2355763 We aim to please Since you were nice enough to comment, I think I'll give you a status update The next chapter is going through a minor rewrite at this point and I'm also writing a separate one shot project for a contest, but chapter five should be out faster than chapter 4 was.
2452581 Lol, Yeah I didn't really think much into repair spells. I Just gave him communications and ran with it.
Just imagine the look on Click's face if he finds out that little tidbit about the Wasteland's savior.
Actually, Stellar's coincidental thoughts are just a running gag this chapter to show how in tune they are, sorry. Ironically, Chapter 5 does involves a lot of mind reading, hint hint
A Stable destroyed by Farmville: Just imagine if someone reads that out of context!
You know, the cover to this really reminds me of the song,"Ratfinks" by white zombie. Any beavis and butthead fans know what I'm talking about ;))))) Click didn't happen to drink cactus juice, did he?
2515977 All I remember about Beavis and Butthead is Cornholio and that their laughs creeped me out when I was a kid. Sorry. But who knows, I might see an episode in the near future and decide it deserves a place in here.
The one thing I really regret is the cold water joke... It was a reference to Fluttershy's fake pony pox, but I think it was a bit forced.
Boaris and the mole ponies are DEFINITELY gonna get out sooner or later, and no worries about radiation, they're slightly resistant... everything else will probably kick their asses though. I actually made a mole pony race for the FOE PnP game, although I'm sure they got some balance issues. Thanks for reading :3
2626597 Huh, fimfic didn't give me any notification of your reply. It seems to be acting weird lately... I currently have a completely read and even completed fic standing in my unread updates for some reason, too (it all started when I finally found the time to start on your Chapter Two... your wild wastelandness is messing up my fimfic! )
I kinda wished Boaris would've come with them... though I'm not sure how fast Mole ponies would walk on the surface, with their weird digging hooves.
Are they gonna be back later in the story, or not?
2629472 Sorry, I just bring the weird, I can't really control it.
I actually wrote this chapter as a sort of "padding" (I go into it more in the ch 3 author's notes), so the story was already mostly planned and Boaris was a little late to the game, but following Click out would TOTALLY be in character for him.
They will be reappearing though: Remember Hot Mess, from the writing contest? I'm planning more stories like that, and I think they definitely have potential for an adventure like that. It'd be a crime to do any less.
2630685 Moleponies sidefic of Wild Wasteland? Sign me up
2630700 Eh. Project Horizons is still one of my favourite sidefics. It'd be kinda hypocritical to whine about what you write when Somber abuses his characters way worse (Also, I don't really pull my punches either in The Daily Unlife. I did let Lemon execute Misty's great-great-etc grandpa right in front of her )
"My special talent is concealing entrances, and hiding the door to this place was one of my best jobs, so just as long as nopony tries to leave and exposes the door, you guys will be completely safe."
Safehouse, Harry Potter style!
"Wow... Where the fudge did that come from?"
Holy carp, Knight is secretly a tactical genius?
"We've been saving our best teleporters for this, guys who can combine their spells together and teleport a dozen ponies from here to anywhere in Baltimare."
So... why exactly haven't they winked into Canis' quarters and back and dumped him in some really bad place? Like, the middle of some irradiated lake, or something?
It was a dark thought, but I didn't want to waste any time with them in case anyone died.
"In the Wasteland, you need friends to survive... but not true friends. True friends just die, and make you stop wanting to survive." -some crazy stallion that wandered into Stable One, to Lemon Frisk
They were able to give us each plenty of dynamite and lighters
Okay, so they even HAVE their really bad place to dump Canis into. Really, light it all, and give it one express winkstepper-delivery to his bedroom? Or even better, dig some pit no one can get out of, dump it in, add one Canis through winkstepping? These people really seem to have a need for Lemon Frisk's way of evaluating problems
"nopony wants to share a bed with you because it also means sharing one with whatever those things are that we can see crawling around in your fur"
Weren't they given a bath tub? She DIDN'T USE IT?
Canis vanished in a flash of light
Goddammit. I thought they'd know about it if he had managed to learn it too Seriously... should've just dumped the dynamite in there. No ponies, no one teleporting along, just dynamite. Preferably on the floors below and above him and in all adjacent rooms, so he wouldn't see any flashes and would be right in the middle of it
Instead, she simply cast a spell, and suddenly we were elsewhere.
Figures the teleporters get the good gear... legion in the making.
"Where else in nature does this occur? Nowhere."
He'd be right, if not for the fact herds (and, in fact, humanity) evolved into a social group taking care of all individuals, to increase the whole group's chances of survival. And looking at old Equestria, it certainly worked
I lit one of the explosives and launched it after him.
