CDFA
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Sexy.
TOO MUCH YELLING
and dialogue needs to go on its own lines.
1686622
I do that in the later chapters. I copied this first 6 chapters from my DeviantArt account, but I didn't really get to doing the edits people wanted me to do. Sorry about that :(.
Dialouge will be fixed by the end of today, by the way. But the dialogue gets easier to read in later chapters, if my mistakes in the previous chapters hasn't messed up the story for people.
those are the expressions of the mane 6
I
this idea! It's always a great thing to weave the real tragedy of ignorance into a good plot. 
Just one suggestion: got a transgender mare you could put in? It might be far out for some, but there are plenty of us tgirls that read up on MLP:FIM too!
Liked, fave'd, and watching!
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I intend to have one in there! However, it's a secret :). It'll be revealed next chapter, though!
>>CDFA
Thanks! And keep going! For teh bootyfull poniezzz! javascript:smilie('
');
I gave this a thumbs up for story concept because I like the idea of Rainbow struggling with losing friends over her orientation. However, there are many grammatical and punctuation errors that make this story hard on the eyes. Where capslock is used to show emotion like anger or Rarity's fear for Rainbowd exclaimation marks would serve. There are also no breaks between paragraphs or dialogue that make it difficult to figure out whats going on half the time. I would strongly recommend a pre-reader/editor and I would love to read this once the chapters get cleaned up. I really do like the concept and hope you will continue to write
That "Fuck..." said by Rainbow Dash had me laughing so hard
Thanks so much for the compliments, I'm glad you guys like the story idea!
As I've said before, later chapters fix the paragraph issue. The first few chapters will be fixed ASAP. I'll run a spellcheck/grammar check on the chapters too, thank you for catching that, Starswirls :3.
and I'm glad you laughed, GFP. Laughing is good :D.
Love it 1710920
UPDATE NOV 30 7:35 PM PST.
Chapters 1 and 2 fixed!
Looks good so far, if not a bit unusual and very strong language ;), However as said before, all that caps makes it hard to read.
The concept and plot are nice, but just about everyone except Rainbow Dash and Rarity feel OOC. I just can't picture Celestia making laws criminalizing homosexuality and forcing everyone to conform to such narrow-minded bigotry. The amount of swearing is also a bit of a turn off, in the future you may consider tuning the curse words down.
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I'll be sure to look at both of those owo. The only one that I can agree on without really reviewing the content is Pinkie Pie. I kind of did this because I wanted to keep the whole 3 vs 3 thing, but then I was talking with CDFPurple regarding the plot, and I changed her to a more in-character position in the story. I'll review the story and see if anything else feels OOC. I'll try to turn down the swearing, especially when it's unneccesary. For a lot of scenes, some might be neccesary, but I'll be wary of it :). Thanks for your comments!
I feel
, but I 
this! 
Thanks cynthash <3~.
Also, mfw I still get dislikes. I'm fine with getting dislikes, but can the dislikers at least tell me why they don't like it? It'd be really nice to know what I can improve on! (I've already improved it a lot owo)
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Sure, I can do that. And it's not that you're doing a story where there's a backlash against a same sex pairing - that's a potentially interesting story, and other authors have explored it before to various extents. And Luna knows, there's plenty of stories that could use a little more dramatic tension rather than absolutely every single pony being unwavering bastions of egalitarianism. But between there and here is a vast expanse of untaken middle roads.
It comes down to the the entire story just feeling... off. Partly because of of the language, partly because of the OOC nature of virtually every pony, RD included. Rarity is about the only one I can accept. Maybe Applejack, although I'm having a hard time reconciling her behavior with her presentation as basically sympathetic. And by "the entire story just feels off", I mean I keep expecting this story to have the (Alternate Universe) tag. It doesn't feel dark or sad, it just feels like... Bizzaro Equestria. Celestia's behavior is probably the worst, but Twilight's is no better. Even Rainbow Dash feels too mercurial and... odd.
The pacing is also part of it. For about the first half of the first chapter, everything was alright... a few grammar issues here and there, nothing a proof reader wouldn't fix. The characters were still acting fairly OOC, but whatever. But then out of nowhere it escalates to escaping a lynch mob armed with weapons. Then <poof>, we're in Canterlot... where Celestia is trying to have RD raped. Then a very brief amount of stuff happens, and <poof> we've got an underground resistance movement with half of the minor characters in the show it seems being members. Plus suddenly Pinkie Pie, who's OOC behavior in the first chapter was just about as unbelievable and OOC as Celestia's.
