So, we're finally starting to poke the romance tag with a ten-foot pole. Well done me! Sorry for the slow pace and short chapters, that's just how I write. As always, any and all constructive criticism is welcome, and probably needed.

I don't see any problems personally. I am not an author however and therefore do not know what is good or not.

Slow pace is just fine, allows you to build up some story. Just as long as you can chug these out often enough to make up for the short chapters, it's fine.

Short chapters usually equal frequent updates, so I like short chapters. So Dusk will be discovering that he likes stallions. I wonder how Spike will take that (other than rolling on the floor laughing his scales off.) I wonder if any of the stallions he meets will also be into stallions (it would be much of a clopfic if they weren't) or who?
I'll wait to see how else this will differ from the canon.

1812065 my update schedule is very erratic as in, there isn't one. I write whenever I have the time and then I nitpick until I think it's ok.

1812215 I suppose that gives you more content more often doesn't it? And for the differences in canon. You've already seen me touch on it with spike. Their relationship consists of constant teasing and a kind of mutual hatred/love that comes with being brothers. People will probably also be more frank with him because they think he has to be tough

1811566 glad you think it's passable!

What's an interrabang?

Also, good chapter.

1815962 an interrabang is the single most genius piece of punctuation ever made. It's a mix between a question mark and an exclamation mark. whoever created it must be made a national hero. And whoever got rid of it must rot in hell. sorry, i get emotional. This stuff is serious business

1816796 Ah, very well then. I foresee Dusk Shine becoming Ponyville's little slut, but then again, he's been locked in his studies all his life

1818817 HOW DID YOU KNO- I mean- no such thing will happen!

this is pretty good aside from spike being a little prick to dusk funny as hell though