Clipped Wings

by Tavi n Scratch

Voices

I put on the saddlebag that I had received for my last birthday; it was a gift from her. The small article made me feel just a little bit less separated from the love of my life. Inside the bag I place two books, both of which she had left to me; one was her journal, the other was wrapped and I was unsure of what it was. Kinda funny, most mares Twilight’s age never even think about writing a will, she always made sure that she was prepared... for anything. I feel like I should be crying, but I work past it.

I head into the kitchen and prepare a couple sandwiches. I wince once I realize that I only need lunch for one and I toss one of the sandwiches in the trash. I wrap the other up and place it in the bag. Once I’m ready I head for the front door. I open it up about halfway, but something stops me from walking out. I turn back and look over the library, the early morning light seeps in through various windows. I feel obligated to not leave, to stay here forever, something at the back of my mind tried to pull me back into the cold shadows of the solitary library. I almost heed the call.

I turn back to the door with vigor; I will not go back to the darkness. It’s already taken up too much of my existence. I can’t waste away my life as a shell of myself. I need to get back out there. I step outside and close the door behind me. The sun is pleasantly warm as I head off towards the outskirts of Ponyville to certain lavender meadow.

~~~

The shade of the tree is comfortably cool. I ignore the contents of the bag and just enjoy lying in the shadows; I don’t want to burden my mind with any reading. The day is beautiful, the kind of day I’d normally spend flying. I cringe as the thought crosses my mind, how long has it been since I’ve actually experienced flight. Far too long is the only answer I can think of. My eyes begin to water, but I’m too tense to actually cry. I stand up, unsure of what I plan to do. I coil up and try to outstretch my wings. No response. My wings remain frozen to my side. I slouch from a coiled position down to the ground; my resolve has crumbled. Tears flow more fiercely than before. I’m a let-down, a disappointment, a failure. I’m weak and sad.

I am broken.

Now I’m sobbing, my body shakes violently as I curl up, pitying myself and my life, all the bad things that have ever happened to me. I cry myself to sleep; why is it that I always end up sleeping underneath this tree?

~~~

This dream is different, I open my eyes to see a pure blackness that went on forever. From the darkness came the voice of Twilight, “Don’t speak, just listen,” I close my mouth and remain silent. She begins to speak once more.

“We all must experience sadness in our lives. We all fall in love. We all lose the ones close to us. It is not our hardships that make us who we are, that make us unique, it is how we respond to life’s tribulations. We can ignore them and try to forget them or we can remember them and learn from our mistakes. You need to open up; don’t just lock out the world around you. If I can say one thing then it is this:

“Do not waste your trials. I love you Dash, and I’ll talk to you later.”

Before I can utter a word of response, my eyes open and are instantly assaulted by sunshine. Twi always had the best advice so I’ll try to take this one to heart.

Don’t waste my trials.

~~~

I stand up and try to shake the grogginess out of my body, I feel stiff and exhausted. My mind buzzes about, contemplating the dream. I’m certain it was Twilight, but was it just a dream or was she really talking to me from... well, wherever she is? It hurts my head to think about it. I start to feel a sting starting from behind my eyes and my heart starts pounding. I collapse once more, but this time due to pain.

Then I remember something. It was something Twi would tell me if I ever got discouraged: Nothing can last forever, both good and bad, so don’t waste your time moping around. Like I said, she always had the best advice.

I can’t believe I hadn’t remembered that earlier, it would have helped so much. I guess my mind was trying to block out some memories of her. As soon as I met with this realization I felt an extreme calm. The pain in my head settled down and my heart rate slows to a regular pace. I need to take control again, both now and forever.

I slowly stand and retrieve the saddlebag. I take both books out and place them on the ground. I lie down once more and pick up the journal, opening it to it’s most recent entry.

August 7th

I have a massive headache and I’ve decided to remain in bed until it subsides. Despite my physical pain I am as happy as can be, the wedding is one week from today and I just cannot wait. I’ve never felt such joy and such love. Next week will be the greatest week of my life.

I cringe and slam the book shut. I crumple in on myself, trying hard to not cry. Fate is cruel; what was meant to be her greatest week ever turned out to be her last.

Twilight died on the fourteenth of August.

~~~

I put the journal away. If I kept reading then I’d be unable to keep my resolve. I grab the mysterious book wrapped in a simple cloth. I remove the cover and read the title: The Basics of Aerodynamics and Flight. My entire body shudders from the pure nostalgia. To think how much this book started, the memories come flooding back.

It was nearly two years ago, at a point I hadn’t realized my feelings for Twilight. The Best Young Flyers competition was just around the corner and I knew my only hope of winning was if I could pull off a sonic rainboom. I was practicing for hours on end, but I was not getting any closer to pulling it off. At one point I remembered Twilight telling me about a book that could help me get even faster, so I went off to the library.

When I walked in Twilight was arranging the bookshelves, again. She always seemed to be doing that. When I cleared my throat, she jumped and lost balance. She fell backwards off of the ladder, but I zoomed and caught her just in the nick of time. Then she looked up at me and our eyes met. There it was, the single spark that started it all.

I put her down gently on the floor, turning away before she could see that I was blushing. I asked her about the book and she retrieved it for me. I left the library without saying another word. The entire way home I was beating myself up about not saying anything else. I laid down and opened the book. The terminology was difficult and the concepts were deep. Frustrated, I plopped it down on my nightstand. Then an idea hit me; I could ask Twilight to help me with understanding it.

