Twilight made her way to Sweet Apple Acres as the sun was nearing the midpoint of its descent toward the horizon, giving an hour or two more of daylight. As she walked through the gate, she noticed that Big Mac was leaning against an apple tree watching the road. All around him lay the first leaves of fall to drift from the Everfree forest as the lightest of winds caused them to play along the ground. The apple trees still had most of their leaves, but it wouldn't be long before they to became barren. When Twilight drew close to Big Mac the stallion stood, a smile plain on his face.
“Hello Big Mac, I see you've been waiting for me.” Twilight said.
“Eeyup.”
“Back to this again? You don’t have to hold back your words on my account.”
“Sorry Miss. Sparkle, I…”
“Twilight.” She corrected. Big Mac caught his error and blushed a little.
“I ain’t much good with words.”
“Don’t worry, I don’t mind. So what are we going to do today?” Twilight was incredibly anxious to know not only because she didn’t have the faintest idea what one did for fun on a farm, but also because she wanted to see if Big Mac had planned, or rather wanted this to be, a romantic outing. Based on what he did Twilight would know if…well just if. Big Mac shyly looked away from Twilight before responding to her question.
“Walk mostly, I’ve got a spot picked out I want you to see. But what we do after that all depends on Applejack and your own plans.”
“I’m free till the library opens tomorrow, Spike can handle the odd night reader if he has to but I don’t know how long I’m going to want to stay.”
“Eeyup.” Big Mac’s ears fell back while his blush intensified. “We best get walking then, it’s not to far from here but if you decide you need to leave soon I want you to see this before you go.” Big Mac turned and started walking into the rows of trees checking to be sure Twilight was following.
Big Mac walked much slower then his usual pace but Twilight still found it hard to keep up with him. The stallion’s strong legs speedily carried his large frame while Twilight’s spindly limbs needed to manage a brisk trot to match him. Twilight wanted to talk, but between Big Mac’s nervous behavior and Twilight concentrating on not falling behind the journey was doomed to silence. All of the sudden Big Mac stopped just behind a small hill and Twilight turned to him, slightly short of breath.
“Are we here? And for the record if that was your idea of not to far I’d hate to walk a long way with you.” Twilight meant that as a joke but Big Mac’s blush returned even deeper when she said that.
“Just over this hill.” Big Mac said. Twilight let Big Mac lead the way up the gentle slope, all the while she became aware of a small noise that grew louder as they climbed. When the two reached the top of the hill, Twilight could see a slow moving stream in the distance. The water curved around the border of the Everfree forest creating a kind of natural line separating the farm from the dark trees on the opposite bank.
“Big Mac, I didn’t know you had a stream on the farm.” Twilight said as she observed the winding path of the water.
“Actually, that’s only part one of what I wanted to show you.” Big Mac sat down on the grass and looked up into the sky, when Twilight followed his gaze she saw the sun just barely dipping behind the Everfree forest. “We still have a few minutes, and I’m afraid I don’t have anything for us to do until, well I don’t want to give away the surprise.” Twilight sat next to Big Mac.
“Well we could pick up where we left off yesterday.” Twilight said. “Do you remember what we were talking about?”
“Nope.” Big Mac wasn't blushing anymore, but his ears stayed firmly glued to the side of his head.
“You don’t have to be nervous Big Mac.” Twilight said, starting to get a little curious as to just what Big Mac was waiting to show her.
“Nervous, who’s nervous?”
“Big Mac I can tell you’re worried over something, look at your ears.” Big Mac gave Twilight a confused look. “There pulled back, that means you’re either sad or nervous, and I don’t see any tears.”
“Alright, I’m a little worried, I’m not very good with words and we talked about books all yesterday. I don’t want you to think I’m a one trick pony.” Twilight smiled.
“I don’t know if you noticed, but I am Ponyville’s resident librarian. Talking about books all the time doesn't bother me.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Then what did you mean?” Big Mac turned to Twilight, searching for the right words.
“I don’t talk much with mares. Outside of whoever visits the farm, errands, and ponies I meat on holidays I rarely see anypony. I don’t get much practice in small talk because of this. I don’t mind talking as much as most ponies think but I need something to go off of, and time to collect a response.” Twilight barely heard a thing Big Mac said, her focus was drawn to the look Big Mac was giving her, and the deep green of his eyes.
