a hot, pink, hoof. I only have one thing left to say:

“oh, fuck”

Author's Note:

happy new years everypony new story spent the past few days working on it. no i still don't have an editor

i don't know when i'll update next

Comments

[Mr Pones]

four and a "HAFE" thousand years
static4.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/OH+SHIT+NIGGER+WHAT+ARE+YOU+DOING+_f066864ca3b071512e5334d0e8584580.gif

[Boss_Hoss1]

Heck, i'm in, Where do I sign up? This is a disaster I can get behind.
(Might need a prereader to kill off the last typos. "...The captain of the royal guard manages to studier “Barricade?”... Study her? stutter?)

[radiation_pony]

1885080 yes i do need a proofreader and i did wright have (hafe? how the heck do you spell it?) of this on new years eve, finished at 8:30

[Boss_Hoss1]

Ahh I see. Half was written in a hurry to get it out before Midnight. I might try a hoof at prereading the next part if you dont mind (how does that work here? use the message feature?

[Mr AJ]

Typos and all that aside, this sounds like it might be fun. I think I'll hang around for this.

[radiation_pony]

1887639 wait, half is spelled H A L F? i did not know that, you'd edit for me? seriously? this one i'm not going to be working on but i have a few others that i'm putting more time into

also is far as i'm aware you use PM to trade G-Doc accounts

[gamerboy111]

I can be your editor.