And he dies in exactly the way I suggested from the start, minus the convenient teleporting the stuff to him
"their life's blood pooling in the void that should normally house my soul"
Oh gods, this guy is hilarious!
Corrections: > for about half a year before finding New Appleloosa There's a double space behind "year" > When we got out there, everypony else double space between "everypony" and "else" > When she was done, Bishop added his own two bits Missing period behind this sentence > I let's just get a little bit of information The "I" at the start shouldn't be there. > even bringing in a washtub for us to bathe with "to bathe [in]", not 'with'. > There was one place we excelled, however "excelled [in]". Also, I don't think you can substitute the "area" in "to excel in an area" with "place", since it's actually short for "area of expertise" in that context. In this, I'd just say "one thing we excelled in". > Come on we need to get moving. comma after "Come on" > Calamity was on his feet again in a second Feet? Try "hooves" > if I wasn't confidant I could win anyway? Again, "confident". "Confidant" is a noun, not an adjective. > meant that it's bearer was a witness to the Legion's strength "[its] bearer". Dammit, get it right! It's not hard > Hey... Since you're going to be more open to trade As I mentioned before, the ellipsis is functionally equivalent to a comma. It doesn't end a sentence, so no capital letter behind it.
2638232 Nice catches, I did not think of some of those! Looks like it's time to practice my "a wizard did it" skills :
Winksteppers killing Canis with teleportation- They had to wait for Click's help because "Minor characters may not kill villains without aid from a main character." This is outlined in the Geneva Conventions, and the Winksteppers are an honorable tribe who resolved not to break the laws of war.
Knight taking a bath- Whether she bathed or not was irrelevant, as whatever's infesting her can only be removed by a combination of pesticide, fire, and reading aloud from the bible.
Canis's "where else in nature does this occur" line- Canis single hoofedly killed a Hellhound and fights by swinging its severed hands around. Your argument is invalid.
P.S. Chapter 4 is in the prereading stage, so you wont have gotten through it for long.
That was interesting. Kinda reminds me of Project Horizons's fourth chapter with Morning Glory's first appearance and their bit of adventure together and whatnot.
While the song bits don't make me laugh (and I haven't looked up the tunes that's supposed to back the lines for any of the songs so far) it strikes me as particularly fitting. After all, music's always been a bit part of FiM.
I remember there being one or two moments that made me chuckle in this chapter, but I can't remember what they were off of the top of my head.
Well that was awesome.
2355763
We aim to please Since you were nice enough to comment, I think I'll give you a status update The next chapter is going through a minor rewrite at this point and I'm also writing a separate one shot project for a contest, but chapter five should be out faster than chapter 4 was.
2452581 Lol, Yeah I didn't really think much into repair spells. I Just gave him communications and ran with it.
Just imagine the look on Click's face if he finds out that little tidbit about the Wasteland's savior.
Actually, Stellar's coincidental thoughts are just a running gag this chapter to show how in tune they are, sorry. Ironically, Chapter 5 does involves a lot of mind reading, hint hint
A Stable destroyed by Farmville: Just imagine if someone reads that out of context!
Thanks for commenting
I saw that "Down with the sickness" quote there in the prolouge, I seed it ;))))))))
You know, the cover to this really reminds me of the song,"Ratfinks" by white zombie. Any beavis and butthead fans know what I'm talking about ;))))) Click didn't happen to drink cactus juice, did he?
2515977 All I remember about Beavis and Butthead is Cornholio and that their laughs creeped me out when I was a kid. Sorry. But who knows, I might see an episode in the near future and decide it deserves a place in here.
2625048 *whistles* Now THAT was a critique.
The one thing I really regret is the cold water joke... It was a reference to Fluttershy's fake pony pox, but I think it was a bit forced.
Boaris and the mole ponies are DEFINITELY gonna get out sooner or later, and no worries about radiation, they're slightly resistant... everything else will probably kick their asses though. I actually made a mole pony race for the FOE PnP game, although I'm sure they got some balance issues. Thanks for reading :3
2626597
Huh, fimfic didn't give me any notification of your reply. It seems to be acting weird lately... I currently have a completely read and even completed fic standing in my unread updates for some reason, too
(it all started when I finally found the time to start on your Chapter Two... your wild wastelandness is messing up my fimfic! )
I kinda wished Boaris would've come with them... though I'm not sure how fast Mole ponies would walk on the surface, with their weird digging hooves.
Are they gonna be back later in the story, or not?
2629472 Sorry, I just bring the weird, I can't really control it.
I actually wrote this chapter as a sort of "padding" (I go into it more in the ch 3 author's notes), so the story was already mostly planned and Boaris was a little late to the game, but following Click out would TOTALLY be in character for him.