“You did fine yesterday.” Twilight said, shifting her gaze back to the stream in an attempt to avoid stumbling over her words under Big Mac’s gaze.
“Yesterday you asked questions, and I had a story to tell. Not to mention I didn’t know what I was getting into.”
“Getting into?” Twilight said confused, Big Mac froze.
“Eeyup.” He said, turning away from Twilight.
“What exactly do you mean by that?” Big Mac didn’t say anything. “Big Mac?” Twilight looked over at him and saw he was staring at the ground.
“I’m not much good with words.”
“I, I’m afraid I don’t understand.” Twilight said. Big Mac once again looked at her and Twilight found herself unable to turn away. Big Mac had changed from nervous to terrified, his form appearing impossibly small.
“You’re a very pretty mare Miss. Sparkle.” Big Mac looked like a colt caught with his hoof in the cookie jar. Twilight couldn’t find anything to say, so after a short pause Big Mac continued. “When you moved here from Canterlot I saw you arrive. A fancy unicorn that would never take a second glance at a farm pony like me. When I found out you were Celestia’s apprentice and the Element of Magic, I knew I had no chance. I don’t know if your hanging out with me cause of what happened with the cart or what I did when you came to help collect the fallen apples or what. But I always thought you where very pretty, and I don’t know how this is coming off to you but…”
Before Big Mac could finish, Twilight saw a multicolored flash of bright light wash across his face. Big Mac must have noticed it to because he turned back toward the stream. Twilight turned her head and was greeted by a wave of light radiating off of the water. The Everfree forest was somehow catching the light of the setting sun and directing it to the water to create a kind of rainbow aura that danced around the clearing. The movements of the current causing the light to almost dance. Twilight had never seen anything like it.
“It’s beautiful.” She said, finally finding her voice.
“Eeyup.” Big Mac said. The two ponies sat together as the sun set, watching the light become bolder. Colors shot into the air floating in front of Twilight, when she reached out to touch them they licked at her hoof, playing off it with a soothing energy. All around the clearing the tress turned into disco balls, hubs for the lights playful nature. It was almost like a well choreographed show, limited only by what it could touch.
Twilight couldn’t stop herself from smiling; she laughed like a school filly as the light played across her body. Then all of a sudden it started to change. The diversity of color slowly became less and less varied, until the only shade left was a rich blue. The light almost pulled on the scenery around it as it gracefully slipped away from her back toward the water. The dance was much more subdued and elegant now, and Twilight found herself admiring a whole new kind of beauty.
When all that was left was the color over the water, the light began to rise into the air. It grew thinner and taller with each passing moment, until Twilight had to crane her neck to see if it was still rising. When it appeared that the light was too thin to support itself anymore, it began to change again. This time the blue turned to a bright and intense red, causing the sun to burn even brighter on the horizon as it sank. Then all at once, the great wall came crashing down. It flicked in and out of existence as the fiery line collapsed onto the water at such a speed, Twilight could swear she heard a splash.
Thinking the show was over; she opened her mouth to speak only to be met with a great explosion of yellow that washed around everything in sight. Twilight watched as it absorbed her and Big Mac, and quickly disappeared behind them, leaving only a lingering glimmer on the waters surface, that thrashed and wiggled wildly before quietly evaporating into the darkness of the Everfree.
“That was amazing!” Twilight said, a huge grin on her face. “How-”
“I don’t know exactly why.” Big Mac interrupted. “The Everfree is a strange place full of odd happenings. Pa took to calling it “the Enchanted Everfree” supposedly after seeing just this. It’s the only thing that keeps me from expanding the farm further out. Twilight sat still for a moment thinking about this. She looked over at the stallion beside her and saw a smile as wide as hers gracing his lips.
“What were you going to say before?” Twilight asked, remembering how he was interrupted by the show. Big Mac’s ears perked and the smile slowly became his usual stern expression.
“Nothi’n.” Big Mac didn’t turn to her when he spoke, still watching the stream.
“It wasn’t nothing,” Twilight spoke gently, this was definitely the most romantic place any colt had taken her. It was almost like a scene from a romance novel, the way Big Mac sat starring at the water as she looked up at him with only the dim light of the setting sun to illuminate his face. She didn’t quiet know how she felt about Big Mac yet but somehow this small secret intrigued her to no end in a way she couldn’t explain.