I dunno.
I'm not one to rag on a story I don't like, but for some reason this one bothers me more than most. It's not that there isn't a kernal of a usable story here, but... it needs a lot of work.
Don't give up. Heck, don't even give up on this story - it's not for me, but clearly it is for some people, and I'm just one person. Just giving you my thoughts. You did ask.
1787427
I like it!Thank you so much!
Just a few explanitory stuff.
The part where Celestia is trying to have RD raped is actually a dream that she's having. She wakes up and is scared as hell and then Rarity comforts her. I should do more to like, make that more clear :3.
I'll work on studying the characters before involvement. Rarity is my most knowledgeable character, so I think that's why she's the one that's best in character.
Pinkie. . . yeah, lol, I didn't like her involvement in chapter 1, either, hence why the scene is just kind of skipped upon. It's mostly kind of just me trying to force the 3 vs. 3 in the mane 6. However, I just decided to screw it in later chapters and people will go where I please, so Pinkie is going to be better in character owo.
Pacing should be a thing that seems easy enough for me to work on, I just need to plan the story from major plotpoints I want to hit to moreso of an actual story.
Thank you so much for the advice, I'll definately work on it!~. I'll have to really look at Celestia, though. My goal with her was to represent the Christian God in many people's eyes, where they see him as "loving and caring" but she's actually incredibly judgemental and wants to destroy those who don't follow her law. Granted, I'll look at it and hopefully improve it within the next chapters owo.
Yay, thank you~.
So, the "Celestia is about to have Rainbow Dash raped" scene in chapter 4 was also a dream? I got that the one in the earlier chapter was, but not that one.
Ooh, I see owo. Yeah, that actually happened (Although it's not really rape. . . it's more of therapy, in her eyes.)
Also, I talked to my editor. She noticed the exact same things that were said earlier. . . and chose not to mention anything, lol owo.
Chapter 9. Took longer than expected due to life stuff happening, but it's here.
I kind of took the "bizarro" compliment and employed it into Ponyville to give it that sort of "off" feeling. I'm not ignoring the criticism though.
Hopefully my editor stopped worrying about my feelings and her lack of mentioning any of the past criticisms means I improved.
Commentary is still much appreciated, and I thank you for taking the time to read this.
Funny chapter
U killed Fluttershy...:
I am so sad now 
My god...
Thanks for giving Equestria a dark side, really, I'm sick of Equestria always being so perfect. Some dark sides to it besides the Everfree can help keep it from being goddamn Mary-Sueland in fanfics. I'm favoriting it(I'm a sucker for well written incomplete stories, regardless of rating)
I'm pretty much laughing my ass off at all the rage the characters have. So much yelling with explicit threats remind me of Kuledud3 on YouTube. So... Who else knows him?
So... Luna has a cauwk?
( that, is another Kuledud3 reference)
My OC Cloud Nova is a bit of a pyro( bet Douchelestia has laws on that, too) and he would probably be part of Luna's resistance. Very helpful, given the fact he torched a whole den full of Timber Wolves. I tend to come up with his story on the fly. Might actually write his story soon.
I'm HIGHLY bugged by this. This is an AU fic dude LABEL IT, ELEMENTS OF HARMONY, they are bound. if the MANE 6 Are THAT Ooc WITHOUT just cause(Discord,magic, potion, lots of bad blood) than it's AU.
1911718
My reasoning for having them so apart and unconnected is to kind of make a statement about how religious ideals and moral beliefs can injure even the strongest of friendships and can break bonds that have been existant for years.
However, it's been a common complaint that this seems so out of character that it's AU quality, so I'll consider putting it in. I'm not sure how "just" of a cause my reasoning is, but it's what I've been basing the story off of, lol ouo.
Granted, it COULD be an Alternate Universe. It's supposed to be in the same canon universe, but the changes that Celestia makes and the effects caused by it throw it into a world of brokenness that is beyond recognition.
I'll sleep on it, but I'm leaning a lot more on the putting it in, since so many people have brought it up.
AU tags added. I was going to add it the day after the last comment was made, but I MIGHT have forgotten about it. It's all better now.
New chapters will be happening in a little bit. I need to discuss what happens after chapter 3B of BfR, and it's purplefire12's turn in Trying Love, so I can write more of this. Thank you guys.
Sad but at least better than the fear of a Pegasus story I read that one was terrible