They will be reappearing though: Remember Hot Mess, from the writing contest? I'm planning more stories like that, and I think they definitely have potential for an adventure like that. It'd be a crime to do any less.
And they can walk just fine, don't worry.
2628998 Wow, I was worried how you'd react to her, but you really seem to get it :3 I am sorry I had to do that though.
2630685
Moleponies sidefic of Wild Wasteland? Sign me up
2630700
Eh. Project Horizons is still one of my favourite sidefics. It'd be kinda hypocritical to whine about what you write when Somber abuses his characters way worse
(Also, I don't really pull my punches either in The Daily Unlife. I did let Lemon execute Misty's great-great-etc grandpa right in front of her )
2634342 It wont be fore a good while, but it will be worth it ;3
And I got through this one too! Whee!
Safehouse, Harry Potter style!
Holy carp, Knight is secretly a tactical genius?
So... why exactly haven't they winked into Canis' quarters and back and dumped him in some really bad place? Like, the middle of some irradiated lake, or something?
"In the Wasteland, you need friends to survive... but not true friends. True friends just die, and make you stop wanting to survive."
-some crazy stallion that wandered into Stable One, to Lemon Frisk
Okay, so they even HAVE their really bad place to dump Canis into. Really, light it all, and give it one express winkstepper-delivery to his bedroom? Or even better, dig some pit no one can get out of, dump it in, add one Canis through winkstepping?
These people really seem to have a need for Lemon Frisk's way of evaluating problems
Weren't they given a bath tub? She DIDN'T USE IT?
Goddammit. I thought they'd know about it if he had managed to learn it too
Seriously... should've just dumped the dynamite in there. No ponies, no one teleporting along, just dynamite. Preferably on the floors below and above him and in all adjacent rooms, so he wouldn't see any flashes and would be right in the middle of it
Figures the teleporters get the good gear... legion in the making.
He'd be right, if not for the fact herds (and, in fact, humanity) evolved into a social group taking care of all individuals, to increase the whole group's chances of survival. And looking at old Equestria, it certainly worked
And he dies in exactly the way I suggested from the start, minus the convenient teleporting the stuff to him
Oh gods, this guy is hilarious!
Corrections:
> for about half a year before finding New Appleloosa
There's a double space behind "year"
> When we got out there, everypony else
double space between "everypony" and "else"
> When she was done, Bishop added his own two bits
Missing period behind this sentence
> I let's just get a little bit of information
The "I" at the start shouldn't be there.
> even bringing in a washtub for us to bathe with
"to bathe [in]", not 'with'.
> There was one place we excelled, however
"excelled [in]". Also, I don't think you can substitute the "area" in "to excel in an area" with "place", since it's actually short for "area of expertise" in that context. In this, I'd just say "one thing we excelled in".
> Come on we need to get moving.
comma after "Come on"
> Calamity was on his feet again in a second
Feet? Try "hooves"
> if I wasn't confidant I could win anyway?
Again, "confident". "Confidant" is a noun, not an adjective.
> meant that it's bearer was a witness to the Legion's strength
"[its] bearer". Dammit, get it right! It's not hard
> Hey... Since you're going to be more open to trade
As I mentioned before, the ellipsis is functionally equivalent to a comma. It doesn't end a sentence, so no capital letter behind it.
2638232 Nice catches, I did not think of some of those! Looks like it's time to practice my "a wizard did it" skills :
Winksteppers killing Canis with teleportation- They had to wait for Click's help because "Minor characters may not kill villains without aid from a main character." This is outlined in the Geneva Conventions, and the Winksteppers are an honorable tribe who resolved not to break the laws of war.
Knight taking a bath- Whether she bathed or not was irrelevant, as whatever's infesting her can only be removed by a combination of pesticide, fire, and reading aloud from the bible.
Canis's "where else in nature does this occur" line- Canis single hoofedly killed a Hellhound and fights by swinging its severed hands around. Your argument is invalid.
P.S. Chapter 4 is in the prereading stage, so you wont have gotten through it for long.
2639472
Umm, I hope you mean Chapter 5? Prereading is normally before publishing
2641541 Yes -'.'-
2642402
PS: Tell your prereaders to argue less about their waifus and find more errors. That list I posted was embarrassingly long
2643089 Yeah, only two are editors actually. The others are there for opinions. I will tell them though.
That was interesting. Kinda reminds me of Project Horizons's fourth chapter with Morning Glory's first appearance and their bit of adventure together and whatnot.
While the song bits don't make me laugh (and I haven't looked up the tunes that's supposed to back the lines for any of the songs so far) it strikes me as particularly fitting. After all, music's always been a bit part of FiM.
I remember there being one or two moments that made me chuckle in this chapter, but I can't remember what they were off of the top of my head.