“I know what the answers going to be so there’s no point in asking the question.”
“It’s impossible to know if you don’t ask.”
“I disagree.”
“Well you can disagree all you want, the fact remains you’re not telling me something and I want to know what it is.” Twilight raised her voice a bit, but it was still very soft compared to how she normally spoke. Big Mac said nothing for a very long time. Allowing the sun to time to start collecting its rays from the opposite horizon and usher in the first signs of night. Big Mac once again let his ears slick back as he transferred his gaze to Twilight for a short instance and then to the ground in front of him
“I wanted to know if you would be my special somepony. I didn’t think of it as such at the time but yesterday was like our first date, or not if you don’t want to think of it like that. I never thought of actually asking you this until yesterday but the way you talked and got me talking, nopony else has ever done that. So there it is, I might not be much but I like you a lot Miss. Sparkle.”
Twilight took a second to think it over, she didn’t want to wait to long for fear of dashing Big Mac’s hopes, but she needed time to mull over her answer. Big Mac was no small catch, of Ponyville’s eligible stallions he was very easily in the top three. No mare would say he was anything less then the most well built of the bunch and Twilight knew first hoof he was easily as intelligent, if not as book smart as her.
“Big Mac…” Twilight said in a nervous tone matching her companion’s expression. “I’d love to say yes to you, but-”
“But your not attracted to me in that way, you’d prefer a unicorn like yourself instead of a farm pony like me, I understand.”
“BUT,” Twilight continued. “It’s not up to me.” Big Mac turned to her with a confused look. “As Element of Magic, I need to have a good relationship with the other elements. Dating one of my best friends brothers can be a major source of tension.” Big Mac turned away again and looked at his hooves. “Which is why I’m going to need to ask Applejack if it’s ok first.” Big Mac sat bolt upright, his eyes widened as his ears perked on top of his head as he turned back to Twilight again.
“Miss. Sparkle-”
“Twilight.”
“What are you say’n”
“I’m saying I’d love to be your special somepony, as long as Applejack approves.” Big Mac sat there beside Twilight, the gears visibly turning in his head. Giant green eyes like jewels sparkling in the gathering night that Twilight found herself lost in.
“Applejack should be at the farmhouse still, she has someplace to go tonight so…do you…would…”
“Show me the way.” Twilight said, standing.
* * *
Twilight and Big Mac made slow progress through the gathering night. The Apple trees all looked the same without apples hanging off them and Twilight found she was once again having trouble keeping up with Big Mac. The stallion had almost bolted down the hill when Twilight asked to be taken to Applejack, barely slowing when Twilight had called out to him from behind.
Even if you ignored there pace, the huge expanse of the orchard and darkening sky made it no easy feat to reach there destination making it was nearly ten minutes later when they finally arrived. Big Mac opened the door and called quietly into the house.
“Hello… anypony here?” When there was no answer he called again, louder this time. “Hello!”
“What are y’all try’n to do wake the whole house?” Applejack said as she came down from upstairs. “I just put down Applebloom and Granny Smith, if they get up again I’m not going to have time to deal with it before I leave.”
“Don’t worry sis, this won’t take long, Twilight just needs to ask you somethi’n.” Big Mac said.
“Isn’t it a might late for visit’n? Ya know y’all are always welcome here but it’s not like ya to come by after sunset just to chat.” Twilight was about to speak, but Big Mac beat her to it.
“She just needs to ask you a question, then the two of us will figure out what to do.”
“Now hold up.” Applejack said. “If this involves both of y’all why can’t ya ask me yourself?”
“Well it’s not my place to ask this.”
“What ya mean its not your place. Big Mac I don’t got a lot of time so you best ask this question.” Big Mac turned to Twilight whom had stood patiently in the door during this exchange.
“Mind if we take this to the other room Applejack?” Twilight walked through a door leading to the kitchen and Applejack followed, leaving Big Mac alone in the mane room of the house. Closing the door behind her Applejack turned to face her friend.
