Everyone has read a million ship fics by now, and if you haven't you should because the ones that are done right are amazing. This is my take on one of my favorite ships, and really that's all you need to know.
Chapters (10)
Backburner
Joined 20th Jun, 2012 ·
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This should work out nicely, what with Overanalytical Twi and Reticent Mac being so obviously made for each other.
twilight you silly filly
That was interesting! Looking forward to how you're going to develop this!
if think she does have a reason nopony just say i will play so let me shot apples at sound speed aimed directly at your head
some little typos but i loved the story keep on
Another Backburner story? This is gonna be good!
Big Mac is a "hoarse"? No wonder he doesn't talk much, oi...
Really, don't trust your life on a spell checker, and try to get an editor for your story, please.
Though I wonder how the next chapter is going to begin:
"And so, Twilight decided never to talk to Big Macintosh again, and she banned him from the library completely, and she decided to see what other colts were worthy of her affections..."
Wow Twilight. Overreaction much? lolz
1868205
I actually do have an editor, but a series of events provented me from letting him see this chapter, if you want the actual reasone check my blog as I loath to type it twice, that would make a VERY interesting begining to the next chapter though.
1868198
You know I was deathly woried this story would bomb, but your coment has given me some hope, thank you twice.
1868472
It's the truth, I tell you, Backburner. You're a good author, as I learned when you suggested Journal to be for an example of a contest winner. You won't bomb if you like what you do, and have had a little reading and practice. You've done just that.
1868241 well he was trowing apples at high velocity aiming at her head without saying nothing, apples are not like snowballs they really hurt when it hits
Looking forward to future chapters! Tracking!
Twilight and Big Mac is probably my favorite pairing, and I think you kept them quite in character!
1869571
Well thank you, to be honest Big Mac is rather dificult to keep in character as the show kind of changes him through different episodes. In Applebuck seasone he talks to his sister without any problems, and in Hearts and Hooves Day he talks a huge amount under the influence of magic, so it's clear he dosn't stay silent because of some mental reasone, he just chooses not to talk. I had to work that in along with the romance i wanted to add and personal character quirks the show never gave us that I had to fill in. It was definetly more chalenging then i thought, but i'm glad to hear someone who must read a lot of these thinks i did a good job.
Good chapter! A few spelling/grammar errors (and a few walls-of-text) But overall quite interesting
That was too easy....
1871060
Eh, backstory can be like that. But if I just threw them together with nothing more then a few lines saying they now know each other the good parts wouldn't be nearly as good.
1871081
Not exactly sure if you mean you expect shenanigens, or you seriously think that was to easy.
What I mean is, that the plot line to force Twilight to see Mac again, AND forgive him, seemed a little too convenient. Why didn't she just ask Spike to take Apple Bloom home, if she didn't feel like talking to Mac? Or just teleport them home?
1871159
Good points, I don't think teleporting them home is a good option though, even though i'm sure Twilight could do it. To me that just seems out of character for her. I can't really explain why, it just does, the most obviouse options in certain situations arn't always the best one from a wrighten standpoint because the character needs to feel as alive as possible, while using magic could solve all of Twilights problems a million times quicker, taking the more complicated rout makes her seem more human (or if you would prefer more pony) then if i just made her do everything the easy way. Also, I just don't see Twilight as the sort that would just poof you from one place to another because she wants rid of you.
As for sending Spike to take her home, he couldn't keep the cmc under controle in his home turf of the library, how could he be expected to keep an eye on her while next to one of the most frightning places in ponyville?
You are a devil, Sr Edgar Allen Pony, i being think for a ponified name for him a long time
now i need to think a ponified name for Luis Vaz De Camoes
also just keep in mind overprotective Applejack is the best Applejack
MOOOOOOOORE please
1871234
Luckaly the next chapter is already completed, but unfortunetly I can't post it until my laptop comes back from the shop, turns out i'm not even going to have it fixed because it would actually cost less to just replace the darn thing. but as soon as I get it back i'll post the next instalment
1871266 Nice
my computer also had a lot of repairs so i now what you are feeling
i don't have much to say, but well done. excellent chapter
1871682
(overconfident response) Speachless eh, i ecspected as much.
(Grateful answer) Thanks
(Fluttershy answer) Well...at least you commented something, and thats important.
Pick your favorite
Oooo, a choice. obviously overconfident response is best considering the hipster applejack you've got workin
very good read
1871751
Well thank you
I'm really liking this one, the use of there instead of their a few places bothered me a bit, but that's just me beeing picky, good job on this one.
1872825
Thank you, i'm not very good at the finer points of grammar but i'm glad it wasn't to bad so far.
Solid story though one line irked me somewhat.
"To make matters worse my Pa was the youngest child so I got nieces old enough to be my sisters."
Do you mean cousins? Or do you mean Big mac's father has nieces old enough to be his sisters? Because if Pa's sisters had daughter wouldn't they be Big Macs cousins?
Other than that its a fine story, one I will definitely continue reading.
1873301
No I mean exactly what i said there, Big Mac's father has sisters, these sisters grew up and had kids, who grew up and had kids, who are now around Big Mac's age. Big Mac's cousins in other words are old enough to be his parents. I've got a similer situation in my own family.
