The Apples of Ponyville

by primeoetgrunn

History lessons and fixing up the legend

"Oh my gosh! What happened to the princess?" Twilight Sparkle stood wide eyed, looking at the unconcious goddess.

Luna had just raised the moon that day and Applejack decided it was a good idea to bring the princess her favorite student to the barn.

"She just took a sip o' this, said someting about thankin' her grandmother and passed out on tha floor." Applejack explained while pointing a hoof at the bottle of moonshine.

"What is it? Poison?!" Twilight examined the bottle.

"The princess called it: 'Uncle Jesse's moonshine'. Whatever that means. There's more of it in there."

"How much more?" the unicorn asked her friend.

" 'Bout twenty or so bottles." Applejack recalled.

"And it came out of that hole?" Twilight asked again.

Applejack just nodded.

"This stuff is ancient, looking at the depth of the hole. Even more so than Equestrian history itself." Twilight concluded. "Mind if I took a bottle with me to, you know, examine it?"

"Go ahead, we definately won't miss it." The earth pony said. "But, what are we gunna do 'bout the princess? She could be in lives danger, for all we know."

"We wil take our sister back with us." Luna said from the door of the barn. "But let us clarify the situation first."

"What is it with royalty just appearing out of nowhere?" Applejack said annoyed.

Twilight gave the applefarmer a glare, but then said "Please, princess Luna, tell us what is happening."
To wich Luna responded:

"These bottles are filled with a beverage made with almost eighty percent alchohol and were illegal at the time it was made, making the day not able to see it. Only in the night, this 'Moonshine' was delivered."

"How come I have never read about this age?" the lavender unicorn asked.

"That is because, this is made before ponies even existed in the way one knows." The princess of the night explained. "This is made in the days off the human reign over this entire planet. This is made by a human named Jesse Duke. And this piece of metal was owned by his relatives: Bo Duke and Luke Duke. These humans were tasked with delivering moonshine thoughout the land of Hazzard County."

"Ah find it hard ta believe somthing could still be drunk after such a long time." Applejack said, waving her hoof at the wreck.

"That is because of the high percentage alchohol in the drink, Applejack." twilight said matter-of-factly.

"Then again, how could such a thing move without somethin' ta pull it?"

"We have yet to discover that." Luna said. "But the vehicle is way to old to examine its true purpose."

"Lets just have a look at the thing and maybe we can find something." Twilight was already trotting over to the orange piece of scrap.

"Look, by clearing some dirt, I have found some lettering." the unicorn said, dusting off the panel above the fixed door.

"Can you read it?" The dark blue alicorn asked.

Twilight just shook her head.

"A good thing We can." Luna said while observing the letters.

" 'General Lee'. That's what it says."

"Ah guess that's the name of the thang." Luna and Twilight just looked at Applejack. "What? It's not like ya'll never gave a name to your favorite posession?"

Twilight and Luna just walked around the wreck, looking for clues for how it may work.

"Hey, I found a switch!" Twilight suddenly yelled.

"Flip it, so we can see what is does." Applejack said.

The lavender unicorn pulled the switch, so the hood popped up, reveiling the Generals Hemi engine, well, what was not eaten away by rust, anyway.

"Maybe this was what is supposed to make it move?" Twilight observed. "But it looks incomplete."

"Time must have taken its toll on the machine." Luna concluded. "But, perhaps an aging spell should do the trick?"

"It should work, if it was alive." Twilight said.

"Dear Twilight Sparkle, you have yet to learn the advanced version of the spell. A spell We know." Luna said, while preparing to fire it at the Charger.
When Luna fired it at the car, a low rumbling came from the engine, followed by the generals well known horn , scaring the three ponies and 'jump starting' Celestia.

"I didn't touch the cake, mother!" Celestia yelled.

"But you did touch the moonshine!" Luna glared daggers at her older sister. "Do you mind telling us: why?"

Celestia gained a guilty look on her face.

"I guess I have to tell you." she said. "Grandmother was obsessed with the legend of the General Lee, she told Luna and I stories about the human made machine. I became, just like her, obsessed with it. After a bit more than a thousand years of research, i found five possible locations for the wreck of this vehicle."

"Five barns of Sweet Apple Acres." Applejack suddenly realized.

"Yes. I swore i would find it. And when I did, I would take a sip of the moonshine it was carrying. In my opinion, the greatest invention of human kind, especially after tasting it." the sun goddess licked her lips and took another bottle from the trunk.

"This is for when we get home." She told her younger sister.

"After it knocked you out, you take more?" Twilight questioned her mentors decision.

Celestia just smiled and just took the entire crate of eighty percent alcohol.

"If you were a princess, you would understand, my dear student."

Right after saying this, Celestia spread her wings, motioned Luna to do the same, said goodbye and took of with one crate of moonshine, while Luna took the other.

Comments

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Luna's gonna have to keep an eye on her sister, a drunken Celestia won't do us any favors.

[theawesomeone23]

Oh this is awesome
And SuperPinkBrony12: Exactly