“Now what’s all this about sugar cube, I need to be heading out.” Twilight had been practicing what she was going to say the whole walk over, nothing she could conger up made it any less awkward, but being blunt seemed wrong somehow.
“Has Big Mac ever told you about a pony he had his eye on?” Twilight said, deciding to dance around the elephant in the room for just a moment as she worked up the courage to ask Applejack what she needed to.
“Once or twice I heard mention of a pretty filly. He’s not to big on talk’n so that’s all I got.”
“Do you know who specifically he meant?”
“Most recently there was that incident with Applebloom’s schoolteacher but I didn’t think that would go anywhere, is there somepony else?” Twilight bit her bottom lip as her ears slicked back.
“Yes, there is.”
“Well alright, if he’s gotten the courage to tell ya that means it must be for real this time. Who’s the lucky mare? What’s she like?” Twilight shifted her weight from hoof to hoof, this was going to be a little harder then she thought. When it was just Big Mac and her on the hill she found it surprisingly easy to talk about this, but now things were suddenly a thousand times more difficult to say.
“It’s somepony you know very well.”
“Ya say that like ya scared to tell me, it’s not a less then desirable type is it?” Then a frightened look came over Applejacks face. “Celestia don’t tell me he’s fallen for a stallion, Granny just couldn’t take that blow.”
“No nothing like that.” Twilight said, “It’s just somepony you’d be surprised to hear.”
“Well who would that be?”
“Applejack how would you feel about Big Mac dating one of the Elements of Harmony?” Twilight wanted so badly to just tell her friend what was going on now, but she just couldn’t bring herself to do it yet.
“Well to be honest Twilight I never thought about it. I guess it would depend on which one your talk’n bout. It’s definitely not me so that only leaves five candidates. Pinkies to loud for him and Rainbow…well that girl needs a pony that can fly with her so unless he grows a pair of wings that’s not the one. That only leaves Fluttershy and Rarity and yourself. Which one is it, because I don’t know how well I’d take to hearing he has his heart set on Rarity.” Twilight tried hard to keep herself from blushing as she closed her eyes momentarily.
“Applejack, Big Mac asked me to be his special somepony today and we wanted to know if you would be alright with us starting a relationship together.” Opening her eyes Twilight saw that Applejack was looking at her with an expression that betrayed no emotion. After a short pause that Twilight thought would last forever, she spoke.
“Twilight it’s none of my business what Big Mac does with his love life. If the two of ya want to start maki’n goo-goo eyes at each other then go right ahead.” Twilight let out a sigh of relief. “I wouldn’t be any kind of friend if I didn’t tell ya though he’s no easy stallion to do that with. Big Mac’s a soft gentle sort and needs a lot of compassion, if you’re going to get into this ya best be ready to do a lot of hard work. Do ya really want to be with him sugar cube?”
Twilight had asked herself that several times over the last day or so. She didn’t actually have an answer prepared for it. Looking into the eyes of her friend she thought about how Big Mac had looked after showing her the lights, how his green eyes had looked back at her. He may not be what she had always though of as the stallion she would fall for, but she really did feel something for him.
“Yes, I do.”
“Then I wish y’all the best of luck. Now I have to get going so feel free to stay as long as ya want. I don’t know what you two plan to do tonight but I won’t be back till after sun rise so just be out’a here by then.”
“Wait, you don’t think that we-”
“Ah don’t judge.” Applejack said as she walked back into the main room of the farmhouse and out the door followed by Twilight who blushed horribly as she approached where Big Mac stood. The stallion didn’t know how to take this and rushed over to her.
“What did she say, are we going to…well…” Big Mac was at a loss for words, no surprises there. Twilight looked up at him, his eyes pleading her to say what he wanted to hear. The blush left her cheeks and Twilight found herself surprisingly calm under his gaze. The big green orbs in his eyes relaxing her and making her just bold enough for a more creative response. Leaning in, she gave him a small peck on the cheek. Big Mac was a little surprised and jumped back before Twilight pulled away.
“You know if we’re going to have a proper relationship, you need to get used to me doing that.” Twilight said giving as sweet a smile as she could manage as she watched Big Macs cheeks light up.
“So, we’re…are we, together now.” He asked. Twilight nodded. “Well… in light of that, I guess I could walk ya home but it’s getting late and we would have to pass pretty close to the Everfree so if ya don’t think it’s to forward would you consider, maybe spending the night, here?”