My father has three sisters and two brothers. When he was born his oldest sister was 19 and a year off from being engaged for the first of three times, she has six kids, one of which is in his mid twenties and curently engaged to a woman whos 29, making her old enough to be my mother. Then theres my neices from my grandfathers family, you see my grandfather has seven siblings. One of which is twice his age (or would be if they were still alive) ive got relatives from him that are around 15 making them old enough to be my sisters despite the fact im two generations behind.
Hope that cleared your question up.
1875678v
Yep. Though they'd be Big Mac's Cousins then not neices as that would be the offspring of Aj or Applebloom.
Thats why the line confused me as it calls his cousins his 'nieces'.
1875686
Oh i see now, looks like you're right on that one.
My family has developed some nasty habits due to it's size, we call everybody by there age group since a lot of us have similer names to one another and it can really get confusing pinpointing who we are based upon our relatives. for instance i'm called Uncle by everybody because i'm a considerable amount older then the youngest members there but not quite old enough to be a father. I'll just assume Big Mac has the same problem as I do when thinking about his relatives and say he ment what I said earlier despite the mislable.
1871138 I like this story very much, and can't wait for more. I love me some TwiMac!
1876154
Then your taste in shipping is just as good as your taste in bowties.
1876345 Thanks! A couple of my fan fics take place in what I call The TwiMacVerse. A verse where Twilight and Mac's relationship has had an effect on other ponies
1876374
Then it seems you and I also share a similer writer's quirk. I have a few different universes i play around with in my fics, such as the relm my fics Journal and The Doctor fall into, both taking place in the time of the clans before Discords reighn. You have earned yourself a favorable place with me in a very short time sir, I look forward to your comments on the next few chapters of this story, mayhaps we shall find something else we have in common.
1877890 Very cool. I'm working on a story involving Doctor Whooves now, but it's more the character of Time Turner and he's not a time traveling alien. But it still involves him and Derpy.
Good chapter ^_^
I only caught one spelling error: "ponies I meat on holidays "
hehe.
erm.....meet?
Heck, if people catch errors, that means they're giving the fic the attention it deserves!
Really love your story, very cute and well paced.
Also I noticed a minor error:
|Big Mac sat starring at the water
instead of "staring", other than that it was spotless as far as I could tell.
?
Other than that, I didn't notice anything and it was very good, but I just wanted to point it out.
1897757
You know that wasn't exactly what i was talking about but I really like that way of looking at it, i'm going to copy paste that idea.
1897767
I'm actually very glad to hear you say that (read that you typed that if you would prefer) as I labored profusely to get the pacing just right on this. I really don't like stories where the two characters meet and just fall in love on the spot, especially when one character confesses they love the other one after the first date/kiss or whatever, I really wanted this relationship to appear natural and plausible for real people (or ponies if you would prefer). Not only that though, but i wanted the emotions of the scenes, specifically when the couple is on the hill and when Twilight is talking to Applejack to carry an emotional tone that I was really afraid would be lost if I rushed through or drug it out to long. I don't know how much of this is me rambling and how much you actually got out of it but you took a huge load off my mind by saying that, so thank you.
1897772
No joke, I actually went through chapter three looking for a scene I though i had mistakenly copied from chapter two before I noticed your comment wasn't there and must have been about chapter two.
They're
Mrs. and Ms. have a period, but Miss does not.
Capitalize the T in "The Enchanted..." and add a close quote at the end of Mac's dialogue.
I believe it should be "Nothin'"
Then in the authors note...
I'm, Their.
Capital I, there should be a space between ... and wait.
Trust me, most of these errors are very small and went unnoticed during my first read-through, but because there's a contest going on...
Like everybody else has said, love the story, good pacing, and not many errors.
1897867
*pulling lightly on the neck of his shirt* Oh... that actually got someone interested, well... shoot... * to himself* I suppose there's no harm in letting people revise me if they want to, and at the very least it will encourage commenting. Suddenly this seems like a horrible idea, but really what is this hurting?
I guess if enough people participated I could figure out something to give the winner. i'd have to think on it for awhile but I don't see how this could go wrong... so sure, why not. If enough people show interest on this page i'll draw up some rules and put them in a blog post.
1897898
Me mentioning the contest was just a joke, I actually found most of those errors before I even read the Authors Note and decided to point them out. I don't really care if I win anything or not or if there's a contest or not.
1897910
Well then i guess it will be up to my other readers then. Thanks for the comment anyway, especially for the part concerning pacing as like I said on this page already I was really worried I wouldn't get that right.
1897861 Another fantastic chapter! I noticed the spelling errors too, but the other commenters have already pointed them out so I'll just tell you I really like this story.
1897947
You know I had forgotten the joys of repeat commenters with all the one shots i've done lately and the huge amount of time midterms took over my existence. Thanks for the compliment.
1897964 Welcome
I've noticed now in two separate chapters you use the word "conger"... the correct word is "conjure".
1898531
I suppose I should be apologizing for misspelling the same word in an obvious way twice, but honestly all i'm thinking about is why my spell check thinks conger is a word, and if it really is a word what does it mean, excuse me while i take a quick trip to Google.
1898531
apparently conger is a genus of eels... you learn something new every day.
It misses an '' on the end i think. I'm sorry if i'm wrong, only trying to help. Also i'm not English and don't know that much about writing...