I feel , but I this!

Thanks cynthash <3~.

Also, mfw I still get dislikes. I'm fine with getting dislikes, but can the dislikers at least tell me why they don't like it? It'd be really nice to know what I can improve on! (I've already improved it a lot owo)

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Sure, I can do that. And it's not that you're doing a story where there's a backlash against a same sex pairing - that's a potentially interesting story, and other authors have explored it before to various extents. And Luna knows, there's plenty of stories that could use a little more dramatic tension rather than absolutely every single pony being unwavering bastions of egalitarianism. But between there and here is a vast expanse of untaken middle roads.

It comes down to the the entire story just feeling... off. Partly because of of the language, partly because of the OOC nature of virtually every pony, RD included. Rarity is about the only one I can accept. Maybe Applejack, although I'm having a hard time reconciling her behavior with her presentation as basically sympathetic. And by "the entire story just feels off", I mean I keep expecting this story to have the (Alternate Universe) tag. It doesn't feel dark or sad, it just feels like... Bizzaro Equestria. Celestia's behavior is probably the worst, but Twilight's is no better. Even Rainbow Dash feels too mercurial and... odd.

The pacing is also part of it. For about the first half of the first chapter, everything was alright... a few grammar issues here and there, nothing a proof reader wouldn't fix. The characters were still acting fairly OOC, but whatever. But then out of nowhere it escalates to escaping a lynch mob armed with weapons. Then <poof>, we're in Canterlot... where Celestia is trying to have RD raped. Then a very brief amount of stuff happens, and <poof> we've got an underground resistance movement with half of the minor characters in the show it seems being members. Plus suddenly Pinkie Pie, who's OOC behavior in the first chapter was just about as unbelievable and OOC as Celestia's.

I dunno.

I'm not one to rag on a story I don't like, but for some reason this one bothers me more than most. It's not that there isn't a kernal of a usable story here, but... it needs a lot of work.

Don't give up. Heck, don't even give up on this story - it's not for me, but clearly it is for some people, and I'm just one person. Just giving you my thoughts. You did ask.

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I like it!Thank you so much!

Just a few explanitory stuff.

The part where Celestia is trying to have RD raped is actually a dream that she's having. She wakes up and is scared as hell and then Rarity comforts her. I should do more to like, make that more clear :3.

I'll work on studying the characters before involvement. Rarity is my most knowledgeable character, so I think that's why she's the one that's best in character.

Pinkie. . . yeah, lol, I didn't like her involvement in chapter 1, either, hence why the scene is just kind of skipped upon. It's mostly kind of just me trying to force the 3 vs. 3 in the mane 6. However, I just decided to screw it in later chapters and people will go where I please, so Pinkie is going to be better in character owo.

Pacing should be a thing that seems easy enough for me to work on, I just need to plan the story from major plotpoints I want to hit to moreso of an actual story.

Thank you so much for the advice, I'll definately work on it!~. I'll have to really look at Celestia, though. My goal with her was to represent the Christian God in many people's eyes, where they see him as "loving and caring" but she's actually incredibly judgemental and wants to destroy those who don't follow her law. Granted, I'll look at it and hopefully improve it within the next chapters owo.

Yay, thank you~.

So, the "Celestia is about to have Rainbow Dash raped" scene in chapter 4 was also a dream? I got that the one in the earlier chapter was, but not that one.

Ooh, I see owo. Yeah, that actually happened (Although it's not really rape. . . it's more of therapy, in her eyes.)

Also, I talked to my editor. She noticed the exact same things that were said earlier. . . and chose not to mention anything, lol owo.