“I’d love to, where exactly will I be sleeping?”
“Well you can take my bed, I’m not afraid to sleep on the couch, I’ve done it more then once after a long day in the fields.” Twilight giggled at that thought.
“Big Mac I can’t take your bed and leave you with nowhere to go. I guess I’m going to have to stay up tonight."
“If you do then I’ll have to stay up with you. Keep you company and all.” The unicorn blushed again as she heard that generous offer.
“That would be nice.”
Good chapter ^_^
I only caught one spelling error: "ponies I meat on holidays "
erm.....meet? hehe.
Heck, if people catch errors, that means they're giving the fic the attention it deserves!
Really love your story, very cute and well paced.
Also I noticed a minor error:
|Big Mac sat starring at the water
instead of "staring", other than that it was spotless as far as I could tell.
1897757
You know that wasn't exactly what i was talking about but I really like that way of looking at it, i'm going to copy paste that idea.
1897767
I'm actually very glad to hear you say that (read that you typed that if you would prefer) as I labored profusely to get the pacing just right on this. I really don't like stories where the two characters meet and just fall in love on the spot, especially when one character confesses they love the other one after the first date/kiss or whatever, I really wanted this relationship to appear natural and plausible for real people (or ponies if you would prefer). Not only that though, but i wanted the emotions of the scenes, specifically when the couple is on the hill and when Twilight is talking to Applejack to carry an emotional tone that I was really afraid would be lost if I rushed through or drug it out to long. I don't know how much of this is me rambling and how much you actually got out of it but you took a huge load off my mind by saying that, so thank you.
1897772
No joke, I actually went through chapter three looking for a scene I though i had mistakenly copied from chapter two before I noticed your comment wasn't there and must have been about chapter two.
They're
Mrs. and Ms. have a period, but Miss does not.
Capitalize the T in "The Enchanted..." and add a close quote at the end of Mac's dialogue.
I believe it should be "Nothin'"
Then in the authors note...
I'm, Their.
Capital I, there should be a space between ... and wait.
Trust me, most of these errors are very small and went unnoticed during my first read-through, but because there's a contest going on...
Like everybody else has said, love the story, good pacing, and not many errors.
1897867
*pulling lightly on the neck of his shirt* Oh... that actually got someone interested, well... shoot... * to himself* I suppose there's no harm in letting people revise me if they want to, and at the very least it will encourage commenting. Suddenly this seems like a horrible idea, but really what is this hurting?
I guess if enough people participated I could figure out something to give the winner. i'd have to think on it for awhile but I don't see how this could go wrong... so sure, why not. If enough people show interest on this page i'll draw up some rules and put them in a blog post.
1897898
Me mentioning the contest was just a joke, I actually found most of those errors before I even read the Authors Note and decided to point them out. I don't really care if I win anything or not or if there's a contest or not.
1897910
Well then i guess it will be up to my other readers then. Thanks for the comment anyway, especially for the part concerning pacing as like I said on this page already I was really worried I wouldn't get that right.
1897861 Another fantastic chapter! I noticed the spelling errors too, but the other commenters have already pointed them out so I'll just tell you I really like this story.
1897947
You know I had forgotten the joys of repeat commenters with all the one shots i've done lately and the huge amount of time midterms took over my existence. Thanks for the compliment.
1897964 Welcome
I've noticed now in two separate chapters you use the word "conger"... the correct word is "conjure".
1898531
I suppose I should be apologizing for misspelling the same word in an obvious way twice, but honestly all i'm thinking about is why my spell check thinks conger is a word, and if it really is a word what does it mean, excuse me while i take a quick trip to Google.
1898531
apparently conger is a genus of eels... you learn something new every day.
It misses an '' on the end i think. I'm sorry if i'm wrong, only trying to help. Also i'm not English and don't know that much about writing...
1898967
No you're most certainly right about that. I may be a decent writer but i'm not very good at the fine points. You'll find a plethora of spelling errors in my pieces if you look. Thanks for pointing it out.
1899010
Ok, glad that i could help.
1898559 Yeah, I Googled it after my initial response... Would've told ya then, but had to get back to work. Anyways, nice story and good luck.