The next day I showed up to the library with the book. When I walked in she was still arranging books. However, this time she hears me walk in and greets me. She asked if there was anything I needed and I requested her help with the book. She took me back to a little study nook where she put the book down and told me to sit. Once I was settled she sat down close to me, very close. We sat like this and we pored over the books. It was wonderful.

Weeks passed and the competition was the next day. I was stressed the entire way to Cloudsdale. Although everything that Twilight had helped teach me helped a lot, I had still been unable to pull off the sonic rainboom. We reached the city of pegasi and rested for the night. The next morning I was greeted by a surprise; Twilight showed up with the rest of my friends. Fluttershy and I took them on a tour, but I was a bit preoccupied; my eyes kept making their way back to Twilight. She had gone through all the work just to make sure that she was here for me. It was almost too much to comprehend.

Before I knew it, the competition was about to begin. Nerves got the best of me, but it wasn’t because the Wonderbolts, it was because of her. Twilight worked hard to get here and I could not disappoint her. Once I head out I completely botch the first two obstacles; my only chance of redemption was the sonic rainboom. Before I could finish the set-up I heard a scream. Rarity was falling from the sky. Instinctively, I dove after her. I was picking up speed but I could tell it wasn’t enough. Then something gave me a boost and I faintly heard Twilight cheering me on.

With those little words of encouragement I doubled my speed. Suddenly a crack roared through the air, a beautiful rainbow trailed behind me. I caught Rarity and the Wonderbolts just in time. I returned to the stadium, after which the day blurred together. Finally, I returned to Ponyville about an hour after dusk. I headed back to the library to return the book. I approach Twilight, and then begins one moment I cherish more than any other.

“Thanks for letting me borrow the book.”

She smiled her amazing smile, “Well that’s kinda what libraries are for.”

“And thanks for being there; you have no idea what it meant to me.”

“Oh?” she turned to look at me and I took the opportunity. I kissed her.

When we broke off, I was gone before she could react. Yet somehow, it all worked out to the point of us being engaged.

I’m one lucky pegasus.

~~~

I close the book and put it back in the bag. It’s approaching dusk so I begin to head home. On my way I hear an all too familiar squeal. “Oh my gosh! Rainbow Dash! I haven’t seen you in forever!”

The little pegasus filly flies into view. That caught me off guard; Scootaloo flying. Then again, it’s been nearly seven months since I last saw her, so the idea of her flying wasn’t all that crazy. “Hey squirt, how’ve you been?”

The little filly is shaking with excitement. “I’m great; I learned to fly. How have you been? Where have you been? What have you been up to? Probably something really cool I bet. Oh, did I mention I can fly.”

“Whoa, calm down kid. When’d you learn to fly?”

“Last month. Miss Cheerilee invited some flight trainers to help out the pegasi in my class. I used some of the tips that one of them told me and now,” she takes off into the air to display her new skill. She flies in a couple circles and landed in front of me. “So where have you been?”

I freeze up a bit at the question. What can I possibly tell her, that her idol has been in a spiral of depression and became a recluse from society? That I can’t even fly anymore? I couldn’t say that, it would just crush her. “Oh, I’ve been working with the Wonderbolts on a new show for the past few months.” I say, trying to pull off a cocky smile.

“Oh, wow, you’re in the Wonderbolts? I guess you got over Twilight pretty fas-.” She falls silent as she realizes what she’s saying, but it’s too late. The words hit me like knives and I cringe. “Oh, I’m so sorry, I’ll just go.” She turns to fly off but I stop her.

“It’s okay squirt, it’s not your fault. You just forgot.” My eyes are beginning to overfill, but I just put on smile. “I guess I should probably tell you the truth. I’ve been stuck inside ever since Twilight died; I’ve been too sad to do anything, even fly.” I turned away so I didn’t have to see the look on her face, whether it be of shock or disgust or sadness. But then she did something I didn’t expect, she walked up to me and nuzzled my legs.

“I know what it’s like to not be able to fly. It’s okay, bad things happen to us all, even the great Rainbow Dash and it'll probably be hard to get over them, but we need to work through them.” I never would’ve expected such wise words from a filly this young, let alone Scootaloo.

"Where'd you hear something like that?"

She laughs a little bit, "From you, of course." She smiles up at me then turns around and flies off. “See ya later Rainbow Dash.”

Tears are flowing from my eyes, but not really of sadness. I guess I’m crying for the sake of crying. I just need to let it out. I‘ll be fine, I’ll be alright.

I’ve just clipped my wings is all, they’ll heal.

Comments

[mistyrocks5]

oh i am so sorry.

[Tavi n Scratch]

2055097 I try not to make a big deal of it, thank for your sympathy though

[LightningFlashCJ]

This was Superbly Written!! I was in tears throughout...
You're a considerably talented writer. Please continue on with this story-line.
All The Best to You,
Brony and Dashing Proud ,
Lightning Flash

[Uncr3at1ve]

I read this as soon as I saw it added to Twidash because something about it stood out to me, I was not disappointed. Thanks for letting me reconnect with some of my buried memories, those lost should be left to rest but still be remembered.

[Cynical]

Sorry, can't get into it.

Alright, your goal might have been to make it sound like the memories were blurring together, but when it gets to a point of disconnection... that's when you know something's wrong.

[-Key-]

I liked the story it was good, I personally think that writing it in first person helped.

However I felt it hard to really get into the story since it was written in present tense, I find that tends to make it harder to read and worse for me. But it was a great story so you get a like from me.

[Zimthepony]

OH THE FEELS!!!!!!!!!