1899427
Thanks, you to.
This story is very cute. You managed to catch both character's awkwardness around each other very well.
1903957
Thank you, i'm glad people are picking up on the little details like that instead of just gushing on the more romantic scenes.
1904221
In my mind the awkwardness just adds to the romance. It makes the story more realistic than the classic "OMG I LIKE YOU" "I like you 2 let's make out." they deeeed.
1904900
That's exactly the way I feel about it. The more human the characters feel the more touching and realistic the romantic sections become because you can identify more with who they are. It's not as interesting when it's a perfect romance that has everything fall into place because we never see that actually happen.
How rare to find a shipping story that isn't rushed. Big Mac already had feelings for Twilight so that speeds things up a bit but she didn't just fall head over heels which is refreshing. I'm also wondering who applejack's friend is if she's gonna be gone all night. Good read, looking forward to more. You've given Big Macintosh a bit more personality than the show does and made it plausible, (the farmer I know does a LOT of reading in the winter) without making him a superpony or a goofy, clumsy dork that's typical of the anime style writing I see a lot of here. I really hate those "guy is afraid of girls, dense and clumsy yet every girl wants him" tropes. While you did use a rescue to start everything off, at least it wasn't a life or death thing that put him in the hospital, another typical story hook that's overused.
Good read, looking forward to more.
1908864
You... how can I put this... you, are the perfect commenter. And I don't say that lightly. Everyone likes to get praise for there stories and the fans I have are all great and supportive and so many other things that I couldn't possibly ask for anything more from them but you, you've literally pointed out every single trick i've done in this work. Nobody has ever done that before. No teacher or friend or reader or fan or anybody. Reading your comment is like reading the essence of what I wanted to do in this work on paper, because you've pointed out everything that went through my mind while writing it. I'm almost speechless. I wanted Big Mac to be a plausible character and the romance to seem drawn out and natural. I used the rescue scene as a refresher just to show a random act of kindness instead of a big overblown gesture stories like this seem to think constitute the start of relationships. If you had just mentioned one of these things I would have commented on your perception and moved on but, somehow you've picked my brain through my work.
It is a comment like that, where you make the author think back over his own work and style of writing that makes pieces like this worth the effort a million times over. You've described my writing, in basically my words, to me. But that's not all you've done.
You mentioned how rescue scenes are typical story hooks, calling them overused, and it just so happens that the next chapter of this story is exactly that, my version of a rescue scene. The fist time I read that sentence, I got worried, because a flash of doubt ran through my mind that reminded me I WAS using an overused story point, I WAS going to post something that people have seen a million times. The second time I read that sentence, I got sad, what if people don't like it? What if I ruin this great story by plugging in an overused plot point? The third time I read it however, I got mad. I took it as an insult. "Overused?" I said to myself, "he thinks rescues are overused. He doesn't think I can pull this off does he? He came here and posted this comment about everything i've done to make this fic. great and challenged me in the last sentence, saying I can't possibly turn this overused idea into something fitting of posting! Well i'll show him!" And I told myself I would work, and scratch, and refine that scene until it was so good you would eat those words. And then i realized something, you've done something nobody else has ever done for the second time, you've inspired me to not only put out something that people will like, and contains all the ideas I had, and tell a story I want to be told, but do the best on it I can do, and make it perfect.
In one paragraph, you showed me myself, and motivated me beyond what was good enough into what is my best. THAT is the type of comment every writer wants to get and THAT is the comment you have given me. I don't know how to thank you, but you have helped me tremendously today.
Now if you excuse me, i'm going to go play Diablo 3 with my dad. Sleep, do the last bit of my winter homework, and then sit down and tear that next chapter apart until it's so good you'll be forced to come back and post another comment on how nothing is overused if put in the hands of a good author.
And I will read that comment, and I will thank you again.
So far, I'm greatly enjoying the flow and pace of this story. I'm more of a fan of slow paced myself.
Though, may I ask why you have Bic Mac always say "Miss. Sparkle?" I'm not sure over the reason, if there is one? I saw that in this chapter and also in previous ones.
1921818
i think its his acsent combined with how his pa taught him to treat a mare
2878894 Eeyup.
Who's the other two,
11009442
Caramel and Whooves I’m assuming